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Jun 12, 2012

Summer Camp Is Here and We’re All Happy About It

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Yesterday marked the beginning of eight weeks of peace and quiet in my house, also known as summer camp. Yes, I’m working from home, but I think we can all agree that I will get more accomplished, and the girls will have a lot more fun if they’re not with me all day.

They’re attending the same camp they went to last year. It’s expensive, but it’s worth every penny for how happy both kids are to be there and for the caring staff who understand that every child is unique and celebrate what makes each kid special.

Two years ago, when we were considering summer camps for Cordy, we looked at a few that catered to special needs children, but I felt they were too much like daycare and not challenging enough to keep Cordy’s mind stimulated. Aaron and I both felt that if we could put Cordy in a situation that (gently) pushed and challenged her, she’d rise to the occasion and grow from it.

This summer camp is based on a Montessori philosophy and places a strong emphasis on learning while having fun. When Cordy attended the first year, I was worried that she would be too much for them to handle and she’d be asked to leave. Instead, they adored her and quickly adapted to her. Everyone had a great time and that summer we saw her ability to socialize with other kids grow, along with a greater tolerance of her sensory aversions.

Last year Cordy was old enough to join the next group of kids, an older group of kids. I was uncertain if they would be as tolerant of her differences as the younger kids, or if the greater sense of responsibility expected from this age group would be more than Cordy could keep up with. Amazingly, she did great. Other kids talked to her and played with her, and her teachers found her to be charming. (Ha, where have I heard that before?)

So yesterday we packed up all of the first day of camp supplies and climbed into the car. Cordy was already anxious that no one would remember her because she cut her hair since last year. I assured her that someone would probably remember her, and that her hair is not the only thing people notice. (Mira, of course, had no anxiety and was secretly plotting how to quickly take command of her entire class.)

When we arrived, Cordy nervously stepped out of the car, glancing towards the sign-in table. One of the camp staff immediately saw her, waved and shouted, “Cordy! Hi! It’s great to see you again!” Cordy’s face suddenly glowed with the big smile on her face as she ran over to say hello and tell her all about how she was scared no one would know her because of her haircut.

Before we could finish signing them in, both kids had waved goodbye without even looking and ran for the playground.

And when I picked them up yesterday afternoon, both groaned that it was already time to leave. Cordy even had other kids helping her hide from me so she wouldn’t have to leave. (Seeing other kids playing with her was enough for me to play along for a few minutes.) Their teachers – same ones from last year – expressed how happy they were to see the girls again, and of course how much they’ve grown in a year.

Today they were just as excited to go back to summer camp. And I’m thrilled to see them both so happy and active for the summer. I’m hopeful that it’ll be a great summer for all of us.

Filed Under: Cordy, daily life, memories, Mira · Tagged:


Jun 5, 2012

Did I Mention How Much I Dislike Uncertainty?

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So remember how I said Aaron was being laid off at the end of May? Yeah, that. Well, he’s not quite laid off yet. He didn’t work on Friday, but yesterday was back in the office. Confused? Me too.

Seems that one of the vice presidents of the company reaching his boiling point at having his ideas ignored while the owner continued to mismanage everything, so he quit. With his leaving, the owner decided he wouldn’t re-hire for that position, leaving more money in the budget from the lack of one salary. Another VP then saw an opening and begged to have his team back together in some way. So their only human relations employee – also the receptionist – was brought back from part-time to full-time again, and Aaron found himself putting his unemployment application on hold.

He’ll only be working 25 hours a week at the moment, hourly now instead of salaried. But the bonus is they are allowing us to keep our health insurance. The premiums will eat up a large chunk of his part-time pay, but we’re not looking at this stay-of-execution as a long-term plan, so we’ll keep cutting back and make due with what we have. There’s a chance they’ll bring him back to full-time if they are awarded a new contract for a job, but either way Aaron has lost any trust in the company owner and plans to continue job hunting as if he was unemployed.

There was one snag, however. Aaron was supposed to be paid on the last day of May, like everyone else in the company. An email sent out late the night before informed everyone that a few payments from vendors were late, and as a result they had to make the choice to delay the pay for a few people. Aaron was one of them, of course. Never mind that we had bills to pay, or that at the time we were expecting this to be his last paycheck and needed that money. As of today, he still hasn’t be paid for the last half of May. Good thing I didn’t schedule any bills to be paid yet. Grrr.

Thankfully I still have my job, and we’re busier than ever. Last week truly was a blur to me. I was going full-steam for so long that by Saturday night I felt lost without something to do. This week is the same, and I’m working on perfecting my ability to keep as many balls in the air as possible. I’m still dropping a few, but I’m doing my best to pick them right back up and keep going. It’s fun and works well with my ADD nature – I never have to stay focused on one thing for long.

I’ve also had some great local opportunities in the past week. On Wednesday I shared a delicious lunch and even better conversation with Chef Dan, the head chef for McDonald’s, and on Saturday I had the opportunity to be one of the first of the public to tour our new Nationwide Children’s Hospital. More on those soon.

My goal for this week is just to get through it. Summer camp doesn’t begin until next week, so Cordy is home with me each day. Yesterday she gave me a math quiz on fractions using Draw with Stars on the iPad while I worked. Today she says she has a spelling test planned for me. I hope I pass.

Filed Under: Aaron, Cordy, money, the J-O-B ·


Jun 1, 2012

End of School Emotional Boogaloo

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Yesterday was the last day of school for our district, and OH what a day it was. I was a flood of mixed emotions: happy that my kids were moving up in grades, distressed at what to do with them until summer camp begins, sad that we’d be leaving behind some fantastic teachers, proud of how well both girls have done this year, and seriously wishing for it all to be over because the last week of school awards and assemblies and lunches and teacher gifts to buy has me giving up a lot of sleep to fit everything in.

As I mentioned earlier in the week, Cordy tried out for the talent show. I received an email from her teacher last week asking if it was OK for Cordy to participate in the talent show by reciting a poem, and I immediately responded to ask her if she maybe had the wrong child? My daughter? Up in front of people to perform, knowing there was applause at the end? No way she’d go for a sensory experience like that. But she reassured me that it was Cordy’s idea and that they’d send her up with a group so that if she backed out it wouldn’t be embarrassing for her.

So yesterday I spent two hours in a hot gym, watching all of the talents of her elementary school. Let’s just say Adele was a very popular choice for singing this year. Finally, Cordy stepped up to the microphone. I held my breath, worried she wouldn’t go through with it. But she did. And she took a bow at the end and didn’t freak out when people clapped.

(Sorry for the tiny video. Figures I’d pick the wrong side to stand on.)

I was so proud of her. Cordy has come a long way from the preschooler who wasn’t allowed in school assemblies because she would have violent meltdowns from the noise. She now sits through them with her class, claps (and covers her ears when it’s too loud), and marches up to the stage to recite poems. I have no words except…wow.

To further cap off the year, we received her first grade standardized test scores, and the results were outstanding. They fully expect her to be a part of the gifted & talented program in fourth and fifth grades.

Smarty pants

And I also couldn’t walk through her school’s hallway without staff members stopping me to tell me some funny encounter they’ve had with Cordy. A teacher saw her in the hallway one day and told her, “You’re very Cordylicious today!” to which Cordy quickly grinned and responded, “And you look fashiontastic!”

After a lunch on the lawn, we then had to leave Cordy’s school to pick up Mira from preschool. Mira has attended a special-needs preschool for the past two years to get speech therapy for her speech apraxia. (Mira really has no issues other than her speech and some clumsiness.)

Her teacher and aide are the same ones that were with Cordy for her two years of preschool – we made sure to request them when Mira qualified for services. They’ve known Mira since she was four months old, when I started bringing Cordy to preschool each day and would occasionally volunteer with Mira in tow.

Picking up Mira was terribly bittersweet. Her teacher and aide have been a part of our lives for nearly five years, and were absolutely a large part of helping both of our daughters become the girls they are now. When Cordy first came to them, we were uncertain about her future, but after two years she was a different child who demonstrated a fantastic ability to learn and a lot more patience and tolerance of things around her. They were so awesome with her, and in teaching us how to better help her.

Mira didn’t need as much support, obviously. Her teacher considers Mira to be a “typical peer” since other than speech her development has been fairly standard. Still, Mira’s speech now compared to at the beginning is, well, intelligible. She’s understood most of the time now. The greatest hurdle was getting Mira to participate in practicing words, something her teacher figured out how to do. She saw through the crocodile tears and forced Mira to put in effort to improve.

Knowing we weren’t going to see them after yesterday was sad. Mira will likely be attending Cordy’s school next year so yesterday was it. (Oh, did I forget to mention the principal was helping us with Mira getting placed at Cordy’s school and it looks likely now? Also? YAY!) We gave the teacher and aide cards and some photos of the girls to remember them. They asked if we had plans to have any more kids soon, haha. I said we had no plans at the moment, but if we did we’ll be sure to send them to her, even if just as typical peer students.

I then had to get out of there before I broke down in tears. So we took one last photo of Cordy, Mira, and the two women who had such an influence on both of them.

Mira, aide Ms. S, Cordy, and teacher Ms. W.

It’s all over now. Cordy will be going to second grade, and Mira will be entering kindergarten in the fall.

Sigh…it’s all too fast for me.

Filed Under: Cordy, growing up, memories, Mira, school ·


May 29, 2012

I Need A Vacation From My Weekend

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So, how was your weekend?

Mine was…busy. You’re supposed to rest and relax on weekends, right? Especially three-day holiday weekends? Ha. Not for me.

Saturday we took Cosmo to his first public outing as a non-vicious dog. (For those who are confused: a new Ohio law recently took effect stripping the vicious dog laws of any breed specific language. Now a dog is considered dangerous based on the individual dog’s behavior and not just because he was born a pit bull. It also means dogs like Cosmo can be adopted at local shelters instead of held and then euthanized.)

Clearly a threat to all. (Photo by Condo Blues.)

We were downtown for the PetPromise Rescue Run – a 5K fundraiser for the rescue group that gave us Cosmo. So many of the volunteers recognized him, all commenting on how BIG he’s grown.

The event was very dog-friendly and dogs were encouraged to be a part of the 5K. There were baby pools full of water for dogs to splash in and plenty of open grass for play.

Cosmo made a friend.

It was also crazy hot, so we walked two miles of the 5K before calling it quits. Cosmo was not used to the long walk, and to further complicate things, he refused to drink from any of the water buckets set out for the dogs. Somehow I find myself surprised that the dog who eats weeds, cardboard, and bugs had issues with germs from other dogs.

We’re walking…we’re walking…

Sunday was Mira’s birthday. She spent the entire day reminding us she was now five years old, and we responded by reminding her that she now has more expected of her. She didn’t like that part of turning five. We were visiting my mom for our annual Memorial Day weekend cookout, and for dessert we pulled out cupcakes and a candle.

I still can’t believe my little Miranda is five now. She’ll be going to kindergarten in the fall. She’s full of attitude and energy and more attitude and goofiness and yet more attitude and OMG if it’s this bad now what will she be like at sixteen?

Despite her desire to be a comedian, I continue to think of Mira as my sweet, serious baby…who still acted like a teen.

What are you lookin’ at, goat?
Monday was – wait for it – hot again, so we spent most of inside, with one short trip to a cookout. 
This is the last week of school for Cordy, meaning it will be the busiest week imaginable, with awards ceremonies, field day, and the school talent show.
Oh, did I mention Cordy auditioned for the TALENT SHOW? My child, who can’t stand crowds and really hates having attention on her and applause and would usually prefer to hide in the corner with a book, decided she wanted to be in the talent show. And she’s in. More to come on this later in the week – assuming she goes through with it.
Filed Under: Cordy, Cosmo, family time, growing up, holidays, Mira ·


May 15, 2012

Setting Up A Token System

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In the past week I’ve described the token system we use for chores and good behavior for the kids to three different people, so I thought why not share it with everyone? We don’t give an allowance weekly at this point because neither of our girls have a strong enough grasp of money, and because many of the things they want aren’t things at all but privileges that have little to no cost to us.

We reward Cordy and Mira for good behavior and for helping around the house with doubloons. The idea was originally given to us by one of Cordy’s therapists, suggesting a token system can work well for kids with high-functioning autism, as they can see a concrete reward for tasks they accomplish and then use those tokens to “purchase” the perks they want.

The idea for using doubloons came from Jake and the Neverland Pirates last fall. Cordy saw it on TV and loved how the pirates collected doubloons for solving problems throughout the show. At the same time, Cordy was obsessed with dressing as a pirate princess for Halloween. Aaron realized that would be the perfect token system, so he bought a big bag of plastic gold coins, grabbed a mug for each kid (from our renaissance festival days) and we started to plan the system.

I think they’re Greek coins instead of pirate doubloons. Eh, they don’t know the difference.

You can make the system as loose or rigid as you like. We’re somewhere in-between. There are daily tasks that they know they earn doubloons for – these are often tasks that they have trouble remembering to do, or are difficult things we want them to master.

For example, Cordy has trouble remembering to turn off her bedroom light each morning. She gets one doubloon for remembering to do it each morning. She also has to take a pill each morning, which she doesn’t like to do, so she gets a doubloon for doing that, too.

When the task can be done without reminder and without the need for a reward, we phase out the doubloon reward and find other routine tasks to reward for. They get doubloons for helping Aaron or I without complaining (like helping us load/unload the dishwasher or take out the recycling) and for assigned chores that they complete.

We also award them doubloons for good behavior. If they’re playing well together, or if they spontaneously do something helpful, they can get bonus doubloons. 

They keep their coins in the mugs and then use them to buy privileges. Some of the privileges they can choose from:

  • Extra 20 min on the computer/iPad – 1 coin
  • A treat of 1 piece of candy – 3 coins
  • Staying up an extra 30 min after normal bedtime – 5 coins
  • Getting fast food for dinner – 5 coins
  • A trip out to the zoo or another fun place (if we didn’t already plan for it & time allowing) – 10 coins

Of course, anything that Aaron or I decide to offer to them doesn’t cost anything. If we plan to go to the zoo one Saturday, they aren’t required to pay. If they want something that isn’t on our list, we can assign a doubloon value to it. Mira once wanted a Happy Napper toy, but she had no money. We set a value of 20 doubloons for it, and she saved her coins until she could cash them in to buy her toy.

We like using this system at the moment because the coins have no actual money value (other than the few dollars it cost to buy the bag of them), so they can use them for non-money privileges like extra computer time or staying up late. Many times these privileges are just as valuable to them as anything they could buy. When they’re older we can move to an allowance instead of tokens, but at this age it works very well.

The system works well because it is flexible and can be adapted for nearly any family. You can set your own guidelines on how tokens are earned and cashed in, and you can adjust the rewards and tasks that earn tokens as a child grows and masters new skills. It’s a fun system that lets kids earn their privileges and gives parents a chance to set non-monetary rewards for good behavior. Win-win.

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Filed Under: Cordy, daily life, Mira, money ·