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Aug 9, 2012

That One Time I Walked In A Fashion Show At BlogHer ’12

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You may have seen the reports that while I was at BlogHer ’12, I was in a fashion show.

I know, I know. Stop laughing – I’m serious!

When I was first contacted about participating in the first ever BlogHer fashion show, I almost wondered if I was being punked. Except the email was from Elisa and I know she’d never do that to me. She had noticed me discussing BlogHer fashion on Twitter – of course, I was discussing why my jeans are perfectly acceptable conference wear, since that’s how I dress in real life. My jeans are practically my brand!

I’ll admit I went through a lot of emotions on the subject. First, I was completely flattered to be asked – what an honor that my name was considered to be in such a big event! I’m not a big name blogger by any means, and fashion is not a topic I generally write about.

Another emotion was giddy. Never before in my life have I considered being in a fashion show. Ever. While some little girls dreamed of being a model, I dreamed of being an astronaut. And as I got older – and heavier – it simply wasn’t on my radar. When you’re presented with quite possibly a once-in-a-lifetime experience like this, it’s easy to quickly add it to your bucket list.

But then the fear set in. Me. On stage. Dressed up. And walking. Being on stage I can handle, even being on stage and dressed up. But add in walking or talking and I suddenly fear making a fool of myself in front of a crowd. I have lost a lot of weight, and I’m ready to celebrate that, but I’m not model perfect.

Would people make fun of me? The big girl on stage wobbling in her heels? When I was younger I was the fat, ugly girl, a message I internalized after so many others had declared it to be true.

I didn’t want fear to win this time, so I quickly accepted before I could talk myself out of it. But even in the days leading up to it, that nagging voice of low self-esteem kept filling my head with doubt. Even at the fitting it was hard to accept a compliment from anyone. And being unable to fit in the first dress I tried on just provided ammo for that little voice that I would fail. I anxiously awaited Saturday night.

Then the magic happened.

I was still feeling like an ugly ducking as I sat down for makeup just hours before the show. I joked with the Elizabeth Arden team that my usual makeup regimen was face wash and a moisturizer with sunscreen. For special occasions I’d switch to a tinted moisturizer. Rebecca Restrepo, a woman who deserves the title of world-famous makeup artist, took her time and provided tips on how to use makeup to highlight my own natural beauty. She took my own makeup habits into account and created a look that was natural and simply luminous. I glowed.

No really, I love this woman. She works magic.

Next, the Paul Mitchell team took control of my hair. My stylist asked what I’d like, and I showed her a photo of my outfit and gave her free reign to do what she thought best. The finished result was stunning.

We had to wait to get dressed, and I remember going into the bathroom and just staring at myself in the mirror.

bathroom instagram

I was beautiful. But my hair wasn’t drastically different. And my makeup wasn’t that heavy either – hell, she used a tinted moisturizer as a foundation! So with the changes being so minor, why did I feel and look like a different person?

It wasn’t until my dresser had helped me into my outfit (jeans! imagine that!) and I turned around and found myself face-to-face with a different me in the mirror that suddenly it all made sense.

All of this fuss to make me look beautiful for the runway also made me feel beautiful on the inside, and what was reflected in that mirror wasn’t just makeup, hair and clothing, but also an inner beauty and self-confidence that had been hidden for most of my life. A simple trick of prettying the facade had convinced my self-esteem that I really was beautiful now, but logic also kicked in to say look closer – it’s still the same you. You just never noticed.

We were then lined up and prepped backstage for our big moment. The nerves were still there, but they were partially mixed with excitement. I had made a last minute decision to keep my phone with me, and even though we hadn’t rehearsed it, I was going to photograph the crowd at the end of the runway. This was a blogger fashion show, right? Well, that’s what this blogger would be doing in this circumstance!

The walk was a blur. I remember taking a deep breath right before I climbed the stairs to the stage. I remember the cheering and hearing my name, although I couldn’t see out into the crowd because of the lights. I remember letting those cheers fuel my walk as I strutted to the center of the stage.

Photo credit: Mark Von Holden Photography

I remember lifting my sunglasses and giving my best surprised act – omg! look at all of you out there! how ya been? – at the end of the runway. I remember my sunglasses falling low on my nose as I tried to take a photo of the crowd (it didn’t turn out – too bright) and fumbling with my phone as I tried to get it in my coat pocket.

Showing the crowd some photo love. (photo credit: Melisa Wells)

I remember walking back towards the main stage and seeing friends in the front row, yelling and cheering me on, and then as I neared backstage seeing Kelly standing in her row of chairs and whooping as loud as she could. And as I stepped backstage, I remember thinking wait – it’s over? No! I want to go back out!

Now I had all of the confidence in the world. I was unstoppable. I sat backstage while others took their turn on the runway and couldn’t stop smiling.

And after? I felt like a new person. It was amazing. I felt beautiful. Powerful. Worthy. I happily jumped into photos with friends at the CheeseburgHer party. I even photobombed a few folks, too.

Sorry, The Next Martha, I couldn’t resist.

I didn’t want to go to bed that night, mostly because I didn’t want to wash off the makeup. I took self-portraits in my hotel room bathroom before pulling out the face wash, sad to remove this pretty face. But you know what? I still woke up beautiful. (Well, aside from the bedhead and lines on my face from the pillowcase.) Taking off the makeup didn’t remove what I had discovered the night before.

Thank you, BlogHer, Kathryn, Darlene, Sheila, 6pm.com, Elizabeth Arden, Paul Mitchell, Petsmart, all of the other fantastic blogger models, and everyone involved with the fashion show, for giving me the experience of a lifetime, and helping me find my inner beauty.

You helped this 36 year old mom, who has never in her life considered herself worth a second look, much less a fashion show walk, blossom into the swan I always wished I could be. It was there the whole time, but I couldn’t see it until now. Real beauty is feeling comfortable in your own skin, accepting who you are, and loving yourself.

(And a special thank you to two lovely women I had never met before who approached me at CheeseburgHer to tell me how fantastic I was in the fashion show. You have no idea how much your kind words meant to me!)

PS: The full video of the fashion show can be found at BlogHer.com. Elizabeth Arden has a great set of photos from the event, too.

Filed Under: big issues, BlogHer12, love, me me me, shameless bragging, shameless promotion ·


Aug 6, 2012

Hey, I Just Met You, And This Is Crazy…

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…but here’s my blog, so read it maybe?

If you’re new here, it’s possible you just met me at BlogHer ’12 or BBSummit’12. And you might have typed my url into your browser to find out a little more about the person you had a (hopefully positive!) encounter with. So why not cover some of the basics today, shall we?

So…A Mommy Story, eh? Not exactly the most original blog name.

Well, yes. I do know that. But way back in ancient times (you know, 2005), when blogging was just becoming a “thing,” blog names were FAR easier to obtain thanks to little competition. You could get all the good domains then. Now you have to do crazy stuff like get a .net or misspell something or add an extra word in to get the domain you want. It’s led to some creative names, I’ll admit.

So where did the name come from? Well, when I was still a brand new mom, I remember watching all of those “stories” on TLC – A Wedding Story, A Baby Story, etc. and so the name was born.

OK, I’ve looked around here a little. You really want to stick with A Mommy Story? Doesn’t seem to really fit you.

Not really. I’ve outgrown – or rather my kids have nearly outgrown – the name and it doesn’t quite cover all of the topics I blog about. Not that any blog name could sum up all the random around here, unless it was Christina’s Random Blog or something like that. Which, in today’s world, is probably already taken as a domain name. I may change it someday, but it’s hard to give up all of that Google page rank and other mumbo jumbo that I’m told is Very Important in the world of social media and influence.

You really seemed to know a lot of people at the conference – did I just meet a high-profile blogger?

Nope, sorry to disappoint, but thanks for the compliment! I do know a lot of people, though. I’ve been blogging since 2005 and have attended every BlogHer from 2006 until now. That’s several years to meet people, both online and at conferences. And so I’m now lucky enough to walk through any hall at BlogHer and have a very high chance of seeing someone I know, even if I can’t remember their name. (I’m awful at remembering names. And faces if you’ve changed anything since we last met, or if you look nothing like your Twitter/Facebook photo.)

But while I know a lot of bloggers, including some “high-profile” ones, I’m not one myself. I guess you could say I have influence but don’t let that influence fool you into thinking someone’s offering me a book deal or I make a living at this kind of thing.

Wow, you’ve been blogging since 2005? You’re like a grandmother of blogging!

Um, well, at least you didn’t call me ancient. True story, BlogHer ’09, by the elevators. Which is also where I was called a grandmother of blogging (but they had never heard of me). Yes, this blog has been around since 2005, and before that I had a LiveJournal blog for a few years. It was the perfect outlet to find other parents to commiserate with early on, and since then I’ve developed several awesome friendships with people all over the world. And? It’s fun. This hobby isn’t just a fad for me.

Besides, does this face look old enough to be a grandma?

 Over Times Square

Wait – if you’ve been around that long, how come I’ve never heard of you? You must not be very good at this.

It’s a fair criticism. Unlike some of the famous bloggers, I’m not all that funny, I rarely make people cry, and I’m no good at exaggerating for effect. And my posting could be more frequent. I’ve never been a professional blogger – I’ve kept this blog updated while working a day job.

Early on it was a part-time job, then I was in school getting another degree, and then I spent the last three years working hard full-time jobs on third shift. (Working overnights.) That hell has now passed, though, and I’m happily comfortable with a work-from-home job that doesn’t require me to stay up all night.

Also, I’m not all that good at business. Oh sure, I have some fantastic ideas in my head, but it’s hard for me to nail down a business plan and see it through. I’ve tried, but then I get bored and something shiny comes along and distracts me and then I’m chasing my next big idea.

So the blog continues as it is. I take opportunities when they present themselves, but don’t actively chase down opportunities. I promote issues and brands that I feel strongly about. And I don’t promote myself as much as I probably should. You could call me coy, I suppose. Which is better than calling me lazy.

Speaking of distracted, you seemed, uh, mighty distracted at BlogHer. Just being honest, sorry.

No, no, it’s fine. I really do have ADD, and you must have caught me at one of my overwhelmed moments. BlogHer is like the ultimate collection of shiny objects, and sometimes it’s hard for me to keep my focus. Don’t take it personally, please. I’m a very good listener and love meeting new people – just because my eyes are wandering doesn’t mean I’m not still engaged. Hopefully you snapped me back to attention so you had my full focus.

And if I said I’d come back and didn’t, well…I screwed that up. I’m sorry, and I promise it wasn’t because I didn’t want to come back. (Looking at you, Annette. Luckily we kept running into each other!)

While we’re on the topic, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re a little odd. Odd in a fun way, but odd.

Yup. It’s taken me 36 years to accept this. You could say I’m geeky, or lacking in social graces. My older daughter has autism, so it seems to run in the family. I can put on a good show of being social, but it eventually gets to me and I start to break down.

If you saw me in the Kohler bathtub at BlogHer, it was because I was overwhelmed and discovered the VibrAcoustic tub music provided the perfect sensory block for me. Or maybe you saw me squeal in delight at receiving a copy of Goodnight Pond from Leila and wondered why a book about some doctor in a sci-fi TV show (Doctor Who) would elicit such a response.

So I can embrace the odd label. And let’s be honest, most bloggers are at least a little odd, right?

You seemed to have a knack for directions.

That’s my superpower. If you were one of the folks finding yourself lost at the conference or in NYC, I hope my directions helped you. If I’ve been somewhere once, I can usually remember it all and find my way back again. Or orient myself to know which direction we’re going. It’s like having a GPS built into your head. Even I get lost sometimes, but I find it fun and once I find my way I never get lost there again.

You can really knock back a drink, too.

Why yes, yes I can. Except tequila – that stuff is evil.

Hope that gives you a little more information about me beyond the often short connections made in person at the conference. If there’s anything else you want to know, aside from my bank account number (which you’d be disappointed in, anyway) drop me an email or leave a comment.

Filed Under: BlogHer12, me me me ·


Jul 24, 2012

Sally Ride: Aiming For The Stars

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I was shocked to hear about the death of Sally Ride yesterday. Her name had been absent from the news for years (mostly of her own choosing), so we were all unaware she was battling cancer, but there was never a moment of “who?” when her death was announced. I’d guess most women my age recognized the name immediately, without the need to explain who she was. For me, I felt a small part of my childhood quietly pass on as I processed the news. Sally Ride. 61 years old. Gone.

In the early 80’s, space shuttle launches were a big deal. Our elementary school would file into the school library, packed in tight rows around the single A/V cart with the heavy TV perched on top, just to watch a space shuttle launch. It was a magical sight to watch the rockets fire and carry that black and white glider into space.

Seeing the first grainy photos and video of Sally Ride in space sent a message to girls everywhere that times were changing. We really could be ANYTHING we wanted to be. The space program was one of the most prominent achievements of science and engineering, and here was a woman proving that she could be a pioneer in that field just as well as any man.

This little girl saw Sally Ride and dreamed for the stars. She was my hero. In a time when girls still weren’t expected to do as well as boys in science, she inspired me to keep learning and exploring. Math and science were my best subjects, and knowing that they could possibly lead me to be an astronaut one day only strengthened my efforts. I wanted to be like Sally.

Even when the Challenger exploded, I remained committed. Sally was there in front of the media, reminding us that all progress carries risk, and while we mourned the loss of the Challenger crew we couldn’t let the tragedy keep us from moving forward. We were stronger than our fear and wouldn’t let their loss be for nothing. We would continue on.

It was because of Sally Ride that I went to Space Camp in seventh grade. (Well, Space Academy since I was too old for Space Camp by that point.) There were still a greater percentage of boys than girls at the Huntsville, Alabama facility, but there were girls. Girls who also saw Sally Ride become the first woman in space and were inspired to follow their own dreams of sitting in a space shuttle. It’s unlikely that many went on to become astronauts, but how many would then pursue careers in science, technology, engineering, or math? I’m betting Sally’s influence led to a huge increase for women in these fields.

And while I never did become an astronaut, Sally Ride inspired a love of science for me and helped me believe I could do anything I put my mind to. I never felt limited by my gender when it came to career choices. I could aim for the stars.

I still have a love for science, and I pulled both of my daughters close to me while watching a shuttle launch (oh, I hope they will remember!), full of emotion as I told them that they could someday see the world far below them like the astronauts do. Nothing is out of their reach if they have the desire to go after it.

Rest in peace, Sally. You were my hero and I hope your legacy will continue to inspire other girls to aim for the stars.

Filed Under: growing up, me me me, memories ·


Jul 16, 2012

Face Time With Friends at Applebee’s (Giveaway!)

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It’s funny how social media has made us closer and yet farther away than ever from our friends and family. Why bother calling and possibly disturbing someone when you can send a text or a tweet? We no longer have to ask, “So, how have you been?” because it’s all spelled out on our friend’s Facebook wall.

I have several friends who live in Columbus, but due to the logistics of work schedules, kids (mine), and being in different parts of the city, we rarely have the chance to get together. Yes, we should probably make more time for it, but we’ve all been guilty of letting other things get in the way.

I was recently invited to learn more about Applebee’s Life is Better Shared campaign. Their message is simple: we all spend a lot of time online, and probably have too much Facebook and not enough face-time with the people we love. It’s all about balance — it’s great to be so connected online, but it’s important to have some offline fun with friends, too. Applebee’s even has their own tumblr with some funny videos to help promote their Girls’ Night Out message. (They have a Girls’ Night Out Goddess – I can’t quite decide what I think of her. You’ll have to watch and decide for yourself.)

I’m no stranger to Applebee’s. It’s a common spot for the occasional family night out. We love their Kids Eat Free Tuesdays, and I really appreciate that the kids’ menu is standard enough to convince my picky eater to eat. (And even though it isn’t an option, they always let her choose a salad as her side.) But I’ve never really been to Applebee’s without the kids, despite seeing their promotions for Happy Hour and Girls’ Night Out.

So a few weeks ago, I decided it was time for a Girls’ Night Out. It also just so happened to be my birthday. I emailed two friends (who were my maid of honor and matron of honor in my wedding) and my sister-in-law and suggested we all have dinner out at Applebee’s. I haven’t had the chance to spend quality time with any of these three ladies in quite awhile.

My girl-power crew got there just at the end of Happy Hour, and the bar was surprisingly full. The vibe was great; the bar area had a mix of men and women of all ages, smiling, socializing and clearly enjoying their night out. It didn’t take long to decide where to start with the menu:

Applebees has great drinks, and I love that I can get a giant sized drink for less than the cost of a tiny drink in a nightclub. Three of us had two drinks before the night was through.

As we munched on appetizers of spinach & artichoke dip and wonton tacos chicken (OMG, I wanted to lick the plate these came on – so good!), the conversation came back quickly. Beyond the Facebook wall updates, we shared more intimate stories of our lives recently, discussing triumphs and frustrations, new places around town we had discovered and the lives of long-time friends.

When our meals arrived, the conversation stopped just long enough to appreciate the food in front of us, and then we began the delicate trade off of eating and talking. I was so glad my kids weren’t there – it took well over 45 minutes to finish our meals because of the non-stop conversation in-between bites. I had the sizzling Asian shrimp & broccoli – a favorite of mine. Lots of crisp veggies, plenty of shrimp, and it really does come out sizzling hot!

Yum!

As the sun set and the bar area became dark, we continued to laugh and commiserate, never short on topics to talk about, one blending into the next with no awkward silences. It felt awesome to spend time with friends in person, sharing a conversation over a meal.

And then, of course, since the waiter heard it was my birthday, the staff brought out a sundae and sang happy birthday to me. (I may have turned a lovely shade of crimson at that point.) Shortly after, I found out that my second drink was picked up by a gentleman at another table since it was my birthday. First time a stranger has ever bought me a drink! Sadly, he left before I had the chance to say thank you.

We finally left about two and a half hours after we arrived and only because everyone had to work the next day and didn’t want to stay out too late. Had time not been an issue, we probably could have entertained ourselves until closing.

I love that social media keeps me so close to my friends, day and night, but there’s something to be said for getting together in person to talk. Without the barrier of technology limitations between us, interactions feel more natural and relaxed. Our night at Applebee’s was a good reminder to unplug every now and then and make the time to share some of our time and our lives with friends face-to-face.

Now WIN some time out for yourself!

When’s the last time you had a Girls’ Night Out? A week ago? A month? A year? Applebee’s and I want to know, and BlogHer and Applebee’s are giving you a chance at a $150 Applebee’s gift card just by leaving your answer to that question in a comment below!

Rules:
No duplicate comments.
You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:
a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.
This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
The Official Rules are available here.
This sweepstakes runs from 7/16/12 – 8/3/12.
Be sure to visit the Applebee’s Life Is Better Shared page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win! Also, check out the Life is Better Shared campaign on Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube and Tumblr!

Good luck!

Filed Under: giveaways, me me me, reviews, sponsored ·


Jun 21, 2012

So This Is 36

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When my mom was 36 (and happy birthday yesterday, mom!), I was 14 and considered her to be old. Not old-old like my grandmother, but just old. She wore high-waist jeans and worn out t-shirts all the time, she had no clue as to what was currently on-trend, she listened to “oldies” music, she was constantly weary from working long hours, and she was already showing grey hairs and a few lines around her eyes.

And it terrified me.

My greatest fear as a teen was growing old. Granted, I didn’t like the body I already had, but I felt like after 30 it would just be one depressing downhill slide as the body fell apart and the mind lost it’s ability to grow and change. I sometimes wondered if I’d even live much past 30, or if I’d find a way to go out in a blaze of glory and end everything on a high note before I had to endure watching it all break down around me.

I was a stupid teenager.

Today I’m 36, and obviously I don’t feel the same way I did at 14. Age has provided perspective, and I see how some of my earlier thoughts came from the anxieties and understanding of a teenager.

Today I am no longer wishing for a short, glorious life. Oh, I still have all of my anxieties of growing older as the grey hairs have taken over in the past year and I watch the fine lines deepen around my eyes, but I’d much rather face those changes than the alternative. Not only because I want to live to be an old lady, but also because I now have children of my own. These two girls need me, and I need them. I’ll probably need them long after they think they still need me.

Today I’m in the best shape of my life. I weigh now what I did at 14 (and haven’t weighed that since I was 14) and I’m learning to love the body I have. Sure, it is starting the process of falling apart that frightened me so much as a teen, but rather than fear it I’m fighting it. Oh no, body, you’re not allowed to slow down on me now – we’ve got a long way to go.

Today I find myself happier than I have been in a long, long time. I love my family, quirks and all. It’s taken years and several jobs, but I’m genuinely happy with the work I’m doing now. As much as losing my job back in March sucked, it was a catalyst to bring a whole lot of awesome into my life. Funny how those little details work themselves out, isn’t it? Things aren’t perfect in my life by any means – our financial situation is still shaky due to Aaron’s job, we want to move from our current house but can’t, and they have yet to invent calorie-free Nutella – but the stuff that really matters is solid.

Today I’m content to know that I’ll never please everyone, so I’ll just worry about myself and the opinions of those I care about. I don’t have to follow trends, but if I happen to like a trend I can flaunt the hell out of it. Or I can flaunt the hell out of something untrendy. It’s whatever I like.

Today I’m discovering I still don’t know that much about who I am, but it’s time to find out.

Today I’m still fighting inner demons, but I finally feel like I’m on the winning side. They have their minor victories some days, but overall I’ve got this.

Today I realize that my mom was truly comfortable in her own skin at 36, just like she was at 26 and still is now. She worked hard to provide for me, and pushed through that weariness to reach the goals she had set for me and herself. She didn’t over-analyze everything. She knew what she liked, and she knew what needed to be done. And now that she’s retired, she’s continuing to pursue her goals and be exactly the person she wants to be.

Today I know now that my mom was and is far more self-aware than many people I know, and I only wish I could have that same self-awareness and self-confidence that she did at 36.

Today, I’m thankful that I still have another 364 days of being 36 to make that wish come true.

…and that old lady reading glasses can now be snazzy.
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Filed Under: growing up, me me me, memories ·