BlogHer12 Archives - A Mommy Story

Aug 9, 2012

That One Time I Walked In A Fashion Show At BlogHer ’12

You may have seen the reports that while I was at BlogHer ’12, I was in a fashion show.

I know, I know. Stop laughing – I’m serious!

When I was first contacted about participating in the first ever BlogHer fashion show, I almost wondered if I was being punked. Except the email was from Elisa and I know she’d never do that to me. She had noticed me discussing BlogHer fashion on Twitter – of course, I was discussing why my jeans are perfectly acceptable conference wear, since that’s how I dress in real life. My jeans are practically my brand!

I’ll admit I went through a lot of emotions on the subject. First, I was completely flattered to be asked – what an honor that my name was considered to be in such a big event! I’m not a big name blogger by any means, and fashion is not a topic I generally write about.

Another emotion was giddy. Never before in my life have I considered being in a fashion show. Ever. While some little girls dreamed of being a model, I dreamed of being an astronaut. And as I got older – and heavier – it simply wasn’t on my radar. When you’re presented with quite possibly a once-in-a-lifetime experience like this, it’s easy to quickly add it to your bucket list.

But then the fear set in. Me. On stage. Dressed up. And walking. Being on stage I can handle, even being on stage and dressed up. But add in walking or talking and I suddenly fear making a fool of myself in front of a crowd. I have lost a lot of weight, and I’m ready to celebrate that, but I’m not model perfect.

Would people make fun of me? The big girl on stage wobbling in her heels? When I was younger I was the fat, ugly girl, a message I internalized after so many others had declared it to be true.

I didn’t want fear to win this time, so I quickly accepted before I could talk myself out of it. But even in the days leading up to it, that nagging voice of low self-esteem kept filling my head with doubt. Even at the fitting it was hard to accept a compliment from anyone. And being unable to fit in the first dress I tried on just provided ammo for that little voice that I would fail. I anxiously awaited Saturday night.

Then the magic happened.

I was still feeling like an ugly ducking as I sat down for makeup just hours before the show. I joked with the Elizabeth Arden team that my usual makeup regimen was face wash and a moisturizer with sunscreen. For special occasions I’d switch to a tinted moisturizer. Rebecca Restrepo, a woman who deserves the title of world-famous makeup artist, took her time and provided tips on how to use makeup to highlight my own natural beauty. She took my own makeup habits into account and created a look that was natural and simply luminous. I glowed.

No really, I love this woman. She works magic.

Next, the Paul Mitchell team took control of my hair. My stylist asked what I’d like, and I showed her a photo of my outfit and gave her free reign to do what she thought best. The finished result was stunning.

We had to wait to get dressed, and I remember going into the bathroom and just staring at myself in the mirror.

bathroom instagram

I was beautiful. But my hair wasn’t drastically different. And my makeup wasn’t that heavy either – hell, she used a tinted moisturizer as a foundation! So with the changes being so minor, why did I feel and look like a different person?

It wasn’t until my dresser had helped me into my outfit (jeans! imagine that!) and I turned around and found myself face-to-face with a different me in the mirror that suddenly it all made sense.

All of this fuss to make me look beautiful for the runway also made me feel beautiful on the inside, and what was reflected in that mirror wasn’t just makeup, hair and clothing, but also an inner beauty and self-confidence that had been hidden for most of my life. A simple trick of prettying the facade had convinced my self-esteem that I really was beautiful now, but logic also kicked in to say look closer – it’s still the same you. You just never noticed.

We were then lined up and prepped backstage for our big moment. The nerves were still there, but they were partially mixed with excitement. I had made a last minute decision to keep my phone with me, and even though we hadn’t rehearsed it, I was going to photograph the crowd at the end of the runway. This was a blogger fashion show, right? Well, that’s what this blogger would be doing in this circumstance!

The walk was a blur. I remember taking a deep breath right before I climbed the stairs to the stage. I remember the cheering and hearing my name, although I couldn’t see out into the crowd because of the lights. I remember letting those cheers fuel my walk as I strutted to the center of the stage.

Photo credit: Mark Von Holden Photography

I remember lifting my sunglasses and giving my best surprised act – omg! look at all of you out there! how ya been? – at the end of the runway. I remember my sunglasses falling low on my nose as I tried to take a photo of the crowd (it didn’t turn out – too bright) and fumbling with my phone as I tried to get it in my coat pocket.

Showing the crowd some photo love. (photo credit: Melisa Wells)

I remember walking back towards the main stage and seeing friends in the front row, yelling and cheering me on, and then as I neared backstage seeing Kelly standing in her row of chairs and whooping as loud as she could. And as I stepped backstage, I remember thinking wait – it’s over? No! I want to go back out!

Now I had all of the confidence in the world. I was unstoppable. I sat backstage while others took their turn on the runway and couldn’t stop smiling.

And after? I felt like a new person. It was amazing. I felt beautiful. Powerful. Worthy. I happily jumped into photos with friends at the CheeseburgHer party. I even photobombed a few folks, too.

Sorry, The Next Martha, I couldn’t resist.

I didn’t want to go to bed that night, mostly because I didn’t want to wash off the makeup. I took self-portraits in my hotel room bathroom before pulling out the face wash, sad to remove this pretty face. But you know what? I still woke up beautiful. (Well, aside from the bedhead and lines on my face from the pillowcase.) Taking off the makeup didn’t remove what I had discovered the night before.

Thank you, BlogHer, Kathryn, Darlene, Sheila, 6pm.com, Elizabeth Arden, Paul Mitchell, Petsmart, all of the other fantastic blogger models, and everyone involved with the fashion show, for giving me the experience of a lifetime, and helping me find my inner beauty.

You helped this 36 year old mom, who has never in her life considered herself worth a second look, much less a fashion show walk, blossom into the swan I always wished I could be. It was there the whole time, but I couldn’t see it until now. Real beauty is feeling comfortable in your own skin, accepting who you are, and loving yourself.

(And a special thank you to two lovely women I had never met before who approached me at CheeseburgHer to tell me how fantastic I was in the fashion show. You have no idea how much your kind words meant to me!)

PS: The full video of the fashion show can be found at BlogHer.com. Elizabeth Arden has a great set of photos from the event, too.

Filed Under: big issues, BlogHer12, love, me me me, shameless bragging, shameless promotion ·

Aug 6, 2012

Hey, I Just Met You, And This Is Crazy…

By Christina ·

…but here’s my blog, so read it maybe?

If you’re new here, it’s possible you just met me at BlogHer ’12 or BBSummit’12. And you might have typed my url into your browser to find out a little more about the person you had a (hopefully positive!) encounter with. So why not cover some of the basics today, shall we?

So…A Mommy Story, eh? Not exactly the most original blog name.

Well, yes. I do know that. But way back in ancient times (you know, 2005), when blogging was just becoming a “thing,” blog names were FAR easier to obtain thanks to little competition. You could get all the good domains then. Now you have to do crazy stuff like get a .net or misspell something or add an extra word in to get the domain you want. It’s led to some creative names, I’ll admit.

So where did the name come from? Well, when I was still a brand new mom, I remember watching all of those “stories” on TLC – A Wedding Story, A Baby Story, etc. and so the name was born.

OK, I’ve looked around here a little. You really want to stick with A Mommy Story? Doesn’t seem to really fit you.

Not really. I’ve outgrown – or rather my kids have nearly outgrown – the name and it doesn’t quite cover all of the topics I blog about. Not that any blog name could sum up all the random around here, unless it was Christina’s Random Blog or something like that. Which, in today’s world, is probably already taken as a domain name. I may change it someday, but it’s hard to give up all of that Google page rank and other mumbo jumbo that I’m told is Very Important in the world of social media and influence.

You really seemed to know a lot of people at the conference – did I just meet a high-profile blogger?

Nope, sorry to disappoint, but thanks for the compliment! I do know a lot of people, though. I’ve been blogging since 2005 and have attended every BlogHer from 2006 until now. That’s several years to meet people, both online and at conferences. And so I’m now lucky enough to walk through any hall at BlogHer and have a very high chance of seeing someone I know, even if I can’t remember their name. (I’m awful at remembering names. And faces if you’ve changed anything since we last met, or if you look nothing like your Twitter/Facebook photo.)

But while I know a lot of bloggers, including some “high-profile” ones, I’m not one myself. I guess you could say I have influence but don’t let that influence fool you into thinking someone’s offering me a book deal or I make a living at this kind of thing.

Wow, you’ve been blogging since 2005? You’re like a grandmother of blogging!

Um, well, at least you didn’t call me ancient. True story, BlogHer ’09, by the elevators. Which is also where I was called a grandmother of blogging (but they had never heard of me). Yes, this blog has been around since 2005, and before that I had a LiveJournal blog for a few years. It was the perfect outlet to find other parents to commiserate with early on, and since then I’ve developed several awesome friendships with people all over the world. And? It’s fun. This hobby isn’t just a fad for me.

Besides, does this face look old enough to be a grandma?

Over Times Square

Wait – if you’ve been around that long, how come I’ve never heard of you? You must not be very good at this.

It’s a fair criticism. Unlike some of the famous bloggers, I’m not all that funny, I rarely make people cry, and I’m no good at exaggerating for effect. And my posting could be more frequent. I’ve never been a professional blogger – I’ve kept this blog updated while working a day job.

Early on it was a part-time job, then I was in school getting another degree, and then I spent the last three years working hard full-time jobs on third shift. (Working overnights.) That hell has now passed, though, and I’m happily comfortable with a work-from-home job that doesn’t require me to stay up all night.

Also, I’m not all that good at business. Oh sure, I have some fantastic ideas in my head, but it’s hard for me to nail down a business plan and see it through. I’ve tried, but then I get bored and something shiny comes along and distracts me and then I’m chasing my next big idea.

So the blog continues as it is. I take opportunities when they present themselves, but don’t actively chase down opportunities. I promote issues and brands that I feel strongly about. And I don’t promote myself as much as I probably should. You could call me coy, I suppose. Which is better than calling me lazy.

Speaking of distracted, you seemed, uh, mighty distracted at BlogHer. Just being honest, sorry.

No, no, it’s fine. I really do have ADD, and you must have caught me at one of my overwhelmed moments. BlogHer is like the ultimate collection of shiny objects, and sometimes it’s hard for me to keep my focus. Don’t take it personally, please. I’m a very good listener and love meeting new people – just because my eyes are wandering doesn’t mean I’m not still engaged. Hopefully you snapped me back to attention so you had my full focus.

And if I said I’d come back and didn’t, well…I screwed that up. I’m sorry, and I promise it wasn’t because I didn’t want to come back. (Looking at you, Annette. Luckily we kept running into each other!)

While we’re on the topic, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re a little odd. Odd in a fun way, but odd.

Yup. It’s taken me 36 years to accept this. You could say I’m geeky, or lacking in social graces. My older daughter has autism, so it seems to run in the family. I can put on a good show of being social, but it eventually gets to me and I start to break down.

If you saw me in the Kohler bathtub at BlogHer, it was because I was overwhelmed and discovered the VibrAcoustic tub music provided the perfect sensory block for me. Or maybe you saw me squeal in delight at receiving a copy of Goodnight Pond from Leila and wondered why a book about some doctor in a sci-fi TV show (Doctor Who) would elicit such a response.

So I can embrace the odd label. And let’s be honest, most bloggers are at least a little odd, right?

You seemed to have a knack for directions.

That’s my superpower. If you were one of the folks finding yourself lost at the conference or in NYC, I hope my directions helped you. If I’ve been somewhere once, I can usually remember it all and find my way back again. Or orient myself to know which direction we’re going. It’s like having a GPS built into your head. Even I get lost sometimes, but I find it fun and once I find my way I never get lost there again.

You can really knock back a drink, too.

Why yes, yes I can. Except tequila – that stuff is evil.

Hope that gives you a little more information about me beyond the often short connections made in person at the conference. If there’s anything else you want to know, aside from my bank account number (which you’d be disappointed in, anyway) drop me an email or leave a comment.

Filed Under: BlogHer12, me me me ·

Jul 4, 2012

Yet Another Guide For Newbies Attending BlogHer12

By Christina ·

Note: I wrote this post originally for BlogHer ’08, but didn’t see the sense in re-typing all of it again, since much of the advice holds true. Enjoy this recycled post with a few edits to make it more relevant to this year.
——–

Can you feel the tension and anxiety building in the blog world? Thousands of (mostly) female bloggers are less than a month away from traveling to New York City for BlogHer 12. The tweets about what do I wear? and will anyone talk to me? are already in full swing as some newcomers start to panic and wonder if they’ll be mocked if they don’t have an iPad with them or don’t say the right things.

Relax. Seriously…relax.

This will be my SEVENTH (!!!) BlogHer conference, so I’ll claim the right to call myself a bit of an expert on this topic. I’m ready to see old friends, meet new friends, and party until I drop. However, I was a member of the nervous newbie club once, too, so I know how some of you are feeling. Confession: I still get a little nervous each year. So allow yet one more person to give you a little advice on surviving your first BlogHer:

Hit the parties: There are a lot of parties planned this year. More parties than one person can possibly attend without being a Doctor Who companion, and most are open to anyone attending BlogHer. Go to the parties, especially the Thursday night parties! This is your first chance to mingle and socialize in a low-stress environment.

Even if you have a hard time making the first move to introduce yourself to another person, I promise that someone will ask you who you are and will want to get to know you.

Next thing you know, you’re surrounded by your blog gang. (BlogHer ’11)

Prepare for short attention spans: At the same time, expect most people at these parties to behave as if they have some kind of attention-deficit disorder. (Some of us actually do…ahem.) It’s only natural – for those who have been to BlogHer before, they’ll be bumping into lots of people they haven’t seen since last year. And others will suddenly turn and see one of their blog friends standing right in front of them for the first time.

So don’t be surprised if you’re talking with a group and someone disappears or squeals and runs away. It’s not you – she was probably overcome with happiness to see another friend. It’ll happen all night, and as one person disappears, others will appear to join in on the conversation. It may even be you doing the ADD-wander-off.

It’s easy to get distracted with all of this going on. (BlogHer ’11)

Expect happy surprises: Don’t be surprised if others come running to you, too. At my first BlogHer, I felt so lost when I was checking into the hotel. There were women everywhere – many were clustered in groups, and I was far too shy to approach one of these groups to find out if they were bloggers I knew. I remember walking past everyone, dragging my suitcase behind me, anxious and feeling like I wanted to hide in my room for the next three days, when I heard, “Is that Christina? Hey, woman!” It was Izzy, and she was the first shout out of many I got that night. I was also invited to dinner with Mayberry Mom that night, too, which further helped to calm my nerves.

Getting hug-tackled in a photo booth is pretty cool, too. (BlogHer ’10)

Hand out your card: If you don’t suffer from debilitating shyness, be sure to introduce yourself to as many people as possible. Have business cards if you can. They don’t have to be anything fancy: name, blog name, URL, Twitter name, and e-mail address are plenty. You might think you don’t matter enough to have a business card, but you’re wrong. That card will help people remember you, and will help them find your blog after we all leave New York. Without cards, I never would have remembered the blog names of everyone I met at BlogHer, many of whom I now read regularly.

Unless you’re Bob Harper. I don’t need a card to remember him. (BlogHer ’11)

Be unstructured: Once the conference begins, you’ll meet even more people at the sessions you attend. These sessions are wonderful, with lots of information for beginners as well as advanced bloggers. But you may occasionally find you need a break, or find a period of time that doesn’t have any sessions you want to attend. That’s totally OK. There’s no rule that you must attend every session – hanging out in the hallways chatting with others is often just as valuable or more valuable than the sessions themselves.

Poolside was a great hangout – just don’t get the laptops too close to the water. (BlogHer ’06)

Expect to be photographed: There are cameras everywhere. You’re probably bringing one, too. Remember that everything said or done at BlogHer is on the record, so be prepared to end up on Flickr or Instagram. This especially goes for those who like to drink, but can’t hold their liquor. (However, if you do want drunken antics to show up on the internet, drink away!)

Best seat at the CheeseburgHer party (BlogHer ’09)

Branch out: You’re going to find bloggers in your niche, but you’ll also encounter bloggers on nearly any topic. Take some time to get to know women outside of your niche, too. Surely you have interests beyond being a mom, right? Mom bloggers are lovely, but there are some awesome DIY bloggers, too. And pet bloggers. And fashion bloggers. And food bloggers. And shopping bloggers. If you can’t find someone who blogs about one of your secondary interests, maybe you need to start a new blog, eh?

Still waiting on that new foodie dessert blog, Cookie Monster. (BlogHer ’11)

Step out of your comfort zone: There will be a moment when you’re encouraged to do something a little… silly. Zany. Wacky. It could be in the Expo hall, it could be at a party, it could be in the elevator. Yes, this is a professional conference, but this is also a chance to have a good time. Trust me – take the chance and do at least one silly thing. You might come to appreciate a new talent for yourself. Or you may just laugh at the memories created.

Why yes, that is a stylish McDonald’s bag on my head! It’s all the fashion! (BlogHer ’10)

Remember to rest! This one is important. You’re going to be staying up late and getting up early each day. Some of you will be drinking a lot, too. Pace yourself, or you’ll collapse before it’s all over.

…or if you find yourself in a dance-off. (BlogHer ’10)

So what I’m trying to say is don’t stress out about coming to BlogHer, because you’re going to have a good time. It’s a crazy, chaotic few days, where you’ll meet new friends, rub elbows with blog “stars” and maybe even find that someone admires you, too.

Just a few of the women I admire. (BlogHer ’11 – photo by Rita Arens)

Dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable, and don’t worry so much about your hair and makeup. After all, it can’t be as bad as my hair disaster from ’06.

And if you need someone to give you that initial boost of confidence and support, come find me. I may be a little socially awkward and I really do have ADD, but I love meeting new people and I’m always available for a hug. At my first BlogHer several friends held my hand and made me feel comfortable, and I’m happy to return the favor for others.

You may not find all of this advice useful, but it’s what I’ve learned from the past six BlogHer conferences I’ve attended. Hope to see you all there this year!