This Will Have To Pass For A Post Today

Things have been a little busy for me the past few days, no thanks to a crippling round of nausea and vomiting that struck yesterday. But there’s been more going on than just that, only I’m too tired to write it all up. So, in summary form:

– Cordy lost two more teeth on Sunday, making it a grand total of three now. Actually, she lost one, leaving one tooth on the bottom with a gap on either side, which then made her reach into her mouth and yank out that middle tooth. If she loses any more teeth on the bottom, she’s going to have trouble biting into anything. She’s thrilled, though.

– Ever since Cordy’s birthday in September, Mira has had two beds in her room – the crib and Cordy’s old toddler bed. And each night we offer her the choice of “the big girl bed” or “the baby bed” for bedtime. She always chooses the crib. Until last week, when she decided she’s had enough of the baby bed:


I thought we were in a for a long night of her getting out of bed and waking us up, but she slept the entire night. And since then she’s not gone back to the crib even once. She also does better than I expected at staying in her room once it’s bedtime. Is it possible for this transition to be this easy? Or is she lulling me into a false sense of security?

– And then there’s this:


At first I saw this and worried that Mira was starting to develop Cordy’s old quirks, like lining up toys in a row for no reason. But this is apparently “putting the trains to bed” according to Mira. Whew – at least she has a story for it.



Firsts – The Tooth Fairy

I remember when I lost my first tooth. I was five years old, and I didn’t even know it was loose. I went to my babysitter’s house after kindergarten that day, just like any other day, and was greeted with a typical peanut butter and sugar sandwich. (Seriously, she sprinkled sugar on it. She was an old woman – let’s not question her grasp of nutrition, OK?)

The sandwich was quickly devoured and my kool-aid was gulped down so I could watch afternoon cartoons. I must have laughed at something on TV, because my babysitter gave me a strange look and said, “Honey, open your mouth.”

I had no idea why she was asking me to do something so odd, but I complied. “Did you lose a tooth yesterday?” she asked.

“No. They were all there when I brushed my teeth this morning,” I replied.

“Go look in the mirror, sweetie,” she instructed me, grinning. I’m sure I huffed as I got off the floor to go to the bathroom, irritated at leaving my beloved cartoons behind. I’m sure I thought she was nuts, since I had no dramatic moment of feeling a tooth fall out. Shouldn’t I feel a tooth dislodge?

Standing on my tip-toes, I peered across the sink into the old, cracked mirror and slowly opened my mouth. There, in the center of my bottom row of perfectly aligned teeth, was a dark gap where a little pearly white tooth should be.

I was stunned, and my heart started to pound hard. Where was my tooth? When did it disappear? And most importantly, WHAT WAS I GOING TO TELL THE TOOTH FAIRY?

I don’t remember what exactly happened after that. We figured out that I must have swallowed my tooth when I ate my after-school snack. I vaguely remember a mix of glee and horror, happy to have hurdled across another milestone in the journey of growing up, but worried that swallowing a tooth could somehow hurt me, and frantic that I was going to miss out on a payday from the tooth fairy.

It wasn’t the ideal First Lost Tooth experience, although I believe the tooth fairy was understanding of my situation. (And for the record, my mom was NOT sympathetic enough to look for when the tooth came out the other end. My first lost tooth was never recovered, and I can’t say I blame her for that.)

But I’m happy to say that Cordy did not share my first lost tooth experience. When she had dental surgery this summer the dentist warned us that, based on the x-rays, she was likely to lose a few baby teeth in the next year. The roots were shortening and her permanent teeth were beginning to form underneath.

About two weeks ago I noticed one of her teeth on the bottom looked out of line with the rest. When I wiggled it, I discovered that it was completely free in the back and just hanging by a tiny piece in the front. I expected a tooth fairy visit in the next day or two, but that tooth kept holding on.

Then the other night, while eating a chip, Cordy paused with a confused look on her face, reached into her mouth, and then handed me her tooth, shouting, “Mommy, I lost my tooth!” Apparently my child chews her food better that I did at five years old.

She put the tooth into a pouch, placed it under her pillow, and the tooth fairy replaced the tooth in the pouch with several coins for her piggy bank, along with two activity books. Cordy was thrilled.

Of course, further examination of her mouth reveals that the tooth fairy better not go too far away. Her permanent tooth is already coming in to that spot, and it’s larger than the space available, now pushing out the tooth next to it.

What is the going rate for a tooth now, anyway? I’m hoping she doesn’t ask at school. And if her permanent teeth are anything like mine were, we’ll need to start saving for orthodontia now.



Guinea Pig for Hope

Wow, I’ve been away for a week, eh? That was unintentional. This past week I completed my orientation at work and began my time on night shift, working 7pm-7am. So far? I’m in a fog. My brain and biorhythms can’t tell if I should be awake or not at the moment, leaving me staring at the wall wondering if I’m really awake or just dreaming I am. I’m told it gets easier, so we’ll all cross our fingers and hope that’s true.

Even my days off haven’t been very restful. Something I haven’t shared with everyone yet is that back in September we enrolled Cordy in a clinical drug trial at OSU’s Nisonger Center (University Center for Excellence in Developmental Disabilities). The Nisonger Center is an incredible resource for parents of children with autism, and I’ve been watching their research studies for a couple of years now.

I’ve considered clinical research studies for Cordy in the past, but never requested more information because either 1. Cordy was too young for the study, or 2. I didn’t feel comfortable putting her in anything I considered risky. Unless the risks are slight, I’m not willing to let Cordy be a guinea pig, even if that research could be the key to unlocking new treatment options for autism spectrum disorders.

However, this particular clinical trial caught my eye. It’s a study of an ADD medication for children with autism who also have ADD symptoms of hyperactivity and/or inattentiveness. The drug is already in use for children with ADD, the amount given in the study does not exceed recommended dosing guidelines already in place, and this drug has a very small list of rare, severe reactions, all of which are completely reversible by stopping the medication. Feeling like it was a relatively safe trial, I called and signed her up.

The first few meetings involved several screenings. Even though she already has a diagnosis, they had to determine for themselves that she really is on the spectrum with ADD-symptoms. By the end of those tests, the doctor in charge determined she was a perfect fit for the study. Then came all of the medical tests to be certain she has no underlying health problems. A blood draw was required for that, and I won’t even go into the horrific details of how that went. Let’s just say that they got to see Cordy’s full meltdown, and again I’d like to apologize to the nurse who took the flying shoe to her head.

One of the more pleasant parts of the screening.

Now we go in once a week for a check-up. These meetings take about two hours, where I spend most of my time filling out paperwork and answering questions about her behavior for the past week. Cordy, on the other hand, spends about 15 minutes getting a quick exam by the staff (height, weight, B/P, etc.) and the remainder of her time charming everyone into letting her do whatever she wants. They let her watch videos, give her snacks (they keep a snack drawer stocked with organic snacks!), surround her with toys and paper and markers, and the student workers are thrilled to play with her. One in particular has said he wants to be there on the days when she’s there, because he likes hanging out with her. All together now: awwwwww!

At the end of the meeting, I get another week’s worth of medication for Cordy (they’re slowly increasing her dosage) and Cordy, already stuffed from Annie’s bunny fruit snacks, gets to choose a prize from the prize box. As you can guess, she now loves going to Nisonger, calling it her “office” and saying she “has to go to work.”

We’re only on week four of the ten week study, and we don’t know if we have the actual medication or the placebo. The medication also takes 4-6 weeks to build up in the system. The good news is that we’ve yet to see any of the possible side effects listed for the medication. So we could have the placebo. However, in the past week we’ve also noticed that Cordy’s repetitive motions (running “laps”, flapping, awkward limb movements, etc.) have dropped off dramatically. So we could have the actual medication. Of course, it’s supposed to help with ADD symptoms, not repetitive motions and flapping. So we could have the placebo. And at this point my head starts to spin as I think: And you must have suspected I would have known the powder’s origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me…

So whether we have the real medication or not, we’re not seeing a lot of results yet. But that doesn’t mean they won’t come. And at the end of the ten week study, we have the option of entering an open study where we can try the actual medication if we had the placebo.

I never thought I’d be a parent who would medicate her child. But with kindergarten looming in the distance, Cordy’s lack of attention and focus is a concern. This is her last year of being in a special-needs classroom. Next year it’s the real deal – mainstreamed in a class of typical kids. I worry she’ll be eaten alive by kids who will pick up on her differences. I worry she’ll have trouble sitting still. And most of all, I worry she will be left behind academically, as the quiet girl who doesn’t cause any trouble, but also doesn’t have the focus or drive to apply herself to her lessons.

She’s generally not disruptive in the classroom, but her quiet zoning out could easily result in her being lost in the crowd. I can see her being the sweet child in the back of the class, distracted by her own mind and all of the sensory onslaught around her and then struggling when it’s time to prove she learned anything at all.

Right now she gets personalized attention in her special needs pre-K, but next year she’ll be lucky to share an aide in a classroom of 20+ kids. At this point we can’t even guarantee a shared aide. While I plan to work with her at home as much as possible, I can’t be in the classroom with her, meaning I’ll exhaust every option to give her the best chance of success at school.

I have no idea if this trial will work or not. And if it doesn’t, I’m back to searching for more options. But right now it’s buying me just a bit of hope that we’re moving in the right direction a little faster.



Apple Girls

Last weekend was my brother-in-law’s wedding. Our girls were asked to be the flower girls for the occasion, although actually they were “apple girls” holding baskets with an apple and fall leaves. I was so nervous about how they would behave. White dresses, walking in front of a crowd, staying quiet during a ceremony – all things that could go very, very wrong.

And yet…


Everything went amazingly well. The girls were a little restless before the ceremony, but when the time came, they only needed a little push from me to walk down the aisle. (It helps that Aaron was a groomsman, so they knew to walk to daddy.)


Of course, at the reception they kept the dance floor hot.


And perhaps one of the most amazing moments of the day was that we actually got a photo of the four of us all together. It might be the first of all of us together, even if it is a grainy iPhone photo.


It was a lovely wedding, Cordy and Mira were perfect in their roles as apple girls, and I survived without having a stroke from the stress of keeping them clean.



Now You Know Why They’re Not Models

Scene: Fall festival, trying to take a nice photo of both girls. (Click any photo to enlarge.)

OK, girls, look at mommy and smile!


C’mon, Mira, smile for mommy! You’re too young to be sullen! Oh…um, Cordy, I don’t need your help making Mira smile…


Mira, c’mon, look at the camera like Cordy did. Cordy, are you looking?


What kind of a face was that, Mira? Cordy, please focus! Just one photo of the two of you smiling! That’s all I’m asking for!


Good eye contact, Mira. If only you didn’t look so bershon. Now can we get Cordy to look at the camera and have both of you smile? Please?


OK, clearly we’re done here. Fine, I’ll leave you alone to play on the stairs and wait for the hayride.

Wait…now you’re smiling? Hold still! Let me get my camera out again! Don’t stop smiling! Argh, I don’t have enough time! *CLICK*


You two are determined to have me committed.

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