Out Of Town For A Few Days

I’m currently sitting in the airport waiting for my (delayed) flight to New Jersey. Have I mentioned how much I hate flying? It took me weeks to build up the nerve to get on the plane that took me to BlogHer 06, and I still wish I could apologize to the poor businessman sitting next to me on the first flight. Sorry, dude, I really didn’t mean to grab your arm with a death grip when we took off. And you probably didn’t enjoy watching me take deep breaths to keep from hyperventilating.

So now I’m trying to mentally prep myself for this flight, too. I tried getting a prescription for Xanax this week, but our insurance requires we call for pre-authorization for any behavioral health issue. As you can expect, the counselor on the phone wanted to talk about my feelings and what the underlying issues could be to cause my anxiety and avoid the fact that I just need a damn Xanax! He suggested a psychologist, and I told him forget it because I was flying in a week.

But I think I’ll have a blast once I get there. I’ll be meeting up with lots of other bloggers for three days of fun. Even if the event isn’t fun, we’ll still find ways to make it interesting. I’ll be posting updates over at Mommy’s Must Haves because this is a sponsored trip.

In the meantime, say a little prayer for a safe flight today. And say a little prayer for Aaron, too, who is valiantly on his own with our two little monsters daughters. I’m glad to get a break, but I know I’ll miss all of them very much.



You Asked, I Answered, Part II

See? I told you I didn’t forget about the second half of the questions. It just took me forever to write this long, long post and find/scan the photos. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

Karen asked: Maybe this is in your archives, but how did you meet your husband?

Aaron and I met in 1998, right after I had graduated from college. At the time, I spent weekends in the summer and fall working at the Ohio Renaissance Festival. Sounds geeky, I know, and it was. I was a lady of the Queen’s court, which meant I had the privilege of wearing a couch. Seriously – 30+ pounds of upholstery velvet, jewelry, hoop skirt…and did I mention that many early fall days in Ohio reach 90 degrees?

Anyway, Aaron was hired that year, and placed in the Queen’s court as a guard. That’s how we met. Near the end of rehearsals in August, I had been “dismissed” by another performer that I was interested in. He and I were a bit of an item, but I refused to sleep with him right away, and he didn’t feel like waiting around. That night, I was a little pissed off, and Aaron and other friends invited me to come out to dinner with them and rant. And it was that night that Aaron and I realized we were interested in each other. (So, thanks for being an asshole, Justin! Aaron and I appreciate it!)

Let’s keep going with questions about my past. Kgirl asked: so, did you really have a perm in seventh grade?

Oh yes, I did – three in fact. I had stick straight hair, and the first perm fell out in 24 hours. So I sat through another, and it fell out two days later. So for the third try, my stylist decided to cut my hair a little shorter, so there wouldn’t be so much weight on the curls. Now, we all know that when you curl hair, it gets shorter. And since she cut a few inches off my hair, it got even shorter with the perm. Essentially, I looked like little orphan Annie, with tight curls sprouting straight out from my head. It was hideous. I tried to find a picture of this, but apparently I burned every picture from that year. By eighth grade, it had grown out enough to be somewhat acceptable, thank goodness. Here is how it looked after a year of growth:

This was really the only picture I could find.

And kgirl had one other question: if there is one trait of yours that you hope your girls DON’T inherit, what is it?

I would hope they don’t inherit my complete naiveté. When I was younger, I believed almost anything that people told me. I always thought the best of people, even after they had wronged me. That led to a lot of disappointment and hurt. While I don’t want them to be complete cynics, I do want them to be critical thinkers who won’t believe everything they’re told. It’s taken me a long time to realize I can’t trust everyone, and I’d want to spare them the hurt I went through.

Next up is Vanda, who has a question and a followup question: How old were you when you got your first boy kiss? What was his name and how old was he?

It was the summer after my freshman year of high school, and I was 14. His name was Tim, and he was my first boyfriend. He was a year older than me. We had been “dating” (I use quotes there because really, we were too young to go on a date) for a couple of weeks already. It was time for me to go home that day, and he walked me to the end of the street. His little sister was tagging along behind us, saying “Kiss her already! Do it!” It was the fastest peck on the lips in the history of kissing. I was recently told that he has a wonderful boyfriend now. I’m not surprised.

Let’s move on now to Sarah, who also has two questions: What is the most embarrassing concert you have ever been to?

Um, New Kids on the Block. Twice. ‘Nuff said. I’m even more embarrassed to admit that I’m curious about their reunion tour.

Where were you when you lost your virginity?

At my home when I was 16, in my living room. It was…awkward. And not that exciting, to be honest.

And once again, you can hear the collective sound of my family clicking away from this post as fast as possible. Didn’t learn your lesson last time, did you? OK, let’s get back to the music topic. I’ve already admitted my love for NKOTB, so it can’t be worse than that, right?

Mamma Loves asked, Is there a song that brings your mind back to your first true love? What song is it?

Well, true love is such a tough thing to define. I mean, my boyfriend from the above question and I had “our song” but I wouldn’t call him a “true love”. The song was A Whole New World from Aladdin. I think that was one of the first movies we saw together, and I guess I still think of him when I hear that song, which makes showing that movie to Cordy a little weird. The song that always makes me remember my wedding is Come What May from Moulin Rouge. Aaron and I used that for our first dance. Love that song.

Continuing the music theme, Motherbumper asked, Who was your favorite band/musician going into Junior High and who was your favorite leaving High School? Tells a lot about the formative years.

Well, I’ve already admitted to my New Kids obsession, which lasted through most of junior high. I really can’t remember my absolute favorite from high school. Some of the bands/musicians I remember liking: Bryan Adams, Madonna, the Cranberries, Boyz II Men, U2 and Red Hot Chile Peppers. I’ll also admit to liking Mariah Carey and Meatloaf. What does that say about me? I guess I have a very wide range of taste in music.

Next up is Anne, who wondered, Speaking of high school… were you in a certain clique? (preppies, head-bangers, punks, geeks, etc.) Love or hate high school?

I was a geek. Plain and simple. But in my school, geeks really weren’t their own clique. Many of the smart kids were also athletes, and I wasn’t. So I wasn’t really a part of any group – I wanted to be a preppie kid, but couldn’t afford the right clothes and really didn’t like spending hours on my hair and makeup. As for if I liked high school, I will share with you the thought that flashed in my head as I crossed the stage to accept my high school diploma: “Its all over now, and I’m outta here!” Getting out of high school was one of the best things to ever happen to me. The teachers were great, but I don’t miss the insane, closed-minded social networks of high school.

I don’t know about you, but I need a little break from memory lane. Let’s take some questions about the here and now. Karen Sugarpants wanted to know: What do you do for YOU? You’re such a busy mom, I wonder what you do for yourself?

Well…not a lot. I mean, I have a little time in the evening to watch TV, and I loves me some American Idol right now. I’m also a big fan of House, Bones, and Torchwood. I also like to knit and sew when I find the time. (If I can commit to it, Mira will have an adorable knit dress for summer.) I also have a once a month moms night out group that I do dinner with. But what do I like to do the most for me? Sleep and shop.

Next up, Mommy Says asked: If I had one question, I’d ask what was the biggest dream you’ve had, that has not come true for you?

When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut. But I’m scared of flying, so that really doesn’t work, does it? I’m pretty lucky in that I have most of the things I want in life: a house, two beautiful (if occasionally annoying) daughters, a husband who really understands me, and a supportive family. Sure, I dream of someday having enough money to never worry about it on a weekly basis, but I think that day will come eventually.

Fishygirl asked: Are you risk averse or an adrenaline junkie? What’s the riskiest thing you’ve ever done in your life?

I’m somewhere in-between, leaning more towards the risk averse side. I used to lean more towards adrenaline junkie, but having kids has mellowed me out and made me realize I need to take care of myself to be there for them. My riskiest thing I’ve ever done is a toss-up. I’ve gone white-water rafting down a river that has claimed several lives. I’ve hitchhiked in the Scottish highlands, but that’s considered pretty safe there.

I’d say the riskiest thing I’ve ever done was willingly joined in on a mob scene in London. It was the Euro 96 Football (soccer) tournament, and England had just played Scotland for the first time in many years. Scotland lost, and the Scottish fans took over Trafalgar Square. When I heard that they had shut down the Tube service and were sending police to the area, I decided this could be interesting, grabbed my camera, and ran for it. I got there just as the police surrounded the area, trapping me inside the square with the rowdy fans. I got clipped by a billy club at one point, and took a lot of pictures of drunk Scotsmen. Good times. A little dangerous, with the beer bottles being flung at the police and all, but very interesting.

Police (before suiting up in riot gear) in front of me
Drunken Scotsmen behind me, before the party turned ugly

Moving right along, Toni asked: What is your favorite post you’ve EVER written? And favorite one you’ve ever read on someone else’s blog?

My favorite post for sheer laughter has to be my Friday Night Smackdown post. I still enjoy reading that one. My favorite serious post is the day I was told Cordy is autistic. It’s still painful to read, but the part I love is the amazing support from all of the comments I received. It reaffirmed that mommyblogging really is about the community we’ve formed, first and foremost.

As for favorite post ever from someone else’s blog…are you kidding? I have so many that there’s no way I could pick just one! My Bloglines currently has 182 posts that I’ve saved so I could read again. I can tell you that today’s favorite post for me is Queen of Spain’s The Business of Mommyblogging.

Cindy, who is getting married soon, then asked two questions: What was your favourite part about your wedding? If you had it to do over again, what would you avoid doing at your wedding or what would you change about your wedding?

My favorite part of my wedding had to be mid-way through the reception, when someone had requested the song Let’s Do The Time Warp Again (from The Rocky Horror Picture Show), and half of the room jumped up and ran out to the dance floor to join in. I remember looking at everyone out there and thinking, “Yep, these are our friends.” Our wedding and reception were the perfect blend of everything lovely (gorgeous dress, elegant cake, pretty decorations) with lots of fun, too.

As for what I would change? Nothing. I loved the entire event. Wait, I can think of something: if we could do it over, I would have made sure someone remembered to grab the marriage certificate from the chapel. We thought it was put into a box with the other items from the ceremony, but it never reappeared. Oops.

And finally! To wrap this up, jerseygirl89 had two questions for me: What is your all-time favorite smell?

Vanilla. Had you asked me in fifth grade, I would have replied rubber cement. See how your tastes mature when you get older?

Can you remember a favorite outfit from junior high? If so, what was it?

I really can’t remember a favorite outfit, but I’m pretty sure it WASN’T this:


Ta-da! You asked, I answered. Thanks for all the questions everyone!



Truthiness in Advertsing

Tracey (of Sweetney) started a little project asking fellow bloggers to share a self-portrait. But not just any self-portrait. It has to be taken first thing in the morning, when you still have bed head, oily skin, and dry lips. This is a real self-portrait: no makeup, no fancy hairstyle, no camera tricks.

I’ve been hesitating on this for a week now. After all, motherhood has taken quite a toll on not only this body, but also this face. The eyes are now bloodshot from lack of sleep. The bags under my eyes have gone from sandwich size to trash bag size. Creases are now finding permanent homes: around my eyes from all of the laughing and smiling, and between my eyebrows from disapproving frowns and scowls.

But my fellow twitterers convinced me to just do it. After all, they’ve put their au natural selves on display already. (Of course, they’re all beautiful in the morning. Yes, I mean you. Don’t question me on this.)

So meet the real me (2 different perspectives), with a cold and too little sleep.

Do I smile for this? Smirk? Go stone-faced? Stare like a madwoman into the camera?

Want to join in? You can check out the details at Tracey’s post, and also add your picture to the Flickr group.

In other news, part 2 of the questions you asked will be up in a day or two. Promise! In the meantime, have you checked out Alltop.com yet? They have an awesome Mom blog section. It’s a preselected blogroll of some of the best mom blogs out there, in case you’re too busy to go searching them out on your own.



Haiku Friday: Young Jedi

Haiku Friday


Daddy-daughter time:
She is a Jedi fighter.
He is a Sith lord.

A flash of blue light
crashing against red light in
the lightsaber duel

It’s Star Wars at home
She’s never seen the movies
But it is still fun

This is what happens
When your husband’s a geek and
Shares it with your kid

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below or at Jennifer’s blog with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, contact Jennifer or myself.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! We will delete any links without haiku!



The Battle Between Emotion and Logic Regarding Vaccinations

I consider myself lucky that my children don’t go to the doctor very often. I can count on one hand the number of times we’ve taken either of them to the doctor for something other than a routine well-child check. Of course, I’ve probably jinxed myself now, and will endure a long string of ear infections, cuts and strange rashes as a punishment for bragging about that.

But even the well-child visits are stressful for me. Cordy’s visits always start with a full-blown meltdown because she is terrified of the doctor’s office. Thankfully, those are only once a year now. For Mira, however, my stress results from the mental preparation of what will happen with each visit.

I took Mira to the pediatrician for her nine month check-up the other day. The first part of the exam went relatively well: 20 pounds, 29.5 inches long. Cordy may be the Amazon warrior princess, but Mira is proving to be an Amazon in height as well. (But not quite at warrior weight.) She charmed the nurse and charmed her doctor, babbling at both of them, waving her arms and flashing wide, scrunchy-eye grins.

Then the doctor got serious, and the discussion about her vaccinations began. Mira is on a delayed schedule for vaccines, and needed one shot that day. But the one year vaccinations are looming three months in the future, and I felt we needed to establish in advance a schedule we could all agree on.

I’m not against vaccinations. I know how important they are at providing herd immunity against a collection of diseases that once claimed so many lives. As a student nurse, the logical side of me knows they are relatively safe and effective. A couple of months ago, I had the chance to speak with Dr. Paul Offit, Chief of Infectious Diseases at Children’s Hospital of Philly. He explained how today’s standard children’s vaccines are safer than years ago, and that no study has been able to prove a conclusive connection between vaccines and autism. The logical side of me nods in agreement. After all, I had all of my vaccinations as a kid, and I was fine.

But then the mom in me says wait. Something feels off. While there is no definitive proof that vaccines cause autism, I am still hesitant. I remember the smiley baby who babbled and chatted and acted like every other baby three years ago. And I remember how, between 12 and 18 months, her personality shifted, ever so slightly, and she slowly pulled inward, became more difficult to interact with, and developed the series of traits that would eventually lead to a school psychologist asking me if I had heard of autism spectrum.

I don’t think vaccines cause autism. At least, not entirely. There is a genetic component – there has to be to explain how one child, raised in a manner similar to his/her peers, with similar exposures to environmental toxins, can develop autism while another child experiences a typical development pattern. That genetic defect is the underlying condition, but I think there has to be some sort of trigger also. And I can see how vaccines, or mercury in the water, or BPA in plastics, or phthalates in baby shampoo and lotion, or some other environmental toxin could provide that trigger that activates the genetic problem.

I’ll admit I’m doing it all differently with Mira. I breastfed her for eight months. (Cordy wasn’t as into breastfeeding.) We use BPA-free bottles now, and she eats mostly organic foods. For vaccinations, we’ve taken it slowly, with only one or two vaccines at a time.

So when her doctor mentioned her one year vaccinations coming up, I carefully explained that I didn’t want her to have the MMR vaccine at that time, and that I saw the Hepatitis A vaccine as an unnecessary vaccine. I also mentioned that I’d rather try to get her exposed to chicken pox on our own before considering that vaccine. After I expressed my preferences, I held my breath and waited for the lecture in return.

Surprisingly, her pediatrician looked at me and said, “That’s fine. I’m OK with delaying the MMR. It’s not like there has been a measles outbreak in this area. If there was, you can bet we’d call you to revisit this discussion. As long as she gets it before school, she’ll be fine.”

Whew. She understood my conflicted feelings on vaccines, and together we worked out a long-term schedule to follow. I want Mira to be protected, but I also want to take it slowly and not overload her system.

It’s a completely emotional response, and I know that. It’s possible Mira’s genetics are such that she will never develop autism. It’s also possible that no matter how different I try to make things, she will still succumb to it. Trying something different gives me hope, though. It gives me something to control in this sea of uncertainty, and I’ll cling to that hope for as long as I can.

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