A Love Letter To A Dog

It was just over a year ago that our family visited the local shelter for their Mingle with the Mutts event. It’s a chance to see the dogs that the shelter has for adoption, and local rescue groups are given space to bring their dogs as well.

Until that point we were strictly a cat family. Our Siamese cats acted like dogs, anyway. But the thought of adding a dog to the family had been growing, helped by professionals telling us that a dog could be good therapy for Cordy, and a good way to teach responsibility for both kids. I spent some evenings staring at Petfinder, and this one sad-eyed puppy face kept popping up on my screen with every search.

The wrinkled brow and those floppy ears got me.

It was at Mingle with the Mutts that we first met Cosmo. He was late to the party, and all four of us had already found (separate) dogs we were in love with. When we met the little pup who connected with my heart online, I thought…maybe this dog is a little too crazy for us.

Unlike some of the other puppies at the event, he was all over the place, pulling hard at the leash and trying to lick every face he could get to. His energy was tremendous. And Cordy loved him at first sight.

Places to go, people to sniff…

Even though I was concerned about his energy, and Aaron really liked another dog we saw, we arranged for Cosmo to come over for a home visit. He was still bursting with puppy energy and at that visit we learned the finer points of puppy-proofing as he sniffed out and ate three crayons while he was here. (He still has a supernatural ability to find – and eat – lost crayons.) We were convinced we wouldn’t be approved to adopt based on that incident, and there were also other families who had put in applications to adopt him.

Somehow, they thought it was a good fit and we received an email saying we were approved. Just before Christmas, our first dog joined the family and we began adjusting to life with a dog.

It hasn’t been easy. Cosmo had mastered many of his puppy manners, thank goodness – he was housebroken and crate trained and knew a few commands. But he was still a five month old puppy, and a puppy who had been found on the streets nearly starved to death. The puppy we met at 25 pounds was 40 pounds when he came to live with us and 60 pounds a month later. He’s now over 90 pounds and still considers himself a lap dog.

He’s chewed up pillows and blankets. The kids have learned that all stuffed animals and small toys must be kept off the floor or he will chew them. Despite my original plan that he wouldn’t be allowed on the furniture, he has claimed the couches and can often be found stretched out asleep on them. And he still tries to lick our faces.

But after a year, I can’t imagine life without him. He’s so patient with the kids, even if they handle him too rough occasionally. He’s helped provide a new source of love for Cordy – she can turn to him for comfort when the human world is too overwhelming, and he’s right there to accept her love.

He’s given Mira a purpose, and she happily accepts the responsibility of feeding him and letting him in and out. He even listens to Mira when she issues commands, which is impressive when you consider he’s twice her weight.

Future dog whisperer?

While I work during the day, Cosmo often sits next to me and rests his head on my arm. If anyone is down or sick, he’s right there beside them. He’s always ready for a game of fetch or a walk, and when we’re happy he absorbs that feeling and acts like that puppy we first met.

I should add that the cats have not been forgotten. They all get along relatively well. Dante, our older Siamese, is particularly fond of him.

I’ve also never had cleaner kitchen floors in my life. That dog lets no crumb remain on the floor.

Cosmo has also earned his keep as a fantastic guard dog. He barks at any outside threat (real or imagined…seriously, Cosmo, the squirrels are NOT a threat to us) and is the absolute best solution for getting door-to-door salesmen to accept “no thanks” the first time I say it.

He’s never been aggressive to any visitor to our house – he follows our cue that if we’re friendly with someone, he should be, too – but the occasional growl I hear from him when I’m nervous about a situation reassures me that if there ever was a real danger, he would try to protect us. 

Standing, er, resting guard on the couch.

He’s an absolute goof who usually wants nothing more than to please us and maybe get a few belly rubs. He can get in the way or be a bit of a punk at times, but overall his needs are so small. He asks very little from us and provides so much love in return.

After a year of having Cosmo in our lives, I can say with certainty now that I’m so happy we got a dog, and that we got this dog. I am a dog person now, and our family is better for having him with us.

I utterly love this silly mutt.

His current state as I write this.


Mothers United in Nausea

I think the entire world is now aware that there will soon be a new heir to the British throne. The royals announced earlier this week that Kate (Duchess of Cambridge, wife to Prince William) was in the hospital being treated for hyperemesis gravidarum, aka severe morning sickness.

I’m sure that’s not how they had hoped to announce the pregnancy to the world.

I feel for Kate. While I never had the severe nausea that leads to dehydration and medical care, with both of my pregnancies I experienced nausea for the first 14 weeks that I described as “24/7 sickness.” Morning sickness didn’t seem to fully describe it.

The nausea wasn’t limited to the morning. Instead, I had a constant fatigue and ill feeling that lasted every minute of the day. Food was revolting to look at, but I knew I needed to eat. When I ate small amounts of food, I felt worse, but then felt a little better afterward. But if I ate too much, I felt worse. I never vomited, even though I wished for it every day in the hopes that I might feel a little better.

I lost over 15 pounds during the first trimester of my first pregnancy from eating such a small amount. Thankfully the nausea passed around week 15 and I went on to gain back all of it plus five pounds. With Mira I lost slightly more weight and never gained beyond my starting weight. I’d call pregnancy the best diet I ever tried, but at the same time I wouldn’t wish that nausea on anyone.

When I was pregnant with Mira, my nausea forced me to tell others sooner than I had planned. I had only been at my current job for a year and didn’t want to tell them I was pregnant until the second trimester. But the morning sickness hit even faster this time. (I was so miserable I even wrote a blog post reminding me not to do this again.)

Mira at 6wks. How can something so tiny make you feel so lousy?

One day at work, after fighting through two weeks of nausea, I realized I couldn’t use the excuse of getting over a stomach bug forever. Our employer had brought in doughnuts for us that night, presented at the front desk right as I was standing there. The scent hit my nose and I immediately turned green and walked back to my office as fast as I could while my coworkers just stared at me.

I composed myself, realizing I was going to have to tell someone soon. As I walked back into the hallway, I saw the office manager standing there with her eyes closed breathing in and out slowly. “Are you OK?” I asked.

She opened her eyes in shock, unaware that I was there. At that point, she confessed that the smell of the doughnuts made her sick because she was pregnant. She didn’t want to tell anyone yet, but couldn’t take it anymore. I laughed at that point and shared that I was pregnant, too. With that secret out of the bag, we shared our hard candies and ginger ale and were miserable together.

I guess the one positive of morning sickness is that mothers can bond and sympathize together over the shared experience of toughing it out, whether you just felt a little queasy now and then or needed IV fluids and Zofran. Many are lucky to not experience the severe effects of hyperemesis gravidarum, but we understand the nausea, even if it’s not as serious for us. It’s a wretched and agonizing feeling, but we get through it and think about the reward at the end.

I hope this new royal baby gives Kate a little relief soon so she can enjoy the remainder of her pregnancy. Because beyond the nausea (and later back pain), there are some fun moments to enjoy before the baby arrives.



Thankful for Seven Years

It was seven years ago on this day that I created a blog on Blogger and typed out my first post as A Mommy Story. It was definitely nothing for the memory books, just a “hey, I’m here!” post, my first time with a fully public blog after spending a few years with a LiveJournal account that was semi-private.

I’m still here. Things have changed dramatically from where they were seven years ago, but I still keep coming back here and writing my thoughts when I get the chance.

Seven years ago I was a first time mom with a 14 month old who was my world. I was still caught up in the honeymoon of parenting, still swooning over all the firsts and panicked over every little detail that could affect her health, safety and happiness.

Blogs at the time were my source of commiseration and education – I found others who shared similar parenting philosophies, those who were in the same stage that I was, and those who were beyond my stage but were models to aspire to. After commenting on many blogs, I decided it was time to start my own, to share my stories in my space going forward that might help or inspire others. Or maybe just make them laugh every now and then, sometimes not intentionally.

Now, of course, I’m a more…ummm…seasoned mother. The story has changed through the years, and my available time has diminished, but I’m still here. I couldn’t imaging stepping away and cutting myself off from the friends and community I’ve found through this blog. 

So today, on my seven year blogiversary (it’s totally a real word), and also being Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for all of the people who have shared this space with me. Thank you for reading, for sharing your thoughts in return, for the occasional emails, and for sticking with me even when the story goes through a slow period. Thank you for being so friendly and kind when we’ve had the chance to meet in person, for helping me when I’ve reached out to some of you for help or advice, and for looking past my flaws and my serious lack of attention.

I’m also so thankful for all of the opportunities this blog has given me. Without my little corner of the internet, I never would have been on local TV a few times, never would have worked for Disney for a little over a year, never would have traveled to so many cities for conferences, never would have walked in a fashion show, never would have fallen into the amazing job I have now, and I would have been completely lost when Cordy was diagnosed with autism.

Most importantly, this blog has helped introduce me to so many amazing people, both via our blogs and in person, some of whom I’m honored to call friends.

So happy Thanksgiving everyone, and thank you for being a part of my life via this little blog. Today I’m thankful for these seven years and for all of you.

Except spammers. I’m not so thankful for you. Although the latest spam comment of “Hello, all is going nicely here and of course every one is sharing information, that’s in fact excellent, keep up writing.” kinda makes me feel all warm inside, in a bad-grammar-compliment kind of way.

Here’s to another seven years. That is, in fact, excellent.



Wedding Ring Panic Attack

Last night was a fairly normal night of putting the kids to bed and then coming back downstairs to get a little more work done and watch TV.

About half an hour into our child-free time, I suddenly realized something was missing. My left thumb reached across my palm to brush my ring finger, like I do absentmindedly several times a day to adjust my wedding ring, only to realize there was no ring to play with.

Looking down at my hand, I could see it was bare. Where did my ring go?

I’ve been complaining for months that I needed my wedding ring resized. I had to make it larger several years ago to continue wearing it through extra weight and pregnancies. But since losing weight my ring has lost that snug fit, going from tight to comfortable to seeing light between finger and ring.

The ring has far more personal meaning to it than monetary value. We were young and just starting out when we were married, so the rings we selected were nice, but inexpensive. I thought I might upgrade it someday to something a little more fancy,  but this wasn’t the way I wanted to go about doing so.

At first I figured it must have slipped off as I sat on the couch. So I casually started reaching down into the couch cushions to feel for the smooth metal band. Nothing. I then told Aaron that I had lost it as I stood up and began checking my pockets and the floor around me.

We tore apart the couch looking for it as I tried to mentally retrace my steps. I knew it was on earlier in the day, and the backyard was as far as I had gone that day, so at least it had to be somewhere in the house or yard.

I searched the dining room table and kitchen counters before continuing to progress backwards through my evening. I had tucked Mira in and reached under her to give her a hug – maybe it slipped off then? I was like a jewel thief in her room, carefully reaching under her pillow and blankets, trying to not wake the recently asleep child. No good.

And then I heard Aaron say “Found it!” He was in Cordy’s room, where earlier I was straightening out her comforter before bed. The ring had somehow come off as I was smoothing out her sheets.

Whew.

That was a wake up call to get the ring resized, though. So today we went to a jewelers and handed over my wedding ring – a ring I never take off – to be made smaller. It was a size 7. It will now be a size 5.5. Even my pinky wasn’t that small when I was younger – how is it I’m losing more weight from my fingers than anywhere else?

I’m hoping to have my ring back just before Thanksgiving. But I admit I feel naked without it.

naked hand

It’s the one piece of jewelry I always have on, and the one with the most significance. I keep having moments of panic, wondering where it went, before I remember that it’s with the jeweler. At least when it returns it’ll be much smaller, with less risk of it going astray.

Do other people feel naked without their wedding rings (or other important piece of jewelry or accessory), or am I the oddball? Have you ever lost something of significant personal value by accident?



Birthday Weekend Extravaganza

I probably should have written a post on Friday, but I was still too in shock over the realization that I was now the mother of an eight year old. Cordy’s birthday was Friday and I spent the early morning just staring at her and wondering where all of the time went.

You mean she’s not a baby anymore?

Eight feels so much more grown up than seven. She’s crossing that threshold into big kid now (I can’t even think of the word tween yet) which is both exciting and frightening. Cordy gained so many new skills in the past year and pushes for more independence, but at the same time she’s still so very innocent and unsure of the world.

We didn’t have an official party for her this year. She doesn’t really like parties. Besides, we had a big reunion of friends to attend on Saturday – including several kids she’s friends with – so we were happy to combine occasions and just bring a cake with us to the gathering. Then on Sunday we had family visiting, so Cordy had the chance to celebrate her birthday with them, too.

Instead of one day of celebrating, it turned into a weekend-long birthday extravaganza.

On Friday, after she received a few presents from us, we took her out to dinner at her favorite restaurant with her uncle and aunt. As we sat down and the server handed us menus, Cordy got her attention and brightly exclaimed, “Hi, it’s my birthday today, but please don’t sing to me!” She has never liked people singing to her – it’s a sensory issue she’s had since she was young. Singing to her usually results in her hiding under a table for awhile.

Thankfully, the server understood, and when the meal was done she quietly slipped Cordy a hot fudge sundae and a balloon with no crowd of servers to sing at her. And so dinner ended with everyone happy and Cordy still in her seat and not under the table.

On Saturday we made the drive up to northern Ohio to spend the day with friends. The house we go to is just outside of a small town, with lots of backyard to run and play in. What started as a semi-warm, sunny day quickly turned into rain for over an hour. After it stopped, the kids quickly ran outside again, ignoring the drop in temperature. (How do their small bodies keep from freezing?) It wasn’t long before we were all being ordered by the kids to come outside and see the amazing sky.

The kids were right:

You could see both ends of the rainbow.

Completely unedited photos shot with my iPhone.

As we marveled at the most beautiful rainbow I’ve ever seen, Cordy ran to me and said, “Look, mommy! The sky gave me a rainbow for my birthday! That’s such a nice gift!” She was right, it was a lovely gift.

On Sunday the festivities continued. Aaron took Cordy and Mira to Chuck E Cheese for an early lunch (another request from Cordy) while I straightened up the house. They came home just as family arrived to spend time with Cordy, and different family members cycled through as the day went on.

As much as she wanted her birthday to last forever, Cordy was also showing signs of overload by mid-day. She spent much of the late afternoon in the dining room working in one of her new workbooks while everyone else was in the living room, and later went to her room to be alone for a bit. I was able to coax her back down before dinner, though.

By 8:30pm, the house was finally quiet again. And I was exhausted. I’m still exhausted. It was great to see friends and family this weekend, but I’m looking forward to spending much of the next few days working by myself.

But Cordy had a great birthday, and that’s what matters the most. Happy birthday to the warrior princess!

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