I Wish Some Gifts Came With Receipts

As much as I wanted my girls to not be themselves for Mother’s Day, I have to say that it wasn’t as bad as I expected. My husband – always the bright one – caught on when I said I only wanted a card for Mother’s Day, and nothing more. He recognized that this meant I have no idea what to ask for, so make it good, buddy and took the appropriate action.

Well, sort of. On Saturday he did misinterpret my go buy my gift and enjoy spending some time alone, and hey, maybe you could bring home some ice cream as a message that said go buy my gift quickly and spend the rest of the evening at a gaming store until midnight, because I didn’t want to spend any time at all with you, and oh, I wasn’t serious about asking you to bring me home ice cream or asking you to call if you were going to be late. I can see how that mistake could be made.

The girls, too young to drive themselves to Target to pick out a pretty gift, instead showered me with gifts that were, shall we say, more intangible and less wanted. A quick round-up of the gifts that were bestowed on me this weekend:

From Aaron: Two martini glasses, a cosmo shaker kit, and a box of Choxie dark chocolate truffles. Hmmm…you think he knows me? It was a nice gift, and nearly made up for me going to bed alone the night before.

From Cordy: Blow-out diapers all weekend long. I still haven’t figured out if it was some kind of gastrointestinal virus or a reaction to something she ate on Friday, but either way I didn’t expect to spend the weekend wondering if it was worth the risk of a toxic spill in public to leave the house.

Sick girl

From Mira: Attitude. I can already see this child will somehow be involved in my demise. She’s doing a great job at making me feel like a first-time mother again. This is the age we’re supposed to be setting limits, right? She should get upset when I use a firm, strong NO, right? So why when I give that firm no in my best mean mommy voice, I now get this in return?

Scary (drooly) evil grin

Teaching her new friend Evan all her tricks

Razzing me

Oh yeah, attitude galore. And as soon as I tell her no and pull her away from what I don’t want her to do, she goes right back to it, giving me that impish, scrunchy-face grin as if to say Oh, you’re in for it, lady. Is she my Stewie?

From three random little girls: A pretty carnation. We went out to dinner on Sunday night because I wanted a nice dinner and decided any risk of toxic spill was an acceptable trade-off. The restaurant had been giving carnations out to each mom, but they ran out about twenty minutes before we arrived. No big deal. Sitting across from us was a family who had three girls. They were cute and funny and clearly having a great time together.

Shortly after we ordered, they finished and gathered their things to leave. I saw the youngest (maybe 4 years old?) lean over and whisper something to her mother, and her mother replied, “I think that’s a great idea.” They walked away, and less than a minute later, the manager came to our table and handed me a carnation. He explained that the girls said they were planting a flower garden and didn’t need the flower, so they wanted to give it to me, since I was a mommy and didn’t get a flower. Awwww….

Overall, not a bad day. But maybe my daughters can take a lesson from the little girls in the restaurant and just give me flowers next year?

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Another cool gift I got this weekend was my first monthly delivery of photos from Kinzin. Check out my review of this photo sharing and printing service.



The Summer Preschool Rush

You might think that little Columbus, OH doesn’t have the challenges of the big city. But you’d be wrong. We have our traffic (there’s a reason we nearly named our hockey team the Orange Barrels), we have plenty of crime, and when it comes to early childhood education, we must also rush to find the best programs. (Although most don’t require an interview.)

OK, actually, preschools aren’t that hard to find around here, and in Cordy’s situation, we have a guaranteed preschool for her. But her school follows the district’s calendar, so once June rolls around, we’re on our own to find a good summer program for her.

Summer camp guides are published at the beginning of March, and like many parents of three year olds, I snagged a copy and quickly began circling any program that looked promising. Most are run by private preschools, and are somewhat academic in nature, with a lot of “summer fun” thrown in. After I narrowed it down, I began calling to see if we could get her name on the list for any of these programs. And time after time, I ran into one big problem:

“Is she potty trained?”

Oh, how I hate that question. I always want to respond back with, “Do I ask you about your bathroom habits?”

Cordy isn’t potty trained yet, and shows no signs of planning to master this task anytime soon. We have days when I ask her if she wants to use her potty, and she will. But most other days she responds with, “No thank you, I like my diaper.” And she never has asked to use the potty, either. She watches all of the other kids at school go into the little bathroom stalls and do their business, but she refuses to try.

This isn’t a big deal to me, because I know that eventually she’ll get it. The sensory issues involved with this are tough for her, so while I do encourage her and ask if she wants to use the potty several times a day, I refuse to push the issue and force her.

So finding a summer program has been difficult, because we can never get past that question on the phone. No one wants a three year old who isn’t potty trained, and no one will accept a three year old in their two year old program, where potty training isn’t necessary. (Despite the fact that most are half-day programs, so they wouldn’t need to change a pull-up before I’d be back to get her.)

And then there was this preschool.

One school, who shall remain unnamed but I’ll give you a hint that it is a chain daycare/preschool, asked me that question, and when I said she wasn’t potty trained, they asked, “Well, can you get her trained by summer? Is there any reason she’s resisting potty training?”

“Well,” I began cautiously, “She has some sensory issues…”

I was cut off. “Is she autistic?”

“Yes, but she’s very high functioning. She…”

“I’m sorry, but we don’t have the facilities to deal with an autistic child.”

“Uh, what? What kind of facilities would you need?”

“I’m sorry, we can’t accept an autistic child.”

And just like that, the conversation was over. They didn’t have the facilities for my daughter. What did they think they needed? A locked cage? A padded room? A big plastic bubble to make sure her autism didn’t rub off on the other kids?

Thankfully, Cordy’s teacher told me about a small summer program run by the school district. They can’t take everyone, so we have to apply and hope that they see Cordy’s potential lack of summer instruction as a risk of regression. And we have one other program as a possible backup, in case the school district’s program doesn’t accept her.

But now I must wait for the letter telling me where my preschooler will spend her summer. It’s not quite like the NYC preschool rush, but it’s still a little nerve-wracking.



I’m Going For A Walk – Will You Join Me?

When I was younger and had a lot more time, I participated in a few charity 5K races. Oh, don’t think for a second that I ran them. Winning didn’t matter to me, and besides, if I ran them I would have passed out before I hit 1K. A nice brisk walk was just fine for me, along with several others. I was there to support the cause, not to kill myself.

I’ve been wanting to do some of those again, and out of the blue I found and signed up for one that is May 3. Bonus: no running needed. Even better? It’s a cause I’m deeply committed to.

The Walk Now For Autism event is being held in Cincinnati on May 3, and I’ll be there with Mira on my back and Cordy and Aaron by my side. This walk is a fundraising event for Autism Speaks, an organization that is dedicated to increasing awareness about autism spectrum disorders, as well as funding research into the causes, prevention, treatments and cure for autism.

As many of you know, Cordelia was diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum last fall. Officially, it’s PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified), which means that she has autism-related delays in speech, motor skills, and social skills. I probably should have had her evaluated earlier. It took some time for me to accept that Cordy was different from many of her peers, but the full impact hit me when she was enrolled in a preschool last summer and we were told that she did not fit in well and had been permanently removed from the Friday assembly because of her inability to transition well.

She screamed as if she was in pain when they tried to make her fingerpaint. She fell to the ground, wailing, when her classmates got too loud. While the class watched a movie, she was off in another corner of the room, talking to herself as she lined up toys and created new patterns with colored blocks. And she never talked to the other kids – it was like they didn’t exist to her. If another child said hi to her, she ignored him or looked confused, not sure what to do.

She’s been attending a special needs preschool since the fall, and thanks to the therapy she receives there, her transformation has been amazing. She uses eating utensils now, something she never did before because she was afraid of dropping something gooey onto herself. She doesn’t get upset when I leave. She says hi to other kids and can name all of her friends at school. She fingerpaints! She sings! She uses full sentences to ask for things, and has even started saying “I’m sad,” instead of having a meltdown when she doesn’t get her way.

In fact, her meltdowns, which used to be a nearly daily occurrence, are now one or two a month, if that. She no longer tries to hurt herself by hitting her head on the floor, either. That has probably been the best change for me.

I can also put barrettes in her hair now. BIG accomplishment.

None of these things would have come so quickly (or at all) without help from her therapists and her skilled teachers. She still must deal with sensory issues upsetting her. She still relies too heavily on scripts (scripted phrases she repeats over and over), and while she’s more social with other kids now, the nuances of social interaction remain foreign to her.

However, these things will come with time and work. Her teacher reports that she has an amazing vocabulary and is far ahead of many of her classmates in letters, numbers, and other academic areas. She’s a smart girl with a bright future ahead of her, partially thanks to early intervention.

So it’s no surprise why I would want to participate in Walk Now For Autism. The research that has been done so far is already helping Cordy, and I want to see further research done to improve the therapies available for her and other kids on the spectrum. Cordy only gets a small amount of group therapy in her class each week (one hour of PT, OT, and speech), and while we are eligible for more therapy through the county, the wait list is long right now. We have one of the best health insurance plans in Ohio, yet our insurance refuses to pay for any therapy for Cordy. Autism is considered an “incurable and untreatable” condition by many insurance companies, and as a result any therapy must come out of pocket for us.

I also want to see more research into finding the causes of autism. Mira is nearing a year old, which is when we began to see some of Cordy’s quirks emerge. My fear that I will lose Mira’s outgoing nature to this disorder is understandable. I’m holding my breath, watching her carefully, and will likely not exhale until I see that she is a typically developing three year old. I wouldn’t trade Cordy for anything the world could offer, but parenting a child on the spectrum does have additional struggles, and having to do it twice is hard to imagine.

I set a modest goal of raising $250 for the walk. I think I can raise that amount in a week and a half, and would love to raise even more than that if possible.(Edited to add: Thanks to your generous donations, I’m now raising the goal to $500!) Would you consider contributing to my walk? Even $5 helps. Locals who want to walk with us on May 3 are also welcome to join my team. Online donations go straight to Autism Speaks, and like any donation to charity, are tax deductible. Thanks for anything you can give.

Also, while I’m on this topic, read my review of the Kibbles Rockin’ Clubhouse DVD at Mommy’s Must Haves today. It’s a DVD designed for children on the spectrum that teaches social skills, along with providing strategies for parents using music therapy and speech therapy.



What Happened To Worrying About Monsters?

While putting Cordy to bed:

Cordy: I can’t go to sleep. I’m scared.

Aaron: What are you scared of?

Cordy: I’m scared I won’t ever wake up again.

How do you respond to THAT?

Edited to add: Many of you asked how we responded. I think we mumbled something about how she will always wake up in the morning and we’ll eat waffles just like we always do. I mean, really, who expects that from a three year old?

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One thing Cordy certainly isn’t scared of is trains. I’m reviewing the new Thomas & Friends – Engines & Escapades DVD at Mommy’s Must Haves today.



Haiku Friday: Young Jedi

Haiku Friday


Daddy-daughter time:
She is a Jedi fighter.
He is a Sith lord.

A flash of blue light
crashing against red light in
the lightsaber duel

It’s Star Wars at home
She’s never seen the movies
But it is still fun

This is what happens
When your husband’s a geek and
Shares it with your kid

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below or at Jennifer’s blog with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, contact Jennifer or myself.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! We will delete any links without haiku!

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