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Oct 7, 2008

A Touch of Random Update

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Have you visited my reviews blog yet to read about our family’s adventure in making French Toast? There are pictures and video of Cordy participating in her first cooking experiment, already showing more talent than me. Although she did want to drown each piece of bread.

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The car is fixed! When I posted last week about our car troubles, a local reader e-mailed me and offered to send her husband over to look at our car. He discovered the faulty part, and $80 later the car works again. Thanks to his diagnosis it became a problem we could afford to fix instead of something that would have likely been out of our price range when adding in labor and the fee they charge to read the check engine light code.

I’d like to give a big thanks to Karen and Clay for their help. (I’m not sure if Karen wants me to link to her blog or not – but if she does I’ll add the link.) Have I ever mentioned that there are very nice people in Columbus? Well, there are. I got more proof of it this weekend, and had fun meeting a new local mom in the process.

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Cordy didn’t like it when daddy refused to turn the TV on for her the other day. Her response: “Daddy, those aren’t the right words.” That’s her new go-to line whenever we say something she doesn’t like.

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Anyone watching the debate tonight? I’m watching and joining Momocrats for their liveblog?

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After all of my wailing about being poor, there’s a chance Aaron will have a new job tomorrow.

Advantages: he’ll be working with a good friend (she’s the one who encouraged him to apply), the pay is good, there are opportunities for overtime, and he can work from home.

Disadvantages: It’s contract only, so at the end of three months he’s done, unless he can impress them enough to get a second contract.

But it would be enough money to afford COBRA health insurance for a couple of months, pay the bills, and buy presents for the holidays this year. I’m crossing my fingers and hoping this string of bad luck has finally reached its end.

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Now that school is over two weeks into the quarter, I think I’ve figured out a good school-work-life balance again. That means I can get back to reading and commenting on blogs regularly again, so hopefully I’ll catch up on your life soon.

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Remember back in May when I did the Cincinnati Walk Now for Autism? It was a fun (although wet) event, and thanks to a few readers, we raised $345. Well, this Sunday I’m walking in the Columbus Walk Now for Autism and once again accepting donations for the cause.

You can give a tax-deductible donation for my team through the website to help support autism research, advocacy and awareness. Even $5 or $10 helps, so if you have the ability, please consider giving. Those in Columbus are encouraged to come to the event on Sunday morning to show your support. We’ll be there in force with the kids and extended family.

Filed Under: Autism, Cordy, kid logic, people who don't suck, random, the J-O-B ·


Oct 5, 2008

Spooky and Kooky Days of the Week

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In four short years, I’ve had to listen to a lot of music designed for kids. Some of it is fun, some of it I’d even call enjoyable, but I find the best songs are the ones that actually teach kids something in the process.

I’m volunteering at Cordy’s preschool one morning a week right now, which has been a great opportunity to see exactly what Cordy’s learning while there. I like to see the teaching methods used so I can copy them at home for some consistency. And I discovered that her teacher has a fun sense of humor when using music to teach.

My first morning there, Cordy’s teacher had them gather for circle time, and she asked them to sing the Days of the Week song. As they started singing, I suddenly realized that I knew the tune. And it wasn’t a tune I was expecting to hear, either. I had to stifle giggles while they sang it.

I learned that day that you can really take any tune at all and put new words to it to make it fun for kids. Since then, we sing it around the house, too, and I’ll share it with all of you:

Days of the Week
(Sung to the Addams Family song – if your kids can’t snap, claps work just fine)

Days of the week *snap**snap*
Days of the week *snap**snap*
Days of the week, days of the week, days of the week *snap**snap*
There’s Sunday and there’s Monday
There’s Tuesday and there’s Wednesday
There’s Thursday and there’s Friday
And then there’s Saturday
Days of the week *snap**snap*
Days of the week *snap**snap*
Days of the week, days of the week, days of the week *snap**snap*

This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network as an entry for a contest sponsored by Bush’s Beans. They’re giving away two $500 gift cards to Best Buy this weekend – that could wrap up a lot of my holiday shopping this year!

Filed Under: Cordy, daily life, school ·


Oct 4, 2008

Moments We’re Not Proud Of

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Many of you may read Catherine of Her Bad Mother, and you probably know that she’s been having a rough time lately. This parenting gig isn’t always baby giggles and butt wiggles – we often discover some of the deepest, darkest parts of ourselves on this journey, too. Ali recently wrote a post to lend some support to Catherine in an “I’ve been there” kinda way, and I wanted to share my story, too.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve scared myself with my own thoughts. Times when I was pushed beyond the breaking point by a late night crying session that was seemingly endless, or a child who simply wouldn’t do what I needed her to do. I don’t know if that says that I’m not well-suited to being a parent, or simply have a short fuse.

My worst moments were a little over a year ago, before Cordy was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum and when she was at the height of her out-of-body, demonic possession tantrums. I know now that she couldn’t control herself – when she hit that right combination of sensory overload, all higher functions seemed to step out for awhile, leaving the primitive brain in charge for awhile. It was hard to see her like that, but it was also frustrating for me, and inconvenient, and often embarrassing when we were in public.

Her primal screaming, kicking, biting, and resisting me tested all of my limits of tolerance and patience. Many times I’d partially lose control, yelling at her and handling her roughly just to drag her out of the house or force her into her car seat. But more than once I can clearly remember snapping, suddenly noticing my hand up in the air, poised and ready to strike. I was shocked at my own in-the-moment instinct: the desire to hurt her – to beat her – was there, and it scared me more than any tantrum she has ever thrown.

I’m thankful that I was able to recognize the line and step away before crossing it and doing something I might forever regret. Those moments still bother me – I often torture myself for even thinking such things. What kind of a mom thinks of beating her child?

The truth is, many parents have these thoughts, and we shouldn’t judge ourselves or others for thinking them. Thoughts and actions are two very different things, and even though I might have been angry enough to carry out my irresponsible wishes, I didn’t do it. A different kind of instinct took over at that point – mother’s instinct.

And while I laugh about those long nights when Cordy was a baby, when Aaron and I discussed driving out to a cornfield and leaving her there, I also acknowledge that there were moments where I scared myself with violent thoughts. Recognizing where that escalation beyond frustration into violence begins, though, has helped me from reaching that point again. I’m not a great mother, but I do know I’m a pretty good mom, doing the best I can each day.

Although I still threaten to leave them in a cornfield.

What are your darkest moments of parenting? Write a post about it, leave a comment here, or e-mail Ali if you want to do it anonymously (details at her post here). And be sure to visit Catherine and lend her your support as well.

Filed Under: being a mom, Cordy · Tagged:


Sep 28, 2008

Mom or Zookeeper – What’s The Difference?

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When I was little, I wanted to work in a zoo. I loved everything about animals, and knew that no matter what, the only job that would be right for me would be one that involved caring for animals somehow. At first it was a vet. Then I wanted to be a zoo keeper after spending a summer at zoo camp. After that it was a marine biologist after a visit to Sea World.

Now when I think back on that first career choice (followed by many, many others), I realize that being a mom really isn’t that far off from zoo keeper. Oh sure, the animals I’m in charge of are directly related to me by birth, but you’d be surprised by many of the similarities.

First off, I spend most of the day dealing with keeping them in their pens. I set up gates around the house to protect Mira from certain doom, and protect precious electronics from her as well. Then I move them to their outdoor pen (aka: the backyard) where they can play in the safety of the fenced-in yard. I’m also in charge of keeping their habitats cleaned each day.

Mira is still non-verbal, so just like a wild animal I can never be sure what she’ll do next, requiring me to always be on my toes. When she needs something, I have to carefully study her body language and behavior to figure out what she’s trying to tell me.

At feeding time, I put together healthy, nutritious meals for my little animals. They pace back and forth like lions while I make meals, anxiously awaiting the tasty treats on the counter. When they get their food they tear into it, with no concern about manners or keeping their faces clean. And like a zoo keeper, I have to ask others to please not feed the animals, because food other than what I prepared for them can often make them sick. (Especially Cordy’s food allergies.)

Of course, while I have to keep them safe and healthy, I also want my children to have as much fun as possible. And this is where they truly act like zoo animals. Or more specifically, monkeys and bears. During the “witching hour” (most moms know what this is, right?), they always start out as monkeys, jumping up and down, shouting loudly, bouncing off of everything as they burn off that late-day energy. But by the end of the witching hour, just before dinner and bedtime, they become bears, wrestling each other for fun, each trying to overpower her sister.

Let the wrestling begin.

And just like any good zookeeper, I love the ones I care for. I may not always like my job, and my little animals can (often) get on my nerves with their crazy behavior, but at the end of the day when they’re happily asleep in their beds, I sit back and think how lucky I am to do the job I wanted to do.

Are you living in a zoo? If so, join in on this blog blast, sponsored by the Parent Bloggers Network and Generation Next’s new iKnow Animals, Letters & Sounds DVD collection. You could win a copy of the DVDs, along with a $250 Visa gift card. The blog blast ends at midnight tonight.

Filed Under: Cordy, daily life, Mira · Tagged:


Sep 24, 2008

Signs of a Good Birthday Party

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A cake, designed by the birthday girl:


Ice cream to go with the cake (with Phat Mommy ice cream scoop):


Baby bird mouth:


Sugar highs:


Cool gifts:


Hanging with friends:

Per the birthday girl’s request, we didn’t sing Happy Birthday, making it the perfect day for her. And with an entire day without a single shriek, cry or meltdown, it was the perfect day for me as well.

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Filed Under: Cordy, growing up ·