Haiku Friday: Out of Steam

It’s been nearly two
years since I started Haiku
Friday on a whim

I’m feeling run down
thinking I need a break from
writing weekly ‘ku’s

It doesn’t have to
end, though – any volunteers
want to take over?

I have loved doing Haiku Friday from the beginning. It’s been a way to flex my creative muscles and try something different. But lately it’s become a chore, and the last thing I want is for it to be a chore. It’s not fair to those of you who enjoy playing along each week.

So I need a break. Not sure how long, but possibly a long break. (Note: I’m still blogging, just not in haiku form.) I’m happy to pass the duties off to someone else if they really want the responsibility. If you do, let me know – if more than one person wants it, I’ll figure out some way to pick a host.

Thank you so much to everyone who has participated in Haiku Friday. You’re all brilliant and talented poets and I’m grateful that you took part in my little weekly meme.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!



The Fork in the Road

So aside from going to BlogHer (which I do plan to get back to talking about soon), life has been more than a little crazy for me.

Right before BlogHer, I was offered the job I was hoping for. I’ll be an RN in a labor & delivery unit at a small hospital in the greater Columbus area. I started the job on Tuesday, and while I’ll be working night shift eventually, I’m on day shift during my training. The pay isn’t as high as it is in the larger hospitals, but the atmosphere of this unit really called to me. OK, and the fact that they were the only ones to offer me a job. That helped, too.

I still have to pass my license exam, too. That’s coming up August 17. So forgive me if you ask me a question and I rattle off, “Normal potassium levels are 3.5-5.0” to you. I’m only a little frazzled.

The schedule is an adjustment for me. It’s been two years since I held a job I could explain to people in only one sentence. (So yeah, I work as a blogger. It’s essentially a freelance writer, and I work from home and set my own hours and yeah, it’s a real job. Well, sorta. It sometimes pays, but sometimes it’s only from ad revenue. What’s ad revenue? Well…) Working for 12 hours straight takes some getting used to, although that single-sentence description is quite nice.

And it’s the first time that I’m spending a significant amount of time away from Mira. I quit my part-time job when she was born, not only for nursing school but to be with her, too. We had to put Cordy in full-time daycare at three months old, and I hated myself for those seven long months she was there. I felt like I missed seeing her grow during that time, and I vowed to never do it again. I got to spend all that time with Mira, however. And now she’s two, begging to go to her summer camp five days a week. She’s ready to venture out into the social world of preschoolers, and she doesn’t need me as much. Which means I need to accept that and find a way to not need her as much, either.

That’s not all the change that happened this week, though! Nooooo, not for Aaron and I – when it rains it freaking pours and hails and produces hurricane force winds here. For not only was I offered a job, but then a few days later, Aaron was offered a job! Hallelujah and rainbows and smiling babies!

Aaron’s job offer was for an office job on the opposite side of Columbus from us. At first we were giddy with excitement – new job! They’d let him dress casual! We’d finally have a stable, steady double income! The pay isn’t the best, but money is better than unemployment, right?

But wait – there’s more! Then Aaron got an interview with a company to do freelance work! Much higher pay, too! At the interview, they really seemed to like him, and it’s very possible he’ll be offered a chance to do projects on a semi-regular basis with them.

Months of no job, and now suddenly job prospects everywhere. I’ve been waiting for change for a long, long time, and as you know this past year was a special kind of hell. Now that we’ve got our change, though, why do I find myself screaming, “Whoa! Too fast! Slow it down! I CAN’T HANDLE ALL THIS CHANGE!”

So we’re now trying to process everything. That first offer for a job for Aaron has some trade-offs we’re just now realizing. The hours would require a babysitter, and that sitter would need to work weird, sporadic times and need to transport the girls to their various therapies and activities. The cost for a sitter, along with gas for the 45 min. commute, would eat up much of Aaron’s salary. Plus it’s a 45 min. commute each way. Suddenly the giddyness is wearing off.

But the other position isn’t a sure thing yet. And if it does become a sure thing, it’s only freelance work – no amount of hours are guaranteed – making it not really a sure thing. But it would pay more, so we could budget appropriately for the lean times. Assuming he’s offered the position, of course. Aaron would also be home with the kids if he took this option, making sure they get to therapies and school and whatever they may need.

If. Assuming. Possibly. The control freak in me is going crazy with the lack of certainty right now.

We have to make a choice now about which road to take. The riskier choice, which still has one parent home at all times, but no guarantees on any money greater than my salary (which is enough to cover bills and necessary items), or the stable choice, which could still result in no more money than my salary, plus needing a sitter, but a stable job with some chance for advancement and more money.

Have I mentioned I’m lousy at making decisions? I can’t even pick the fastest checkout lane at the grocery correctly – how can I participate in making a life-altering decision like this?

Someone tap me on the shoulder after all of these changes pass so I can pull my head out of the sand, will ya?



Haiku Friday: My Hero

While at BlogHer, my
husband is staying home with
our kids – what a guy!

Three cheers for Aaron
Without him, I’d never get
to have all this fun!

Everyone give a big thanks to my dear husband, who is spending his weekend alone with the girls wishing he was at Comic-Con while I’m at BlogHer. This weekend, he’s truly my sponsor for BlogHer!

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!



And Knowing Is Half The Battle

Since tomorrow is the big day where I’m getting behind the wheel and making the drive to Chicago, I thought I’d do a small post to let those who I may be meeting in the next 24-48 hours know what to expect when they meet me.

I will stare at your name badge. Even if I’ve known you for four years. I’m lousy with faces and when people change their hair or gain/lose weight, it’s like they’re new people to me. So know that I’m just trying to jog my memory and not staring at your bewbs. Unless you want me to.

Want me to love you forever? Yell my name across the lobby (it makes me feel an eensy-weensie bit important), or come up to me and tell me you read my blog. You’ll see me blush, and know that you just paid me one of the biggest compliments of my life by admitting you read what I write. (This probably goes for many bloggers.)

I suffer from an as-yet-undiscovered condition called BlogHer ADD. It means that in a large crowd of bloggers I get distracted rather easily, and if the room is extremely loud I’m known to zone out and not notice someone right in front of me. If I’m walking past you and don’t notice you if you say hi, grab my arm or something – I’m probably zoned out and need something to focus on.

Speaking of grabbing my arm – I don’t mind people touching me. Some like it, some don’t, but I’m totally a hugger. If you’re not, that’s fine, and I won’t be offended.

I’m a very casual person, so forgive me for any breaches of etiquette.

The dark circles under my eyes don’t necessarily mean I’m tired. I’ve had them all my life – even pics of me at five years old show a kid who looks like she’s been up all night. Pale skin and unfortunate cheekbone structure equals dark circles under the eyes. No amount of concealer can cover it up. However, if you assume I’m tired and offer me a coffee, I’ll still take you up on it.

I’m dressing up for the cocktail parties, and feel free to get a good laugh at me in a dress. I dress up roughly twice a year, which makes me look all kinds of awkward in a dress and heels. The truth is, I LIKE dresses, I just think they’re horribly impractical for everyday life. BlogHer gives me an excuse to be girly, although my hair and makeup will still be style impaired.

Of course everyone will tell you they’re geeky (it is a blogging conference, right?), but I am truly geeky. Ever watched the TV show The Big Bang Theory? I’m Sheldon. OK, maybe I’m not quite Sheldon, but I’m close at times. I’ll admit I’m not very funny, and my wit has a five minute delay. (You know – you think of the perfect witty response to something five minutes after it was said.)

I will talk your ears off given the right topic. Just ask StimeyWhyMommy introduced us last year and I immediately held her hostage at the cocktail party for nearly an hour talking about our kids.

I’m not too proud to admit I LOVE swag. Free stuff is awesome. I love to try out new products, and all of the other little goodies make great gifts for my family.

I’ve never been in a limo before. It’s true. And I just found out I get to ride in one at some point during BlogHer. I’m far too excited than I should probably be about this.

I graduated nursing school in June, and as soon as I take my license exam I’ll be a registered nurse. No, I can’t diagnose that pain in your side, but if you sprain an ankle in your high heels I can help you elevate it and apply ice.

My astrological sign is Gemini/Cancer – I was born on the cusp, leaning towards the Cancer side. Which means I’m normally a fairly quiet person who likes to stay at home, but deep inside I want to be a party girl. BlogHer is satisfying my Gemini desires.

Those of you who have met me before are free to add anything I’ve forgotten, or may not even realize about myself. We should be arriving tomorrow in Chicago mid-afternoon, barring any travel issues. Looking forward to meeting many of you!



Haiku Friday: Miss Independent

Next week, a big change
for Mira regarding her
summer camp schedule

Two days a week was
her old schedule, but she wants
more time at her school

Mira is our Little Miss
Independent, wanting more
time away from home

So next week, she will
attend five days a week, just
like her big sister

Mira is nothing if not independent. While Cordy struggles every day with going to summer camp, Mira dives right in. She’s happy to be there, throwing her backpack at me by the time she hits the doorway to her classroom. If I stay and talk to the teachers too long, she will come back to me, look up at me, place her hand on my belly and say “bye bye” as she gently pushes me out the door.

But being there only two days a week is not enough for her. On the days when Cordy goes to camp on her own, Mira often throws a fit because she can’t go with her. So after a lot of number crunching and a little help and prodding from family, we extended her summer camp schedule to five days a week for the last three weeks of camp. I think based on her results so far, she’ll love it.

This kid will be trying to move out on her own before she’s six.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!

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