When I was a kid, I was an expert at Christmas lists for Santa, or for anyone who would buy me gifts. I would carefully craft my list for the family, precisely detailing each item. It had to be the Butterscotch My Little Pony – if you got me Snuzzle I’d throw it out the window. And if someone was getting me Voltron (yep, I loved girl and boy toys), it had better be the metallic lions, not the crappy plastic version, or worse – the Voltron made of cars. Ick.

Of course, I also had to make sure it was as easy as possible for people to find these toys. So on my list I included where each item could be purchased, even noting the prices and page numbers if they were available in the J.C. Penney Wish Book. I may have even included the catalog’s phone number as well; after all, I didn’t want to risk getting clothing because they didn’t know how to order my toys!

And like many girls, I also always included a real pony on my list. Not surprisingly, I never got that item. It was probably for the best: we lived in town and I doubt the landlord would have given us our deposit back for hoofprints on the walls.

I found myself having trouble this year coming up with a Christmas list for my family. I was happy to receive their lists and start planning what to get them, but when it came to me, I was drawing a blank. What do I want, anyway?

Most Christmas wishes I can think of are either intangible gifts or gifts that would be considered “for the house”. I’d love a small chest freezer so I could stock up on frozen foods when they go on sale. Or maybe a day where I escaped wearing any of my daughter’s meals in any form. And what mom wouldn’t love more sleep? That would be a great gift – sleeping in until noon.

I’d also like my house to magically clean itself to spare me the upcoming work of making it presentable for family. We have to rearrange furniture to make room for all of the people coming to our house on Christmas Day, vacuum, dust, mop, and in general turn our house into something it hasn’t been since, um, last Christmas.

However, an item someone can purchase for me? I just don’t know. Last year I got a gift card for Bath & Body Works so that I could spend some time pampering myself (ours has a partial spa in it). I still have over $60 on that $100 gift card, because while I’d love to have more massages and facials, it’s very hard to do so when I have a toddler to keep my eye on. I managed to get one facial when I had a day off work but still took Cordy to see her grandfather for the day. Since then, I haven’t been able to find time to schedule another. Hell, I barely find time to shower 4 of 7 days a week (5 days if I’m lucky).

I’ll ask you: what are you asking for this Christmas (or Hanukkah, or other holiday)? And can it be found in the J.C. Penney Wish Book?

Today I was happy to read this article on the NY Times web site. It discusses the trend of babywearing in New York City, describing a “try-on” party being held in a sandwich shop to let parents try out new types of baby carriers.

While not an expert on the subject, I happen to know quite a bit about babywearing and I love seeing positive news about it. When Cordelia was born she was, um, not a happy baby. A shrieking banshee is how I described her, I think. She refused to come out and greet the world (full breech requiring c-section), and once she was yanked out unceremoniously to a cold, harsh world, she made her feelings well known.

The first week at home was a nightmare. There was crying, there was wailing, there was thrashing – and that was just me. Cordy was determined to prove to us that we were the Worst People Ever for taking her from her warm womb. We were given a ring sling from a friend of mine who sews slings. She made her first one as a response to having a first child much like mine, and from there decided that all the new parents she knew must have one. Bless her.

We used the sling the first week, and oh, how it helped! Along with tight swaddling (we love our nurses for teaching us this!), our colicky daughter loved being held tight up against my body in the sling. I could walk around the house, and to her it was just like old times, complete with hearing my heartbeat, feeling my warmth, and being swayed by the same movement as before. Aaron and I would take turns wearing her, walking around the living room, gently bouncing up and down on an exercise ball – anything to quiet her down and make her feel more at home.

I read up on the use of slings, including the wisdom of Dr. Sears (like Dr. Spock, only crunchier), and realized that there was actual research to back up the use of these things. The NY Times article mentions this:

Aside from using the fabric as a fashionable way to feature their infants, who are, after all, the most winning fashion accessories imaginable, they saw baby-wearing as a wise, age-old practice. Babies who are worn by their parents cry less and are more engaged in the world around them, according to experts on raising children.

People, listen to me: screw fashion. Pay attention to the last part of that quote, because that’s the nugget of Truth. Cordelia lived in that sling at least 4-6 hours a day during her first three months. Without it, I don’t think I could have survived. Or at least not without far stronger antidepressants than they were already giving me.

As she got older, we needed the sling far less, although it was still a very convenient way to travel. If I was running errands, it was much easier to throw on the sling and put her in it at each stop, rather than lug the SUV stroller out of the trunk each time. I could also get things done around the house without the worry of her waking up the second I set her down (and she was so good at popping open those eyes the second she touched the cotton sheet).

The ring sling also gave Aaron extra bonding time with Cordy. Hollywood be damned: there’s nothing sexier than a man wearing a baby. OK, maybe a man wearing a baby doing dishes.

As Cordy got older, we started trying some other carriers. She never liked the Bjorn or the Snugli, so we sold them. I bought an asian-style Mei Tai, and that worked very well once she was sitting up and more mobile. It can be worn either on your front or back. I preferred the backpack style.

I also bought a Mei Hip carrier. I love these things! It’s a lot like the Playtex Hip Hammock. It has a single strap that goes across you, a strap around your waist, and the baby sits in a fabric seat at your hip. Very comfortable, very easy to use. It also helps that I’ve got, ahem, “good” hips for carrying a baby like that. The Mei Hip saves my arms from tiring at least.

My only complaint with the NY Times article is that it is far too short and doesn’t have enough information. The author briefly covers the topic, but other than the one passage I quoted, doesn’t even begin to cover all of the benefits of babywearing. I will happily sing the praises of babywearing to any who will listen. Hell, I even got myself quoted in Parents magazine.

If you’re interested in learning more about babywearing, or seeing the research that the NY Times refers to, I’d suggest checking out TheBabywearer.com or Nine in Nine Out. They can give you information on the different types of baby carriers, match up which carrier is right for you, and you can find support from other moms and dads who believe in babywearing.

*This Public Service Announcement brought to you by a happy babywearing mommy. Oh, and the letter Y and the number 4.

My little Baby Einstein was playing with her Noah’s Ark set today, and left it like this:

Oh, if only Noah had been given his own helicopter! Maybe it would have been less than 40 days and 40 nights, and maybe those doves could have had a rest!

I consider myself very lucky that we were able to ditch the expense of daycare when I switched to a part-time job. I work Monday thru Wednesday, and then have Thursday thru Sunday off. On Mondays, Cordy goes to Aaron’s dad’s house. He lives in town, is a freelance Web designer and writer who works from home, and he loves spending the day with her.

Tuesday, she goes to my friend Lisa’s house. Lisa is a SAHM with a little boy 5 months older than Cordelia. I pay her for her trouble, because well, she’s not family, so she’s in no way obligated to this little girl. It’s good for both kids – they get to socialize and deal with the fact that other kids will play with their toys, so they’d better learn to just get along.

Wednesdays are really great, though. My mom, who lives 45 min. away in my hometown, drives up to our house to spend the day watching Cordy. She willingly gives up one of her two days off a week to make the drive up. It’s just one of many reasons why I think my mom is awesome.

My mom was divorced when I was a little over a year old, and she raised me on her own while working full-time as a laboratory technician (which doesn’t pay well). She’s always been there for me for anything, and after Cordy was born, she was just as willing to help out with her, too. She was here at least once a week helping me when Cordy was a newborn, and when we needed to get rid of daycare, she volunteered to babysit.

Now, there is one odd thing about when my mom comes up to our house. If she sees something that needs done, she does it without asking. It’s something most of our family does, although that particular trait seems to have skipped me. This often means coming home to the dishes washed, our clothing washed, or some part of the house cleaned. She also often takes Cordy out and goes shopping for us, or other times shows up at the door in the morning with bags of diapers and wipes for us (she’s supplied about 75% of Cordy’s diapers thus far). This Wednesday, she bought more overnight diapers for Cordelia. I thought that was all she did, but then I found the pile of clean baby clothing and noticed the bathroom upstairs was cleaned.

We don’t ask her to do these things at all – I swear! But Cordy isn’t as clingy with her as she is with me, so my mom can get more done around here than I can. Anytime I try to clean when I’m alone with Cordelia, she throws a fit that I’m not right next to her watching the Wiggles. Mom has yet to share with me her magical skills of getting everything done while keeping Cordy happy. I really, really wish she’d let me in on the secret.

Of course, not all is sunshine and rainbows with this deal. In return for her doing all of these things, we often must listen to lectures about how cluttered our house is, how we need to spend more time doing this or that, how we need to better manage our money, etc. This doesn’t bother me – I’ve been living with that arrangement with her for my entire life, and I have to admit she often speaks the truth.

Aaron, on the other hand, really gets annoyed. The two of them get along, and Aaron often proudly claims that he is one of the few he knows who likes his mother-in-law. But Aaron doesn’t like being told that we’re bad housekeepers. Lately, he’s started washing all the dishes sitting around every Wednesday morning so my mom won’t have any to wash. He’ll also pick up any personal items lying around and put them away to keep her from putting them somewhere he won’t find them.

I’m starting to wonder if my mom is using some kind of reverse psychology on him? I mean, I don’t think she’s sitting around thinking, “OK, if I just do his chores, but do them slightly differently than him, it’ll drive him crazy! Then he’ll start doing them just to make sure I don’t mess up his system! Mwahahahaha!” But if she is trying to make him do his chores more often, it seems to be working.

I’m very thankful that we have so much help from our families. Without them, the parent gig would be much more difficult. I don’t know how those without family around manage everything, and I don’t know how my mom managed as a single mom. But I do know I consider myself very lucky for the help we do have.

** Oh, and we’re not the total slobs I’m making us sound like here. We just have a lot of clutter, and a child who likes to throw all of her toys into the middle of the floor. There’s a big difference between dirty and cluttered. And in a week it will be spotless for Christmas, because the rest of my family will be here, and there’s no way Aaron wants them to start in on the housework also.

Scene: The living room, last night

Me: Well, after an hour of crunching numbers, I’m done balancing the checkbook.

Aaron: (not looking up from his computer) And?

Me: I’ve determined we eat out too much, and it’s killing our budget.

Aaron: We knew that. So, how is our financial situation at the moment?

Me: Currently? Our 14 month old daughter has more money in her account than we do.

(Pause)

Aaron: (still not looking up from his computer) Hmmm…guess she’s buying the Christmas gifts this year, eh?