Murphy’s Law & Unexpected Kindness

As I mentioned recently, we lost our health insurance last Thursday, and we’re currently in the process of getting the kids onto state health insurance, just until Aaron can find a new job.

Thankfully, we have two healthy girls. Mira has seen the doctor once outside of normal well-child visits. Cordy has only been twice for a sick visit in nearly four years. So what are the chances that the girls would get sick in this small window of no insurance?

On Friday, Mira ran a high fever. I was sure we would have to take her to the doctor because she was so hot. However, I treated it with ibuprofen at home and after a few days it went away on its own. Whew – crisis averted.

But over a week ago Cordy started to develop some red spots around her mouth. Then they turned into weepy sores. I thought at first that maybe she had eaten something that caused an allergy, but they only got worse, not better, and then they started to spread to her chin.

I called the doctor last week (while we still had insurance), and they told me it was probably impetigo and to put some antibiotic ointment on it and it would be fine. They didn’t want to see her. I did as instructed, but on Sunday I could see it was still getting worse.

Of course. The child who never needs to see the doctor now needs to see one. Even worse: she’s the one who has epic meltdowns at the doctor’s office.

So I looked over our options, and the cheapest was to visit a little clinic inside our local grocery store. It was only $59, versus over $100 at the doctor or urgent care. We waited our turn, with Cordy being amazingly well-behaved considering we were going into a medical setting. After half an hour, Cordy’s name was called by a gentle looking older woman.

We walked into the office, and the woman – a nurse practitioner – could immediately see our problem. She pulled on some gloves and took a closer look at Cordy’s face while I explained the history of the sores and how I’ve treated them so far. She agreed it was impetigo.

“Have you been here before?” she asked.

“No.”

“What insurance do you have?”

At this point I explained that we had none at the moment, due to my husband losing his job. She nodded, glanced at her computer with the new patient form waiting to be filled in, then turned back to us.

“Well, I can write her a prescription to clear that up. And don’t worry about a charge for the visit.”

My jaw fell open. “Are…are you sure?” I asked. (And yes, later I thought to myself WHY DID YOU QUESTION HER? Take the free offer and run!)

“Oh yes, don’t worry about it. I’ve had to do so many sports physicals for kids today, with all the paperwork that goes with them, that this is a relief! Let me go check with the pharmacy and find the least expensive option for you to clear this up.”

As she left the room to consult with the pharmacist, I reflected on her generosity. She had no reason to do it. After all, this place was designed for those who don’t have insurance or need to see someone after regular office hours, and she gets paid for seeing patients. The visit fee isn’t cheap, but it’s far cheaper than other options.

I couldn’t even consider Cordy as the cause. While I never encourage it, Cordy’s inability to deal with certain situations has resulted in being ushered to the front of line or given quick service in the past, probably to get rid of us as rapidly as possible.

But this time Cordy was brilliant, and I was so proud of her. She stayed in her seat, with only minor quirky behavior and even let the nurse touch her – unheard of behavior for this child! Cordy actually focused on the nurse when she spoke to Cordy, too. I wondered if this nurse was secretly some kind of spectrum-child-whisperer, and could she please come home with us?

When she came back into the room, she told me that the first choice of treatment for impetigo was very expensive, but the second choice was an antibiotic that comes in a generic form for roughly $20. I agreed to that, and she wrote the prescription. We chatted for a few minutes about nursing school and she gave me tips for finding a job after graduation. I thanked her at least ten more times before we left. She asked Cordy for a hug, and again the stars aligned and the heavens parted to shine down on this nurse as Cordy gave her a big hug.

Times may be tough, but there are good people out there doing what they can to help. We all – no matter our situation – have the ability to help others in some way, even if it’s something as small as saying a kind word or giving a friend a hand with moving. (Or participating in Blog the Recession.) I hope I can pass on to others the benevolence given to me.

Our kindness to each other shows humanity at its best, and reminds me that just maybe the world isn’t the cold, selfish, impersonal place that I often worry it’s becoming.



More Cordy-isms: The Passive-Aggressive Edition

“Mommy, I have a cold.”

“Oh, really? I’m sorry to hear that, Cordy.”

“I need ice cream to feel me better.”

“Are you saying you want some ice cream?”

“No, I need ice cream to feel me better.”

————-

“Mommy, what’s the word on the street?”

“I don’t know, what’s the word on the street?”

“Sandwich!”

“Are you trying to tell me you want lunch?”

“Yes.”

————

“Do you miss your grandma, Cordy?”

“Yes! Grandma wants to see me now!”

“Do you mean you want to see grandma?”

“No, grandma wants to see me now!”

————

“Oh-my-dear! My tummy is rumbly!”

(The fact that she exclaims “Oh my dear!” is perhaps the cutest thing in the world.)

————

“Mommy, car is saying something!”

“What’s the car saying, sweetie?”

“Home!”

“Do you mean you want to go home?”

“Yes. Car takes me home.”

————

As you can see, my child never wants anything. At least she never wants anything directly.



Hot By BlogHer: Less Than 24 Hours Left

I’ll be leaving the house at o’dark-thirty tomorrow morning for my flight to BlogHer. So I guess it’s too late to attempt to lose another 10 pounds quickly, isn’t it?

That’s OK, though. I’m ready. Did I lose weight over the past few months? Yes, I did – about 10 pounds. Did I gain some muscle, too? I think so. I’m eating better on a daily basis now, and thanks to Aaron being unemployed, I’m eating far less fast food, too! Exercise, while still not a daily event, is at least a 2-3 times a week activity. Those are all big changes for me. And the results are visible.

No magical transformation to see here, though. I’m still me, just lighter than I was at the last two BlogHers, and a little more confident. But there is a little more muscle tone, and my face is brighter. I’ve got a decent haircut now, thanks to the Aveda Institute, and today I had the chance to relax and de-stress through a facial. (Gift certificates are wonderful things.)

I’m glad I had this event to motivate me. I’m planning to keep up the efforts, even though it’ll no longer be Hot by BlogHer. Not unless I’m starting early for next year.

So if you’re going to BlogHer, look for me. I’ll brave enough to wear sleeveless tops, but best of all, I’m keeping to my word to wear a sundress. (I don’t care that the high is in the mid-60’s for San Francisco. That’s near-perfect for me.) I think I’m going to look pretty damn good in that dress, too. Here’s a hint of what to look for:


Let’s rock this party!



Ups and Downs: Currently In The Downs

It’s amazing how much harder it is to blog in the summertime. When Cordy’s regular special needs preschool ended, I worried how her behavior might change as a result of this change in routine. She needs that routine, so she knows what to expect each minute of the day. Without routine, she’s fidgety, hyperactive, defiant, and sometimes just plain manic. I was so excited when she was recommended for the district’s special needs summer school, knowing that some continuation of routine would be good for her.

The week between the end of class and the beginning of her summer school wasn’t too bad. She was a little off, but overall we found ways to keep her days filled with activity. Then summer school started, and she hated the new routine. Unlike the regular school year, she rode the bus both ways instead of just one way, her school day was longer, and she had new teachers and new classmates.

I had hoped that my Amazon warrior princess would adjust quickly to the new school. And she did adjust a little, but the last day of school was last Thursday, and she still cried getting onto the school bus, just like she did every day before that. She never wanted to go to school, begged to stay home, and occasionally told me she wanted to see her old teacher.

But even worse is that her behavior started to backslide even while in school. She would come home from school and be on the verge of a meltdown if we didn’t cater to her demands. There ae some weird new habits that she’s developed, like constantly putting her fingers in her mouth or licking her hands. And while potty training was starting to reach some success, for the past week and a half it’s been a complete failure.

Now summer school is over, and while she starts a camp next week, I’m ready to cry uncle. This backslide is so difficult. She’s still an adorable girl who charms everyone with her politeness – even while in a screaming fit, she’ll still answer your requests with “No, thank you!” Cordy also can melt your heart as she hugs you and says, “You’re my best friend.” But the manic running back and forth, the constant repetition of scripted phrases, the shrieks and screams when we do something she doesn’t like, and the self-inflicted injuries when we try to correct her are wearing me down.

I know that when it comes to autism, there are periods of growth and periods of regression, however we’ve had such a long up period that this downward tumble is painful to experience. I try to be a good mom, try not to take the screams personally and try not to take out my frustrations about her behavior on her. I know that she has trouble controlling her reactions to sensory stimuli and keeping her emotions in check.

Then Cordy pushes me too far, and I lash out at her, yelling, imposing strict punishments, followed by cooling down and crumpling to the floor, feeling like I’m not cut out for this kind of parenting. I wonder why me? How can someone like me – an average mom, fumbling along for the first time – be expected to pull this child out of the fog she’s often trapped in? Where’s my handbook on how to raise her to be a successful member of society?

The small bit of good news is that we just found out that we’ve been approved for funding through the county’s developmental disability office. This means we’ll be able to seek out more therapy and treatment for Cordy, with the county picking up any costs that insurance won’t. (Which means everything, since our health insurance will not cover any treatment for autism, considering it an “untreatable” condition. Bastards.) And they’ll help cover the costs for me to attend an autism conference in October, where I hope to learn more about how I can best help my daughter.

It’s a good thing that I’m getting on a plane for BlogHer on Thursday. I need an escape – just for a little while – from all of the stress at home. Hopefully I’ll be able to come back refreshed and ready to find new ways to handle any further backsliding Cordy may have.


(PS – Thanks for all of the well-wishes on my exam on Friday. I’m proud to say that not only did I pass, I scored the third best in my entire class. I guess I knew more than I thought I did!)



Haiku Friday: A Fourth of July Haiku

Hey Americans
Happy Independence Day
Enjoy the fireworks

Cordy’s school had a
parade in the rain, marching
with their drums and flag


No fireworks for us
Both girls will be asleep by
nine no matter what

I think Cordy would probably like to watch the fireworks, but I don’t think it’ll happen this year, because my two girls turn into pumpkins at 9 pm. No matter where we are or what exciting event is happening, they cannot stay awake past 9 pm, and many times fall asleep earlier.

Normally they’re in bed by 7:30 pm at the latest. Cordy has always wanted an early bedtime, and Mira is following the trend. It makes it tough to do anything later in the evening, but it’s also nice to have a little time without them. Luckily the neighborhood fireworks display is very close by, so the girls can go to sleep in the evening, and Aaron and I can watch the show on our front lawn.

(Before you say how lucky we are, know that both Cordy and Mira are awake at 6:00 am or earlier every morning. I’d happily trade an hour later bedtime for an hour later wake-up time, but it never happens.)

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below or at Jennifer’s blog with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, contact Jennifer or myself.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! We will delete any links without haiku!

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