family time Archives - Page 16 of 16

Jul 23, 2007

Our Weekend Outdoors, Complete With Screaming

So after the stress of last week, we had a full weekend outdoors where I tried hard to forget about anything involving the word “evaluation”. But it kept coming back at me.

Saturday we spent the day at a picnic with several good friends, many of whom we haven’t seen in months. One couple has a son who had many of the same issues that Cordy does now (he’s two years older), and it was nice to sit and discuss solutions they have come across to help him. At one point my friend remarked that it was like we had twins born two years apart. But her son has made incredible progress in the past two years, giving me a lot of hope that Cordy will, too.

Cordy had a wonderful time running in the large open backyard. She spent most of the time on her own, but she did join the two (older) boys in a quick ball game. Actually, she chased them, shouting “Ball! Cordy kick the ball!” and occasionally they’d stop and let her kick the ball.

Running with the big boys

Future soccer star – just look at that form!

She did have several meltdowns during the day, and she refused to eat much of the food. I think she did have fun, though. We just had to keep her away from the road and from the guys throwing knives in the backyard. By the time we left, she was completely coated in a fine layer of dirt. (She doesn’t mind the feel of dirt. Touching grass will set her off, but not dirt.)

Today, we joined Aaron’s parents to go to Inniswood Gardens to see the Big Bugs exhibit. The park was packed full of families with kids. Cordy did pretty well at first – when we came to the first bug sculpture, we let her out of the stroller to get closer. All was fine until she tripped and fell into the grass. She had a minor tantrum over that, but recovered quickly. However, that was enough to make every stop in the park a struggle. If we stopped, she wanted to run. If we wanted to go, she wanted to stay in one place. Over and over again during our time there, she would throw herself to the ground and cry and scream.

But today I paid a lot more attention to everyone around me. And I noticed that none of the other kids acted like Cordy. No other parents were dealing with the tantrum when telling their child not to touch the sculpture. No one else had to peel their child off the pavement just because they said, “Stop! Don’t run too far ahead of us.”

I also noticed other people staring at Cordy at the park. It was clear some people thought we had no idea how to control our child. I could almost hear their thoughts – What’s wrong with that child? Those parents don’t know how to discipline that kid!

Cordy’s a giant, which makes it even worse. She looks like an older three year old or maybe a four year old (she’s now wearing 4T), so people expect her to behave like one.

All I wanted to see was one hissy fit from someone else’s child. One tantrum, one episode of breath-holding or foot stomping or screaming or hitting or collapsing on the ground. But there were none. Today must have been Perfect Child Day at Inniswood, and we clearly missed the memo and brought our hair-trigger meltdown child mistakenly. I was painfully aware of how different she is while mixing with the other families in the park.

Part of me feels sad for her, because I don’t like to see her unhappy so often. She is a happy child – she can just go from happy to inconsolable faster than a method actor on speed. And I don’t want people to think of her as this screaming monster, which I worry is the image strangers take away after being near her. She is so much more than her tantrums.

And part of me, I’m ashamed to say, feels resentful. Resentful that I have such a difficult child while everyone else got the easy ones. Resentful that we can’t go anywhere and really have a great day, because there will always be at least one major meltdown to cloud the day. There will always be one point when Aaron will turn to me and ask, “Why did we think coming out here was a good idea?”

But then I feel guilty: Cordy doesn’t try to be difficult on purpose. She’s just a little kid! You’re an awful mother to resent your toddler for something she can’t control! She probably wants to fit in with other kids, but can’t. Bitterness to guilt to pity, then back to bitterness – it’s an awful cycle of emotions I’m trapped in. I don’t want to be here anymore.

Last week was a step forward. I’m feeling more at peace with the evaluation process and I’m eagerly awaiting the next step so we can get to work on helping Cordy cope with her issues and get past the frustration. Because instead of a face streaked with tears and scowling, this is the face I want to see more of:

Filed Under: Cordy, family time · Tagged: toddler battles

Apr 9, 2007

Because It’s Not Easter Without A Gift From Aunt Dot

By Christina ·

We had a quiet Easter this year. Instead of choosing to go out to eat, and dealing with the possibility of Cordy melting down in her Easter finest, it was decided to have a quiet meal at my grandmother’s house, where Cordy didn’t have to dress up, and she could run around the house all she wanted before and after the meal.

The meal was excellent, and soon afterwards Aunt Dot began handing out her goodie bags to everyone. Well, not quite everyone – this year she forgot about Aaron, but made it up to him by giving him a half-empty tray of chocolate bunnies, and then some Peeps she found in the bottom of her bag. Aaron traded one of the chocolate bunnies to another family member for a Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg, so he was content.

For those who are new and don’t know about Aunt Dot, you can read more here and here.

I didn’t come out too bad this year: I got my standard bag of cashews. She always gets me large containers of cashews, and usually chewy, old cashews, too. Why in the world she thinks I like cashews this much I’ll never know. I mean, sure, I like nuts as much as the next person, but a pound of cashews each holiday? Lay off the nuts. Luckily, that’s all I got, so I had less to dispose of.

Cordy’s bag contained a chocolate rose that she can’t eat (the thing is enormous and hard as a rock), a cute Little People person in an egg, and a bag of Goldfish crackers. Cordy’s eyes lit up when she saw the “fishies!”, but mine equally lit up when I saw the expiration date that proved these “fishies” were meant for the garbage bin and not her mouth. My mom distracted her with some pretzels, and all was well. I suppose I should have brought Aunt Dot’s birthday gift for Cordy with us, since it’s now the right time of year.

My mom once again won this year’s worst gift award. Last Easter she won for her expired box of cake mix. This year, however, was quite an unexpected gift. My mom has collected brown or brown and white cows for some time. She does not like black and white cows. Aunt Dot, of course, always gets her black and white cows, despite my mom telling her over and over that she only collects brown cows.

So this year, mom reaches into her bag and pulls out this:

And it moos. A lot. You barely touch the thing, and it moos at you. But wait, it gets better! Not only is it a mooing cow, it’s also a candy dispenser! Can you guess where the candy comes out?

Of course! It’s the amazing candy pooping cow! Just lift the tail to open the hatch under it, and then push down on the cow (who will moo at you, of course) to have a round candy pellet plop out into the milk can. We’re a family of candy lovers, but watching a cow poop out your candy can ruin anyone’s interest in trying the candy.

And finally, more proof that my family is now accepting of my time spent blogging came when my mom and one of my aunts were sitting in the kitchen, laughing in amazement about the candy pooping cow. They looked at me, shoved the cow into my hands and, at nearly the same time, said in a hushed voice, “You have to blog about this one.”

Filed Under: family time · Tagged: Aunt Dot

Feb 25, 2007

I’m Not Sorry My Child’s Presence Bothers You

By Christina ·

I know there are people in the world who are simply not interested in children and don’t like being around them. I can understand – kids can be a real handful and honestly, pretty annoying at times. But there are times when I am amazed that people can be so anti-child, especially with nothing provoking the response.

Today we were out at the mall, and decided to stop for lunch. We got our table, and Cordy was, at that moment, not interested in sitting down to eat. She cried for a couple of minutes, until we could settle in and find something to distract her. A banana did the trick, followed by crayons and paper to draw on. There was only one other occupied table in our area – a college-aged woman and an older woman. At one point while Cordy was crying, I made eye contact with the younger woman, who gave me a smile of understanding.

Only a few minutes later, all was happy and peaceful at our table. Cordy had a cup of milk to drink, and was spending her time coloring while Aaron and I chatted.

Five minutes later, the hostess comes by with an older couple, and tries to seat them at the table across from us. The woman quickly stops her and says, “No, we’d like somewhere more…quiet.” During that pause before the word “quiet” she turned around and glared at Cordy. The look could best be described as somewhere between I smell something bad and seething repulsion. The hostess offered to turn down the music in the restaurant before she understood the woman’s meaning and lead them to another section.

Aaron and I looked at each other and laughed. At the moment they came by, Cordy could have been the poster child for toddlers in public. She was quietly involved in coloring neatly on her paper, had her sippy cup of milk nearby without a drop spilling out of it, and the floor beneath her held no missing crayons, crumbs or other items from the tabletop. Not a sound was coming from her. I can only guess that this woman assumed that all children are loud and obnoxious, and fully expected Cordy to change into a screaming, food-throwing monster as soon as they sat down across from us.

(Or maybe she reads my blog and knows the tantrums Cordy is capable of? Nah, she didn’t look like the mommyblog-reading type.)

Did I point out that this is a family restaurant? As in, there is a large emphasis placed on children being there, with interesting knick-knacks on the walls, and an awesome kids menu coloring book. If the woman didn’t want to be around children, this was not the place to eat.

While we ate, several other families were seated, many with children. As we left, we looked around at the restaurant full of children and wondered where they managed to seat that couple that didn’t have kids around? We guessed they were next to the kitchen.

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Have you been over to my reviews blog lately? I have a new review posted about the book, Good Kids Bad Habits. If you’re looking for ways to get your kids to eat better, get more exercise, or take better care of themselves, you should check it out!

Filed Under: family time · Tagged: idiots

Feb 15, 2007

How NOT To Take Your Toddler Out Into The Snow

By Christina ·

1. Decide it’s OK to play in the snow, even though your toddler has been a cranky nightmare.

Never a good idea.

2. Don’t check the back door before you suit up, to make sure the door isn’t iced shut.

Yeah, it might have been smart this morning to check the door first. Turns out, it had a small snow drift up against it, with a layer of ice over that, making the door impossible to open. I pushed it, I kicked it, I put my whole body weight into the door, but nothing would open it. Of course, Cordy was at the door the entire time, anxious to go outside.

I tried to tell her that we needed to go to the front door, but this two year old can’t comprehend changes in plans like that, and the tantrum began. She wanted the door open – right now. And my inability to open the storm door was translated to her as I got her all dressed up only to dash her dreams of playing in the snow. This was the result:

Change is hard.

3. Carry crying toddler to the front door, then force her outside.

She screamed and cried until I dumped her down on the ground outside. Then, realizing she was out in the snow, she suddenly was very, very happy.

Wow, mommy, those are some big footprints.

4. Tell toddler we’ll go into the backyard via the gate, only to find gate latch iced shut as well.

Foiled again.

5. Promise toddler snow, when actually a half inch of freezing rain fell after the snow, forming a hard shell on top of five inches of snow.

There’s nothing fun about playing on hard ice. And Cordy didn’t weigh enough to break through most of it. I barely broke through it with each step.

Today – walking on snow. Tomorrow – walking on water?

6. Allow toddler to play outside without mittens, resulting in very cold hands.

She fought me several times over the issue of mittens, so I gave up and let her out without mittens. Our time outside lasted less than 10 minutes before she came up to me, holding her hands out, and started crying and saying, “Hands! Hands!”

I picked her up, brought her inside, and stripped off the outer layer of clothing (she had on two pairs of pants, two pairs of socks, etc.). Grabbing a fleece blanket off the couch, I wrapped her up, held her on my lap, and helped her warm up. Soon she was happy again.

But despite the happy ending, this is not the way to play in the snow.