Losing My Hind

Those of you who follow me on Twitter or Facebook may know that I started working out again. And while I had a blast with Hot by BlogHer last year, I wanted to create a more year-round space to document my attempts at good health and losing weight. I haven’t said much about it yet because I wasn’t exactly posting much, and was fighting with myself over how much I wanted to share. Truth is, I need to share this kind of stuff – it helps me keep going.

So if you like reading about more than my two adorable children, be sure to check out Losing My Hind. There’s even a juicy new post today about what a head case I am when it comes to physical activity.



A Tale of Two Girls (and One Dress)

One advantage of having two daughters? Re-using some of the cutest outfits. And then comparing photos of them in said cute outfits.

Today’s dress? A lovely orange and yellow floral dress bought for Cordy by her Aunt Katie.

Now worn by Mira.

(Why must she always give me the “Are you kidding me?” look when I ask her to smile?)

Age difference – almost a year and a half. Cordy wore it at 19 months and it was nearly too tight. Mira now wears it at 3 years old and it’s nearly too tight.

It’s a size 3.

They’re both Amazons in their own way. And yet again I have another dress that I never want to get rid of.



An Entirely Different Summer

Last week was Cordy’s first week of summer camp. I drafted up a supplies list for Aaron to assemble for Cordy, and on Monday he took her for her first day at a school she’s never been to. She protested a little that she didn’t want to go to this summer camp, and she missed her old school, but Aaron kept reminding her that she would have fun at this camp. At least, we hoped she’d have fun at this camp.

When it was time to choose a summer camp, we were down to two choices. One was a special-needs summer camp, where we knew she’d be accepted without question. Her autism would be taken into account and her teachers would be trained to handle any meltdowns or odd behavior. The second camp was a Montessori-based summer camp that would be filled with typical children and could pose a challenge to Cordy. The teachers assured us they had experience dealing with children on the autism spectrum, but the routine was more fluid and therefore it carried the risk of upsetting Cordy’s need for consistency.

We chose the Montessori camp. As has been proven before, if you push Cordy right to the edge of her limits, she often learns from the challenge and grows as a result. I didn’t want her in a special needs camp when I know how easy it is for her to regress. If she’s going to prove to the school system that she deserves to be mainstreamed, then she must start surviving in a class with typical peers.

Of course I was terrified. I remembered last year, when certain teachers in her summer camp made it perfectly clear that they didn’t think she belonged with typical kids. I remember feeling guilty for expecting the teachers to deal with her issues. I only wanted her to have fun and make friends. By the end of the summer, I doubted that she could name any of the kids in her class, and she had been banned from swimming lessons after several meltdowns.

This year? Totally different.

This summer camp reports that she’s a little shrieky at times, but overall is doing really well. They asked early on for tips on how to handle her, and they took our advice to give her plenty of notice before transitions and help her talk through her feelings when she’s upset by a sensory overload. There have been no calls home in the middle of the afternoon. She likes to wear her bathing suit and play in the splashing pools. When Aaron picks her up each day, she’s often playing with other kids. Best of all, she says she wants to go back the next day.

I don’t know if it’s just because she’s older, or if it’s the school’s style of teaching or just great teachers, but so far it’s working. She fits in with the other kids, she’s happy, and there have been no complaints from the teachers about her behavior. I’m hoping this experience will yet again challenge her, helping her grow beyond the anxieties and difficulties she battles everyday.

Who knows? Maybe this summer camp will make it possible to transition her into a mainstream kindergarten even faster?

Either way, knowing she’s having a great summer is one less worry for me, and that makes me happy.

Side note: Those close to me may realize I’m entirely avoiding discussing how I feel about being 34 years old as of yesterday with this post. I had a birthday. I’m a year older. Nothing much to discuss.



Missing: One Blogger’s Personality. Reward If Found.

So, um…yeah.

I’ve had several posts about the kids lately, but what about me?

Hmmm…yeah, what about me?

Truth is, I’ve been stumbling through every day, thinking only as far ahead as the next time I get to sleep and generally not much further than that. When times get tough, I tend to retreat inwards and shell-up, and while times aren’t exactly tough at the moment, my turtle senses apparently have been activated.

I can’t write about work. The nature of my work prevents me from sharing much about it, other than to say I really do enjoy it and have talked to some amazing new parents on the phone. I’ve done a lot of reassuring and a lot of educating, and I hope my words will help these parents find confidence in their own abilities to care for their newborns.

Other than work, my life is kind of lacking at the moment. My spare time is spent sleeping and spending a little time with my family while downing Pepsi Max to keep me awake. Aaron is still unemployed, so I also help him job hunt. When I have time to sit down, I’m zoning out to Netflix or knitting or just reading along with conversations on Twitter and Facebook, unable to find anything to add to the conversation.

How did I become so boring? I don’t even find myself interesting at the moment, so why in the world would I expect you to find me so?

I don’t think I’m depressed – I think I’m just short on time and energy. And I know that lack of time and energy affects my friendships, both online and in person. I’ve yet to figure out how to have it all and do it all, and admire those I know that make it look effortless. I can’t even handle working full-time and remembering to feed the kids – how do others manage to work, keep a clean house, take care of kids AND nurture all of the relationships around them?

Blogging is all about making connections, and I’ve started to feel like my limited availablity has strained some of those connections. Honestly, how hard is it to write a damn e-mail to say hi to people now and then? Surely I can do that much, right? I’ll be at BlogHer, though, and I’m determined to renew some of those connections and friendships, even if it means taking the big step of admitting I’m a lousy friend and apologizing for all of the internet silence of late.

Actually, I’m hoping that while at BlogHer I’ll find the real Christina again. I think she got left behind at BlogHer in Chicago last year, and I’m hoping that she’s resourceful enough to find her way to New York City by early August. I’m not expecting to find her at any private parties or swag suites – after all, this blog’s market value has fallen faster than California real estate prices – but I do expect to find her talking and listening and hugging old friends and greeting new ones and learning from others and sharing what little she knows to benefit others and running with women who helped motivate her to be better and simply enjoying the people she’s surrounded by. (Including way more than I have time to even link here.)

If you see the real me at BlogHer, be sure to say hi to her. I guarantee she’ll be more interesting than this poor excuse for a post. And then remind her that despite all of the challenges of work and family, her ability to craft a good story and be a friend to those around her is desperately needed at home.



Graduation Day

Last week Cordy ended her final year as a preschooler. She had been through two years of half-day special needs preschool, followed by a year of full-day pre-K, and to celebrate a graduation was held for all of the kids in her class.

They all wore baseball caps that said “Class of 2010” and had gold tassels on the top as they entered the classroom and sat down in front of all the parents. The kids gave us a presentation of their talent show performance of “Eight Days a Week” and then the teachers spoke about the progress each child has made over the past year.

 (next lesson: teach Cordy to sit like a lady when wearing a skort)

Each child then received a diploma.

We ended with a tear-inducing slideshow followed by cake. Because cake makes everyone happy.

Next up for Cordy is a mainstream summer camp at a local Montessori school, followed by kindergarten back at her current school. After the massive meltdown she had on the last day of school, I’ll admit I’m a little nervous about how summer camp will go, but I’m trying to remain positive and remember that the Montessori method was designed for kids like her, and she’ll likely have a few rough days at first but will then settle into the routine of a new place.

Cordy’s also on a new medication now. Our two week period of no-meds wasn’t the worst time of our lives, but it certainly wasn’t the best, either. Despite the side-effects of the previous medication, I found myself wanting to call up the doctors and promise to never complain about irritability from the medication again if it meant she’d sit still for a few minutes to read a book or do a math workbook or do anything other than demanding to watch TV every minute of the day. The flapping came back. Her lack of focus was painful to deal with. And I forgot just how out-of-it she could be sometimes.

But after speaking with the doctors, we’re trying a new medication that they feel will reproduce the positive effects of the study medication without the irritability. It’s the safest option of the medications available, with the fewest and least harmful side-effects.

The downside is that if it works, the study will be over in a couple of weeks and we’ll have to find some way to pay for the $180/month medication.

Yep, still no health insurance here. No private insurance will cover autism, remember?

(But OF COURSE we don’t need health care reform in this country. Ahem.)

One option could be to use the old generic of the drug – when it was originally used as a blood pressure medication – which is thankfully inexpensive. But it isn’t an extended release like the newly patented version, so we’d have to give her multiple pills a day (not too big of a problem) and hope it doesn’t create a roller-coaster-like effect throughout the day (could be a big problem) as a result.

So far, we’re seeing modest improvements in Cordy already. She’s back to reading books and doing math problems. She’s drawing again. And while they do still fight like sisters – as any kids would do – she is actually letting Mira play with her sometimes. Another week or so should be enough time to evaluate her response.

I’m being optimistic, but I think that Cordy is going to have an amazing summer of growth. She earned her graduation and I’m confident she’ll continue to impress everyone she meets.

Please, fate, don’t let me have to eat those words.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...