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Sep 6, 2011

Dealing With A Hairy Situation

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Cordy has beautiful hair.

She has hair that movie stars would kill to have. Shimmery, fine golden strands, and a mighty-thick head of them. It’s nearly impossible to find her scalp under all of that hair. Some hairs curl, some are straight, but all of them work together to create a lot of body.

And a lot of knots. As in, her hair can be perfectly combed and all she has to do is turn her head to the side to look at something and suddenly it’s tangled again. Laying down at night leads to matted hair, and even putting it in a braid overnight still results in knots. It seems to have an affinity to tangle itself without the slightest provocation.

After trying to get a wide-tooth comb through Cordy’s hair while she screamed, cried and fought me last week (a regular occurrence around our house), I decided that the time had come: we were paying a visit to a hair salon.

At nearly seven years old, Cordy has yet to visit any professional to have her hair cut. When she was younger she wouldn’t let anyone touch her gorgeous curls without a lot of screaming. It took nearly a year for her preschool teacher to let her put her hair in a ponytail. I combed her hair after a bath only by first putting on a favorite TV show to distract her, and even then she’d still cry and fight me. When I tried to cut it, she screamed that cutting her hair was hurting her. (And with her sensory issues, it probably was.)

We got by with me providing the occasional sneaky trim until last week, when I couldn’t take it anymore. Cordy’s hair is thick and needs the hands of a professional. It needs to be shorter and with layers in it to lighten the weight. This isn’t an issue of finding the right comb or the right conditioner or detangling spray – we’ve tried many and nothing works well. Until she’s able to comb her own hair or let me comb it without crying at the slightest tug, it has to be shorter and easier to manage.

So I made an appointment for Cordy on Saturday at a local salon focused on kids. I was worried that she’d have a meltdown or lash out at the stylist, but hoped she could hold it together enough to let them get a basic cut in. We washed and combed her hair right before we went in the hopes that it would have few(er) tangles in it when the stylist started combing it.

(And of course, Mira asked to have her hair cut, too. She wasn’t about to miss out on a little pampering.)

Here they were before going inside:

Before the haircut
Cordy’s face is slowly being swallowed by her hair.

Cordy was up first, and asked to sit on Clifford instead of in a big-kid chair. Hey, if it helps her cope she can sit on whatever she wants, right? I warned the stylist about her sensitive head, although she still was a little more rough than Cordy liked. I stood next to Cordy and held her hand, soothing her when she started to get worked up. She spent most of her time watching Backyardigans, but occasionally the hair tugging would get to be too much and she’d get upset and beg to leave. I’d calm her down, and then she’d get upset again – repeat X too many times to count.

Getting a haircut
Trying to hold it together
Honestly? It was exhausting for me, but needed to be done. And Cordy did better than I expected. For all of the whining and begging and occasional tears, she still remained in her seat for most of it and followed most of the directions the stylist asked of her.

Mira? Oh, she did fine. The worst part for her was that she wasn’t able to watch herself in the mirror while getting her hair cut. Vain little creature.

Serious about her haircut
she’s sneaking a glance in the mirror to the side

Finally they were both done. Mira had a cute curly bob that evened out the area where she tried to cut her own hair last year. And Cordy had a shorter, layered cut that will (hopefully) result in fewer tangles and feel a little cooler on her head.

Cute hair
Cordy is smiling because the torture is over – and because she was promised a balloon

We could have gone shorter, but I don’t know if Cordy would have tolerated another minute of it. So it’s good for now, and we’ll re-evaluate in the months ahead if we’ll attempt this again anytime soon.

Or maybe I’ll just improve my hair-cutting skills.

Filed Under: Autism, Cordy, daily life, growing up, Mira ·


Sep 1, 2011

Wait, How Is It September Already?

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Back to school is always a busy time of year, but this year seems extra busy for some reason. The changes that have been happening around here in the last two weeks have left me underslept and overworked. I’m running on caffeine and willpower at this point, and I’m nearly out of willpower. I spent all of yesterday convinced it was Thursday only to find it was actually Wednesday, and yes, I really do have to go through the REAL Thursday now.

Let me back up for a minute.

First grade is still going well for Cordy. Amazingly well, in fact. Every note home has been a positive one, with the teachers praising how well she’s adapting to her class. She brought homework with her on Monday and then quickly completed it, only to learn the next day that it was her homework for the entire week. When I asked her to practice her spelling words, she rolled her eyes at me and told me, “these words are too easy!” And then she spelled every one correctly.

The only issue we’re having at the moment is Cordy’s transportation. Her bus route for the ride home has her on the bus for nearly two hours. That’s a mighty long time to be trapped on a bus when you’re six years old. I’ve been appealing to the transportation office for a change to her route, but have so far been ignored.

Mira started preschool this week. She attends a half-day Pre-K class in the morning, and then attends a different half-day preschool class in the afternoon. This is similar to last year’s arrangement, allowing her to get speech therapy from the afternoon class while still getting plenty of academics from her morning class. Mira loves it, as it gives her twice as many people to perform for.

The afternoon preschool didn’t start until yesterday, though, which left me awfully tired on Monday and Tuesday. I had to take her to school, then come home for a few hours of sleep, then go get her again. After a few days of less than four hours of sleep, you can now understand how I thought yesterday was Thursday. I was delirious from sleep deprivation.

And then there’s Aaron. Three years after being laid off, after working several contract jobs that didn’t fit his interests, paid little, and/or weren’t long enough to turn into real jobs, after dealing with the depression that comes from feeling like his job skills were inadequate, he finally got his reward.

On Monday he started his new job – a real, permanent job, that requires a skilled employee, with a salary that isn’t insulting. He now has benefits that we haven’t seen in a long time – paid time off, holidays, and the holy grail of benefits: health insurance. We’re paying quite a bit for it, but it’s a decent health plan and I’m thrilled to have anything that doesn’t exclude every symptom of any illness I’ve experienced in the last thirty-five years.

Even better (to him, at least): he gets to work from home a few days each week.

So…yeah. Busy. The three of them have all of these changes happening and I’m in the center, playing ringmaster to it all and trying to keep everything running smoothly while also working my 42.5 hours each week. (It’s actually more than that, but I don’t bill for hours I spend at home worrying about work.)

My job hasn’t changed much; I still work third shift as a contract RN/manager, and most days I enjoy what I do. If I could change anything about my situation, it would be to have benefits, followed by working daylight hours at some point. Not sure if or when either of those might happen, but I hope for one of them someday.

By next week I should be able to get six hours of sleep on most days again. Maybe I’ll even try to clean the house a little? (Ha.) Or maybe I’ll just sleep even more.

Despite the constant rush of these new routines surrounding me, I’m still very happy for all of the changes. Aaron’s new job, the girls doing well in school, having health insurance again – I’ll willingly trade a little bit of my sanity for all of these things.

But I also wouldn’t mind if the weekdays would speed up and the weekends would slow down. I’d much rather repeat a Saturday than a Thursday.

Filed Under: Aaron, clearly insane, Cordy, daily life, Mira, school, the J-O-B ·


Jul 27, 2011

A Car Story, Part Two: The Ford Fusion Hybrid

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I was a little misty-eyed when I had to give the keys to the Ford Focus back to the Ford representative after five days of fun. But my sadness quickly dissipated when he handed me the keys to the Ford Fusion hybrid waiting in my driveway.

Shiny!
I’ve only had the chance to drive a hybrid once before, and that was for about 5 minutes back in 2006. Hybrid vehicles have come a long way since then, and the Fusion is nothing like the ultra-small original hybrid cars.

My first impression of the car was that it felt so…grown up. I don’t mean it looks old by any means, but it presents an image of professionalism, success and distinguished style. It reminded me a lot of the Ford Taurus with a fresh twist on the trustworthy mid-size family sedan.

Inside the car was certainly nothing old or predictable. Sitting in the driver’s seat, I was immediately impressed by the enormous amount of space. Lots of leg room, lots of head room, and plenty of width, too. My husband and I could sit in the front seats without bumping elbows, and the girls had plenty of room for each of their booster seats in the backseat, far enough apart that they couldn’t easily annoy each other. If needed, there was enough room in the backseat to squeeze an average sized adult between the two booster seats.

In the center of the dash was the Ford SYNC touch screen computer, with many of the same features as the Ford Focus. The menus were designed to look a little more subdued than the same menus on the Focus, but were still just as easy to navigate. The steering wheel also contained the same controls for music selection, volume, and the voice-activated command system.

But the real test was driving the Fusion. Would a hybrid be able to deliver as much power as a traditional gas engine? I turned the key…and heard nothing. My first thought was that the car had somehow died in my driveway, and panic set in as I wondered how I was going to get them to come fix it. Sure, the radio came on and everything on the console had come to life, but there was no sound from the engine.

Then I noticed the air conditioning was working. Hmmm, I thought, the air conditioning usually doesn’t work unless the engine is on. So I slowly placed the car into reverse and attempted to back out of the driveway. And there was power! I did not expect that the Fusion would make NO NOISE AT ALL when I started it. Amazing!

(Side note: parents, don’t buy hybrids for your teens. You’ll never hear them sneaking out of the driveway in the car.)

After recovering from the shock of the whisper-quiet start, I then noticed the rear-view camera display on the touch screen. It gave me a clear view of everything behind the car when it’s in reverse, and even beeps if it thinks I’m getting too close to anything. This could be a very useful feature for parents of small children, or anyone who lives anywhere near small children and animals. When I shifted back into drive, the camera display vanished again.

But how does it drive, you ask? Well, it drives just like any other car. I didn’t notice any lack of power and I didn’t really notice when the car was using the battery versus the gas engine power. In fact, the Fusion hybrid has an impressive acceleration. There are displays on the dash that show you when you’re using battery power and when you’re recycling braking energy back into power for the battery. It was difficult to not watch the little meter going up and down at first – watching where I was driving was more important!

On the right side of the display is a fun little graphic of a vine with leaves. The more responsible you drive (driving in such a way as to use the battery more than the gas engine and be eco-friendly) the more leaves appear on the vine. It’s like a game to see how many leaves you can get on that vine, and you find yourself competing against…well…yourself, trying to get more leaves with each trip.

Lots of leaves – I win!

What I really like:
– the display told me I had 580 miles to go until empty when I first got the car…580 MILES on one tank of gas! And by driving the car responsibly, I kept that number fairly high.
– the amount of room in the Fusion is incredible, making it very comfortable to drive
– the hybrid’s battery usage display is fun to monitor, challenging you to drive better to preserve gas
– such a smooth, easy car to drive with no noticeable shifting from battery to gas and plenty of power

What I don’t like so much:
– this hybrid is not for you if you make a lot of stops close together. Stopping and starting means you rely less on the battery and more on the gas. If you run lots of short errands, a traditional Fusion might be a better choice for you.
– the backup camera can be distracting at first. Backing out of a parking space or my driveway, it always caught my eye, but I still felt like I needed to look behind me as well. If you’re as easy to distract as me, that camera could do more harm than good.

Overall, the Ford Fusion hybrid was a gorgeous car that I enjoyed driving. I received a few compliments on it from strangers at the grocery store and the mall, and I felt rather proud of driving such a stylish and eco-friendly vehicle.

If I had to choose from the Fusion or the Focus, which would I pick? Tough call. I think at this point in my life I’d probably pick the Focus. It has a slightly younger, zippy feel to it, and while it is smaller I actually like the cozy feel for a sedan, especially since we also have an SUV if we need a larger vehicle.

But at the same time, I can see myself preferring the Fusion when my daughters are a little older, have more stuff to carry around, and need even more space apart from each other.

(Full disclosure: Ford let me borrow these two cars for five days each. No other compensation was provided, and I still had to buy my own gas.)

Filed Under: daily life, reviews ·


Jul 26, 2011

Fun in the Sun

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Cordy and Mira demonstrate proper head and eye protection in the sun.  Too bad Cordy already scorched her shoulders in a sunscreen mishap earlier last week.

sunglasses

(Yes, this is totally a shameless photo filler post. But hey, look at the cute kids!)

(No, really, my review of the Ford Fusion is coming soon. Although I nearly typed Ford Fission when I wrote that, which would be an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT kind of car, wouldn’t it?)

(And did I mention the cute kids on this little mommyblog?)

Filed Under: Cordy, daily life, Mira, mom blogs ·


Jul 21, 2011

Picky Eater

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Going out in public with my children can sometimes be a challenge. Especially if going out involves eating, and that eating is taking place either in someone else’s home or at a restaurant my girls aren’t familiar with. Far too often I deal with someone looking at my children at one point and sighing, “So what WILL they eat?”

I have picky eaters.

I’m well aware that my kids have a small list of foods they will eat, and I’ve probably already heard every criticism and judgment someone could think to throw at me. I didn’t expose them to a wide enough variety of foods when they were younger. I didn’t expect them to eat a bite of everything placed in front of them. I gave in to their demands for the same meals over and over. I’m raising children who will have a limited experience with food and force others to bow to their whims.

Yep, I’ve heard it all, and honestly? I don’t care. I know I’m doing the best I can to give them healthy foods to eat. I still make the effort to have them try new foods, even while I give them the foods they like most of the time. And if anyone claims to know anything about dealing with a picky eater, it should be me – I was one of the worst picky eaters as a child, and now I love trying new foods.

Mira is the more adventurous one when it comes to food, but even she can be picky. Occasionally, she’ll try something new, but only if we make it seem like we want it all and really don’t want to share it with her. If we’re asking her to try a bite, then clearly it’s poison and must be avoided at all costs.

(Although it’s hilarious when she does beg to try something and doesn’t like it. She’ll take one tiny bite, force a smile and say “Yum! I like it!” just because she doesn’t want to admit that she begged for something yucky. Ask her if she wants a second bite, though, and she’ll suddenly become generous and say, “No, I just wanted one bite.” Sure you did, kid. Wish you only ever wanted ONE bite of my garlic bread.)

Cordy is far more cautious with food. Her autism and sensory issues make food a very touchy subject. She likes mac and cheese, but at home it has to be in an easy mac bowl. (And she really likes it to be neon yellow, which she can’t have due to her sensitivity to dyes. It’s been a long journey to get her to eat the white cheddar mac and cheese.) Milk has to be white – no flavored milks for her! Applesauce must be unflavored.

She refuses to drink water and will let herself get dehydrated rather than drink it – a splash of 100% juice makes it acceptable to drink. Any foods she normally eats that are presented in an unfamiliar way (like potato wedges vs. french fries) are usually rejected.

But even with her picky eating, Cordy’s short list of acceptable foods includes several healthy options. She loves salad, as long as it is lettuce and dressing only. She’ll eat apple slices and sometimes bananas, although all other fruit is unacceptable. And while she certainly likes cookies, crackers and gummy treats, I try to only buy organic and dye-free varieties for her.

It took some effort to convince her the cheese wasn’t carrots because carrots cannot exist in salad. 

I know it frustrates my family that Cordy and Mira often refuse the foods they made for all of us to share. My mom has commented on more than one occasion that they’ll never eat healthy by being this picky. However, I think that the years have clouded her recollection of my youth.

Here’s what I remember from my childhood. For main dishes, I ate only a handful of foods: mac and cheese, spaghetti, pizza, ham sandwiches, or fast food. I gagged at the very sight of rice. (Thanks a lot, Lost Boys – it took me years to overcome that aversion to rice.) The only vegetables I would even allow on my plate were green beans and occasionally carrots. My mom would beg me to try new foods and I’d turn my nose up at everything. She never forced the issue, though, and more often than not she would give in to my demands for a familiar food.

From that history, you might assume I grew up to have a limited palate. But instead, my tastes matured as I moved into my twenties, and I sought out new foods. I ate new vegetables. I actively tried new foods at parties. Chinese food became a favorite – yes, even the rice! As I matured, my food interests matured with me.

Now? I love food. There are only a handful of foods that I’d politely refuse to taste. And most of those are due to being forced to eat them at some point as a child, creating an aversion so strong that I don’t even like the smell of those foods.

I have faith that no matter how picky my daughters are now, they will not remain this way forever. I refuse to start a negative relationship with food by forcing strange foods on them. So we are short order cooks in our house. Aaron and I have our dinner, we invite the kids to join in on those foods, and if they don’t want to, we make them something else. Occasionally they eat the same thing we do, and we heap praise on them for trying something new.

Out in public, both Mira and Cordy understand that if there’s nothing they’re willing to eat, they may go hungry. I usually have snacks available if I know we’ll be gone for more than one meal, but otherwise I leave them at the mercy of their picky natures. If they’re really hungry, they’ll eat something, even if it is just a hamburger bun.

Someday they’ll be ready to try new foods, but it will happen at their own pace. And when they’re ready, I’ll be waiting to introduce them to all of the delicious foods I’ve discovered after my days of picky eating.

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Filed Under: being a mom, big issues, Cordy, daily life, Mira ·