Zucchini Muffin Madness

Those who know me know I’m a lousy cook. Give me water and I can somehow set it on fire.

But baking? Baking I’m a little better at. Not good enough to be a regular for my daughter’s preschool bake sale, but I’ve managed to stumble upon success for a few foods, including my Zucchini Muffins.

I can send these muffins to school in Cordy’s lunchbag and Cordy thinks they’re a special dessert. She doesn’t care that they have whole wheat flour or zucchini in them – she just thinks they’re yummy. (Hey Jamie Oliver – your Food Revolution is starting a new chapter right here!)

I like that I can guarantee there’s no corn syrup, food dyes or other artificial food products in these muffins, which is way more than I can guarantee of the food served up at our local schools.  Also, I love that even though Cordy and Mira watch me make them, they don’t even realize they’re eating vegetables!

You’ll never see me sharing a lot of recipes here, but I will share this one, because I think it’s pretty damn tasty. Also, while I may call it “my” recipe, it’s actually a slightly modified version of a zucchini bread recipe on AllRecipes.com. But a few friends on Facebook asked for the recipe, so I figured it was easier to post it in one spot than to send out several e-mails.

Zucchini Muffins

Ingredients:

2 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour *
* change to 3 cups whole wheat flour if you prefer
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
3 teaspoons ground cinnamon*
* substitute nutmeg or other spice here if you have a cinnamon allergy (my girls have mostly outgrown their intolerance to it)
3 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup natural applesauce (no sugar added)
1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar *
* you can use all white sugar if you like, but I prefer the addition of brown – go with your preference
3 teaspoons vanilla extract (REAL vanilla ONLY)
2 cups grated zucchini
1 cup chopped walnuts

Directions:

1. Grease two muffin pans. (I use cooking spray.) Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.

2. Sift flour, salt, baking powder, soda, and cinnamon together in a bowl. Don’t have a sifter? A whisk works well enough.

3. Beat eggs, oil, applesauce, vanilla, and sugars together in a large bowl. Add sifted dry ingredients to the creamed mixture, and beat well. Stir in zucchini and nuts until well combined. Pour or spoon into greased muffin pans, filling each space only 2/3 to 3/4 full to allow for expansion.

4. Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean. Cool in pan on racks for 20 minutes. Then remove muffins from pan and completely cool.

Cooling them while still in the pan is important. I found if I take them out of the pan too soon, they become hard on the outside.

If you’re going to keep these muffins around for more than a few days (good luck – they go fast here), store them in the fridge. A quick 5-10 sec. microwave zap will warm them up again.

Changes to the original recipe included cutting the oil in half and substituting applesauce for the other half, using whole wheat flour, cutting back on the amount of sugar and using half brown sugar. I’ve tried several variations on the recipe, including substituting 1/2 cup of ground flax seed for 1/2 cup of flour, and nearly every variation has still turned out well. It’s a great recipe to play with and make it your own.

Added bonus: after baking these, your entire house smells delicious for the next 12 hours!

There you go – my one and only attempt at ever sounding like a food blogger. If you make these, be sure to tell me how they turned out for you, and any changes you made to the recipe!



Baby Steps Forward

Part of the challenge of starting a new job has been childcare. I’m training on day shift for all of April, and while Mira’s preschool has flexible drop-off and pick-up times, Cordy’s school has a specific start and end. If someone isn’t home when her bus stops at our house, she isn’t let off. (And serious consequences happen at that point.) Right now, no one can be home at that time.

Last week was Spring Break, so we had a little time to find a contingency plan. The solution was latchkey, a program in the school designed to allow working parents to drop their children off early in the morning and/or stay late after school. Latchkey has teachers to provide activities, snacks and supervision for kids of all ages. There was an opening in her school’s latchkey, so with the (cautious) recommendation of her teacher, we signed her up, and her first day was Monday.

I was worried about how it would work out. When we met with the latchkey teacher, I explained Cordy’s issues and ways to work around her challenging behaviors. The teacher explained that as long as Cordy could follow the basic instructions and rules of latchkey, she would do fine. But that was my worry: sometimes the most basic rules are the hardest for her to follow.

Aaron reported that when he dropped her off Monday morning, she was a little resistant to going to the gymnasium and not her classroom. She didn’t want to put her backpack in the designated basket when she knew it belonged on her hook in her classroom across the hall. I hoped the afternoon wouldn’t bring a bad report and have us one step closer to looking for another childcare option.

That afternoon the teacher told us she did well. She had trouble in the afternoon during “homework time” and asked if we could bring in some activity books or coloring books to keep her occupied. No problem – Cordy will spend hours working on an activity book if allowed.

The second day is often harder than the first, but to our surprise Tuesday morning went smoothly. She put her backpack in the basket and didn’t complain at all. In the afternoon, the report was even better. The teacher said Cordy helped her set up the snack table for all of the kids, and was happy to work on her activity book during homework time. Her classroom teacher also said Cordy had a great day at school, too.

I think this might just work.

But school will be out for the summer in less than two months. So my thoughts have turned to summer camp. Trying to find a summer camp that is affordable and will accept Cordy isn’t an easy task. We could send her to the camp she attended last year, but it’s very expensive and the fast-paced schedule for her age group would likely be too much for her to handle. And let’s not even mention the daily swim lessons – I don’t want to relive that nightmare again.

I’m currently researching two summer camps for Cordy. One is a camp for children with varying levels of special needs (kids without special needs are welcome too), with therapists present to help with anything she might need. No worries about her being kicked out. The other is a mainstream Montessori that appears to be welcoming to children with special needs and could be a great way for us to evaluate a different curriculum method for her.

I’m so proud of how hard Cordy works to fit into the world around her. On a very basic level, she’s beginning to understand that she’s not like many kids, and I think it bothers her. Latchkey is just the beginning of introducing her to more mainstream opportunities, and it could be the next link in getting closer to Cordy being fully mainstreamed.

I hope this just might work.

And her sister will always make sure she doesn’t feel alone in being different.


Freeze Frame

Pull out a camera, and Mira immediately wants to cheese it up. And while it gets tedious after awhile, it’s impossible to say no to her. I mean, c’mon, how can you turn down the chance for unlimited close-ups?

Shy smile

Sweet, yet neutral look

Huh? What exactly are you going for here, Mira?

This? This is what I face for the next 16 years.


New Blog Post, Now With MORE Evaluations!

Despite knowing that more than half of the adult world are parents, it’s easy to feel alone sometimes. Especially when your kid doesn’t follow that standard growth curve, be it physically, developmentally or socially. You want to talk to other parents about your child, but at the same time, you worry no one will understand. Or worse – they won’t care and instead judge your parenting in its place.

Which is all a long-winded way of saying thank you. Whenever I need advice, encouragement, or just someone to say I hear you, I can always turn to the blogging community for support. My previous post was mostly about me trying to process the news I had been given about Cordy, and all of your comments were very, very welcome. I was feeling a little alone and uncertain about what was the best course of action for her, so crying it out in a blog post seemed like a good way to work through it. It’s a lot of responsibility to make choices that could affect her entire life, and I often worry I’m making the wrong ones.

You’ve given me fresh ways of looking at the situation, new ideas to consider with her team, and a lot more hope that no matter what decision is made, it’ll all work out. This is the heart of blogging for me – the community – and I hope this aspect of blogging never goes away. I no longer feel alone; instead I’m empowered and know that I’m doing the right thing by carefully considering the options and continuing to educate myself more on each option.

At this point, a lot of my worrying is on hold until we find out what schools she’s offered acceptance into next year. Our school district has a lottery for schools, and we can apply for up to three. We’ll have to see what schools are even available to her. Depending on the lottery, she may not even have the choice of a special-needs classroom. Or if we really want to pursue that option, we’ll have to work with school officials to bend the rules to get her where she needs to be.

Instead, I now turn my attention to the question of summer camp. Cordy attended a mainstream summer camp last year with little difficulty (OK, there were a few bumps along the way…), but this year she’s old enough to be in the older kids camp, with a more rigorous schedule. I’m not sure if it would be the best fit or if we should consider a special-needs camp. I’ll be spending the next weeks researching all our options and likely doing more hand-wringing.

And then there’s Mira.

Not content to let her sister get all the attention, she had her own school district evaluation a few weeks ago, and just last week we received the results of that evaluation. A team of experts again convened around a table with me, and one by one they gave me their report on Mira.

(Spoiler: She doesn’t have autism. Not even a chance. At all. Nope, none. Just wanted to get that out there before we begin. Our purpose of the evaluation was to see if she qualified for further speech therapy.)

First, the psychologist explained that Mira scored on the high end of average range for social/emotional skills and adaptive behaviors. She knows how to play the social game, and she has a good grasp of imaginative play and daily living skills. No surprises here.

Then gross and fine motor skills were addressed. She is at the low end of average for both of these, but not behind enough to qualify her for special needs services. Both therapists explained that most of her problems with these areas were in motor planning, and depending on the results of speech would tie in with a diagnosis of speech apraxia.

Then the speech therapist started her presentation. She began with verbal comprehension, and explained that she’s never seen a child of Mira’s age score so high. She was easily working with concepts rated for a five- year-old, and the therapist said she probably could have handled the seven-year-old material but she stopped the test before that point, fearing that Mira would tire out before the other therapists had the chance to evaluate her.

At this point I was resigned to the idea of Mira not qualifying for any additional services. I was hoping she’d be offered some speech therapy through the school district, hoping we could cut back a little on the $100 a week we’re spending on her current speech therapy. But with such good evaluations – even possibly gifted in language! – it seemed unlikely they would want to help her speech issues.

But then the therapist brought up the area of articulation, which in Mira’s case she described as “a mess.” She drops a lot of consonant sounds, substitutes sounds for other consonants, and generally is very hard to understand. In terms of placing her on their scale, she ranked well below the cut off line for average.

Put the articulation and verbal comprehension scores together and she still is average, but in this case the therapist recommended the school district still provide services. They don’t want her to become frustrated at not being understood and then stop trying. We’re lucky that she’s a persistent little thing right now, repeating herself hundreds of times if needed until you understand what she’s trying to say.

So the final verdict was she has all of the signs of speech apraxia, which can be remedied by plenty of speech therapy. I’ll admit, I probably seemed far cooler about this news than they expected. But c’mon – a little speech delay? Pssh – that’s nothing. I can handle that! Did you meet my older daughter three years ago when she scared the school nurse with her violent meltdown? (Side note: the special ed teacher in the room DID meet my shrieking child three years prior, and still clearly remembers that day. She was the one who carried Mira into the building for me that day, and she’s ecstatic to hear of Cordy’s improvements.)

Our choices at this point for Mira are special-needs preschool or just speech therapy. They’re concerned she’ll be bored with her classmates in special-needs preschool, but the benefit is they can also offer her OT and PT to help those minor problems in gross and fine motor skills. Since it’s a half-day program, they recommended placing her in a typical half-day preschool for the other half of the day.

I’m leaning towards that option, only because they also promised me her teacher would be Cordy’s first preschool teacher, Miss Wally. (*Not her real name.) I may not have written much about her, but know that I’d walk through fire for that woman. She worked miracles with Cordy, and I remember last year we both cried – teacher and parent – on Cordy’s last day with her. She told me if Mira ever needed anything, I was to make sure they sent Mira to her. And now they plan to.

So it would appear I now have two children who are considered to be “not typical.” But I don’t mind. They are both awesome little girls, as different as the sun and the moon, and I’m glad I get to be their mother.

As a former quirky, nerdy girl who didn’t fit in, and possibly still doesn’t, these two girls couldn’t be more mine. Aaron would argue that he fits that quirky description, too. Which means we’re the perfect parents for them.

They may debate that statement when they’re teenagers.


Love in the Silence

I’ve been very lucky to have mostly healthy family members for most of my life. Other than Aunt Dot, I haven’t lost a major member of my family in many, many years. One of my grandfathers died before I was born, and the other died when I was Cordy’s age. Since then, immediate family members have kept on going and I’ve grown used to accepting they will always be in my life.

So when Aaron woke me up last weekend to tell me my mom had called, and that something had happened to one of my grandmothers (my mom’s mom), I immediately had a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. Filled with worry and panic, I called my mom back to find out what happened. They thought grandma had a stroke, she told me, and she can’t use her right leg. Her heart was also beating too fast. It was too soon to know how serious and what the long-term effects would be, but she seemed to not lose any cognitive ability.

I’ve spent the last week visiting my grandmother and getting daily updates from my mom. They confirmed that she did have a small stroke, and considering where the stroke happened in her brain, we’re very lucky it wasn’t more devastating. My grandmother started the week unable to walk, with right-sided weakness, but by mid-week was already learning to use a walker. They then moved to her to rehab, where they reported this weekend that she might get to go home as early as the end of the week if she keeps making progress.

My grandmother and I have never been very close, so my panicked reaction came as a little bit of a surprise to me. She comes from a time and place where emotions are held close and not shared with others, while I wear my heart on my sleeve. I was always too wild, too loud, too dramatic as a child, never able to live up to some unknown standard of how a child should behave, it seemed. She never understood what I was going through – no matter my complaint, I was always told how easy I had it compared to those who lived when she was a child. I could never impress her.

But she’s also my grandmother. When I was sick as a child, she was there even though I wanted my mom. And while she wasn’t as comforting, she did make me soup and read me stories as I laid on the couch. When we’d visit her house, I’d collect acorns in her backyard and pretend to make pies, and in the evening she’d measure me with her dressmaker’s measuring tape to see how much I’d grown, writing the numbers down on a plain white pad of paper.

In the past few years, I’ve listened more to her stories of her youth, trying to mentally take notes for myself. I vowed at Christmas to put my Flip camera to good use this year and videotape an interview with my grandmother, so we’d have a record of her life for posterity. Stories of growing up during the great depression in a poor farming family, stories of joining the ladies’ auxiliary unit of the Navy to support the war in WWII, and stories of raising three daughters on a farm with no running water, where if you wanted chicken for dinner, you had to go kill your own chicken. Last weekend I thought I may have missed my chance to save those stories.

Knowing that she’s getting her independence back so quickly gives me hope that she’ll be with us for a little while longer. Had she been forced to remain in a nursing home or assisted living, I doubt she would have lasted long. She’s a fiercely independent woman – she’s lived on her own for 34 years, ever since my grandfather died unexpectedly – and she’s not the type of person who could go on living if she couldn’t do it her way. As cold as it may sound, we all hope to someday (a long time from now!) find her dead in bed. No suffering, no long, drawn out decline or illness. It’s exactly how she’d want to go, and probably how my mom and my aunts want to go as well. That entire family prides itself on independence.

But despite our independent streak, my mom’s family is still a close one. My mom and aunts have been visiting my grandmother daily, keeping her spirits up, getting her whatever she needs, collecting her mail and keeping her house tidy while she’s gone. You’ll never see hugs exchanged, but they are there in our actions. You will never hear any I love you’s being said, but they are there in the silence between words. 

I’m thankful my grandmother is still with us for now, and I’ll do a better job of remembering that she won’t be with us forever, so we should appreciate all the little moments. As soon as she’s feeling better, I’ll be dusting off that Flip camera and preparing for one of the most important interviews I’ll ever conduct.

And two little girls will someday want to know more about their G.G.
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