A Holiday Greeting

I’ll admit it – I’m lazy. I had all of the best intentions to create and mail out Christmas and Hanukkah cards this year. I even had a picture picked out for the Christmas photo card, but it never happened.

And now, well, it’s too late to get anything in the mail. If I had actually planned ahead, people would be opening their cards in the next few days.

Thank goodness for virtual holiday picture cards.

So, to all of our friends, family, bloggy friends, (and even to the Google pervs who somehow find their way here), I’d like to wish you happy holidays. Consider this your virtual card, with all of the sentiment and none of the tree killing.

May you get everything you need, and a good bit of what you want, too.

“Hey, you’re my big sister – notice me, will ya?”
“Nah, not yet. Maybe in 2008.”


There’s Always Next Year, Right?

Last night we visited Wildlights at the Columbus Zoo. They do this every year, and we love going to see the lights, the model trains, and Santa. The challenge is always to get there at dark so we can see the lights best, but not too late, since Cordy is nearly always asleep by 7pm.

Cordy is beginning to understand the concepts of Santa and presents and Christmas this year, and to help her along we’ve been throwing every book, visual aid, and DVD at her. She now knows who Santa is, and she loves to talk about meeting him. I never imagined I’d have to force the Santa myth on my kid, going out of my way to indoctrinate her.

So naturally we talked a lot about Santa on our drive to the zoo last night. “Do you want to see Santa?” we asked her.

“Yes! We’ve got to go save Santa!” (I knew we should have laid off the Mickey Saves Santa TV episode we Tivo’d.)

“No, not save Santa, go see Santa. Will you give him a big hug?”

“Yes!”

“Will you sit on his lap and tell him what you want for Christmas?”

“Yes! A magic wand!” (Not sure why, but that’s all she wants for Christmas. We’re still trying to figure out if she means a fairy-type magic wand or a magician-type magic wand.)

Now, she has yet to ever enjoy seeing Santa. Each year’s pictures show an unhappy Cordy next to a very patient Santa. Let’s review, shall we?

The only reason she’s smiling is because I’m there and she’s not looking at Santa. She’s still plotting her escape. (Can you tell I didn’t plan on being in the pic?)
Actively trying to escape.

But this is the first year she understands who he is and now he’s like some rockstar with his present-bestowing abilities.

We loaded up the stroller and made a beeline for Santa when we got to the zoo. Better to get there before the crowds, in case Cordy needs time to warm up to Santa. We walked into the building, and there he was, surrounded by giant candy canes and greenery. Cordy was practically buzzing with excitement. I let her out of the stroller and took her hand as she dragged me into the line.

Waiting was tough. There were only three families in front of us, but Cordy wanted to be there! with Santa! NOW! I held her back as she kept trying to run up the ramp, yelling “Look, it’s Santa! And candy canes!” We were roughly six steps away from Santa, and that distance was killing her.

The elf standing guard at the head of the line smiled at her enthusiasm. “I think she’s the first one tonight to be excited to see Santa!” she laughed.

“Wait and see,” I replied with the sage wisdom of a parent.

Finally, it was our turn. I released my grip on her and said, “OK, go see Santa!”

She took off up the ramp, then about two steps from Santa stopped cold. And wouldn’t budge an inch closer to the fat man.

Or look at him.

Or breathe.

She was a statue of a child. I think she was trying to blend in with her surroundings.

I looked back and gave the elf an I told you so smile.

“Go see Santa,” I urged, and tried to nudge her gently towards him. “You’ve been wanting to meet him and hug him, remember?”

She gave him a quick, corner of her eye glance. “NOOOOOO!” she cried and ran down the exit ramp, away from her rockstar hero. She wouldn’t come back towards him, although she did try to steal one of his giant decorative candy canes before she left.

Ah well. At least we got a picture with Mira.

She’s not impressed. Next year, she’ll be screaming, too.


Helmet-Head

Last week at Cordy’s preschool, the physical therapist pulled me aside when we arrived. She wanted to talk with me about Cordy’s safety at school.

“I worry about her violent outbursts where she sometimes hits her head on the floor,” she explained. The week prior, the PT had tried to do an evaluation on Cordy by taking her out of the classroom into the hallway. Of course, in doing so, she triggered a major meltdown in Cordy, complete with screaming and head banging. Cordy barely knows, and therefore barely trusts, the PT so of course she was going to have a problem leaving the teacher she knows well.

“Well, she’s had a lot fewer meltdowns in the past month than before,” I offered, “She rarely hits her head anymore.”

The PT crossed her arms and sighed. “I’d like to recommend that she wear a helmet at all times when she’s at school.”

I must have looked like a dazed large mouth bass after she said that, because she followed it up with, “It’s for her safety. I’m surprised she hasn’t had a concussion yet.”

I’m sure I must have given her my best “what drug are you on?” look, but she continued describing about the types of soft foam helmets they have for kids.

“While she’s hit her head many, many times,” I interjected, “she’s never had any problems as a result. Not even any swelling.”

“But she doesn’t seem to register any pain when she does it, and that’s troubling because she has no reason to stop. She’s clearly learned that she can get attention by doing this.”

Wait one damn minute – did she just imply that we have encouraged this? At this point I was seething.

My voice changed slightly from an accommodating willing-to-hear-you-out one to a you-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about voice. “We have never encouraged her to hit her head. When she does it, we walk away or ignore it. And I think a helmet is more trouble than it’s worth. She hates having her head even touched – how do you think she’ll react to a helmet? It’ll send her into a fury and she’ll freak out until she can tear it off.”

I didn’t even mention my other concerns with a helmet. First, we’re sending her to this preschool so she can learn the skills needed to blend in with your average kid. Wearing a big stupid helmet will only alienate her and make her an easy target.

Also, wearing a helmet would, in a way, be reinforcing her behavior by sending the message that we expect her to hit her head, and therefore we’re protecting it in advance.

She still didn’t give up. “I’m just asking you to think about it. Yes, she may not like it at first, but I think it would be in her best interests to consider a helmet.”

What I wanted to say was: “Maybe instead you should learn there’s more than one way to do things, and find a way to get what you want from her without sending her into a meltdown. It’s called compromise, and even children should be given that consideration.”

Instead, I simply wanted out of the conversation, so I ended with, “I’ll speak with my husband about it, but I don’t think it’s likely he’ll want to pursue that option.”

Thinking I was free, I turned my attention to Cordy for a moment, only to hear the PT then say, “Also, have you thought about genetic testing for her?”

WTF?

“For what?”

“Well, there’s several syndromes that can have similar symptoms to autism.”

“OK…like what?”

“Oh, well, it’s not my place to diagnose that. But there are several she could be tested for.”

Again…WTF?

Seriously? She wants me to take Cordy to the pediatrician and say, “I’d like to have her genetically tested. For what? Oh, I don’t know, go ahead and test for everything, just to know.” They’d think I was crazy.

I walked out of the classroom muttering, “Oh for Chrissakes…”

Cordy’s teacher had told me before this conversation that it seemed that Cordy and the PT didn’t get along very well. We all have someone we don’t get along with, but can’t figure out why. There’s nothing wrong with personality conflicts – they happen, and you either avoid the person or work through it.

Of course, I’m not thrilled with the PT much right now either. A helmet? For real? And genetic testing? I’ll agree that it might be dangerous for a child with no real fear of pain to hit her head on the floor. But Cordy has been doing soooo much better lately that it hasn’t even concerned me.

Her teacher is so proud of how far she’s come so quickly. I can count on one hand the number of major meltdowns she’s had in the past month. Seriously, less than 5. Before we started her in this preschool, the number would have been more than 5 for a single week. It’s huge progress.

Just to make sure this isn’t just my protective Mother-Bear instinct kicking in (because really, I don’t want to be one of those parents who thinks her kid is flawless), I’ve been checking with others to make sure I’m not overreacting. Aaron immediately got angry and said no-way to a helmet. Of course, he’s the other parent, so his reaction is also biased. So I asked Cordy’s pediatrician, who said it would do more harm since Cordy’s head is so sensitive.

Am I crazy for getting so upset over the idea of a helmet? The PT has had only one major meltdown from Cordy, and she’s already suggesting a helmet. I just think there are other ways to deal with the issue than slap a big foam helmet on her head.

Edited to add: I wanted to add that I don’t think the PT is mean. She seems like a very nice woman, with years of experience. I just think there might be a personality conflict between her and Cordy, which makes it difficult for them to work together.



The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly on a Sunday Night

The Good: At the Hanukkah gathering for Aaron’s family last night, Cordy got lots of great presents, including musical instruments. These included a set of maracas, a tambourine, and a triangle. She loves musical instruments, and went nuts with these new noise makers.

The Bad: Did I mention they make noise? Lots of noise? But she loves them, and I want to encourage a love of music, right?

The Ugly: “Take the instruments to bed, mommy? Carry them to my bed?” I can’t say no – I mean, she was so good at the family gathering, so I can’t refuse this little request.

Then, at 4am: DING! DING! RATTLE RATTLE RATTLE! CLINK-a CLINK-a CLINK!

Ugh.

***************

PS – New reviews up over at Mommy’s Must Haves. See my reviews of a cool reading light for the car, and the ultimate family calendar/organziation system!



Haiku Friday: School Pictures


Her first school picture
Takes an hour to make her sit
So very Cordy

I knew in advance that picture day didn’t go well at school. Her teacher told me that it took nearly an hour to get her into the picture room, and even then she didn’t want to get near the flash and the camera. To make it even better, she had split her bottom lip that morning, too.

Cordy used to love getting her picture taken at photo studios as a baby. Proof? OK, if you insist:


See? I told you she loved the camera. But since the summer before she turned two, photo studios have scared her terribly, and after the last attempt at two years old, we haven’t tried taking her back. Her sensory issues have only become worse since then – I can’t imagine she would be able to sit for an entire photo session.

So I wasn’t surprised to find this as her first preschool picture:


A slightly scared, cautiously curious, partially pissed-off look. Yep, that’s my girl. And while at first I was a little disappointed that we didn’t get a smile from her, after looking at it more, I love it. It is a photographic representation of everything that has been going on with her in the past year, and it tells so much. It shows the work the teachers put in to convince Cordy to trust them, letting them bring her into the room. It shows her courage to eventually deal with the stress of the bright, flashing light.

I can’t wait to give this picture to the grandparents.

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So flex those mental muscles and join Jennifer and I for Haiku Fridays!

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