Visiting The World Of What Could Have Been

Cordy had her annual check-up with her pediatrician two days ago, and this time it was with the ped that saw her during her entire first year of life. OK, she’s actually a pediatric nurse practitioner, but typing that out every single time will cramp my fingers, so let’s just call her the ped, OK? This particular ped left the practice due to family issues when Cordy was a little over a year old, and just recently came back to work again. I was thrilled to see she was back, so I made sure to schedule Cordy with her.

(I’ll also add how thankful I am that we have a great pediatric group. They’re not covered by the state insurance that the girls now have, but the office worked out a reduced cost visits deal with us so we wouldn’t have to change peds until we have better insurance again.)

Cordy always has a problem with the doctor’s office. But she has matured a little, so I hoped it wouldn’t be as bad this year. When we were called back, things started off very well – she actually took off her shoes and stepped on the scale to get height/weight measurements with only a little prodding. We once again confirmed that she is maintaining her Amazon status: 43 inches tall, 45 pounds. She’s only 5 inches away from riding most adult roller coasters and sitting in the front seat of a car – and she just turned 4!

But when the nurse led us into the tiny examining room, Cordy’s discomfort with the situation began to get to her. The nurse tried to take her blood pressure, but only got as far as wrapping the cuff around her arm before Cordy started to squirm and beg to take it off. The nurse tried to calm her down, but she only got more upset. At this point, the nurse turned to me and asked rather sharply, “Is there some behavioral issue or condition I should know about?”

I was a little taken aback by the wording, and stuttered out, “Well, yeah…uh…she has autism,” and then quickly added, “but is high-functioning and has made a lot of progress.” Like I needed to justify it or something.

The nurse stepped back and took off the blood pressure cuff. “Ah, well, then I won’t bother with this. Did they take her blood pressure last year?”

“Well, no. They were kind of afraid of her at her appointment last year. But you can see she’s doing much better now.”

The nurse nodded, asked a few more questions and then left. Cordy started to get manic in response to the situation, climbing on the exam table, spinning around to rip the paper, and standing up on the table. The minutes it took for the ped to come in felt like days.

It was great to see this ped again. She is gentle spoken and approaches children slowly with an air of friendliness. I absolutely love how she interacts with children. Cordy didn’t appear threatened as she looked at the ped and said, “Hi doctor, I have a boo-boo on my leg. Can you fix it?” (She has a scratch on her leg.)

As the ped looked through Cordy’s records, she asked us questions about Cordy’s autism, when and where we had evaluations done, and what therapy she currently receives. She paused when she got to Cordy’s growth charts, looking carefully at the head circumference chart and flipping back through various doctors’ notes at the same time.

“Were you aware of how big her head was when she was two?” she asked us. “I mean, her head size was already off the charts at 15 and 18 months, but look here.” She showed us the growth chart, which I already knew by heart. “At two years old, her head size makes a dramatic jump, way off the charts. Did the doctor bring it up at that visit?”

“No.” I replied. The truth is, after this ped left, we saw several different doctors and nurse practitioners after her. It seems like every time I tried to schedule a new appointment for Cordy, I was told that her previous doctor was no longer there, so I’d have to see a new one. I didn’t like the lack of a consistent pediatrician, but most of them seemed nice enough.

“And she wasn’t evaulated until she was nearly three?”

“That’s right. I decided to have her evaluated after Aaron and I became concerned with her behavior.”

She shook her head. “They really dropped the ball on this. If I had seen her head size at two years old, I would have immediately looked into screening for autism and ordered a CT scan to make sure everything was OK. A head circumference that large at that age is always seen as a concern. There is a correlation between larger heads and higher intelligence, but children with autism tend to have larger head sizes – and many have high IQs – and it can be an early indicator that can lead to earlier diagnosis and treatment.”

This bit of news only confirmed what I already knew. I remember Cordy’s well-checks when she was younger, and I remember watching her head circumference continue rising further and further away from that 100th percentile line. I was concerned, and I expressed my concerns, but I was waved off with a laugh and a “big head equals big brains, right?” from the peds at that time. No one seemed concerned, and so I continued to believe that her behavior was a result of inheriting her parents’ stubborn and strong-willed natures. Hindsight is 20/20, of course, but I wish one of her doctors would have noticed or said something.

Cordy resisted for much of the physical exam, as expected. We measured her head circumference again, just to see how much it had changed from her two year measurement. They don’t have growth charts that track head size past three years old, but her measurement was very close to her two year measurement. The ped told us that since it’s been two years without much of a change in circumference, and since Cordy has shown progress at school in her behavior, she wouldn’t recommend a CT scan now. But she added that she’s really disappointed that no one else paid attention to the signs earlier.

I’m thankful that Cordy is a healthy child who rarely gets sick. And Mira is much the same way. They both have the occasional cold or stomach bug, but it doesn’t slow them down much. And I’m glad to have Cordy’s old ped back, and I think Mira will start seeing her too. I couldn’t help but notice at Mira’s 15 month well-check that her head circumference has gone up and is now hovering just under the 100th percentile mark, taunting us with the possibility of jumping over that line at the next visit.

I don’t see any signs of autism in Mira, though, and I hope none will develop. However, she is being evaluated in two weeks for a possible speech delay – at nearly 17 months, she still can’t fully say a single word. She tries hard, but words come out as a strange warped version of what she’s trying to say. The musicality of a word is there, but few of the sounds come close to matching. I probably wouldn’t be concerned if it wasn’t for the fact that I remember Cordy talking up a storm and starting to count at this age. I brought up the issue at her last well-check and her ped recommended an evaluation after hearing my worries.

I guess the lesson from all of this is that even pediatricians are fallible. The best advocate for your child is yourself – you know your child better than anyone else. Ask lots of questions, and don’t be afraid to push an issue. If I had pushed the issue two years ago, it’s possible Cordy could have started therapy sooner and be at a higher level of progress than she currently is.



Halloween Test Run

On Saturday we took the girls to Boo at the Zoo. It’s an annual event where kids come in costume and trick-or-treat at the zoo, costumed characters are available for pictures, and additional Halloween-themed events happen all weekend.

It gave us a chance to see how the girls would look in their costumes in the daylight, and it gave them a little practice in trick-or-treat etiquette. The result? Cordy’s always been the one to steal the spotlight from other kids, but I think she may have some competition now, because Mira was the one everyone cooed over. Get used to it, kid – your little sister is the comedian, after all.

They both had fun, though, and I now get to practice telling Cordy no when she asks for some of her candy every five minutes.

Supergirl up, up and away!

Raggedy Anne ponders the hay maze

Ready to defend the world and get some candy, too

Spending some time with the sheep and goats in the Petting Zoo


I Got Your Geeky Man Cave Right Here

Parent Bloggers is hosting another blog blast this weekend, and the theme for this one is extremely amusing to me. They want to see the “man cave” in our houses – you know, that area your husband (or you) has claimed as his own and filled with stuff that he can’t bear to part with.

This was a little tough for me, because Aaron has several small stashes of stuff that would be ideal to showcase. Maybe pictures of his bookcases (yes, plural) full of sci-fi novels and gaming books? Or the multiple sci-fi marathon, horror movie marathon, and stage combat workshop t-shirts he’s amassed over the years and refuses to part with?

But then I decided what would work best. Mira’s room, before she was born, was Aaron’s own not-so-much man cave as man war-room. But now that Mira is here, much of his stuff had to be pushed aside to make room for her. The bookcases remain in her room, with gaming books next to a crib and baby toys, and the small walk-in closet is still his entirely. Here are some of the contents:

Closer views:


What’s all in there? Here’s a short list of some of the more prominent items:

1. Lots of stage combat swords of different sorts
2. Can of enamel spray paint for painting miniatures for gaming
3. Box of rope and wooden “knives” for stage combat
4. Fencing jacket
5. Toolbox (OK, this is the family toolbox. Still, it seems at home in there.)
6. Fancy (read: expensive) Star Wars lightsabers that actually light up and make all the noises
7. Eight or so of the 28+ boxes of comic books
8. A large Captain-America-esque round shield
9. Box of wooden “lightsabers” used for stage combat practice
10. Sword cleaning supplies (steel wool, WD-40, some kind of powder)
11. Wooden sword – a relic from when he and a friend did a Renaissance Faire stage act

The original plan was for all 28+ boxes of comic books to reside in this closet. However, we realized that by stakcing all of them in that small space, the weight might compromise the floor and send it all crashing through into the garage. I wasn’t so thrilled with the idea of a hole in the floor in Mira’s room.

This is just a little of the geek stuff that Aaron owns. He’s still a little resentful of having his man cave taken over by our second child, insisting that soon both girls can share Cordy’s room so he can have his room back. I have a feeling that when we move to our next house, whenever that may be, he’ll insist on a house that will provide a room for him again.

So what’s in the man cave at your house?

This blog blast is sponsored by Parent Bloggers and Bill Me Later, where they invite you to enter to win a man cave makeover.



Haiku Friday: Costumes Subject to Change

“I want to be a
superhero!” she tells me
for this Halloween.

So superhero
costume purchased, and now? She
wants to be a bat.

I sometimes wonder
if she does this on purpose
just to screw with us.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!



See A Penny, Pick It Up

It seems that the bad luck that has been an unwanted house guest for oh-so-long is tiring of the scenery and packing its bags. I don’t know if it was lots of positive thinking, searching for four-leaf clover, picking up every penny I saw, or throwing said pennies into fountains and making wishes, but things have turned around in the past few days.

At first I thought we would never escape the dark cloud hanging over our heads. On Friday I received a call from one of my freelance gigs (the one that paid the best) and my producer told me I was no longer needed. That was a huge blow, and while I tried to not take it personally since it seems everyone is cutting back, I still took it personally. I’m trying to look at it as one task off my overfilled plate, and therefore a blessing in disguise.

On Sunday we attended the Walk Now for Autism event. Our team raised over $500. The walk had thousands of people there, and it felt nice to be surrounded by those who understood if Cordy started acting out. There was also a resource fair at the event, and I talked to several service providers who we may be contacting soon to get Cordy signed up for further therapy.

When we were approved for additional therapy funding back in May, I was handed a huge list of providers – hundreds of providers – with no additional information about them. Which approach do they use? What are their specialties? I was told I’d have to call everyone on that list and interview each one if I wanted that kind of information. The autism walk gave me the chance to see some of the providers who specialize in autism treatments in person. It was like a mini-interview session, and I found several that I plan to follow up with.

Waiting in line at the bouncy castle

At the starting line of the walk

And then yesterday morning there was a flurry of phone calls, and by 10am Aaron was employed again. He has a 2-3 month contract with a company in Cincinnati, but he will be working from home for most of the project.

The down side is that it’s only a short-term contract, but if he does well the contracting company will hopefully find another position for him. The pay is enough that we’ll go off of all assistance (woo-hoo!), and it looks like we might have enough to buy COBRA insurance for those 2-3 months. Even if the company can’t find him another project, it still buys us more time for him to look for other jobs.

I’m hoping it’ll also help drive away some of our irritation with each other. It’s not that we’re having actual problems per se, but when you’re around your spouse all the time, and you have to carefully examine each expense and interrogate the other as to why we needed another pair of pants for Mira or a ticket to a horror movie marathon, well, you quickly get tired of each other. We’re in each other’s way all day long.

So now he’ll disappear upstairs to work for a few hours a day, and then I’ll take over the office for a few hours when he’s done. And hopefully that will kill some of our irritation. If that doesn’t work, I’m lobbying to bring back Family Double Dare. Dumping green slime on your spouse could be therapeutic.

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