Stuck Between Hip and Hip-Fracture

One of the joys of losing weight is going shopping for new clothing when everything starts getting baggy. (What? Were you unaware I was losing weight? You must not be reading my weight loss blog then!)

Such was my joy this weekend when I went out to Kohl’s for a little “me” time in the evening. I had gift cards from Christmas, I had a coupon, and I was ready to spruce up my wardrobe.

I walked in the door and was immediately distracted by the cute dresses on my right. The pull of ruffles and stripes and soft fabric drew me to the racks as I quickly found myself immersed in spring fashions. Another woman, younger than me, was also browsing in this section.

One top caught my eye, so I started digging through the rack, looking for my size. The other woman was practically right next to me looking at shrug sweaters. Not finding a large, I muttered out loud to myself (because I talk to myself all the time), “Darn, I wish they had this in my size. I doubt a medium would fit.”

The other woman – who really couldn’t have been more than 22 or 23 years old – looked me up and down for a split second, and then replied, “You’d probably find more for you over there,” and nodded across the aisle with a sigh and a withering look on her face.

(Were she 50 years old and southern, she’d probably have added a “well, bless your heart,” to the beginning of that statement. Instead, I got the teen “geez, mom, you’re so out of touch!” tone of voice.)

“Oh, thanks,” I replied, not realizing what she meant. A moment later, it came to me: I was in the Juniors’ section of Kohl’s. The area she was nodding to was the Womens’ part of the store. You know, the area for females who are of a certain age and should be dressing a certain way.

And for just a moment, I was truly embarrassed. I shuffled away from the soft ruffles and left the Juniors’ section to those without wrinkles, hoping no one would point or stare at the old lady thinking she was young again.

I mean, I’m four months away from 35 years old, where I’ll officially be in my “mid-thirties” and can no longer pull off the “early-thirties” label. I don’t plan on wearing an ultra-mini skirt anytime soon, but I didn’t realize that the entire Juniors’ section was off-limits for me.

But I like some of the clothing there. Sure, I won’t be wearing anything that bares my midriff anytime soon, and Juniors’ jeans are simply never going to fit my legs. The tops and dresses, though, are a mixed bag – some are really cute, and while most aren’t work appropriate, I could see wearing them on a casual Saturday afternoon, out with friends, or even to a blog conference. No inappropriate baring of skin, no squeezed into something like a sausage – just trendy ruffles and floral prints and clothing cut in a way that makes me feel happy. 

To be fair, I like some of the clothing in the Womens’ section, too. This is not a rant against matronly clothing for those of us who can’t like Justin Bieber without it feeling kinda creepy. I buy most of my clothing from that area of the store, to be honest. I just don’t see why I should feel guilty shopping in the Juniors’ section as well.

So tell me: is a thirty-something mom of two considered too old for clothing from a Juniors’ section, or does Miss Teen Fashion Police need to zip it and let women shop where they want?



The Pioneer Woman, Ice Cream, and a Sick Kid All In One Weekend

Some weekends are short, and then some fly by so quickly that you barely had time to process everything that happened before you found yourself sitting at your desk at work again.

This weekend was one of the second.

It wasn’t a wholly bad weekend. And it wasn’t a wholly awesome weekend. But somehow it was a combo of both, with no hint of mediocre anywhere to be found.

First, the bad:

Friday started off with a beautiful afternoon and the promise of spending a few hours with my husband before the kids got home from school. That plan vanished when the school called to report Mira had thrown up and we needed to come get her.

Let the Vomit-fest 2011 commence!

Mira was fine the remainder of the day. Ate dinner, was mostly herself, went to bed with no problems. Then at 2:30am I heard her crying and found she had vomited in bed. Stripped & remade the bed, changed her, calmed her down and put her back to bed. 3:30am – lather, rinse, repeat. And then 5:00am, when I was out of sheets for her bed, Aaron took her downstairs to sleep on the couch while I started the laundry and then got a little more sleep.

It’s now Monday, and Mira just got off that couch. Other than going to the bathroom, she didn’t leave that couch for 48 hours. Poor kid seemed better on Saturday morning, but then by mid-day made it clear that even small sips of water couldn’t be kept down. Saturday was nothing more than fitful periods of sleep and vomiting. And like a bad, bad mother, I missed most of it, because I had a full day already planned. (In my defense, Aaron insisted I keep my plans for the day and he’d take care of Mira.)

Sunday morning was difficult, because I had to weigh our options of what to do for Mira. Take her to an urgent care, where they might insist on IVs, blood tests and meds that would leave us in major debt thanks to no health insurance, or keep her at home and take the risk that she might not get better on her own? Money is no factor if she genuinely needs help, but I’ve been through my share of stomach bugs to know that many times you just have to wait them out. And, well, I’m a nurse – I know what the danger signs of dehydration are and when we can’t wait any longer.

So we waited. I stroked her hair as she slept with her head in my lap, and I waited for her to guide me towards which direction I should take. And by Sunday afternoon she was keeping down small sips of Pedialyte and behaving more like herself. By Sunday evening she was asking for food, although we kept to the Pedialyte regimen. And then she slept through the night with no more vomiting. Whew.

Two things. One: I never want to repeat that again. Two: why do kids always seem to get really sick on the weekend, when the doctor isn’t in her office?

And then the awesome:

Momo had tweeted me earlier in the week that Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman, was coming to town for her book signing, and she was organizing plans for dinner afterward. We know a lot of the same people, but I’ve never had the privilege of talking with Ree, so I was thrilled to be invited along.

I was also secretly terrified that she’d hate me, because she’s all…uh…domestic, and I’m, well, not. I burn water, people.

But the truth is, Ree is funny, smart, and so very easy to talk with. Not once did I feel uncomfortable around her. (OK, maybe a little jealous of her tremendous flexibility – she can get her leg behind her head!) She blended right in with the local gang as we talked, laughed and drank wine late into the night.

Oh yeah, we’d had some wine by this point…

We all had a fantastic dinner at Northstar Cafe (omg, try their veggie burger!), followed by dessert next door at Columbus’s own Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams, with a personal tour by Jeni herself.

Ree is in awe of the ice cream goodness. I’m in the back about to pass out from so many yummy choices.

Side note: I am completely in love with Jeni’s ice cream, and was crazy proud that we could introduce Ree to our hometown best. Not only is it delicious, it’s all-natural, with many ingredients locally-sourced (including milk and cream from Snowville Creamery), and every flavor is safe for Cordy to eat. She’s not just limited to vanilla at Jeni’s, even if she prefers vanilla.

Columbus locals, if you haven’t had Jeni’s yet, you are hereby ordered to report to your nearest Jeni’s location and eat ice cream. Meyer Lemon Yogurt is my favorite, but if you hurry you might get to try Ylang Ylang Honeycomb before the season passes.

Dinner and ice cream and hanging out with some amazing women made it one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. It all went by too quickly, and I already miss those conversations and all of that laughter. I’m glad to have met Ree, and thankful to her for giving us all a reason to gather and share an awesome evening together.

Love.


Blissdom Bloggy Love

I’m still coming down from my Blissdom high as I settle back into real life. The one thing that really frustrates me about going to blog conferences is that I always miss the people when I come back home. I’ve made some great friends through blogging, as well as met so many interesting people, and coming back home only reminds me that I live so far away from most of them and can’t have those inspiring conversations every week.

(I still love all of my local friends, too. Don’t want you to think that you have to live 100+ miles away for me to love you.)

So today I just want to share with all of you some of the people who made Blissdom extra special for me. If you don’t already know some of these women, be sure to click through and visit them.

Heather at Domestic Extraordinaire – Heather is one of my best blog friends, and I’m always happy for the chance to spend time with her. Considering we’ve endured 2 road trips to Blissdom and the nightmare Amtrak experience from BlogHer together and still like each other, I’d say that’s true friendship. Anytime I see her at a conference, I know I don’t need to put up any pretenses – I can just be myself around her.

Cecily at Uppercase Woman – Cecily is someone I had the privilege of getting to know better at Blog World in Las Vegas back in October. I admire her strength and her unwavering determination to be exactly who she wants to be and create her own happiness no matter the circumstance. And at Blissdom I especially admired her mad make-up skills (that she provided for me when I begged): she can create a “smokey eye” better than anyone I know. She’s beautiful inside and out.

Lisa at Condo Blues – Lisa was my Blissdom roomie, as well as someone I’ve been friends with since before the invention of blogging. (You know, back when it was called keeping a journal.) She also served as my flight partner and put up with my snoring without complaint. When I needed reassurance before stepping out the door of our hotel room, she was there to provide it.

Lia at Mama’s Starting Over – The greatest and most pleasant shock at Blissdom came when Lia sent me a Facebook message telling me she was on her way to Nashville. It was awesome to hug an old blog friend and spend some time catching up. Our lives have taken some dramatic turns in the past few years, and I was so happy to see her doing well.

Casey at Moosh in Indy – She makes me laugh, she makes me wish I could be as cool as her, and she let me touch her pregnant belly. No one makes pregnant look as good as her. She also shared her drugs with me, for which I’m eternally grateful.

Mishi at Secret Agent Mama – I trust this lovely woman enough to let her into my hotel room so that she could take pictures of me wearing next to nothing. She always has a smile, and she makes everyone feel welcome.

Carmen at Mom to the Screaming Masses – Simply one of the most beautiful women I know, and my fitness role model. I have no idea how she does it all, but I’m glad that she carved out enough time to come to Blissdom!

Lisa at St. Louis Family Life – Another old blog friend (not that she’s old – just that she’s a blogging old-timer like me!) that I wasn’t expecting to see. I’m so glad she patiently waited for me to finish talking with a Jockey representative (had to get my free workout gear, right?) and made sure to say hi. It felt great to talk with her again, and she introduced me to other St. Louis bloggers I can’t wait to get to know better.

Elizabeth at BusyMom – This woman is funny. And I mean ALWAYS funny. OK, maybe we had some serious conversations about the nursing profession, but no one else heard them so I have no proof that a serious conversation with her existed. But I’m thankful for those moments I did get to talk with her, whether serious or not.

Diane at Momo Fali – Yes, she’s a local, and yet we seem to only see each other when we travel hundreds of miles to conferences. (We need to work on that.) Not only can we compare stories of living in Columbus, but if you’re scared of flying, there’s no one better to fly scared with. Our flight home was all the better at each of us sucking in air in unison when the plane hit a bump of air.

Anissa at FreeAnissa – If ever I start to feel a dark mood coming on, or find myself feeling like the uncool kid at the party, I just need to find Anissa. She’ll give me a smile, a hug, and crack an inappropriate boob joke and suddenly everything is better.

OK, I’m running out of steam, but there are so many others I’d love to mention, too: Aimee who made room for me at lunch one day, Hannah who bought me one too many drinks and can dance ’til dawn, Emily who gave me one of her much-coveted Diet Cokes, and the list goes on and on and on.

Not only am I enough, but so are each of these brilliant women. You’re all perfect.



I Am Enough

I survived Blissdom.

Actually, it would be more accurate to write I thrived at Blissdom. More than once during the conference I found myself saying, “This is bliss.” From the beautiful setting of the Opryland hotel, to the chair massages and manicures, to the lobster bisque provided in the expo area, to seeing and spending time with so many women I love and respect, it was a wonderful experience.

The first post I write post-conference is always hard. I’ve been surrounded by so much talent for days that I’m both inspired and intimidated when I stare at the blank New Post screen. So much I want to say, and yet so much anxiety that I could never say it as well as others and never will be able to match them in their gift for the written word.

This time, however, I had the privilege of listening to Brene Brown during the opening keynote. Thanks to her wise words I was given a new outlook on being vulnerable, and found comfort in the simple phrase, “I am enough.”

Because let’s face it: I’ve never been enough. My entire life has been filled with not being enough. I was a smart child, but I wasn’t quite a genius, so it wasn’t good enough for some who were supposed to have loved me. I was socially awkward, which wasn’t good enough for my peers. I wasn’t enough for someone to love with all of their heart, and so I was cheated on in relationships. It was easy to internalize all of those messages into one great big feeling of inadequacy, knowing there was always someone who was better at anything I did.

Those feelings of shame are good at building a protective little cocoon around a bruised and battered ego. But in doing so, the real person gets buried deep behind the protective walls, barricaded against vulnerability. Turns out, though, being vulnerable can be kind of freeing. Being vulnerable lets your unique light shine through to everyone. And in listening to Brene Brown speak, I came to a conclusion that I’ve been working towards for years now: I don’t have to live up to the expectations of others, or live in anyone’s shadow. I can be enough for me and for those who matter the most to me.

I want to be more vulnerable, to worry less about how others see me and more about how I see my progress towards my own happiness. It’s a big step to take, having hidden so many of my quirks for so long as I tried to conform to everyone else’s ideals. But I have a very quirky autistic daughter. Cordy is quickly reaching an age where she will become aware of just how different she is. I don’t want her to suffer through shame as she forces herself to conform and then fails to reach the gold standard of “good enough” to everyone else. I want her to be happy with herself, and that will be a hard message to teach if I can’t walk the walk myself.

It’s not too often that you come home from a blogging conference with a new outlook on life. I’m looking forward to what I can discover about myself.

Dare to be stupid. (Thank you, Weird Al.) Dare to fail. It’s time to stop being scared of what others will think. Welcome to my blog, folks. I don’t promise enlightenment from reading this, and I don’t even promise you’ll like me. But that’s OK. I can’t be everything to everyone.

I am enough.



The Pre-Conference Freak Out

The past few days I’ve been in pre-conference mode, scurrying around here and there trying to get everything in place before I leave for the Blissdom Conference in Nashville, Tennessee. This involves a lot of last minute personal prep, including hair cut, eyebrow wax, and wardrobe selection (aka: OMG I have NOTHING to WEAR!) as well as laundry, grocery shopping, and last minute checks to make sure the family will get by while I’m away.

Yes – I do trust my husband to keep things running while I’m gone. But if I can make it a little easier for him, I will. Because no matter how hard he tries, I know he’ll still have to encounter resistance from Mira, who will miss her mommy with the fire of a thousand suns and give him enough attitude to fill an entire preschool classroom. She loves her daddy, but Mira is totally mommy’s girl.

Although I will be sure to leave him a reminder list a mile long, too. Not because I don’t trust him, just because he’s not as neurotic as me. He doesn’t walk the house twice each night making sure every door is locked. Or make sure the fireplace is off after going to bed when he can’t remember for certain that he did turn it off. Or peek in on the girls to make sure they didn’t come up with some fire hazard in their room before going to sleep.

What? You mean all moms don’t do that?

Truthfully, I have far greater fears over the next few days. First, I’m terrified that I’m going to look awful at Blissdom. These conferences are filled with so many beautiful women, and it’s easy for me to get intimidated because 1. I have no sense of fashion and therefore am often under dressed, and 2. have no ability to apply makeup without making myself look like a clown. You’d think that after attending so many conferences I’d have this down by now, but alas, it’s not yet the case. (Although in my defense, I’ll add that I’m getting better at it!)

I’d say I’m also afraid of the intense social interaction coming my way, but that’s really not the case. Sure, I’ll still have a lot of social anxiety, but I do a great impression of looking calm on the outside when I’m nervous on the inside. Past conferences have helped me master my social anxiety, and other than a little bit of conference-ADD, I’m usually pretty good at striking up a conversation. Just don’t ask me to remember your name – I’m lousy at names.

But my greatest fear is having to get on a plane Wednesday morning. I’m completely breaking my own rules about flying for this year’s Blissdom. My rules for flying are simple: no flying anywhere I couldn’t drive in a reasonable amount of time. Reasonable usually includes anything in a 12 hour radius, sometimes 16 depending on how long I’ll be staying while I’m away. I have never liked flying, will never like it, and will always take any steps to minimize

Nashville is only a 6 hour drive, and I had every intention to drive it. Then I realized that driving it would require me to take another day off work. (And my vacation days are unpaid – that’s expensive!) And then I realized it costs $18 a day to park at Opryland, which combined with the gas to get there is also expensive. And THEN I saw that I could fly there for $49 each way – NOT expensive!

So I’m ashamed to say that the almighty dollar is apparently stronger than my convictions against flying. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Anyway, to those I’ll be seeing in Nashville – take pity on me if I look like a Midwestern rodeo clown, and I look forward to us having a great time. And to those I won’t be seeing at Blissdom – know that I wish you could all be there with me!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...