I had the beginnings of an intelligent post today, but then I ate a couple of donuts with my lunch, and my brain has turned to mush due to carb overload.

Since coherent thoughts are difficult at the moment, I’ll leave you with this video for today. This is what happens when you flip the viewscreen so a toddler can watch herself on video (the audio seems to be about a second delayed for some reason).

Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored has been posting some awesome thoughts on the issue of mom and mommy bloggers. I’ve been following this topic with great interest, trying to understand it as best I can.

I’ve tried to wrap my mind around the debate going on in the blogging world, but I still have no definite answers, so I’m going to try to throw some thoughts out here. This is by no means a coherent post, and the best way for me to consider the issues is by interviewing myself. Yes, it’s weird. Bear with me.

What is the difference between mommy blogs and mom blogs?

To me, I see no difference. I know that others see a big difference, however. There are mommy blogs, which are self-absorbed blogs that do nothing but chronicle the lives of their children and their domestic activities. Mom blogs, on the other hand, are cool, hip women who happen to be mothers, posting often humorous takes on life and motherhood. These are not my definitions – they are just what I have gained from reading lots and lots of blogs. Could it be that the only differences between the two are that the moms don’t take themselves seriously, are funny and don’t focus on the minutiae of daily activities?

Then again, there are plenty of people out there who don’t care about the differences, and see any blog by a mom as a “mommy” blog, and therefore write them off as being trivial and a waste of space. As an example, I will point you to this post, where the author snarked me for being a mommy blogger, and therefore a waste of the internet. That author seems to say that posting pictures of your child is an exercise in vanity and is a topic that no one other than great-aunt Hilda would find of value. It may be of no value to that person, but that person can’t determine that no one else is interested in the subject.

Are you a mommy blogger or a mom blogger?

Truthfully? I’m a mommy blogger. It’s a mommy blog, dammit. Deal with it. Hey, I think I just found my new tagline!

As I said at Kristen’s blog, to me, mommy sounds more youthful than mom or mother, so anything that will make me appear younger is fine with me. Also, I started this blog as a result of my daughter. I had an old LiveJournal that was truly boring, and only of interest to my close friends (and not even them, sometimes). I’ve done lots of interesting things with my life, but motherhood was the one thing that flipped my world upside down.

I chose to create a blog for two reasons. First, I wanted to write again. Having quit my job as a technical writer to spend more time with Cordy, I found myself missing writing. Second,seeing how blindsided I was by motherhood, I wanted to get my thoughts and feelings out there and see if anyone else felt the same way.

You’ll probably hear very few stories of domesticity here, unless it begins with, “I tried to cook something today and burned down the kitchen,” or “In attempting to glue a picture into Cordy’s baby book I accidentally glued myself to the book.” (Which, in those cases, are things worth blogging about.)

What about the mommy “wars”?

I’m reminded of the saying “The Irish fight themselves because they haven’t found any worthy opponents.” Dismissing the stereotype of women, I say women are fierce creatures, but we waste too much of our venom on fighting each other. Who cares if one mom is a SAHM and the next is a WOHM? Obviously there are reasons for each of them, situations that we don’t know the details of, and personal feelings that need to be considered. We’re all moms, all trying to raise our kids to the best of our abilities, constantly trying to do what we think is best for them. (OK, maybe not the mom on last week’s Nanny 911.)

Why spend time fighting each other when we can work together to fight for common causes? We want our kids to have good education, good healthcare, and a safe neighborhood – fight for those causes! Too big for you? OK, fine, then help fight the stereotypes perpetuated out there about moms. Don’t assume that a SAHM is either rich or uneducated, and a WOHM clearly doesn’t love her kids enough to stay home with them. Wouldn’t a culture of understanding, where all moms are valued regardless of their work status, income level, etc. be a wonderful thing?

Do you think we’ll ever get to that level of understanding?

Probably not. I remember trying to join a MOMS club last year. I e-mailed the leader of the closest club, and asked when and where their meetings were. I received an e-mail back asking me where I lived. I explained that I lived south of their area, and she replied again asking what school district I lived in. When I told her, I received one final e-mail telling me that I didn’t live within their area, and I was not welcome. It was clear that because I didn’t live in the ritzy school district, so I wasn’t good enough for them.

Just like high-school, cliques are present in the mom world and are probably here to stay. Everyone wants to feel like they belong, and choosing some way to limit themselves, such as school district, gives them that comfortable “us vs. them” feeling. Personally I think it’s juvenile and limiting. Had I limited myself to factors like that, I wouldn’t have the diverse set of friends I’ve met over the years.

Getting back to blogging, my hope is that people can get past finding something to bitch about and stick to writing about what they know and like. If you don’t like “mommy” blogs, well then don’t read them. I can’t force you to read my blog, just as I can’t force you to look past any stereotypes you may have already formed about mommy blogs.

So there. It’s a mommy blog, dammit. Deal with it.

Whew. I feel better now. I have no idea what all I just wrote, because it kind of spilled out, so please excuse the stream of consciousness.

Thanks to Her Bad Mother for tagging me to do this meme and saving me from having to think of a real post today!

In true lemming fashion, I present my answers to the A-Z meme:

Accent(s): Standard clear US English (think national newscasters) with a touch of southern occasionally, and some British pronunciations of certain words. On command, I can do a perfect BBC British accent, as well as a cockney accent.

Booze of Choice: Currently Smirnoff Ice Black Cherry – I swear it tastes like cherry Jell-O. Yum. Also fond of strawberry daiquiris and tangerine wine.

Chore I Hate: All of them? I’d say cleaning out the litterboxes is the worst. Cleaning the bathrooms is pretty icky too, but lucky that’s Aaron’s chore, not mine.

Dog or Cat: We have two Siamese cats that I adore. HBM is right – they are like dogs in cat bodies. Someday we may get a dog – if so I’d lean towards a Boxer or a Weimaraner, and Aaron leans towards a Lab.

Essential Electronics: Digital camera, iPod, cell phone. When Cordy’s awake, the laptop is a necessity: if I try to check something on my computer, she throws a fit.

Favorite perfume(s)/cologne(s): None – most of them stink and give me a headache. Maybe I’d like them better if I didn’t grow up around so many people in my town who bathed in the stuff. I do like the aromatherapy line from Bath & Body Works.

Gold or silver: White gold

Hometown: Born in Columbus, OH. Grew up in Washington Court House, OH.

Insomnia: Not since having a child. Now, given the chance, I can sleep anytime.

Job Title(s): Lady Who Cordy Won’t Call Mommy, Chief Litterbox Cleaner, Student Advisor

Kids: At the moment, just the one. But she can feel like two sometimes.

Living Arrangements: New 2-story house with a large backyard.

Most Admired Trait: I have no idea what trait others admire in me. I’d guess my capacity for having sympathy for others. Or maybe its my ability to be realistic, which some appreciate and some hate.

Number of Sexual Partners: Currently? One.

Overnight Hospital Stays: Two – one to have my tonsils out as a child, and the other was for my c-section when I had Cordy.

Phobia: Flying, spiders, and looking like a total moron.

Quote: “Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst.” -a fortune cookie

Religion: Universalist, I think. I believe there is truth to be gained from all religions, and it all boils down to “Be nice to each other.”

Siblings: One sister who passed away shortly after she was born, and one half-sister, who I don’t speak to often.

Time(s) I Wake Up: I’m nearly always awake between 7-8am, although I usually wake up earlier when I hear Cordy wake up. Aaron takes her in the morning so I can go back to sleep for a bit. See Insomnia, above.

Unusual Talent/Skill: I can name all of the English monarchs in order, and rattle off an entire lecture on 16th century England without even prepping for it. I can view human cadavers without vomiting. Oh, and I can sew complicated 16th century costumes, but can’t install a zipper.

Vegetable I Refuse To Eat: Brussel Sprouts.

Worst Habit(s): Using far too much 80’s slang, like dude and awesome. Picking at my nails.

X-rays: Hands, feet, arms, legs, sinuses, teeth…most of my body, really.

Yummiest Food I Make: No food I make would ever have the title of “yummy” attached to it, unless it was “This is a yummy dinner, compared to eating dirt.”

Zodiac Sign: Gemini or Cancer, depending upon the astrologer (was born on cusp -– June 21). Yes, that makes me special, too. For those of you who follow astrology, it means I’m either an introvert who really wants to be a party girl, or an extrovert who just prefers to stay home.

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Now it’s time to tag some others. Let’s see, I’ll tag Erin, Kristi, and Rhonda.

I caved yesterday and got my own CafePress store. I’m not all that graphically inclined, but I had a few ideas for some shirts, and so I threw a few images together and asked my expert panel (my husband, a few friends) what they thought of them. They liked them, so the store is now open. Besides, if I make a few bucks, maybe I can get to BlogHer this year.

I wanted a shirt that really covered all of who I am, as well as many other mommy (mom, mama, whatever) bloggers out there. If people like the design, I’ll come up with variations and ones for dads as well.

Plus I finally put one of my nicknames for my daughter on a toddler shirt. It’s appropriate for many of our kids, I think.

So, please go check out my store and tell me what you think!

I am unashamed to admit that I watch Nanny 911. Yes, it’s reality trash TV, and I love every minute of it.

I could tell you that I watch it for the parenting tips, so that I can learn their techniques to become a better parent myself. Oh, I could tell you that. But it’s not the truth.

Truth is, I watch it to remind myself that I’m not the worst parent in the world. I feel so much better about my parenting skills after just one episode of Nanny 911. How can you not think you’re not too bad of a parent after watching the people on this show? If Aaron’s home, it’s even worse, because we watch in horror and then say to each other, “Can you believe that? We would never do that!”

Sure, I judge them. Everyone does. It’s something I try not to do in real life, but when you put yourself and your family on national TV, you’re just begging to be judged.

Last night, however, was the first night that a show such as this brought me to tears. Did anyone else see this episode about the Longairc family? They have three kids, and their kids lacked any respect for anyone.

The mother, though, was the worst. While her husband tried to do his best to discipline the kids, she did most of her parenting from the couch as she stuffed her face. She would bark orders at the kids, taunt and tease them, and put them down. And yet she claimed to be a good mother to them.

The part that brought me to tears was when the 6 yr. old daughter was on the couch with her mom. She asked her mom for a hug, and her mom told her no and to leave her alone. The little girl persisted, and so the mom dragged the girl into her room and punished her. All for asking for a hug! As the little girl cried in her room, her mom yelled to her that she was being a baby.

When you’re sitting on the couch doing nothing, and you refuse your daughter a hug and instead push her away, you’re a bad parent in my book. I wanted to reach through the TV and give that poor little girl a hug myself. So, so sad.

Edit: The worst part of the show was the end, when it was clear that the mom had no intention of changing her ways, because she was so in denial about being a bad parent. She thought she was doing a fine job. I hope the dad and these kids can keep working on things even though she’s so useless.