I have tried to explain to Cordy the intricacies of celebrating Christmas, including presents, the Christmas tree, Santa, and giving gifts to others. But she’s two, and her comprehension of this upcoming holiday is still limited to, “Oooh! Itza big twee!”

This morning, Cordy was walking around the living room holding a gift we were given at a holiday party this weekend. It is a small tub of chocolates with a bow on top. Every few minutes, she would bring it up to me and say “pwesent!” She understands the word “present” now, although I think a present to her is anything with a bow on it. Still, it’s a start, right?

(I should also clarify that she wasn’t offering me the present – she simply wanted to show it to me. Every time I reached for it, she’d pull it close to her chest and run away.)

So I decided that maybe it was time for another Christmas lesson between Dora and Diego this morning. I sat down on the floor near our Christmas tree, and said to her, “Cordy, do you know where to put presents?”

She turned, gave me a puzzled look as if to say, “Go on…,” and came closer to me. “We put presents under the Christmas tree,” I explained, patting the ground under the tree to demonstrate.

Cordy walked towards the tree slowly, examining the area under it. “Yes, we put presents under the tree, and they stay there until Christmas day,” I told her, thinking that she understood.

However, Cordy then locked eyes with me, smiled and said with a laugh, “Nnooooooo! Dat’s silly!” Then she walked away, still carrying her present.

I tried to explain more, including the part of opening presents on Christmas day, but with another roll of her eyes and exclamation of, “Nnooooo! Dat’s silly!” I realized that she thought I was clearly making all of this up. After all, there are no presents under the tree currently to prove my story to her. (We haven’t had the time or money yet to start Christmas shopping.) So in her mind, I was trying to trick her to give up her present with some phony story about putting presents under a tree.

Maybe it will make more sense after this weekend, when there are other presents under the tree for her to see. Or maybe she’ll just think I’m putting them there to back up this fishy tale I told her.

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Henslowe: Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.
Fennyman: So what do we do?
Henslowe: Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.
Fennyman: How?
Henslowe: I don’t know. It’s a mystery.
– Shakespeare in Love

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Somehow the pressures and stress of the past week seem to have worked themselves out, although I’m still uncertain how it all came together.

Aaron’s car was dead. As in not worth the money to fix dead. We set out on car shopping expeditions Thursday night, which also continued Friday night and most of the day Saturday. The predicament was what kind of car to get. Before this happened, we had planned to purchase a new car sometime in mid- or late 2007, after paying off a bit of a credit card debt that had accumulated prior to Aaron getting his new job, and larger salary, in July. After paying the credit debt off, we would then save for a down payment, and have a nice cushion on which to afford a new, larger, safer, easy-to-handle-two-children car.

But of course fate doesn’t always go along with what you want. And so we looked to the budget to see what we could cut, and with those cuts, what we could afford. The result was that we could afford something better than a ’95 2-door car with 100,000+ miles and rust, but nothing nicer than an older sedan with at least 50,000 miles or so. Our emergency fund had been depleted to just over $1000, and monthly payments would have to be in the $100-150 range, possibly up to $200 a month.

At that point, as I was giving myself a massive migraine from the stress, things started to work out. I remembered I had an old 401k from my previous employer that I had yet to roll into my current retirement fund. It had been slowly tanking, thanks to the poor investment choices offered by said employer, but it still had some money left in it. (Before anyone starts lecturing me on withdrawing money from a retirement fund, yes, I know the crazy fees associated with doing this, and yes, I know taking money from a 401k just sets any retirement goals back. But trust me, there wasn’t enough in there to do much for my current retirement planning, and in this situation, it seemed like the right thing to do.)

And then there was my mom. I’ve said before that my mother is an amazing help to us. She babysits once a week, buys most of Cordy’s diapers despite my requests not to, and gives us money on occasion (that we are not allowed to refuse). I’ve never understood why she helps us so much, and I’ve told her many times to focus on her upcoming retirement instead of us, but she insists on doing it. I’ll never be able to repay her, and can only hope I’ll be as much help to our kids as she is to me.

Anyway, she called us Friday night, and told me she was shifting some money from her house account to her checking account, and was going to give us money to help with a down payment. The house account is money she receives from my grandmother as rent for currently living in the house I grew up in. (Yes, my grandmother insists on paying rent – the family is very insistent when it comes to money.) My mom refused to let us buy a run-down car that might not be as safe as a newer car, and she knew something with more space would be good, especially with baby #2 on the way. I argued with her several times, trying to turn down her offer of assistance – after all, she retires in just over a year and will need all her money – but she wouldn’t budge. So now we had a significantly larger down payment to work with, and a much better range of available options.

The next stroke of luck came when I found a slightly used 2006 Hyundai on the internet at one of the local dealers. The price was well below what others were selling the same model for, so of course I worried there had to be a catch. We looked it over, had it checked out, and the truth is, there was no catch. The dealer had too many used cars, and had to get rid of some of them quickly. It was previously a rental car, and had the full maintenance record with it. It had only 19,000 miles on it. And it was a certified used car, too, carrying a warranty and free oil changes for three years. Finally, the interest rate we were offered for financing was lower than any rate offered by other dealers, and lower than my bank could offer.

Aaron and I looked it over, my mom looked it over, we conferred with others who know more about cars and everyone thought it was a good buy. Plus, with the down payment we had, the payments were going to be under $175 a month. So late on Saturday, after spending all day between dealing with a sick toddler at home and haggling with other dealers for hours and getting nowhere near as good of a deal, we went back to this dealer and purchased the car. They gave us $500 for our dead car, and even took care of the towing. (I’m just glad they were willing to take a dead car, honestly.)

Amazingly, we managed to get through the business office in under a half hour – no high pressure sales tactics to buy extended warranties, or special insurance, or gap insurance. Which meant that we were able to attend a holiday party our friends were hosting on Saturday night.

I’m still puzzled as to how everything worked out so well in the end. Don’t get me wrong – we still must cut back on lots of luxuries in order to make payments, and our car insurance is higher, but everything is at least do-able. And most importantly, we have a new car that has plenty of room, is loaded with safety features, and should give us many years of reliable driving. Strangely enough, it all turned out well.

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And then, just when I was feeling so stressed late last week, I find out I was nominated by Kristen for her Support a Mom contest at her ClubMom blog, The Mom Trap. I was so surprised by her touching post that I burst into tears reading it. You can read her nomination here, and take a look at all of the amazing and very worthy finalists here. Thank you, Kristen – your post really made my day.

…you take them both and there you have The Facts of Life.

Sometimes life gives you lemons, and you make lemonade. But sometimes you run out of sugar, so you get just a tiny taste of the sweet, and then a lot of sour.

The good news: remember when our house was broken into back in July? There were no fingerprints, and it looked like the criminal might get away with it, except I noticed a very tiny drop of blood on the curtain that covered the window that was smashed in.

Well, we got a call from the detective on our case yesterday to let us know that curtain proved to be the key. They were able to extract DNA from that tiny blood spot, and they know who did it. They have a name (meaning the guy is a repeat offender, since the prison system already had a record of his DNA), and that person lived nearby at the time of the break-in. So now a warrant is being issued for his arrest, and they are working to track down his current location. We’ll probably never see any of our stuff again, but seeing this guy caught and locked up would at least be justice.

And now the bad: First, money has been tight this month. Very tight, as in pray-the-account-doesn’t-bounce until the next paycheck. However, this was just due to bad timing with some bills, and we figured we’d be back in a better position by the end of the month. But this is not as bad as many – all of our bills are paid every month, and we’ve been making good progress at getting rid of credit card debt, which when finished will make life much more comfortable. As I said over the summer, we’re not drowning financially by any means. More like treading water at the top, hoping for no big waves to pull us under.

And then yesterday morning a financial tsunami wave hit us. Aaron’s car left this world for its next life yesterday morning. He had the oil changed at a quickie oil-change place two weeks ago, and then two days ago the oil light came on and we noticed the car was leaking oil. Figuring they screwed up, Aaron was on his way back to the quickie place to make them fix it, when the engine gave up the ghost and stopped.

We took it to the dealer to have the problem diagnosed. They only know the problem is something wrong with the timing belt (probably due to the engine seizing), and it would cost at least $500 to take apart the engine to find out the exact problem. On the list of possible problems, few are anything but catastrophic for the car, and the cheapest possible problem would be $1300 minimum. If you saw this car, you’d know the car isn’t even worth $1300 at this point (1996 Plymouth Breeze), and any expensive fix would only be a band-aid against future problems.

So now we need a new car, and don’t even have a car that is running to trade in. Plus we have no room in the budget for a car payment. We had planned on the car not making it through 2007, and we were trying to pay off our credit card debt to free up money for a new car. But it died about 6 months too early for our liking. We also can’t simply survive on one car, because we work opposite schedules (overlapping, really) and work in different parts of town, and we don’t live near a bus route. Life is feeling rather like this at the moment.

Forgive me if you don’t hear from me for a few days. We’ve got to spend some time thinking up creative solutions out of this predicament, and go car shopping. And while this is very upsetting at the moment, I know we’ll figure out something – we’re good at being creative, and I’ve been known to squeeze blood from stones. After all, between when I left grad school and got a job, I paid for my rent and bills that month by selling Beanie Babies on eBay. (seriously!)

And in this holiday season, I also remember that there are those far worse off than us. We still have our house and heat, we still have food to eat, and we’re all in good health. In the grand scheme of things, this sucks, but it will get better eventually. We’re very lucky to have as much as we do.

But still. Damn.

As many of you know, just less than a year ago I decided to go back to school. I have a Bachelors degree, and some work towards two Masters degrees that I never finished, but now I’m starting over again for an Associates degree in Nursing.

Nursing has absolutely nothing to do with my previous schoolwork. In fact, up until I had Cordy, I had never really thought about going into nursing. When I was younger I had considered med school, but decided against it due to the length of time I’d be in school, and the crazy costs involved. But after spending four days in the postpartum unit at the hospital, I came to have a real affection for nurses and all they do. It’s always the nurses who make your stay pleasant or hellish, depending on your nurse. I had, for the most part, wonderful nurses who helped me adjust to motherhood as much as they could in those four short days.

Going back to school for this required starting nearly from the beginning again. I had most of my general ed classes taken care of thanks to my first degree, but there were a lot of prerequisite classes that I was required to take before even applying to the nursing program.

After four quarters of part-time classes, this week I completed the last two prerequisite classes, and my application for admission to the program has been submitted. One class, Patient Care Skills, was very easy for me. We covered some of the less “fun” tasks of nurses and aides, like wound care, venipuncture, and inserting catheters, but I found it all fascinating.

The other class, Organic Chemistry, was a class that I look forward to never, ever seeing again. I graduated from high school and my first university with honors, and have always been good with science classes, too, but never in my life have I encountered a class like Organic Chemistry. To make it even more difficult, I was taking the class online, without the regular help of an instructor to explain it all to me. It is because of this class that I have now shattered my perfect 4.0 GPA – I could only squeak out a mid-range B for the class. Still, at least I passed, which I had to do in order to apply for the nursing program.

Now with those classes behind me, I sit and wait for my answer. The program at this college fills up amazingly fast, so many people are often turned away during each application period. But I have confidence I’ll make it in. For those who have met all requirements, decisions about admission are made based on GPA, and on Nurse Entrance Test scores. Seeing as I have nearly a 4.0, and my NET scores were in the 90% range (50% is the minimum needed for consideration), I probably will be offered admission.

In the meantime, I’ll prepare for my winter quarter classes as if I am continuing on with the program. If I’m admitted, clinical classes wouldn’t begin until the fall quarter, so I can use the time between now and then to finish up other non-clinical required classes.

I recently had someone find their way to my blog with the Google search, “What does a mommy want for Christmas?”

It made me stop and think, because honestly, what do we want for Christmas? Of course, different moms certainly have different wish lists, so I don’t think you can group all moms into one category of Christmas gifts. And then there’s the problem of mommy self-denial. We have this habit of putting ourselves last when it comes to gifts. Go ask your own mom what she wants for Christmas, and she’ll probably say, “Oh, I can’t think of anything I’d like for myself.” She’ll give you a list of things for the house, for your father, and for the family pet before she’ll think of anything just for her.

However, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Here’s what many moms of young kids (including myself) would probably ask for, if they were being totally honest. Even if they didn’t ask for these things, they probably wouldn’t say no to them, either.

Time off – Kids, work, and a house tend to eat up all of the time a mom has. If you want her to have a special treat, give her an afternoon where she is ordered to do nothing except read, relax in a bath, or whatever it is she likes to do to unwind. Take the kids elsewhere. On those rare times when I’m alone in the house (and I mean totally alone – no child up in bed), I almost don’t know what to do with myself. I can turn the music up loud! I can eat without anyone else begging for my food! I can take a bath without a toddler knocking on the door and saying, “Come in pweeze?” And I can just relax.

Pampering – I barely have time to shower 3 days a week, much less do my hair, exfoliate, or apply a moisturizing mask to my face. A gift certificate for a spa service would be a welcome gift for many moms. Not only does it give us the first gift of time off, but we are doing something to look better and feel better about ourselves also. That’s a bonus for our guys, right? One of the best gifts I ever received from Aaron was last year on our anniversary, when he gave me three gift cards: one to get my hair cut and colored, one for a massage or facial, and one more to buy something hip from Hot Topic. A day off was included in all of that, of course. It was a very welcome, and well-planned, gift.

Assistance – I never like to ask for help, even when I know I need it. But I have a dream of someday having a maid service come to the house once a month to help with the deep cleaning. It’s a frivolous expense for us, and one we can’t afford, so we continue to split our chores and do them regularly (well, maybe not as regularly as we should). However, even the gift of one maid service visit would be an amazing gift, especially now that I’m pregnant and even less inclined to do my chores.

Food – Is the mom in your life a wine connoisseur? Find a local wine tasting and take her to it. Does she like chocolates? Get her some of the best chocolates out there, then. As a side note, if you have thieving little hands in the house, buy a box to lock the chocolates in, too, so mom can be the only one to enjoy them. There’s nothing worse than sitting down to enjoy a special treat in the evening, only to find your special treat has been devoured by some bottomless pit.

Date nights – Truthfully, this gift is a benefit to both a mom and her husband/partner. But if mom is the one who gets to pick the restaurant, the movie (no complaints about a romantic comedy, guys), and isn’t the one required to find the babysitter, it’s a real treat. If this is a gift from another member of the family, it makes a great gift for the couple, if presented with the offer of babysitting, of course. Personally, I want to go out with my husband more, spending time together as an adult couple, instead of just parents. When we don’t get to spend time together over a long period, I feel like I’m less a wife and more a mom than anything else. And lets be honest – it was the wonderful time we had together as a couple that led to parenthood, so I’d like to keep as much of that couple-time as possible.

So there’s my list for what to get a mom for Christmas. Moms, did I miss anything?