Not Your Typical Milestone

Thanks to the broken tooth, Cordy had to break her string of only visiting the doctor once a year in order to get a pre-surgery physical. I’ll admit that I was nervous, expecting a meltdown or at least a lot of non-compliance from my doctor-phobic daughter. She’s never liked going to the doctor, and has never let them do a full exam without a lot of screaming and being held down. We still don’t know her blood pressure, as a cuff has never made it around her arm yet.

But yesterday was a new milestone. She was mostly agreeable. When the nurse asked her to step on the scale, she did it without argument – a task she refused to do at the hospital over a week ago. I’d like to think that part of it was my different approach this time: instead of asking her to see how big she was (which she always replies “I’m four and a half big!”), I instead told her to step on the scale so we could make number appear. Ah-ha! Appeal to her love of numbers! Why didn’t I think of that before?

After the scale was out of the way, and my eyes came back into my head after seeing she weighs 50 lbs. (before you think it, she’s not fat. 50 lbs is reasonable for a 4 year old who is getting very close to 4 ft. tall), we then went into an exam room. The nurse wanted to get Cordy’s pulse, but Cordy did not like this woman touching her wrist and holding it for a long period of time. We tried asking Cordy to count to 15, count the fish painted on the wall, etc., but we never got past 8 seconds. The nurse gave up at that point.

When Cordy and I were alone in the room, she scanned the room quickly and found a magnetic drawing board. Suddenly she was happy as she drew pictures of grandma, complete with her trademark circled X, H, and an outline of her hand. We didn’t wait long before the doctor came in.

This was our first time seeing this doctor, so I didn’t know what to expect. But she was soft spoken, young, and seemed to understand Cordy well. She asked me several questions first, not directly confronting Cordy so that Cordy could get used to her in the room. Then she started off with simple questions for Cordy, asking what she was drawing, how old she was, does she have a sister, etc.

When it came time for the exam, I was prepared for the worst. However, Cordy willingly let the doctor put her stethoscope on her chest and back, even taking deep breaths when asked. She opened her mouth and said “Ah” on command, and didn’t complain too much when the doctor looked in her ears. She even laid down when asked so the doctor could feel her belly. I sat there the entire time, grinning like a fool in amazement, and at the end told the doctor that this was the first time Cordy has ever let someone examine her willingly. She was pleased to hear that.

The verdict: Cordy is fit for surgery. Other than low muscle tone (which we already knew about, and seems to be common in kids with autism spectrum disorders), Cordy has no medical issues.

I was so thrilled with Cordy’s performance, I agreed to get ice cream afterward. The two of us enjoyed our ice cream together, until about half-way through when Cordy bit down into an M&M and got that worried look on her face. “Does your tooth hurt?” I asked her.

“No, it’s OK!” she tried to reassure me, but the worried look remained.

“Your tooth hurts, doesn’t it? It’s OK, you can be honest.”

She shook her head yes for a moment, then shook it no. “No, my tooth is OK. It doesn’t hurt. But can you pick out the M&Ms from my ice cream, mommy?”

So her tooth still hurts. Next week is her surgery.



Haiku Friday: Counting

A surprise talent:
Mira can count to fourteen
Where did she learn that?

Although she is hard to
understand, the numbers are
clearly there for her

My only guess is
she is watching TV more
closely than I thought

Mira has apparently known how to count for awhile, but didn’t feel the need to share it with us. But when walking down the stairs the other day, she counted each step, going all the way to 14 without prompting. We were stunned – who taught her to count? I’ve done a little bit of counting with her in the past, but nothing more than 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. And then I hear aaaaii (8), niiiii (9), ehn! (10), eeeveeen (11).

She must have had pity on her poor dumb mother, enduring my elementary lesson while already mastering the intermediate levels. I can only guess that she’s paying close attention to Sesame Street and Noggin each day.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!



Last Day of School

Today was Cordy’s last day of preschool.

After typing that last sentence, it took me 15 minutes to continue this post. I just kept staring at that sentence and thinking about all it means.

Cordy began preschool right after she turned three years old. After traumatizing evaluations, she was determined to be “special-needs” and placed in a special needs preschool class right away. I remember first meeting her teacher and thinking she seemed very nice, but I worried that there was no way she could control my wild Amazon. Her teacher took one look at her and said, “Oh, she’ll love me. I guarantee it.”

And school did not start well. Cordy hated going. Each day I would take her to her classroom, and they would have to pull her off of me so I could leave. Her screams echoed down the hall as I left, and I tried not to cry, reminding myself this was what was best for her. At that time, she didn’t engage her classmates, she paid no attention to what was going on in the room, and she refused to let anyone touch her. Asking her to do something she was afraid of resulted in a meltdown. She was still in diapers, too.

Her first school photo was a success only after her teacher spent an hour trying to coax her into the room, and even then she looked scared to death. But ever so slowly, changes appeared. She didn’t cry and scream when I dropped her off in the morning. She had better progress reports from school (even if the physical therapist still wasn’t happy with her) and her teacher told me that she was starting to fingerpaint! Like, with real paint on her fingers! And without collapsing into a puddle of tantrum on the floor!

Near the end of the first year, Cordy came home one day with her hair in a ponytail. Aaron and I were stunned. Cordy never let anyone touch her hair, yet now she was sporting a ponytail. I didn’t see any blood under her nails, so I assumed she let her teacher play with her hair.

Summer break was difficult. Cordy missed her teacher and she didn’t like the summer school program for special needs children. Much of the progress of the school year faded away during the summer. But she was going back to her same teacher and classroom in the fall, so I had something to look forward to.

This school year has been amazing. On her first day, she was excited to go back to school, unlike her first day a year before. After a few months, she started talking about her friends at school – friends!! My heart nearly burst at the thought of her finally interacting with other kids! Her teacher reported that she was starting to go with her classmates to the bathroom now, although she still wouldn’t use the potty. That wouldn’t happen until February.

We noticed that she came home many days with ponytails. Sometimes pigtails. By spring break she occasionally came home with her hair french braided. Her school photo? While it still took some coaxing, she looked more relaxed this year.

In two years of preschool, Cordy has become a new person. She’s spun that cocoon and broken out to reveal the beautiful butterfly that she is meant to be. That confused, angry, sensitive child that started in 2007 has been taught how to deal with the crushing sensory experiences life throws at her. She’s learned that she doesn’t need to always react to new situations with fear. Other children are in her line of sight now, all possible new friends to her.

Don’t get me wrong – she still has a long way to go, too. Cordy has little ability to focus on a task for more than a minute. Even with learning to cope, the world is still scary to her and her senses are easily overwhelmed. She may see other kids now, but she has a lot of trouble trying to hold a conversation.

And like her teacher predicted in 2007, Cordy adores her. When we dropped some gifts off for her teacher today, Cordy gave her a big hug and told her, “I love you, Miss W!” Tears were shed over the end of the year, and phone numbers were exchanged so we could be in touch this summer.

Because with the end of this school year, a big change is looming ahead of us. She’s too old to return to preschool and her beloved teacher. She’s eligible for kindergarten, but Aaron and I, along with Cordy’s teacher and therapists, all agree that she’s not ready for kindergarten yet. At this point she’d be eaten alive by the other kids, and after she was bullied at the mall earlier this year, I don’t think I can endure that yet.

Instead, her teacher pulled some strings to get her placed at one of the best special needs Pre-K programs in the school district next year. It’s an all-day program, unlike her preschool class, and the teacher is one that Cordy’s current teacher highly respects and recommends. There will be a strong emphasis on academics as well as the social skills she’ll need to survive kindergarten.

But we’ll miss her teacher. Miss W is a part of Cordy’s success, and I wish we could take her with us.



Haiku Friday: Comparisons

I know it’s bad to
compare your children but I
can’t help it at times

Mira often wears
Cordy’s hand-me-downs and I
like the differences

This week’s outfit? A
dress Cordy wore years ago
Now it’s Mira sized:

(click for a larger pic)

I know it’s an obsession, and every special outfit that once belonged to Cordy is likely to be photographed on Mira, but I can’t help myself. I love seeing how my two daughters are so different, and yet so similar in many ways. Cordy looks more like me, Mira more like Aaron. Cordy was built solid at 21 months, with toddler tree trunk legs and large through her torso. (Amazon warrior princess, remember?) Mira is more slender while still having the toddler belly. She has far less hair than Cordy had at that age.

Yet the two of them squint their eyes the same, they have dimples in the same places. Mira’s hair is starting to show the same curls as Cordy’s. Both are taller than the average for their ages, and both are now Amazon warrior princesses.

Putting them side by side like this really amazes me, both to remember how Cordy once was, and to see how fast Mira is following her sister in growing up. It’s all too fast. I want them to stay little forever.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!



"Early" Intervention

It’s been six months now since we took Mira to a Help Me Grow screening for her speech issues. At that point, they ordered a full evaluation, which was done in December. While thankfully Mira shows no signs of autism, she was diagnosed with a speech delay, and recommended for speech therapy right away.

We had a few choices for therapy, including taking her to center for speech therapy, having someone come to the house for therapy, or enrolling her in the early intervention school. Our case worker advised us that the first option was likely to take the least amount of time, with the average waiting period being six to eight weeks. Wanting to get Mira started as soon as possible, we chose the first option.

Fast forward to April.

We still haven’t received a call about a spot for her in therapy. Well, that’s not quite true – we did receive a message in February about a spot, but when we called back they told us there was no spot and seemed puzzled as to why we thought there was a spot for her. Hmmm…

Mid-April, our case worker checked in, and we told her we were still waiting. She made some calls, and soon we had a spot for the end of the month. We took the appointment without argument – the good thing about being unemployed at the moment is we can rearrange our schedules if needed.

Aaron took Mira to the appointment that day, and later in the evening told me about how it went. The therapist evaluated her to figure out a starting point, gave Aaron some exercises to do at home, and sent them on their way. No follow up appointment, because they had none available. Turns out, they fit her into a single empty space, with no chance at further appointments in the near future. The therapist also seemed unconcerned with Mira’s speech.

The exercises we were given are things we already do. We name any item we give to her, we encourage her to repeat words back to us, and of course we talk to her. (Seriously, “talk to her more” was one of the handwritten helpful hints. Like we’re locking her in a closet all day by herself.)

I make the poor kid talk to me all day. I try over-enunciating words, exaggerating my face to show her how to make sounds. She has to try to say a word before I’ll give her the object. And all that comes out of her mouth are vowel sounds and the occasional n sound.

(She showed me she could count for the first time today, too. As she handed me cups, she solemnly pronounced “oooon, ooooo, eeee, ooouh, iiiiieh.” Good thing I’m learning to speak Mira-ese, or in her language, Iiiaaah-eee.)

I understand the system is likely overworked and understaffed. But I feel like Mira is falling through the cracks. When Cordy went to her early intervention screenings, she was immediately transferred to the school system because she was almost three. And the school system has done an excellent job. At her recent evaluation, I was praised for getting Cordy help at an early age, and told it was evident how well she’s responding to therapy.

Mira will be two soon – she has another year to go before the school system could pick up her case. Six months is already a long time to go with no progress – another year could now go down the drain. Mira is supposed to get speech therapy three days a month. We’ve been told May is completely full, and June isn’t looking good, either.

I know I’m showing my neurotic, overprotective mama bear side of me. Her pediatrician said that the medical community doesn’t even care about speech delays until a child is four. But knowing that the sooner you intervene, the better the result, I’d rather be proactive. I’d rather not risk her hitting three or four years old and hearing a doctor or speech therapist say, “Oh, she really has a speech problem – why didn’t you get her help earlier?” Because then they would have to listen to the primal scream I would let loose in response to keep my head from exploding. And no one wants that.

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