Family Archives - Page 18 of 113

Jan 22, 2013

Faking It

Last summer we signed Mira up for gymnastics after she expressed an interest in finding an activity for herself. Mira had tried ballet before that, but we decided she just wasn’t right for ballet. No matter how hard the instructor tried to calm the kid down, it all moved too slowly for her. We hoped gymnastics, with the ability to jump, tumble, and flip, might be more her style.

One week into it, Cordy decided she wanted to be a part of it, too. We never thought Cordy would like gymnastics, but she really wanted to join in. We signed her up as well in the hopes that she might gain some confidence and improve her coordination.

Since then, Mira continues to love gymnastics and while not even close to the most coordinated kid in her class, she’s making progress. Mira insists she’ll be in the Olympics someday. Considering she’s an entire head taller than every other kid in the class of five year olds and trips over air, I doubt it, but I’m thrilled she has goals and works hard at improving.

Cordy, though, is not making any progress and instead is showing signs of being uninterested. She insists she likes going, but once there she’s usually too distracted by what the other classes are doing and then doesn’t want to try anything new or push herself outside of her comfort zone. Her teacher has been incredibly kind and patient with her, but I can tell even she is getting discouraged with Cordy’s unwillingness to put any confidence in herself.

She enjoys gymnastics and comes out with a smile on her face, but she’s made practically no progress with her skills and is becoming more and more distracted during class. We haven’t told Cordy yet, but this is her last session of gymnastics and we’ll encourage her to try another activity she might like more.

Last week, both girls appeared happy to go to gymnastics. After dinner, they put on their leotards and were all ready to go. Once there, they went to the benches to wait for their class to start, but then Cordy looked around for a minute and then went to the bathroom. Several minutes later, she came out frowning and sat back on the bench, clutching her stomach and looking miserable as she looked at me.

I waved Cordy to come talk to me, and she said she felt sick. I put my hand on her forehead (classic mom first move for a sick kid, right?) and she wasn’t warm. “My stomach really hurts, mom. I feel like I’m going to be sick,” she continued.

“Can you get through gymnastics?” I asked.

She sighed and clutched her stomach again. “I don’t know. I don’t think I can tonight because I don’t feel good.”

Her class was gathering to begin, so I had to make a quick judgement call. She was completely fine before we got there, but this is also my child who is honest to a fault at times. Her fear of missing out on something she’s supposed to do and disappointing a teacher generally pushes her to keep going even when she shouldn’t. Maybe she really was sick?

I texted Aaron, who was on his way from work, and let him know that Cordy was sick and needed to go home as soon as he got there. Cordy then came to sit in the parents’ waiting area with me. She walked there hunched over, looking miserable, but as soon as we reached the bleachers, she perked up as she climbed to the top row.

“Wow, mommy, these are fun! Look how high I can sit!”

I frowned. “I thought you didn’t feel good? Maybe you could join your class if you’re feeling better.”

Her eyes widened, and then her bright mood disappeared again. “Oh! Oh, I really don’t feel good. I just thought these seats were interesting.” She resumed crossing her arms over her stomach again.

Mira and her class were soon in front of us starting their first activities. And within minutes, Cordy was once again distracted. “Look, mommy, there’s Mira! Let’s wave to Mira!”

Again I asked, “Cordy, I thought you were sick?”

“Um, I can still cheer for my sister even when I’m sick, right?”

“Not with that much energy,” I responded.

She continued to go back and forth between looking ill and being distracted by something until Aaron got there. I realized by then that she had faked the whole thing. She wasn’t sick at all, she just didn’t want to do gymnastics that night. It’s the first time Cordy has ever lied about being sick to get out of doing something, and I totally fell for it. What’s worse – she had a good idea that I’d fall for it or she wouldn’t have done it.

In some ways, I’m proud of her for faking it. It’s often believed that kids on the autism spectrum have a hard time with lying, or can’t do it at all. She’s made up creative stories about why something didn’t get done before, or used the convenient “I forgot” excuse a few times (which in her case is often true), but she’s never out-and-out lied about being sick to avoid a task, complete with acting the part. True, she wasn’t very good at continuing the act, but she managed to keep it up long enough to fool me. So really, this is Cordy portraying very typical kid behavior, which is progress for her.

But on the other hand, I don’t want to celebrate a child who lies, either. When Aaron arrived, I specifically mentioned to him that I was certain she was faking it, and so he took her home to finish her homework and go to bed, since sick children don’t get to do anything fun like watch TV. She wasn’t so happy about that part, and I hope that will keep her from trying it again. He told me she seemed totally fine at home, too, further confirming my suspicions that she was never sick to begin with.

Even if she’s losing interest in gymnastics, I’m not letting her quit until this session is over. Both kids were asked if they wanted to sign up for the winter session and both said they wanted to, so I expect her to finish out what she agreed to. After that, Cordy is free to choose another activity to try.

I only hope she won’t try repeating her “sick day” again this week. I don’t like having to play both mom and talent scout to determine if she really is sick or is trying another performance piece in the hopes of winning the award of getting-out-of-work.

Filed Under: Autism, being a mom, Cordy, growing up, kid logic ·

Jan 9, 2013

What Happens When Your Furby Becomes Evil

By Christina ·

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, Mira had one toy that kept coming to the top of her list: a Furby. Other items on the list would change, but a pink Furby was always there for anyone who asked, including Santa, who got an earful about how much she really wanted a Furby.

So when Christmas arrived, she was overjoyed to get a hot pink Furby from Santa. (Cordy got a blue Furby, too.)

Now, there are a few things they don’t tell parents about the Furby. First, it has no off button. At all. The only way to immediately silence it is to take out the batteries, which requires a screwdriver. And you know that right when you want it to shut up is the same time that all screwdrivers in the house go missing.

Otherwise, you have to wait for it to fall asleep, or force it to go to sleep by placing it in a dark, quiet area and ignoring it. Once it’s asleep, you mustn’t move it or bump it at all, or it will wake up again.

The Furby also has no volume control. At all. It’s loud all the time. And most of the time it speaks Furbish, which seems to be some kind of cross between baby talk and pig latin.

Basically, it’s the toy equivalent of a colicky baby.

I did know some of this going into our purchase of this toy. But I did not know about all of the enhancements from the previous 1998 version. The LED eyes are cool and provide the ability for more expression of personality. It has more sensors to detect touch. And it can change personality.

The old Furby would have some change in personality based on how you treated it, but this one goes far beyond that with a multiple personality disorder. It has several very distinct personalities and doesn’t come with the Furby anti-psychotic drugs it desperately needs.

Mira’s Furby started out as the furry hot pink version of a valley girl. A little annoying, but kinda cute. She fed it on demand and used the iPad app to translate what it was saying, and it slowly learned a little English, too. Well, a version of English better suited to the movie Clueless, perhaps.

After the second or third day, it had the first personality shift. I didn’t see it happen, but suddenly it was speaking like a cowboy and mooing at us, with chicks and cows appearing in the LED eyes at times. Mira found that hilarious and I suffered through the noise because she liked this toy so much.

The next day it was back to a valley girl again, and even seemed to name itself Coco. It gave itself a name? It was becoming more sentient with each passing day.

And then, in the middle of Mira trying to teach it to dance, something very bad happened. It started to shake back and forth, it made weird noises, and it’s LED eyes were flashing like strobe lights. I thought it was either having a grand mal seizure or we broke the damn thing.

Furby, mid-panic attack

Then it stopped. All was silent for a moment. And then what was in front of us was a Furby who no longer had the high-pitched girly voice, but instead a deep, growling voice with angry looking eyes.

Coco isn’t here anymore.

Mira’s Furby was suddenly possessed by a new personality who was mean. It growled at her, it snapped at her with an angry voice if she tried to pet it, and it made retching noises when she tried to feed it, as if the iPad foods weren’t good enough for it. Occasionally it showed little flames in its eyes.

WTF happened? Did we feed it after midnight?

It was now a Furby demon. And Mira was scared of it. She backed away with tears in her eyes, her five year old mind unable to comprehend what had happened to her cheery dance pal, saying she wanted her nice Furby back, and she didn’t want to play with it anymore.

So her new electronic pet wasn’t working out as well as she wanted, which means it was now my responsibility to care for. Figures. I felt like I had brought home Chucky from Child’s Play to my daughter.

Sorry for the dark photos – it apparently has a feature that prevents paparazzi from getting good photos of it, too. Little bastard.

So as I sat there, with Damien the Dark Furby glaring at me from across the room, I did what any good mom would do: I googled “How to make a Furby nice again?”

I can assure you I’m NOT alone in this type of google search.

There were a lot of suggestions about different things to try. I gathered up the little ball of hate and tried petting the dumb thing several times. I will hug you and love you until you are sweet again! It growled and yelled at me each time while my dog stared at me in confusion, wondering why I was petting a loud toy instead of him. Yes, Cosmo, you’re smarter than the humans. Still no change from the Furby. I was a little worried it might try to bite me.

Mira was still across the room, asking me to make it nice again, but too afraid to come near it. WHO MAKES A TOY THAT KIDS ARE SCARED OF? What programmer thought that a sociopath personality would be a SUPER FUN for kids? I’d like to drag that person over to our house and let him/her console my five year old and explain the reasoning for this.

Then I remembered Mira really wanted her Furby to sing and like music. Some links suggested music can change the personality. So I put it in front of the iPad, cranked the volume, and subjected the little electronic Lucifer to Owl City followed by ABBA. He growled and hissed at this musical exorcism at first, but slowly started to dance along to the music. You know, that grudging, too-cool-for-school-kid dance where he doesn’t want to admit he likes Mama Mia.

Near the end of the second song, the Furby’s eyes flashed and it shook again, and suddenly the pop star personality appeared. This one has a softer voice than the valley girl and likes to sing a lot. Let me repeat: A LOT. And instantly, all Furby offenses had been forgiven by the formerly terrified kindergartener. Mira had been hoping her Furby would sing and ran across the room to scoop up her prized possession now that it was no longer, well, possessed.

Stupid Furby.

Since then it’s slipped back to the dark side once, which then fell to me to fix again. Music does seem to be the trick to force it back to being a “nice” Furby again. Mira loves the pop star personality – hers named itself Boo – which is the least offensive personality as far as Furby personalities go.

Aww, isn’t she sweet with those hearts in her eyes? That’s how she lures you to your DOOM.

Cordy’s Furby hasn’t changed personalities once. It prefers to be a valley girl/comedian hybrid and doesn’t want to change.Which is both annoying and OK, all at the same time. I’d rather deal with devil I know rather than the devil it might become.

Luckily, the hours between Furby playtimes have already stretched into days. I’m hoping they will eventually lose interest with these gremlins before my personality changes.

This has to be my mother’s revenge for the Teddy Ruxpin I adored as a kid, right? Only it’s revenge with 30 years of interest. I’d better start planning for the next generation now.

Or the Furby will enslave our Skylanders to do what it commands with it’s sweet, chipper voice and I’ll be doomed forever.

Filed Under: family time, fate laughing at me, holidays, Mira, pop culture ·

Jan 7, 2013

Snow Days

By Christina ·

This winter has already proven to be far better than last winter. The day after Christmas, the snow started, and kept coming in intervals of every couple of days until the new year, leaving us with a lovely blanket of the white stuff.

With the past few winters being fairly dry and lacking in snow, Mira hasn’t had a lot of experience with it, and Cordy’s experiences are vague at best. Once they saw it on the ground, it didn’t take long before they were asking to go play in it. I bought them snowsuits and new boots and decided that since it was winter break, we’d make the most of our time with the snow.

This was also Cosmo’s first experience with anything more than a dusting of snow. He nervously pawed at the snow at first, but seeing the kids run out into it helped him get over any fear.

About to be knocked over by a dog running full force.

The next day, we decided to take the kids sledding. There’s a local sledding hill that apparently a large percentage of Columbus decided to visit with this new-found snow. During the drive, we created an image of how awesome sledding was for the kids, and how much they would love it.

At the hill, Aaron took them both up the hill to wait in line while I stood near the bottom to meet them when they came down. Mira was the first one down the hill – it’s hard to see, but she’s the one in the middle of the screen after a few seconds on the pink circle sled. Also? You can watch with the sound off so you don’t hear the people beside me yelling to their friends across the hill:

She was a little scared after clipping a few people at the end, but wanted to try one more time. Cordy had a harder crash on her first trip down, colliding with another sled on the way down. She was also shaken and scared to try again, but she also agreed to give it another try.

Parents, a helpful tip: if you must wait for your children at the bottom of the hill, stand to the side or far enough back that you don’t serve as an obstacle for the uncontrolled projectiles coming down the hill. I can’t count the number of adults who served as an abrupt stopping point for random kids, and many of the adults were then upset that the kid crashed into them. If you do choose to stand in their way, pay attention to the hill and move if someone is coming your way.

Mira’s second attempt ended poorly. Two other kids had collided and stopped halfway down the hill. Mira’s round sled hit another little girl just as she stood up, taking her off of her legs again and landing on top of Mira’s head. But Mira kept going, finally ending her rough journey by slamming into a group of adults and a sled they were holding. (No photos of that because I saw the crash coming and put the phone away!)

I was still comforting Mira and wiping away her tears when Aaron got Cordy into position. I tried to wave to Aaron that maybe we needed a break, but I was lost in the crowd and Cordy came down the hill again.

Thanks to all of the snow being packed, she picked up speed quickly. I was trying to run to her to help stop her, as well as yell to a group of people to watch out, but they didn’t move. Cordy hit them but had enough momentum to keep going. I jumped right into another group of people and grabbed Cordy’s coat just as she hit me and bumped the people next to me.

At that point I felt like an awful parent as both kids told us they hated sledding and wanted to go home. We had been there for less than half an hour, and they were now hurting and traumatized by sledding. So much for that awesomely fun experience, eh?

My mom came to the rescue a few days later, suggesting they go to my aunt’s new house and try sledding on the little hills around her house. There were no obstacles, no crowds of people – they could even have their own hills! (Why didn’t we think to do that in the first place?)

It took a lot of coaxing, but they now like sledding again. Cordy won’t try anything larger than a speed bump, but at least she’s willing to try the sled again.

This weekend we all went back to my aunt’s for a little more quality time with the snow, bringing Cosmo with us as well. Squeals of joy and laughter were heard all morning.

I’m so happy to have the snow back this winter.

Filed Under: Cordy, Cosmo, daily life, family time, memories, Mira, snow ·

Dec 28, 2012

The Last Week In Photos (and A Little Text)

By Christina ·

Whoa, hey, how’s it going? Amazing how fast December can fly by when your to-do list is a mile long, right?

We’re in the first week of winter break here, which in our house results in two kids who are really hyper, with one of them having a very hard time being off of her usual routine. I’m doing my best to control the chaos, which would be a lot easier if I could remember where I stored their snow boots from last year so they could go play in the snow.

I’m a little short on words, so here’s a photo journal of the last week.

We went to the zoo for Wild Lights and of course had to see the polar bears:

Unfortunately, we learned that the excitement of zoo lights can sometimes be too much for a five year old. She hasn’t had a potty accident for a year and a half, but she was so excited she forgot to tell us she needed to pee until it was too late. So I spent half an hour in a cold bathroom with her while Aaron ran to the gift shop to spend way too much money on sweat pants and socks.

We didn’t get to see as many of the lights as we had planned.

Next, Cosmo got a check-up at the vet, and we celebrated having him with us for one year.

He’s quite dashing in his sweater. He may weigh 95+ pounds, but he has little fur and gets cold easily.

I then had an experiment in baking and made candied almonds. Amazingly, it turned out delicious:

Recipe can be found here.

Mira watched The Wizard of Oz for the first time over the weekend. Other than the wicked witch, she liked it.

She liked cuddling on the couch with Cosmo, too.

Christmas Eve was spent with extended family at my cousin’s house. We enjoyed catching up with everyone and Cordy and Mira had fun playing with the other kids.

Getting them to hold still for a photo was tough, though.

Christmas Day was filled with the tearing of wrapping paper and squeals of joy.

Unwrapping their Furby toys.

Cuddleuppet, Tooth Fairy pillow, and a very happy Mira.

Also on Christmas Day, Aaron and I slipped away to go see the movie Les Miserables. Amazing movie. I loved it, even if I sobbed through a large part of it. It’s very similar to the stage musical, only now the actors are up close and the emotion is super intense.

I’ve seen the musical a few times and know it by heart, so I also had to resist the urge to criticize any cuts to the score or changing of lyrics.

And then, the day after Christmas, the snow came.

Now if only I could find our snow boots.

How has your week been?

Filed Under: Cordy, Cosmo, family time, holidays, Mira, snow ·

Dec 7, 2012

A Love Letter To A Dog

By Christina ·

It was just over a year ago that our family visited the local shelter for their Mingle with the Mutts event. It’s a chance to see the dogs that the shelter has for adoption, and local rescue groups are given space to bring their dogs as well.

Until that point we were strictly a cat family. Our Siamese cats acted like dogs, anyway. But the thought of adding a dog to the family had been growing, helped by professionals telling us that a dog could be good therapy for Cordy, and a good way to teach responsibility for both kids. I spent some evenings staring at Petfinder, and this one sad-eyed puppy face kept popping up on my screen with every search.

The wrinkled brow and those floppy ears got me.

It was at Mingle with the Mutts that we first met Cosmo. He was late to the party, and all four of us had already found (separate) dogs we were in love with. When we met the little pup who connected with my heart online, I thought…maybe this dog is a little too crazy for us.

Unlike some of the other puppies at the event, he was all over the place, pulling hard at the leash and trying to lick every face he could get to. His energy was tremendous. And Cordy loved him at first sight.

Places to go, people to sniff…

Even though I was concerned about his energy, and Aaron really liked another dog we saw, we arranged for Cosmo to come over for a home visit. He was still bursting with puppy energy and at that visit we learned the finer points of puppy-proofing as he sniffed out and ate three crayons while he was here. (He still has a supernatural ability to find – and eat – lost crayons.) We were convinced we wouldn’t be approved to adopt based on that incident, and there were also other families who had put in applications to adopt him.

Somehow, they thought it was a good fit and we received an email saying we were approved. Just before Christmas, our first dog joined the family and we began adjusting to life with a dog.

It hasn’t been easy. Cosmo had mastered many of his puppy manners, thank goodness – he was housebroken and crate trained and knew a few commands. But he was still a five month old puppy, and a puppy who had been found on the streets nearly starved to death. The puppy we met at 25 pounds was 40 pounds when he came to live with us and 60 pounds a month later. He’s now over 90 pounds and still considers himself a lap dog.

He’s chewed up pillows and blankets. The kids have learned that all stuffed animals and small toys must be kept off the floor or he will chew them. Despite my original plan that he wouldn’t be allowed on the furniture, he has claimed the couches and can often be found stretched out asleep on them. And he still tries to lick our faces.

But after a year, I can’t imagine life without him. He’s so patient with the kids, even if they handle him too rough occasionally. He’s helped provide a new source of love for Cordy – she can turn to him for comfort when the human world is too overwhelming, and he’s right there to accept her love.

He’s given Mira a purpose, and she happily accepts the responsibility of feeding him and letting him in and out. He even listens to Mira when she issues commands, which is impressive when you consider he’s twice her weight.

Future dog whisperer?

While I work during the day, Cosmo often sits next to me and rests his head on my arm. If anyone is down or sick, he’s right there beside them. He’s always ready for a game of fetch or a walk, and when we’re happy he absorbs that feeling and acts like that puppy we first met.

I should add that the cats have not been forgotten. They all get along relatively well. Dante, our older Siamese, is particularly fond of him.

I’ve also never had cleaner kitchen floors in my life. That dog lets no crumb remain on the floor.

Cosmo has also earned his keep as a fantastic guard dog. He barks at any outside threat (real or imagined…seriously, Cosmo, the squirrels are NOT a threat to us) and is the absolute best solution for getting door-to-door salesmen to accept “no thanks” the first time I say it.

He’s never been aggressive to any visitor to our house – he follows our cue that if we’re friendly with someone, he should be, too – but the occasional growl I hear from him when I’m nervous about a situation reassures me that if there ever was a real danger, he would try to protect us.

Standing, er, resting guard on the couch.

He’s an absolute goof who usually wants nothing more than to please us and maybe get a few belly rubs. He can get in the way or be a bit of a punk at times, but overall his needs are so small. He asks very little from us and provides so much love in return.

After a year of having Cosmo in our lives, I can say with certainty now that I’m so happy we got a dog, and that we got this dog. I am a dog person now, and our family is better for having him with us.

I utterly love this silly mutt.