BlogHer08 Archives - Page 2 of 2

Jul 6, 2008

First Year at BlogHer? Read on.

Can you feel the tension and anxiety building in the blog world? Nearly one thousand (mostly) female bloggers are a week and a half away from traveling to San Francisco for BlogHer 08. The posts about what do I wear? and will anyone talk to me? are already in full swing as some newcomers start to panic and wonder if they’ll be mocked if they don’t have a laptop with them or don’t say the right things.

Relax. Seriously…relax.

This will be my third year of BlogHer, and so far the part of the trip causing me the most anxiety is the flight. (Hate. flying.) I’m ready to see old friends, meet new friends, and party until I drop. However, I was a member of the nervous newbie club once, too, so I know how some of you are feeling. Allow yet one more person to give you a little advice on surviving your first BlogHer:

Hit the parties: There are a lot of parties planned the first night. I lost count somewhere after five. Some are invite-only, but most are open to anyone attending BlogHer. If you can, get to at least one of these parties! This is your first chance to mingle and socialize in a low-stress environment. Even if you have a hard time making the first move to introduce yourself to another person, I promise that someone will ask you who you are and will want to get to know you.

Prepare for short attention spans: At the same time, expect most people at these parties to behave as if they have some kind of attention-deficit disorder. It’s only natural – for those who have been to BlogHer before, they’ll be bumping into lots of people they haven’t seen since last year. And others will suddenly turn and see one of their blog friends standing right in front of them for the first time. So don’t be surprised if you’re talking with a group and someone disappears or squeals and run away. It’s not you – she was probably overcome with happiness to see another friend. It’ll happen all night, and as one person disappears, others will appear to join in on the conversation.

Expect happy surprises: Don’t be surprised if others come running to you, too. At my first BlogHer, I felt so lost when I was checking into the hotel. There were women everywhere – many were clustered in groups, and I was far too shy to approach one of these groups to find out if they were bloggers I read. I remember walking past everyone, dragging my suitcase behind me, anxious and feeling like I wanted to hide in my room for the next three days, when suddenly I heard, “Is that Christina? Hey, woman!” It was Izzy, and she was the first shout out of many I got that night. I was also invited to dinner with Mayberry Mom that night, too, which further helped to calm my nerves.

Hand out your card: If you don’t suffer from debilitating shyness, be sure to introduce yourself to as many people as possible. Have business cards if you can. They don’t have to be anything fancy: name, blog name, URL and e-mail address are plenty. You might think you don’t matter enough to have a business card, but you’re wrong. That card will help people remember you, and will help them find your blog afterwards. Without cards, I never would have remembered the blog names of everyone I met at BlogHer, many of whom I now read.

Be unstructured: Once the conference begins, you’ll meet even more people at the panels you attend. These panels are wonderful, with lots of information for beginners as well as advanced bloggers. But you may occasionally find you need a break, or find a session that doesn’t have any panels you want to attend. That’s totally OK. There’s no rule that you must attend every session – hanging out in the hallways chatting with others is sometimes just as valuable or more valuable than the sessions themselves.

Expect to be photographed: There are cameras everywhere. You’re probably bringing one, too. Remember that everything said or done at BlogHer is on the record, so be prepared to end up on Flickr. This especially goes for those who like to drink, but can’t hold their liquor. (However, if you do want drunken antics to show up on the internet, drink away!)

Branch out: You’re going to find bloggers in your niche, but you’ll also encounter bloggers on nearly any topic. Take some time to get to know bloggers outside of your niche, too. Surely you have interests beyond being a mom, right? Mommy bloggers are lovely, but there are some awesome craft bloggers, too. And pet bloggers. And life bloggers. And food bloggers. And shopping bloggers. If you can’t find someone who blogs about one of your secondary interests, maybe you need to start a new blog, eh?

So what I’m trying to say is don’t stress out about coming to BlogHer, because you’re going to have a good time. It’s a crazy, chaotic, and fun few days, where you’ll meet new friends, rub elbows with blog “stars” and maybe even find out that someone admires you.

Dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable, and don’t worry so much about your hair and makeup. After all, it can’t be as bad as my hair disaster from 06.

And if you need someone to give you that initial boost of confidence and support, come find me. I love meeting new people and I’m always available for a hug. At my first BlogHer several friends held my hand and made me feel comfortable, and I’m happy to return the favor for others.

Now tell me, who’s going to BlogHer?

Filed Under: BlogHer, BlogHer08 ·

Mar 6, 2008

Hot by Blogher – Time To Check-In

By Christina ·

It’s been a month since I threw down the gauntlet with myself and decided I was ready to make a change, which means an update is in order as to how my progress is, uh, progressing.

First, the easy, quantifiable update: I’ve lost four pounds. Not too shabby, I think. The “experts” say losing a pound a week is a healthy way to lose and keep off the weight, so I guess I’m doing the right thing.

When it comes to food, I’m eating at least one serving of vegetables a day now. That’s a 100% improvement over before. I’m also eating more fruit, whole grains, and trying to focus on smaller portions.

Best of all? I lost that four pounds while still eating everything I like, but not shoving as much of it down my gullet as before. It’s true – I’m still eating fast food, still munching on chips, and still enjoying chocolate. I thought I might have met my Waterloo when little girls in uniform courted me with these:

…however I’ve stood my ground against them, enjoying individual cookies without turning into a furry blue Cookie Monster and devouring an entire box in one sitting. (Mmmm, me love cookie!)

The difference is it’s all balanced out with healthier foods and everything is in moderation. (Not counting that massive chocolate cake I split with Laura last week.) And one day a week, I let myself have any foods I want, in any amount, without guilt.

You might be thinking at this point, That bitch, she’s one of those people who can eat whatever she wants and still lose weight. Nope, I swear, that’s not me. How do you think I ended up where I am now? Food and my thighs have always had a magnetic attraction for each other. And they still do, but it’s harder for only one cookie to gain a handhold on my thighs without reinforcements.

As for exercise, I’ll admit I’m slacking. My knees still hurt from my Bollywood experiment. (I’ll be back, though, Hemalayaa – mark my words.) Turns out Walk Away The Pounds really is more my speed for the moment. I’m taking the girls for walks on days when the weather isn’t quite so dreadful, using the stairs more in buildings instead of elevators, and parking further away at the grocery store. Baby steps, right?

Now that the basics have been established, it’s time for me to move on to the next part of this journey: working on my self-image. I must admit that I have no idea where to begin with this. I’ve always had a very negative view of my body, internalizing the hurtful words – practically emotional abuse – heaped on by certain people from my past.

I started dieting in junior high. In high school I thought I was a blimp and hated myself. But looking back through those pictures now, I can see how my body image was completely distorted. I may have been near the higher end of a healthy weight range, but I was not overweight.

1992 Homecoming: I’m smiling, but I’m thinking, “Suck in the tummy, suck in the tummy…”

I need to ask for help on this part, I think. Body issues seem to be something nearly every woman in North America can identify with on some level, so I’m hoping that you, my intelligent readers, might share an idea or two, telling me how you combat negative self-talk, or how you’ve entirely changed your way of thinking. Is there a book that helped you? Did you tape affirmations to the bathroom mirror? What works?

134 days left until BlogHer…

(PS – Also, check out Kristy’s BlogHer Good Health-a-Thon over at BlogHer for more inspiration. She has a great structured method to making changes for the better, if my laissez-faire method isn’t to your liking.)

Filed Under: BlogHer08 · Tagged: Hot by Blogher

Feb 13, 2008

Hot by Blogher: Let’s Talk Food

By Christina ·

I promised that my Hot by Blogher (button coming soon!) post would only be the first of many, and I’m making good on that.

Today, I’m thinking about food. Fooooooood…yummm. *drool*

Food and I have been BFFs for a long, long time. Possibly codependent lovers, even. When I find good food, it’s hard to stop eating. Food and I sometimes party long past the point when others would call it a night, and then the next morning I do my walk of shame past the fridge, regretting all that I ate as I avoid making eye contact with the pantry.

Have you ever heard someone casually say, “Oh, I forgot to eat today…” Yeah, well, those words have never escaped my lips. I’ve had moments where I’ve been extremely busy – forgetting meetings, dinners with friends, or forgetting my ID when going out – but never ever have I forgotten to eat.

That’s part of the reason I’m at this point today. My love affair with food has reached a toxic level, and in order to be healthier, I need to redefine that relationship.

Here’s my master plan to deal with food: less and more.

What do I mean by less and more? Well, I’ll start by less of this:

Emphasis on less chocolate…

and more of this:

Heaven in a box: chocolate yet only 100 calories.

Less of this:

Neon orange isn’t a food color found in nature.

and more of this:

Still processed, but at least it contains real veggies.

Less of this:

What do you mean ice cream isn’t a side dish?

and more of this:

I’m surprised by how much I love these.

Also more fruits and fresh foods, but I need to go to the grocery, so I don’t have any of those to show you at the moment.

Simple, no? OK, well, it’s a little more complicated than that. I will be making a conscious effort to include lower fat, less processed food in my diet. More veggies and fruit, less junk. And when I do eat junk, I’ll try for junk with less calories or a smaller portion size.

I’m trying to keep my calories down as well, but there is no exact number and no food is off-limits. I’m keeping a rough estimate of how many calories I’m eating each day, with a goal somewhere around 1600-1800. The other rule is that one day a week, I’m free to eat however I want, with no calorie counting at all. I did that on Saturday, and found that after eating well for several days, I couldn’t eat enough to do much damage.

This might sound really lax to many, but from past experience I know that setting strict rules for myself doesn’t work. If it works for you, great – post a list of rules on your fridge and use them to keep yourself accountable. But I’ve tried most of the diets out there – strict calorie counting, Weight Watchers points, no-carb, the soup diet, the food-of-the-week diet, etc. – and always ended up “cheating” at some point and giving up. It never works.

I’m not on a diet. I’m choosing to change my eating habits permanently, with weight loss being a desired side effect. If I want chocolate, I’m going to eat chocolate. I just won’t eat an entire box worth, and I’ll do a mental check to make sure I really want the chocolate (instead of really being bored, or unhappy, or some other non-craving feeling). Cravings are OK, but eating out of boredom is a bad habit I plan to break.

My greatest problem will be portion control, and I’ll be repeating my mantra often: You don’t have to eat it all today…it will still be there tomorrow. There’s no chance of bakeries everywhere running out of cake permanently in the next 24 hours. It’s unlikely that Little Debbie will go under by the end of the week. I will have the chance to eat it again.

So that’s the big plan. Less of the bad stuff, more of the good stuff, and permission to screw up now and then. As I get used to eating more of the good stuff, it should get easier to stick to the plan. I’ve already started the plan, and in one week I’ve lost two pounds. I have no specific weight I want to get to, but two pounds is a great start.

Lots more to come, of course. For those who are playing along, how are you going to change your eating habits?

(PS – Thank you to those who are cheering me on, and those who want to join in. The extra motivation from your support is awesome!)

Filed Under: BlogHer08 · Tagged: Hot by Blogher

Feb 7, 2008

A Turning Point

By Christina ·

Quick quiz: How many months pregnant was I in this picture?

4 months? 5 months? 6 months?

Nope, all wrong. The answer is: I’m 8 months postpartum.

(Did I just lose subscribers over that? I think I heard someone click that unsubscribe button. It’s OK, I understand. I’ll spare you from the belly shot without clothing. The stretch marks alone would scare the rest of you away.)

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before making a change. And right now? This is me, hitting hard on the cold stone floor. And damn it hurts.

I know I said I wasn’t making any New Year’s Resolutions, and I’m not. But it’s time to admit that I’m really not happy with myself. I don’t like being overweight, I don’t like all of the extra curves on top of my curves, and I’m really sick of being asked, “So when are you due?”

I don’t always look like the picture above. I’m amazingly adept at sucking in my stomach and holding it all. day. long. But eventually I have to breathe, or I forget for a moment, and suddenly I look pregnant again. Even Spanx can’t hide it all.

Beyond the physical, my mental health is also suffering. I had depression when pregnant with Cordy, and I worried about developing PPD after Mira was born. I think I was too busy trying to deal with two kids early on to let myself feel down. Now I can feel the darkness quietly creeping in again, and I think it’s partially motivated by my unhappiness with my physical appearance.

So it’s time for a change, and that change can begin by asking myself: what do I really want? I want to be healthy, in body, mind and spirit. I want to eat better, get more exercise, and lose weight. I want to feel good about my body instead of ashamed of it.

And to be completely honest?

I want to be hot by BlogHer ’08.

OK, it’s a little shallow, I’ll admit. But I’ve been to the BlogHer conference twice now, and both times I felt like the “big girl” hanging out with all of the pretty girls. There’s a lot of gorgeous women in the blogging world.

This past year, I had an 8 week old excuse:

Mira’s first BlogHer, sleeping through the party

But the year before, there was no excuse:

BlogHer ’06: The year of the pasties

I wasn’t always this big. In fact, just five years ago I felt pretty good about how I looked. Amazing how having two kids and letting yourself go a little can wreck your appearance.

Our honeymoon: Florida, 2003

BlogHer ’08 is my goal date. I want to be hot by BlogHer ’08. And by “hot” I don’t necessarily mean skinny. Skinny isn’t going to happen – my body isn’t built that way. Instead, I’m setting realistic goals:

– I want to be at a healthier weight. I have no set number I must reach – that will only depress me. Instead, I’d like to see myself in a smaller clothing size (no particular size, just smaller), and not look like my uterus is currently under lease for another few months.

– I want to eat more natural foods, and less fat and fried foods. Mira has officially weaned as of this week, so cutting back on calories isn’t a bad thing. I can’t eat like a breastfeeding woman anymore. More fruits, veggies, and water, and more emphasis on portion control. I’m not giving up the foods I love, but I will remind myself that there is no threat to the world’s chocolate supply, so I don’t need to eat it like it’ll all disappear tomorrow.

– I want to enjoy exercise again. There was a time I actually liked exercising (or liked it as much as a sane person can really like exercise). I was happy to see the changes it caused and marveled at what my body could do. But I need to find a form of exercise I like enough to do more than once.

– I want to be satisfied with what I see in the mirror. This is quite an undertaking, because it will involve mental as well as physical change. I need to start working with my body instead of against it, thinking of it only as a shell I wish I didn’t have to lug around with me.

– I want to be happier with my life, giving off waves of self-confidence and satisfaction. While times are tough for us in some ways, I have a lot of good things happening right now. It’s time to focus on what makes me happy and not on the things I’m unhappy about but can’t change.

Yes, I know there are far better reasons to want to be healthier: living longer, setting a good example for my daughters, and a lowered risk of heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. I want all of those, too, but it’s hard to get motivated by those long-term reasons.

But – hot by BlogHer? (I love that phrase. I swear I’m going to make a button for that.) That’s a goal in the near future I can work towards.

I’m ready. I’m motivated. I’m determined.

Can I do it?

I think I can.

(Anyone want to join me?)

Coming up soon: Specific plans, a full round of starting pictures, my past history with my weight, and detailing how I’m going to keep myself accountable by blogging.

UPDATE! We now have a button, thanks to the design mastery of Mother Bumper! Feel free to add it to your blog (but link back here so people know what you’re talking about, m’kay?).