Buh-Bye 2009 & A Look Ahead

Another year, another decade, gone. Seems a lot of people are really glad to see 2009 on its last few hours. Me? Eh, I could take it or leave it. No matter how I look at it, it didn’t suck as much as 2008 did.

Sure, Aaron was still mostly unemployed for all of 2009. And the first half of the year was quite a struggle for us financially. Cordy had a roller-coaster of a summer with camp, and then broke a tooth and had to endure general anesthesia to fix it.

But there were several good things that happened this year, too.

I graduated from nursing school. I got a job. And health insurance for the family again. Our cars continued to function. (Knocking on wood furiously at this point.) Cordy started full-day pre-K and is making a lot of progress. I ran/walked my first 5K and lost 20 lb. with the Shredheads. I got to travel to Blissdom and BlogHer and roomed with some fabulous women. And right before Christmas, Aaron was offered a job that we hope will be an amazing opportunity for him.

Yeah, 2009 wasn’t too bad. But I’d like to think it was a transition year between the suck of 2008 and my wish for a lot of good in 2010.

Resolutions generally aren’t my thing, but if I had to pick one for next year, it would be to find more happiness and balance in my life. While I’m glad that I found a job after graduation and have been able to keep our finances afloat as a result, I’m finding that going back to work hasn’t given me all of the satisfaction I was hoping for. I mean, I like what I do, but my work/life balance is utterly screwed up right now.

I miss my girls fiercely, wanting to be more directly involved in their care like I used to be, yet too tired to be a fully-functioning parent. I’m a zombie on my days off, going through the motions despite my best attempts to wake up. Cordy could use more assistance reinforcing her therapy from school, and Mira needs more help from me with her speech. I used to do those things. I hate not being the mom that my two daughters deserve.

I also want to be better to myself, too. I’m doing far less of the stuff I like, and more of the stuff I have to do. Now, I know that no one can escape the boring responsibilities of adult life, but it shouldn’t completely take over my life, either. I haven’t been blogging as much, I haven’t kept in touch with friends as well as I should, I haven’t given Aaron as much attention as he deserves, and I rarely get to enjoy hobbies I used to love. I’m a shell of my former self.

So 2010 is my journey back to balance. I want to reach the end of 2010 and find myself satisfied with where I am at that point in my life. I have no idea how I’ll get there – whether it be a mental adjustment or more drastic actions – but I will find balance again and find my way back to happy. I’ll have more quality time with my family, I’ll do more I enjoy, my family will be happy as well, and strangely enough, it all turns out well.

How?

I don’t know. It’s a mystery.

Here’s to a fabulous 2010 that will put all previous years to shame for prosperity, joy and greatness.



Happiest Holidays

To all of my friends and readers, happy holidays!

I hope you got everything you wanted this year. I can say with certainty that we did.

Cordy got to meet Santa, loving every minute with him and even interrupting others to go back and give Santa a hug after she opened her gift.


Mira received Thomas the Tank Engine trains, books and even underwear. I think she’s satisfied, don’t you?

Score!

Santa heard my plea and wasn’t about to let me be cut off from my ‘net:

Score!

And Aaron found out two days before Christmas that in the new year he will once again be employed. The new job looks promising, tapping into many of Aaron’s talents, and I hope it will be both interesting and fulfilling for him.

All in all, I’d call it a successful Christmas.

Add to it a lot of good time spent with family, an enormous (and delicious) meal this afternoon, and a lot of excitement, and you can see how Cordy ended the day like this:


What about you? Any good presents/stories to share?



Lady Gaga for Kids?

I think I’m ready to submit my application to the Bad Moms Club.

I can only take so much kid music while driving before I have to switch my iPod to something that isn’t aimed at the preschool set. Which means Cordy is occasionally forced to listen to songs I like in the car. However, she’s never really shown any signs that she’s paying attention to my music. Or at least I thought she wasn’t listening – there’s one song in particular that she’s obsessed with now. A song that she probably shouldn’t like so much.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, she’s indoctrinated her sister, and Mira begs to hear the “Rah-ah-ah” song anytime we get into the car:

Yep, they both love Lady Gaga. And not just that song. Paparazzi, Poker Face, Just Dance – all songs they love to hear. It seems we skipped the Miley Cyrus, slightly-inappropriate-for-preschoolers craze and went straight for the totally inappropriate. They only get to hear it in the car, and neither of them have watched the video, although Cordy has seen photos of Lady Gaga.

The good news is that Mira totally doesn’t understand the lyrics, and Cordy tends to make up her own words to the tune rather than sing what she’s hearing. (Other than constantly singing the “Rah-rah, rah-ah-ah” part, which she does all the time.) I actually think she isn’t listening to the words, but instead likes the beat of the music and the repetition of the rah-ah-ah part.

(There is one pop song she’s learning the words to, but it’s far more G-rated and a song that I’d consider safe for all ages. Also, a great song.)

I guess I can’t be too hard on myself. I remember being a little kid and singing along to Madonna’s Like a Virgin. I didn’t even know what it meant at the time, but hey, it was a catchy song and she was pretty and dressed so cool with 100 jelly bracelets on her arms. And I turned out OK, right? Right?

Note to Lady Gaga – please make a children’s album that’s just as good as your current one. My five year old thinks you’re awesome. And pretty. And she loves how you dress.



Playing Love Games

A conversation that is regularly heard in our household:

“Mira, do you love mommy?”

“Yea! I wuf ma-mee!”

“Do you love Cordy?”

“Yea, I wuf kor-eee!”

“Do you love grandma?”

“Yea, I wuf aaa-maaa!”

“Do you love daddy?”

“No. I don wuf da-eee ei-er(either).”

Of course we all know that Mira loves her daddy. But she has turned it into a game now, and daddy is always the victim, with Cordy occasionally falling onto the No Love list as well. (Usually after Cordy has taken away a toy or told Mira to leave her alone.)

The problem is, it’s constant. And while Aaron tries to not take it personally, it eventually gets to him and it hurts. But Mira rarely relents. She’s a pint-sized Roman emperor, using her love as a prize to be given and withheld as fits her mood. I’m sure she thinks it’s hilarious, although we try to never laugh or let on that we think it’s a game.

There was a period of a week or so where she did tell daddy she loved him, but only after I scolded her and explained I was upset with her for hurting daddy’s feelings. Soon she was back to her old game.

Yesterday there was a twist in her game, though. Out of the blue, she said:

“Da-eee, I don wuf yuuu – HA-Ha-ha!”

Imagine those laughs as staccato evil genius laughs, with a melody going from high pitched on the first HA to softer and lower pitched on the last ha. Aaron and I looked at each other with a mix of horror and humor. We couldn’t help but giggle – she was so proud of the addition of her little evil laugh. Of course, that prompted her to repeat it.

So I still have no solution on how to get her to admit she loves her daddy, but I think some of the tension has been dampened with the addition of her squeaky “HA-Ha-ha!” at the end of her declaration. We never had to deal with this with Cordy. Cordy loves everyone, and at two years old didn’t understand emotions well enough to articulate her love like Mira can.

Hopefully this phase will pass soon.

Mira the Imp


Dear Santa, I Want A New Computer

OK, I know that’s not exactly an easy request. Your toy factory likely hasn’t fully converted to the digital age of electronics, and what conversions you have made are probably overwhelmed with requests for things like XBox, Wii, and iPhones.

And I know I haven’t been as good of a blogger as I could be, but I don’t think I’m on the naughty list yet. I’m still posting once a week, and I’m doing my best to keep my Bloglines under 1,000 unread posts. (Currently 931!) Work has consumed a lot of my time now, but that doesn’t mean my computer has been gathering dust.

Santa, let me present a few reasons why I need my new computer:

1. I bought this laptop to replace the three-day old laptop that was stolen when our house was robbed in 2006. It’s now over three years old. In laptop computer years, that means it’s practically prehistoric. And I’d still like to move on and forget that traumatic moment in my life.

2. My CD-ROM stopped working over a year ago. Generally not a big deal, but every now and then it frustrates me when I can’t upload a CD into iTunes.

3. About two months ago an intermittent grinding/whining noise started coming from my computer. It comes and goes, but occasionally is loud enough to make everyone else in the room stop and stare, thinking What got trapped in your laptop fan and is dying a slow, painful death?

4. Battery power? Ha. This baby lasts less than five minutes on battery. You can’t even finish the start-up sequence before it gives you the low-battery warning and shuts down.

5. Last month my media card reader stopped working. Instead of popping my SD card from my camera into the media card slot to view photos of my adorable children, I now must go through a series of steps that involves the SD card, Aaron’s computer, a flash drive, and my computer.

6. As of yesterday, the computer refuses to hibernate when closed. Instead, it remains on unless I turn it off completely.

7. As if that wasn’t enough, there’s this:


Did I mention I like taking photos of my adorable children?

So, Santa, if you wouldn’t mind, could I please, please, please have a new computer for Christmas? I’ve already used a backup device to save my files, all ready to be transferred to a shiny new hard drive when the times comes. Don’t leave a girl stranded without her technology, Santa.

(No, I’m not begging anyone in particular, other than Santa Claus. I still believe, Santa!)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...