While buying baby food yesterday – something I do at least twice a week, thanks to the bottomless pit we refer to as Mira – I found myself rummaging around looking for more organic choices. I usually don’t buy Gerber organic, but that’s all there was at this particular grocery. There weren’t many organic jars, so I chose a few non-organic jars as well.

Yeah, I know, it would be cheaper to make my own baby food, but I’m lazy and can’t even melt chocolate without nearly setting my kitchen on fire, so a little leeway, OK?

And then, when I got home and lined up the jars to put them away, I noticed it:

No, not my spotless stovetop (See? No cooking!) – look at the jars! Two jars of Gerber baby food. Both Stage 3. One organic, one, uh…non-organic. Or regular. Whatever.

Do you see the difference? Here, let me digitally enhance the picture to show you a little more clearly:

The regular Gerber Stage 3 baby food is 6 ounces. The organic Gerber Stage 3 baby food is 5.5 ounces. That’s 0.5 ounces missing from the organic jar.

Seeing this difference in jars makes me wonder:

• Do pesticides weigh 0.5 ounces?
• Is organic somehow more dense?
• Do babies who eat organic not need as much food? If so, can you tell that to my devourer?
• Do they assume that organic is fed only to babies of celebrities, who don’t want their kids to get too fat, cause, like, you know…fat cells stick with you for life?
• Is the organic jar somehow edible as well? (the ultimate green packaging?)

I should also point out that the organic – the smaller jar! – costs 50% more than the non-organic.

What’s going on, Gerber? There is no reason why a jar of organic baby food should contain less food than a standard jar. My child needs that 0.5 ounces – I’m not cracking open another jar to give her that little bit extra. Besides, if I do, then I’m down an entire ounce for that jar, requiring me to open another jar to replace that ounce, and then more math is involved and my baby girl cries in hunger as I try to figure out how much food is just enough without being so much that she spits up all over me, thus requiring more food again.

Suddenly making my own baby food isn’t sounding so bad.

So do me a favor, Gerber: give me back my 0.5 ounces. Do you want this little face going hungry?

You don’t want me hungry. I’ll eat your nose off.