My new favorite picture of Cordelia:
I still see my firstborn baby, but now I also see a beautiful girl child, discovering her own interests and beginning to find her place in the world.
Jul 13, 2007
Full Of Impish Spirit
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Jun 29, 2007
My Toddler and Her Diapers
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Thank you all for your advice on my last post. I’ve got several new brands to try now, and hopefully one will work.
Some of you asked why Cordy is not potty trained yet, or why we aren’t actively trying to potty train her if she’s wetting through diapers. I can’t tell you how many times I get variations of those questions from friends, family, and complete strangers based on her age and her size. (Let’s forget for a moment that I have a newborn, making it nearly impossible to give her the attention she needs for potty training.)
I jokingly tell people she’s just stubborn, or that she likes having servants clean up after her. She’s a real go-getter who doesn’t have time to stop for a potty break. She hopes to be an astronaut and wear those astronaut diapers all the time.
But the real truth is she simply isn’t physically ready yet. Yes, she’ll be three years old in September, and everyone I talk to has a story of how their kids were potty trained by two. Even I was potty trained by two. However, most experts say you won’t have any luck with potty training if the kid isn’t physically ready. Meaning they have to be aware of the pressure in their bladder, understand this means they need to go, and then have the physical control over the nerves and muscles needed to hold and then release urine. They should ideally be able to stay dry for three hours, and sometimes overnight. Plus a child must also be able to undress and sit on the potty.
Cordy meets very few of those physical readiness signs. She is never dry for three hours, and has never been dry overnight. She doesn’t realize when she’s peeing or pooping, and having a full diaper doesn’t bother her. I don’t think she realizes when she needs to go, either. A pediatrician once told me that kids who are big for their age (and she’s certainly tall and big) sometimes take longer to reach these physical milestones, simply because they are so big.
It’s not that we haven’t tried to get her interested in the potty. She is interested – to a point. I received a DVD called Go Potty Go to review, and it is now a favorite of hers. She watches us use the bathroom and we explain to her what is happening. (In fact, after watching Go Potty Go she now likes to walk in on me in the bathroom and remind me “wipe your bottom” – like I’d forget.) She has a potty chair and she is comfortable with it, although she likes to pull it out of the bathroom and watch TV while sitting on it. Oh, and she won’t sit on it bare-bottomed, either.
So while she has some interest, the physical readiness is not there, and that has made any tries at potty training complete failures. A few times before her bath, I’ve stripped her naked while I ran the water, and she peed while walking around, completely unaware of what she was doing. I’m still keeping an eye on her for any signs that she’s ready, and once she reaches those physical signs I’ll be ready to try again.
For now, we’ll stick to the diapers and only having juice and mashed up cheerios in our carpets. I’m not worried about her potty training by a certain age. She won’t leave for college with a stash of Huggies, I promise.
Jun 20, 2007
First Day
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I haven’t mentioned it much here, but a few weeks ago we enrolled Cordy in a daycare/preschool program for the summer. It’ll be good for her, and I need the time with only one child around. Today was her first day of school.
Cordy needed this, too. While she is an intelligent little girl, perhaps even advanced for her age, she is lacking in social skills and emotional maturity. I put some of the blame on myself for not taking more initiative in getting her out to play with other kids more often. But it’s more than that – she’s always been a loner, interested in her own world more than getting to know others.
I have actually considered having Cordy evaluated for developmental delays, but haven’t been able to fully commit to that decision. Every time I start to think she may have something wrong, she will suddenly prove me wrong. At the very least, she needs to improve in a few areas. She has trouble following another child’s suggestion of play. She lacks some basic skills, like using eating utensils or drinking out of a cup. Her speech is very good, but much of the time she’s only parroting back things she’s heard on TV. She can carry on both sides of a conversation between Dora and Boots, but can’t answer you if you ask her if she had fun today. (She will often answer any question by repeating the last word you said.)
This particular preschool has Aaron’s aunt as one of the administrators, so we know Cordy will be closely watched. And his aunt has told me that she will let us know if she thinks Cordy might have any developmental problems needing intervention. Cordy will be attending two days a week in the 2 year old room.
Today being her first day, we tried to explain what fun she was going to have, but she didn’t seem to comprehend what was coming. Here she was before we left:
We were dreading the drop-off, thinking that Cordy would freak out when we tried to leave. She was hesitant to come into the room, but the teachers took the other kids outside so she could adjust to the room on her own, and she was soon exploring the layout. Then she saw the classroom fish tank, and suddenly she was right at home. “Fish!” she exclaimed. The remaining teacher offered to let her feed the fish, and she was in heaven.
I gave her a hug, telling her I was leaving, and fully expected her to cry. But instead she hugged me and said, “Look! Fish!” “Yes, I see the fish. I’m leaving now, enjoy the fish.” And she didn’t care at all that I left.
“That was too easy,” I told Aaron as we left.
I knew it couldn’t stay that easy. You know how many people give teachers a gift at the end of the year? I wondered if we should have brought gifts for the teachers today. A gift for you, for the enormous task you are about to undertake…
I called later in the day to find out how she was doing. The teacher started out by saying, “She’s a child who prefers to do things her own way, isn’t she?” Oh hell. “Yes, yes she is,” I replied.
Turns out it was a rough morning. Cordy did very well playing outside on the playground and during swimtime, but transitions were tough. She also had trouble staying in her seat at snacktime, but then again, she’s never had to do that before. She refused to eat because she wouldn’t use a spoon or fork – they did give in and feed her a little to make sure she ate a little. She also refused to drink from her sippy at snacktime because it had water in it. Lunchtime was better, though, so hopefully she will learn quickly.
Naptime was also a little difficult because she won’t nap if others are in the room with her. Keeping her on her cot was a challenge at first, but they said she eventually complied, although she talked to herself the entire time, sometimes too loudly.
They said during free play in the classroom, she chose not to play with the other kids, but instead roam the room on her own. They’ll keep an eye on this to see if it continues, or if she’ll eventually want to play with the other kids.
There was good news, too. In the afternoon she listened to her teachers better than the morning. She handled diaper changes well. They also said she’s very smart, identifying colors and numbers and some letters. The teacher I spoke with said that for a first day, she did pretty well.
Aaron and I picked her up around 4pm. When she saw me, she jumped up out of her chair, saying “Mommy! You found me!” Then she saw Aaron and went back and forth between us, saying “Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy!” She quickly walked over to her backpack, indicating that she wanted us to get her out of there as fast as possible.
She looked a little rougher at the end of the day. More bruises on her legs, a scrape on her knee, and red, tired looking eyes. But she was happy.
Friday will probably be tougher for her. She’ll know we’re leaving her again, so drop-off may involve tears that the fish tank can’t prevent. But I think this will be a good experience for her, learning to interact in a group setting, being around kids her own age, and learning to follow rules other than our own. I hope that her social skills will blossom and any fears I have of something being wrong will vanish. And if that’s not possible, I hope this will be a good first step towards getting her what she needs to catch up to her peers.
May 23, 2007
You Can Tell We’re "Klassy" By The Mattress On The Floor
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So, uh, yeah…still here.
Remember how I thought I could be all clever and take the drop rail off the side of the crib to transition Cordy to a toddler bed? Oh sure, I thought, it’s still her crib – it’s just missing one side. She’ll adjust, right?
Yeah, well…not going so well thus far. Apparently a crib without its drop rail is, in fact, NOT the same as her crib. Two nights ago, I placed her in her room, tried to reason with her (HA!) about the coolness of her Big Girl Bed for over 20 minutes, then gave up and simply raced her to the door, managing to get out without shutting her fingers in the door. She screamed for about 2 minutes again, but then all was quiet. I figured she gave up and got in bed.
However, when Aaron went to check on her an hour later, he found she had climbed up into the rocking chair in the room and fell asleep there, slumped over holding one of her books. He moved her to the crib, where she did sleep most of the night. Around 4am she was up and moving around in her room, but she didn’t yell for us or cry, so she clearly wasn’t too traumatized.
Last night, though, was the worst yet. Twice I rocked Cordy to sleep and tried to lay her down in her bed, and both times her eyes would pop open and with lightening speed her arms and legs were wrapped around my leg. Aaron then tried twice, with the same results. He finally raced her out the door, but the screaming didn’t stop after 2 minutes like the previous nights. After 10 minutes, I went back in and comforted her, trying to place her on one of the beds, but she would not go near them.
I then spotted her little foam fold-out couch, and wrestled her down onto it, with me laying beside her. This was at least acceptable to Cordy, so we stayed there on the floor, with me right beside her patting her back, until she was asleep. I then was able to sneak out, and later Aaron came in and moved her to a bed again.
It seems we may have luck getting her to sleep if we lay down with her. The problem is, both toddler beds won’t hold our weight. Which now leads us to Phase 2 of Operation: Crib Eviction – we’re going to remove the crib entirely, and leave the mattress on the floor. She’s never liked heights, so maybe having the mattress on the floor will comfort her? And if it’s on the floor, Aaron or I will be able to lay down with her.
I’m not thrilled with the idea of her sleeping on a mattress on the floor – could be the college flashbacks it conjures up – but I’m willing to try it as another way to get her used to the idea of sleeping without bars.
May 20, 2007
What Will The Night Hold?
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Cordy loves her crib. She has a beautiful toddler bed, a Christmas gift from grandma, placed directly across from her crib, but she is still devoted to her crib. We’re at the point where she will nap in her toddler bed (on those rare days she naps), but at night she cries out for her crib and insists on being placed in her cage. I think she feels safe in the confined high bars of her crib.
We can’t wait any longer, though. While baby #2 will be in our room for the first few months, she will need a crib eventually. So today we started Phase 1 of Operation: Crib Eviction.
When Cordy goes to bed in an hour or so, this is what she will be greeted with:
We took the front rail off the crib, and added the toddler guard rail. No more confinement in her crib from here on out. Luckily, she can’t open doors yet (I know, a 2 and 3/4 year old who can’t open a door – a rarity, right?), so no worries about her getting out of her room.
So her choices at bedtime tonight will be her toddler bed…
…or her modified crib. Either way, no high rail.
I have no idea what level of hell we’re in for tonight, but I’m preparing for the worst. It could be a long night.
