I’ve talked about food so far for Hot by BlogHer, and now it’s time to move on to exercise.

But wait! This just in! I said I’d get a button, and here it is:

If you’re participating with me, feel free to snag the button and display it proudly on your blog.

So, back to exercise…

I hate exercise. Actually, that’s not true. I usually feel great after a workout, but it’s that whole getting my butt off the couch and starting part that I don’t like so much. And with kids, school, work, housework, and hey, is Ellen on TV right now? getting in the way, finding time to get up and move isn’t so easy. But part of loving myself is taking better care of myself, and exercise is a must for a healthy body.

Since I’m getting zero use out of our gym membership (note to self: cancel membership), I’m going back to the Workout: Home Edition model, aka workout DVDs. Less embarrassment that way, too – I don’t need skinny fitness models watching me while I try to work on my self-esteem as well as my abs.

I’ve done workout videos in the past, and I remember how boring they are. The moves are lame, the routines dull, and I feel pretty stupid doing arm circles and leg lifts to cheesy 80’s pop. I want something exciting. Something fun. Something that will make me feel like I might be learning something along with getting a great workout.

The search through the sea of fitness videos was long and painful:

I finally decided I wanted a dance video. After all, it worked so well for Lotus, it had to work for me! Learning a dance would be exciting and fun not boring, and I’d convince my body to participate because we’re not working out, we’re dancing and having FUN! See the difference? There were so many choices: salsa dance, dancin’ to the oldies, cardio dance, ballet, tap, bellydance, African dance, urban dance, and even country line dancing workouts. Oh and this one, too:

Uhm, no. Not yet. Let me get to the self-esteem part of my life change before we tackle striptease, OK?

I thought about it some more, and settled on this:

I love Bollywood movies, and I’ve had a few lessons in basic bellydance, too. And it fit my requirements: dance! fun! something I’m interested in! The reviews all said things like “oh, this video is a lot of fun, although it wasn’t as strenuous as I hoped it would be.” Perfect! Just what a woman who is getting back into exercise needs. (And Lotus, it doesn’t require shoes, either.)

So yesterday, while Mira napped, and Cordy was at preschool, I pulled the DVD out of the Amazon box, unwrapped it and popped it in the player, ready to sweat and have FUN! Hemalayaa stressed that this wasn’t a workout – this was play! (Like every other workout instructor, she was just a little too excited about exercising, er, playing.)

The workout started out with some quick moves, but I managed to keep up. Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, hip rock, etc. She didn’t give me much time to figure out each new move, but I can do this, I thought. And look, they all have their hair down – they must not expect to sweat much. Haha – I can be so naive sometimes.

That was just the warm up. Then the dance moves started coming fast and furious: turn in a circle, shoulders bouncing (how do they do that?), now step-step-point, hop three times on one leg to the left and then the right, knees in and out, arms alternating left then right – would you give me the chance to catch up you crazy Bollywood freak!?!? And her favorite saying: don’t forget to SMILE!

I tried to smile. I tried to look beautiful with my exotic moves, exuding confidence and sensuality while shimmying and bouncing. But in reality I looked more like I was having a seizure.

I wanted to look like this:

(ooooh, they’re so cool they can dance on a moving train!)

But looked more like a dancer who was rejected from this:

(Have you been high today?)

I made it through 2/3 of the torture before I couldn’t handle it anymore. My knees were killing me and I couldn’t catch my breath. I skipped ahead to the cool down, then collapsed on the floor with my water bottle.

The cat had no sympathy. He thought I looked like a dork, too.

I’m not defeated, though. Hemalayaa will not get the best of me, and I’ll be back for more humiliation play. But maybe I need to take things slower? Start with something more my speed?

Wait. Advanced may be too much. Better start with the beginner.

Those of you who are with me on this journey, how are you getting your body moving? Remember, carrying laundry up and down the stairs doesn’t count.