She’s Got A Good Eye For What’s Real

On Saturday we spent the day at the Columbus Zoo for the Family Days at the Zoo event. Despite the rain, we toured all of the booths, played games, and met lots of costumed characters.

Clifford was there, and while she thought he was shorter than in the books, she didn’t doubt it was him.

This guy? Cordy totally thought he was the best pizza slice she’s ever seen.

And the princesses? Cordy was thrilled to meet them and knew them all by name. She loved getting her photo taken with Snow White. (And Spiderman also.)

But then she tugged on Spiderman’s arm, and he crouched down beside her for one more photo. And as soon as Aaron took the photo, she leaned over and said to Spiderman:

“You’re not really Spiderman, you’re just a boy in a costume.”

Busted, Spidey. Better not let Buzz Lightyear find out you’re an impostor or he might just try to blast you with his laser.

PS – I later confirmed with her that Santa Claus? Still real. Whew.



You Take The Good, You Take The Bad, You Take Them Both and Then You Have…

…a lot of suck if you’re us.

(What? You were expecting Facts of Life?)

As usual, things were going far too well to last. I have a new job I love, Aaron really liked his job, and Cordy was on the list for three different schools we liked for kindergaten.

And then we got word early last week that in our school system’s lottery, Cordy didn’t get into any of the schools we wanted for her. None, including her current one. We were disappointed, but we also felt like we still had options. With both of us working, we could consider private school if we had to.

And then Aaron was told in the middle of the week that the volume of work was looking slow for his company, and while they’d love to keep him, there’s just not enough work to go around, and to consider himself laid off as of May 7. He was devastated. Not only about losing a job, but losing a job he really liked, one he planed to stay with for some time to come.

You could argue at this point that we’re cursed. The thought has crossed my mind from time to time. Or you could point out that disappointment is just a learning experience in life. In which case, I think I’ve now got my Bachelors in Life by now, and I’m really OK with not pursuing the PhD.

I was upset by all the bad news last week. It didn’t seem fair – we were making plans to pay off debt and finally get ahead for once. We were prepared to pay for private school to make sure Cordy could get the best education despite her autism. And now our plans have come to a halt again.

I’m not letting myself dwell in disappointment for too long. I don’t have time for that. Aaron will find another job, and hopefully he will enjoy it as much or more than his previous one. I’m a little worried about being without health insurance (again) – my job is a contract, and we had planned that he would get benefits by the end of May. That plan is no longer valid, so we’ll have to look into private plans, because $1700 for COBRA is, well, outrageous.

As for Cordy, I had a little talk with the school district and she will now be allowed to stay at her current school for next year. I had to pull out her IEP and argue on the basis of consistency to make sure her name was on the list, but it worked. (OK, I feel a little guilty at using her special needs to force a spot, but it’s for her good, so why not let it help us for once?)

And the debt we planned to pay off, the home improvements we planned to save for, etc.? It will all happen on a slower timeline now, or in some cases will be put on hold to wait for better times. I won’t dwell on the negative, because that gets us nowhere. Far better to focus my energy on finding new opportunities and plan for the next time the stars align in our favor again.

The facts of our life? Karma seems to enjoy teasing us, but I’ll continue to smile back in response.



Baby Steps Forward

Part of the challenge of starting a new job has been childcare. I’m training on day shift for all of April, and while Mira’s preschool has flexible drop-off and pick-up times, Cordy’s school has a specific start and end. If someone isn’t home when her bus stops at our house, she isn’t let off. (And serious consequences happen at that point.) Right now, no one can be home at that time.

Last week was Spring Break, so we had a little time to find a contingency plan. The solution was latchkey, a program in the school designed to allow working parents to drop their children off early in the morning and/or stay late after school. Latchkey has teachers to provide activities, snacks and supervision for kids of all ages. There was an opening in her school’s latchkey, so with the (cautious) recommendation of her teacher, we signed her up, and her first day was Monday.

I was worried about how it would work out. When we met with the latchkey teacher, I explained Cordy’s issues and ways to work around her challenging behaviors. The teacher explained that as long as Cordy could follow the basic instructions and rules of latchkey, she would do fine. But that was my worry: sometimes the most basic rules are the hardest for her to follow.

Aaron reported that when he dropped her off Monday morning, she was a little resistant to going to the gymnasium and not her classroom. She didn’t want to put her backpack in the designated basket when she knew it belonged on her hook in her classroom across the hall. I hoped the afternoon wouldn’t bring a bad report and have us one step closer to looking for another childcare option.

That afternoon the teacher told us she did well. She had trouble in the afternoon during “homework time” and asked if we could bring in some activity books or coloring books to keep her occupied. No problem – Cordy will spend hours working on an activity book if allowed.

The second day is often harder than the first, but to our surprise Tuesday morning went smoothly. She put her backpack in the basket and didn’t complain at all. In the afternoon, the report was even better. The teacher said Cordy helped her set up the snack table for all of the kids, and was happy to work on her activity book during homework time. Her classroom teacher also said Cordy had a great day at school, too.

I think this might just work.

But school will be out for the summer in less than two months. So my thoughts have turned to summer camp. Trying to find a summer camp that is affordable and will accept Cordy isn’t an easy task. We could send her to the camp she attended last year, but it’s very expensive and the fast-paced schedule for her age group would likely be too much for her to handle. And let’s not even mention the daily swim lessons – I don’t want to relive that nightmare again.

I’m currently researching two summer camps for Cordy. One is a camp for children with varying levels of special needs (kids without special needs are welcome too), with therapists present to help with anything she might need. No worries about her being kicked out. The other is a mainstream Montessori that appears to be welcoming to children with special needs and could be a great way for us to evaluate a different curriculum method for her.

I’m so proud of how hard Cordy works to fit into the world around her. On a very basic level, she’s beginning to understand that she’s not like many kids, and I think it bothers her. Latchkey is just the beginning of introducing her to more mainstream opportunities, and it could be the next link in getting closer to Cordy being fully mainstreamed.

I hope this just might work.

And her sister will always make sure she doesn’t feel alone in being different.


Freeze Frame

Pull out a camera, and Mira immediately wants to cheese it up. And while it gets tedious after awhile, it’s impossible to say no to her. I mean, c’mon, how can you turn down the chance for unlimited close-ups?

Shy smile

Sweet, yet neutral look

Huh? What exactly are you going for here, Mira?

This? This is what I face for the next 16 years.


Not An April Fool’s Day Joke

Something I haven’t had the chance to share here (until now) is that starting today, I’ve got a new job. Yeah, I know, I didn’t really mention anything before today, but that was mostly because I wanted to make sure it was a done deal before shouting it to the heavens.

It’s not that I disliked my other job, because the truth is I really do like mother/infant nursing. I was less comfortable with labors, but I think I rocked the mother/infant part of my job. But it was an hour-long drive. And the 12 hour shifts left me feeling drained, so that even on my days off I felt like sleeping all the time.

More importantly, we’re working to get Cordy involved in more activities and social skills classes. Which requires a lot of after-school time. And money. In my old job, I had to leave for work soon after Cordy got off the bus, leaving no time for these extra activities. Aaron would then take over care of the girls in the evening. It’s hard to take Cordy to therapy when Mira doesn’t appreciate being dragged along.

So it was a hard choice, but an opportunity presented itself that I couldn’t refuse. My new position is here in Columbus and is a short drive from my house. It’s eight-hour days. And it pays much better. In all, it provides everything we need at this time. If I’m going to work full-time, then I might as well make sure it’s the perfect fit for me and my family, right?

I’ll also still be working with moms and babies, only in a less hands-on manner. I’m going to be one of several nurses working on a support hotline for new parents, where parents can call or e-mail with any infant feeding questions, be it breastfeeding, formula feeding, or solids. I’ll know more after my first day of orientation today, but so far everything about this new initiative sounds awesome, and I’m hoping it’ll be a huge success.

Sure, I’ll miss the hands-on care I enjoyed in a hospital setting, and I’m planning to find some occasional work on a mother/infant unit to keep my clinical skills from getting too rusty. But I don’t feel bad about this job change – it was necessary for my family and for me, and everything fell into place so quickly that it felt like it was meant to be.

Wish me luck on my first day!

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