This Is What Happens When You Watch Too Much Bollywood While Pregnant

Give Mira a sticker, and you’ve got a 90% chance of it ending up in the same place every single time:



What is it about the middle of her forehead that screams I need some decoration here! ?

I think she’ll be requesting a package of bindi jewelry for her birthday next month.

PS – Yes, she has a permanent case of bedhead.

PPS – No, it cannot be tamed with any amount of styling product.

PPPS – Yes, I tried everything. Embrace the tousled look.



Not Quite Ready For Primetime

I’ve spent the past two days working 12 hour shifts at the hospital for my last quarter of nursing school, and in that time I’ve been reminded that my interests aren’t exactly the same as the average public. Take this exchange at the nurse station:

A nurse: So, do you work while going to school?

Me: Well, kinda. I work from home as a blogger.

All the nurses around me: *blank stares*

Another nurse: What’s that?

Me: Um, you know…writing about your life or a specific topic on the internet? Creating communities around shared interests?

All the nurses around me: Oh, uh, OK…don’t know what you’re talking about…mumble mumble…Hey, there’s a hockey game tonight, right?

I keep forgetting that not everyone likes to blog and share parts of their lives online. In fact, the average public may know about blogs, but I’m still on the geek edge of society.

I’ll admit to having some pretty varied interests that some might call strange. Some things you may or may not know about me:

– I’m an internet geek, but I’ve been known to dress up in medieval clothing. At one point I decorated my living room with tapestries and swords on the wall.

– I still like cartoons as well as sci-fi TV shows, and I love video games when I get the chance to play them. (You should have heard me squeal with glee when I got my new Nintendo DSi.)

– I can’t cook and I’m a lousy housekeeper, but I can knit and sew. So I guess I’m domestic in an upper class Victorian kinda way.

– I dislike soaps, but you can bet I watched the reality game show Who Wants To Be A Superhero? I also love Jeopardy.

– I was in a sorority in college (go AEPhi!) but we were probably the most unpopular sorority on campus. We were the Omega Mu’s of the real world. Our common phrase? “I never thought I’d join a sorority…”

– I’ve never been what you’d call “popular”. At the same time, in those few fleeting moments of my life when I was at my closest to being popular, I can tell you I found it boring. To be popular felt so bland and vanilla – I didn’t like trying to hide my weirder quirks to please everyone.

I know I’m not alone here, so let your weird flag fly – what are your quirks or odd interests?



Is It Monday Yet?

It’s Cordy’s spring break this week. And I’m amazed we’ve all survived this long.

I never thought I’d look forward to a Monday as much as I do right now.

Thank goodness the sun is shining today. After three days of rain, I was nearly ready to suit the kids up in raincoats and send them out into the cold rain and mud just for a minute or two of peace. Muddy footprints in the carpet and caked on mud in clothing would be a small price to pay for sanity.

With Cordy’s routine being so off at the moment, we’re dealing with a lot of attitude, shrieking, and inappropriate behavior. Our only solution so far is to give her more chores to do. She thinks putting cans into the recycling bin and sweeping the floor are exciting, and it gives her a repetitive activity that calms her down and forces more order into her day.

I think today we’ll have her “pick flowers” in the backyard. Those dandelions are a pain to me, but she’ll think she’s making a bouquet.



She Doesn’t Seem Like She Has Autism

While some may see Cordy at her worst – in a full-out, thrashing, crying meltdown – most now see her in her friendly, happy state: a hyper, smiling four year old, bounding around as if the world was hers alone. A year and a half of therapies have done an amazing job at calming her sensory sensitivities, helping her with coping skills, and teaching her proper social interaction.

And for those who only see her at her best, I often hear the same refrain: “She doesn’t seem like she has autism.”

I understand that it is often said as a compliment. They are trying to say that in the five or ten minutes they’ve observed her, they haven’t seen any signs of a child with any kind of developmental issues. I agree – Cordy has worked so hard to recognize other kids, even asking them to play sometimes.

But now and then, some people go a little too far in their praise. It generally goes something like this: “How did you find out she has autism? Did you actually get a diagnosis? Are you sure?”

Like I’m making this up or something?

Or this: “Autism is such an over-diagnosed condition. Look at her – she’s fine. What kid doesn’t have tantrums or irrational fears? And some 4 year olds aren’t potty trained yet. Just because she’s not a genius doesn’t mean she has autism.”

Ouch.

The truth is, Cordy doesn’t have a medical diagnosis yet, only an educational “classification”. The difference really doesn’t matter at this age. However, any funding for her therapy ends at 6 years old unless she has a medical diagnosis, and so her case worker has set up an appointment with a group of experts to evaluate Cordy in early May.

Because of what people have said to me, I’ve started to wonder if she will even be given a diagnosis. I mean, I’d love to hear that my child is perfectly typical in every way – forget genius, I’d be thrilled to hear average at this point – even if it meant I looked silly for thinking she had some condition that she doesn’t.

But while people may think Cordy acts “normal” (whatever normal may be), they aren’t around her for more than an hour. They don’t notice that over half of what she says is a phrase she’s heard from TV or other people, and that her responses don’t always match what was said to her. They don’t see our behind-the-scenes work. We do a lot of prep before we leave the house, making sure she knows what to expect ahead of time to prevent any surprises and avoid sensory triggers that could lead to a meltdown. And they don’t see how hard she works in her classroom to retrain her entire thought process.

I asked her teacher if I should expect the evaluation to end without a diagnosis. After all, Cordy is the only kid with developmental issues that I’ve ever had, so maybe I’m seeing something that isn’t there. She is certain Cordy will still be diagnosed on the spectrum. Her case worker agrees.

It does feel ridiculous to actually hope for a diagnosis so that her therapy can continue into her school years. But I want her to have every tool possible for a successful future.

I fully expected to have an oddball child when I became a mom. After all, I was the oddball when I was little – smart and teased mercilessly for it. Gifted I was prepared for. Special-needs I was not prepared for. I was prepared for a battle of wits at every turn. I was not prepared for the patience I’d need to talk with a child who can’t read facial expressions, emotions or social cues.

Earlier today I found an excellent post, Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew, and as I read it, my eyes filled with tears. It reminded me to be patient and not expect perfection from Cordy, because no child fits all of the expectations of parents. Just because she’s different doesn’t mean she can’t shine using the strengths she possesses. And the post is an excellent resource for those who may be a little uncertain or even afraid about finding out their child has autism.

When I am once again told “She doesn’t act like she has autism” (because it will be said again), I’ll be able to smile and reply that autism is only one part of who she is, and her strengths outshine her limitations.



Haiku Friday: Springtime Makeover

Haiku Friday
Spring is here! And with
it a new, fresh look here at
A Mommy Story

The background is in
purple in memory and
honor of Maddie

The header is from
the tree in my front yard – the
blossoms are lovely.

Walking out into the sunshine today, my mood was lifted just by feeling the sun on my skin and the cool breeze on my skin. It wasn’t warm enough for short-sleeves, but it felt great.

I realized that it’s been April now for over a week and I still had a photo of snow as my header. It was time for a change, and I think the new colors reflect the season well.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!

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