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Dec 7, 2012

A Love Letter To A Dog

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It was just over a year ago that our family visited the local shelter for their Mingle with the Mutts event. It’s a chance to see the dogs that the shelter has for adoption, and local rescue groups are given space to bring their dogs as well.

Until that point we were strictly a cat family. Our Siamese cats acted like dogs, anyway. But the thought of adding a dog to the family had been growing, helped by professionals telling us that a dog could be good therapy for Cordy, and a good way to teach responsibility for both kids. I spent some evenings staring at Petfinder, and this one sad-eyed puppy face kept popping up on my screen with every search.

The wrinkled brow and those floppy ears got me.

It was at Mingle with the Mutts that we first met Cosmo. He was late to the party, and all four of us had already found (separate) dogs we were in love with. When we met the little pup who connected with my heart online, I thought…maybe this dog is a little too crazy for us.

Unlike some of the other puppies at the event, he was all over the place, pulling hard at the leash and trying to lick every face he could get to. His energy was tremendous. And Cordy loved him at first sight.

Places to go, people to sniff…

Even though I was concerned about his energy, and Aaron really liked another dog we saw, we arranged for Cosmo to come over for a home visit. He was still bursting with puppy energy and at that visit we learned the finer points of puppy-proofing as he sniffed out and ate three crayons while he was here. (He still has a supernatural ability to find – and eat – lost crayons.) We were convinced we wouldn’t be approved to adopt based on that incident, and there were also other families who had put in applications to adopt him.

Somehow, they thought it was a good fit and we received an email saying we were approved. Just before Christmas, our first dog joined the family and we began adjusting to life with a dog.

It hasn’t been easy. Cosmo had mastered many of his puppy manners, thank goodness – he was housebroken and crate trained and knew a few commands. But he was still a five month old puppy, and a puppy who had been found on the streets nearly starved to death. The puppy we met at 25 pounds was 40 pounds when he came to live with us and 60 pounds a month later. He’s now over 90 pounds and still considers himself a lap dog.

He’s chewed up pillows and blankets. The kids have learned that all stuffed animals and small toys must be kept off the floor or he will chew them. Despite my original plan that he wouldn’t be allowed on the furniture, he has claimed the couches and can often be found stretched out asleep on them. And he still tries to lick our faces.

But after a year, I can’t imagine life without him. He’s so patient with the kids, even if they handle him too rough occasionally. He’s helped provide a new source of love for Cordy – she can turn to him for comfort when the human world is too overwhelming, and he’s right there to accept her love.

He’s given Mira a purpose, and she happily accepts the responsibility of feeding him and letting him in and out. He even listens to Mira when she issues commands, which is impressive when you consider he’s twice her weight.

Future dog whisperer?

While I work during the day, Cosmo often sits next to me and rests his head on my arm. If anyone is down or sick, he’s right there beside them. He’s always ready for a game of fetch or a walk, and when we’re happy he absorbs that feeling and acts like that puppy we first met.

I should add that the cats have not been forgotten. They all get along relatively well. Dante, our older Siamese, is particularly fond of him.

I’ve also never had cleaner kitchen floors in my life. That dog lets no crumb remain on the floor.

Cosmo has also earned his keep as a fantastic guard dog. He barks at any outside threat (real or imagined…seriously, Cosmo, the squirrels are NOT a threat to us) and is the absolute best solution for getting door-to-door salesmen to accept “no thanks” the first time I say it.

He’s never been aggressive to any visitor to our house – he follows our cue that if we’re friendly with someone, he should be, too – but the occasional growl I hear from him when I’m nervous about a situation reassures me that if there ever was a real danger, he would try to protect us. 

Standing, er, resting guard on the couch.

He’s an absolute goof who usually wants nothing more than to please us and maybe get a few belly rubs. He can get in the way or be a bit of a punk at times, but overall his needs are so small. He asks very little from us and provides so much love in return.

After a year of having Cosmo in our lives, I can say with certainty now that I’m so happy we got a dog, and that we got this dog. I am a dog person now, and our family is better for having him with us.

I utterly love this silly mutt.

His current state as I write this.
Filed Under: Cosmo, daily life, love, memories ·


Nov 29, 2012

Itty-Bitty Christmas Trees

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My plans to turn this house into a home have already started. Step one was putting into motion a way for me to feel comfortable opening the curtains in my living room that look out into my backyard. Why? Because with the apartments behind us, it now feels like the backyard and the back of our house are exposed to everyone in that community watching us all the time.

Village Communities/Ardent Communities (if I haven’t made this clear, avoid renting or buying from this company at all costs) FINALLY put up the fence for their apartments, but they didn’t even connect it to the other part of their fence. So anyone could walk 100 feet beyond our house and come around to the other side of the fence and into our neighborhood’s backyards. At the moment that six foot fence also has a packed-down dirt mound three feet high on the other side – you could practically hop over it from their side. Way to do the minimum and still be jerks, VC.

Several people had suggested getting some trees to help block the view, so I didn’t sit on my sofa and stare at a panoramic view of bland, depressing apartments every day. Thankfully, Fall is a great time to buy trees from the local nurseries at a nice discount.

My mom (the one with the green thumb) went with me to pick out the right trees, and we brought home five little emerald green arbor vitae evergreens at half off. At the moment they’re about three feet tall. They grow to be about ten feet tall and about four feet wide, and have the advantage of being trees that require very little maintenance. Plant them in a good spot, water them, and let them grow – perfect for someone who can’t even keep a garden growing.

All of our electric and gas lines are buried just outside of our fence, so we had to plant them inside the fence. Taking visual perspective into consideration, this isn’t a bad thing since they’ll block the view even sooner than if they were planted further away.

My little green sentinels, standing guard.

Of course, Mira took one look at them and exclaimed that they were “the most perfect little Christmas trees!” she had ever seen. They’re still getting used to their new home, but I have a feeling that next year these new trees will be decorated by a certain little girl who can’t stand to see a blank canvas.

Naturally, it’ll take years for them to reach their maximum height. That part isn’t so fun. Maybe I can find some plant steroids to get them growing faster?  I also need to plant a few more to give us full coverage – I didn’t realize just how long my backyard is.

Ah well, if they don’t block the view for me, at least they’ll block the view for the next people to own this house. And just knowing they’re out there makes me feel happy.

Screening trees? Check. (Well, in a few years. They’re just cute evergreens at the moment.) My curtain rod arrived for the living room this week, so that may be my next project. No more spring rod curtains!

Filed Under: daily life, domestic zero, home ·


Nov 15, 2012

Wedding Ring Panic Attack

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Last night was a fairly normal night of putting the kids to bed and then coming back downstairs to get a little more work done and watch TV.

About half an hour into our child-free time, I suddenly realized something was missing. My left thumb reached across my palm to brush my ring finger, like I do absentmindedly several times a day to adjust my wedding ring, only to realize there was no ring to play with.

Looking down at my hand, I could see it was bare. Where did my ring go?

I’ve been complaining for months that I needed my wedding ring resized. I had to make it larger several years ago to continue wearing it through extra weight and pregnancies. But since losing weight my ring has lost that snug fit, going from tight to comfortable to seeing light between finger and ring.

The ring has far more personal meaning to it than monetary value. We were young and just starting out when we were married, so the rings we selected were nice, but inexpensive. I thought I might upgrade it someday to something a little more fancy,  but this wasn’t the way I wanted to go about doing so.

At first I figured it must have slipped off as I sat on the couch. So I casually started reaching down into the couch cushions to feel for the smooth metal band. Nothing. I then told Aaron that I had lost it as I stood up and began checking my pockets and the floor around me.

We tore apart the couch looking for it as I tried to mentally retrace my steps. I knew it was on earlier in the day, and the backyard was as far as I had gone that day, so at least it had to be somewhere in the house or yard.

I searched the dining room table and kitchen counters before continuing to progress backwards through my evening. I had tucked Mira in and reached under her to give her a hug – maybe it slipped off then? I was like a jewel thief in her room, carefully reaching under her pillow and blankets, trying to not wake the recently asleep child. No good.

And then I heard Aaron say “Found it!” He was in Cordy’s room, where earlier I was straightening out her comforter before bed. The ring had somehow come off as I was smoothing out her sheets.

Whew.

That was a wake up call to get the ring resized, though. So today we went to a jewelers and handed over my wedding ring – a ring I never take off – to be made smaller. It was a size 7. It will now be a size 5.5. Even my pinky wasn’t that small when I was younger – how is it I’m losing more weight from my fingers than anywhere else?

I’m hoping to have my ring back just before Thanksgiving. But I admit I feel naked without it.

naked hand

It’s the one piece of jewelry I always have on, and the one with the most significance. I keep having moments of panic, wondering where it went, before I remember that it’s with the jeweler. At least when it returns it’ll be much smaller, with less risk of it going astray.

Do other people feel naked without their wedding rings (or other important piece of jewelry or accessory), or am I the oddball? Have you ever lost something of significant personal value by accident?

Filed Under: daily life, me me me, memories ·


Nov 12, 2012

Making A Home Out Of Our House

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We’ve lived in this house for over eight years now. It’s our first house, and the only home our two daughters have ever known.

So why, after eight years, do we have only ONE room painted, and still have nothing hung on walls? Remove the furniture and it’s builder’s standard white through most of the house.

I have no actual answer for that question. We were in such a rush to move in once the house was ready that we didn’t take the time to paint before we moved everything in. So the only room that was painted was Cordy’s room, since I was pregnant at the time and it was the one room that had no furniture at first. I also didn’t want to hang anything on the walls until they were painted.

We also never planned to stay here this long. During the big housing boom, it was common to buy a house and sell it for a profit within four to five years. We bought a house that fit our modest budget, expecting our salaries to go up, and to make a profit on the house, so we could trade up to a better neighborhood.

Ha. Sometimes fate likes to kick you down a notch. Four years after we signed the mortgage agreement, instead of looking for our next home, we were struggling to make payments for this home and keep our family together.

And now four years later, we’re still here. We didn’t lose the house (thank goodness!) but at the moment we also have no ability to sell it without taking a loss. Most homes in our neighborhood are selling for far less than their original prices. To make it worse, there’s this immediately behind us:

Still getting uglier every day!

I think we still haven’t made any changes over bitterness at not being able to leave. The house has become a prison, reminding us every day that we’re stuck here and not going anywhere anytime soon. We were lucky enough to not lose it through the recession, but now we find it also won’t let us go.

I’ve gone through the stages of grief over being stuck in this house, and I may have finally reached acceptance, or at least a temporary acceptance. I still have no intention of staying here beyond another few years, but I’ve also hit the point where I’m ready to live here, not just subsist here.

All of our walls are still white (except for Cordy’s room). Nothing has been hung on the walls. The house still looks like we’re apartment dwellers afraid to do anything to the standard built-ins for fear of losing our security deposit. But this is our home. It’s time to start treating it as such. There’s no need to keep it neutral in decor unless that’s what we want.

We’re refinancing the house using a new refinance option to cut down our monthly mortgage, freeing up a little more money each month. We’re no longer in that dire situation from four years ago, so we can spend a little money on simple updates to the house.

And now I have home remodel fever.

I want to paint, to hang cabinets, to install a backsplash in the kitchen, to put in new faucets…the list goes on and on. Pinterest DIY boards are now my unhealthy obsession.

There’s only one teensy-tiny problem: I have no talent or skill in home remodeling.

I also can’t seem to find anywhere to learn these skills. Some of the home superstores offer workshops on limited projects, but I need the absolute basics.

I guess I have a little time before I need to figure out how to use power tools. Because before we can begin many of these projects, we also have to clear out a LOT of clutter. About eight years worth of apathy clutter in this house. Starting with the garage.
 

 That’s the real, unedited, garage mess. And that’s also after several hours of clearing out a large part of it and sending six boxes to Goodwill.
I’m writing all of this out here to hold myself accountable to begin these changes in our house. It’s time to make this place a home.
Filed Under: daily life, domestic zero, me me me, money ·


Oct 19, 2012

We Might Belong On The Gluten-Free Bandwagon

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Gluten-free seems to be the new big thing in food lately. Some say that switching to a gluten-free diet will cure nearly anything bothering you. While that’s certainly not the case, there is a growing body of evidence that many people might be sensitive to gluten, even if they’re not completely unable to eat it. And for those who truly need to be on a gluten-free diet, the influx of new products in the grocery and restaurants with labeled gluten-free menu items has made it a lot easier for them to find foods that comply with their dietary needs.

I’ve wondered if my family would see any benefit from going gluten-free. I have no digestive problems, but I do have a constant battle with low energy, especially after eating. Aaron, on the other hand, has a long history of stomach aches, cramping, and other digestive problems. But I’ll admit I also feel like gluten-free is the new fad that, while necessary for a small percentage of people, is being adopted by some for no reason other than being trendy.

While at BlogHer in August, Udi’s Gluten Free Foods was there as a sponsor and suggested I try going gluten-free for 14 days to see if there was any benefit to it. I expressed interest, and they sent me a sampler of some of their products to get me started.

I’ll confess: I did the challenge more for Aaron than myself. He’s never talked with his doctor about his digestion issues, and I suspected something in his diet was probably the culprit. If he was willing to try it with me, then maybe we’d have a clue to his stomach issues, or at least be able to cross one potential cause off the list. (Note: we didn’t have the kids go gluten-free. I didn’t feel the need to stress them out with a sudden shift in their diets for such a short period of time.)

We started on October 1 and stayed gluten-free for 14 days. The Udi’s bread, cookies and muffins were great to help with our craving for baked goods, but we didn’t limit ourselves to those items. I found a gluten-free pasta at the grocery made from corn and quinoa that was just as delicious as any wheat-based spaghetti.

It was HARD to go out to eat. Everything had to be carefully scrutinized, ingredients checked, restaurants vetted over the internet before we made a choice, etc. And even then we still ran into problems. We carefully checked before going to a local pizza shop for dinner one night. They advertised their gluten-free pizza crusts – too bad they were all out of gluten-free pizza crusts at the time. I had a salad and some baked gluten-free fries for my dinner that night.

I also found that gluten is in nearly everything. Sauces were a big hidden source of gluten, especially soy sauce. Even some lunch meats have gluten.

But there were also several foods we already were eating that were still safe to eat. My ham sandwiches were fine as long as they were on gluten-free bread. Pirate’s Booty cheese puffs and hard cheeses were still OK. Our Indian dinners we make at home were also naturally gluten-free. Some McDonald’s entree salads were still fine, too. And Nutella? Still gluten free. (Yay!!)

While we did have to be more careful and switch some of our usual products to gluten-free versions of the same food, it wasn’t as hard as I expected it to be. I didn’t feel deprived of any food. And the gluten-free foods tasted really good, too. Udi’s whole grain bread has a lot more flavor and texture than the bread I had been using. The bagels and cookies are also delicious. They were moist and had plenty of flavor, erasing my worries of food that tasted bland or had a hard texture.

At the end of 14 days, it was time to return to gluten. To make it even more of a gamble, it was the same day I was leaving for a three-day trip to Cleveland. I hoped that nothing horrible would happen to me.

The results: I do not appear to have any gluten sensitivity. While I enjoyed the foods, and did notice that I wasn’t quite as foggy-headed after eating, I didn’t notice any significant differences overall.

Aaron, on the other hand, was a different story. Throughout the challenge, he said he didn’t feel all that different. I started to doubt that gluten was a problem for him. But then he went back to his usual diet and, well, Monday was a rough day for his insides. Not to get into too much detail, but he felt pretty lousy from the stomach cramping and intestinal upset. He’s already returned to eating gluten-free to see if it will calm his digestive system down again, and will be seeing his doctor to get more information.

(If he’s willing to call the doctor and talk about this, then I know it must be pretty severe. He hates going to the doctor and hates discussing this topic even more.)

The next step will be deciding if we’ll try going gluten-free with the kids. Mira’s pediatrician has said it would be worth a try since she had a blood test for allergies that resulted in no actual allergies but an elevated IgE level, meaning she was having an inflammatory response to something. And if one or two members of our household are gluten-free, then there’s a good chance most of the food the other members eat will be gluten-free, too, just for ease of food preparation.

I’m not exactly thrilled with the idea of having family members who need to be gluten-free. It is a little more expensive – or a lot more if you buy mostly convenience items – and requires more thought and planning to eat outside of the home. But if it’s needed for the health of my husband and/or my kids, of course I’ll suck it up and do it. At least it’s easier to find products and support for it now.

Big thanks to Udi’s for giving us the push with the 14-day gluten-free challenge! It helped us think more carefully about what we eat and may have even uncovered a clue to Aaron’s health.

Full disclosure: Udi’s sent us product samples and coupons to help start the 14-day gluten-free challenge, but we still supplemented beyond that. And while most beer has gluten, I can happily report that most vodka is gluten-free.

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Filed Under: Aaron, daily life, healthy living, me me me, reviews ·