being a mom Archives - Page 13 of 13

Aug 13, 2007

Bits & Pieces

Mamamichelesbabies tagged me to reveal eight random things about me. I think I did this one recently, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to ignore her tag. Instead, I’ll modify it slightly to share some of my thoughts and updates that simply aren’t long enough for an entire post.

1. Cordy had her transition from the county to city school district early intervention today. Not one, not two, but three women showed up at our door to discuss where we’re going next. That’s three people to clean the house for, so I was up early trying to de-clutter as much as possible. The school district representative had to do a preliminary screening as a formality before the evaluation on September 5.

2. Can you guess how she behaved during this screening today? Yeah, like a perfectly normal, practically angelic two year old. Figures. I was half expecting her to offer them something to drink while she put away all her toys and made her bed. Still, they are going forward with the evaluation based on past screenings and my description of some of her behaviors. After they left, she had a big meltdown over a banana.

3. The onesie has now undergone three laundry treatments, and the stain has yet to relinquish its hold on the white cotton garment (although I do chip away at it a little each time). I’m going for the last-chance treatment: the bleach pen. Pray I don’t bleach myself and anything nearby in the process.

4. As an only child, I have to say I don’t know how second-born children ever get any sleep with a crazy older sibling around. Seriously, Mira doesn’t get a single good nap when Cordy is home. She can be in a deep sleep, and Cordy will run screaming past her, or accidentally kick her ball into the bouncer, or have a tantrum loud enough to wake her upstairs in her crib. My sympathies to all of you who were second born or later. You need a nap.

5. According to another neighbor, our next door neighbors (yes…them) will only be there through the end of September at the latest. They’ve already filed for bankruptcy, the house is included, but there is a state loophole that lets them live in the house another 60 days if they put it up for sale. So efforts to sell the house are all so they can live 60 days longer with no housing bill. I doubt they’re even doing much to stage the house. That would explain why the average visit by a potential buyer has been around two minutes. I don’t think they make it past the threshold of the front door.

6. How have I become such a bad bill payer? I used to pay every bill well ahead of time before kids. After Cordy, I still got everything paid by the deadline. Now? Unless it’s a bill I pay online, I’m lucky to remember to send the bill in before we get a second notice. Sigh. Must work on that.

7. But speaking of bills and money, I’m glad I took the time to look through all the bills from Mira’s birth. Turns out the stupid insurance forced me to overpay my doctor’s office by $500. The doctor’s office never bothered to tell me about the mistake, even after they noticed it. I called the doctor’s office last week to tell them I had found out about the overpayment, and I’d like a refund. I’ll get it in about 3-4 weeks. Had I never checked it out and called, they would have happily kept that $500. Check your insurance payments and bills carefully, readers. It could save you a lot of money. That money will help cover the other hospital bills.

8. I just realized that Mira is 11 weeks old. Next week marks the end of my federally granted 12 weeks of maternity leave from work. More on that tomorrow.

Filed Under: being a mom, Cordy, meme time, Mira ·

Jun 12, 2007

Got Milk?

By Christina ·

When Cordy was born, I was determined to breastfeed. My daughter, however, wasn’t so interested in the idea. Our first two days in the hospital were filled with frustration, as I would try to get her to eat and she would resist. She would latch on at first, then realize she wasn’t getting much (it was still colostrum at that point), let go and scream. Repeat every half hour. Even the lactation consultant was no help.

Our third night in the hospital, the staff checked her blood sugar levels and told me her levels were low. Whether I wanted it or not, she was getting a bottle. The look on her little newborn face when offered the bottle was one of surprise and glee. After all, this was easy! The liquid just flowed into her mouth without any effort! It was at that point, I realized we had lost the battle, as my lazy child decided that the easy way was the way to go.

I continued to fight with breastfeeding for the next four months before giving up entirely. She would make a half-hearted attempt at breastfeeding, and then I would follow up with a bottle of formula or pumped milk afterwards. By the time I was back at work, she was mostly on formula.

With Mira, I hoped things would be different, and in many ways, they are. Thanks to the VBAC, she was able to breastfeed minutes after birth, and I was thrilled that she latched on like a pro. But when we got home, her appetite seemed to be endless, and I couldn’t keep up with her. We had to supplement, an act that gave me flashbacks of Cordy and her lazy eating. However, Mira doesn’t seem to care where it’s coming from, as long as there is food. She has no problem going back and forth between bottle and breast.

But I didn’t want to go down the formula route again. It’s expensive, it stinks, and it’s a pain to prepare. So after consulting with my doula and pediatrician (Mira isn’t gaining weight like she should, so the ped is involved now), I’m now trying to increase my milk supply to satisfy my bottomless pit.

What’s involved in this? Well, my pediatrician suggested beer to help with supply issues. I always thought that to be an old-wives tale, but she said she’s seen it work. OK, I can drink a beer. No problem.

Then there’s the herbal solution. An herb called Fenugreek can help increase supply. This is the herb used to flavor artificial maple syrup. Much like garlic, when you take large amounts of it, it has the not-so-pleasant side-effect of scenting your sweat and urine. Which means that my sweat now smells like maple syrup. And my breath smells like beer. All I need at this point is some cigarette smoke and you could have a truck stop IHOP sensory experience in my presence.

It seems to be working so far. I hope that my supply will catch up to her demand soon, because after dealing with a baby who wanted nothing to do with my breasts, it’s frustrating to see her so eager to breastfeed and worry I don’t have enough for her.

Filed Under: being a mom, Mira ·

Jun 8, 2007

Where Does My Time Go?

By Christina ·

Where my time went prior to Mira:

5-7 hours – sleep
2-3 hours – blogging (often combined with watching TV, below)
8 hours – working, or if not working, entertaining Cordy and running errands
1 hour – cleaning or paying bills
1/2 hour – shower, personal care
2 hours – driving
4 hours – watching TV (only 2 of those watching TV that isn’t for Cordy)
1 hour – eating

Where my time goes now:

4-5 hours – sleep (on a good day)
1-2 hours – blogging (on a good day)
1 hour – eating (on a good day)
1/2 hour – shower, personal care (shower every other day)
1-2 hours – playing with Cordy or just giving her attention
1-2 hours – watching TV (blogging or nursing during this time, too)
1-2 hours – doing the “stop fussing, baby” dance around the house while holding Mira
8 hours or more – chained to my chair breastfeeding (not counting the hours she feeds overnight while in bed with us)

You’ll notice very little time in there for things like, oh, housecleaning or bill paying. We’re doing the minimum needed to get by at this point.

It’s amazing how much time goes into a newborn. I used to think I was a busy person before we had Mira. Now I think I had the leisurely life and didn’t realize how easy it was. With one child, the parents are a true tag team: one can be on duty while the other is doing something else. Need a break? Tag the other parent into the ring.

Now we’re in a full two on two battle. The kids don’t take turns with their needs, meaning they often each need something at the same time. Each parent is generally keeping an eye on one child. If I shower, I take Cordy up to our bedroom with us, so she can play there while I shower, keeping the shower curtain open halfway to watch her.

Next week I’ll start learning how to deal with both at the same time on my own, when Aaron goes back to work part time. Hopefully I’ll be able to find a way to manage other than sitting in my chair nursing Mira and throwing Fruity Cheerios on the floor to appease Cordy while she watches Noggin.

This post is part of the Light Iris and Parent Bloggers Network Blog Blast. If you’d like to join in, simply write a post on the topic, “Where does my time go?” before midnight tonight, and e-mail Parent Bloggers to let them know. One blogger will be chosen at random to win a full 2-day conference pass to BlogHer ’07!

Filed Under: being a mom ·

Jun 2, 2007

More Thoughts On The Past Week

By Christina ·

I have no idea what day it is right now. I think someone told me it’s now June. Wow, that came faster than I thought.

We’re still in survival mode here, trying to get used to life with two children. Yesterday, Aaron took Cordy out for a few hours, leaving me only Mira to care for. I ate lunch, decluttered the living room a little bit, and fed Mira. As I sat there nursing her, I laughed to myself, thinking: I used to think this was hard? Taking care of one is a breeze!

Cordy is handling the new addition with the grace we expected – which is none at all. She’s doing her best to ignore the baby, and acting out in new and exciting ways, mostly directing her anger towards Aaron and I. She’s hitting, she’s screaming, she’s doing things she already knows aren’t allowed, and she’s physically hurting herself. Today, during a time out, she repeatedly bashed her head on a wall until she slightly bloodied her nose. Fun times, people. It makes my heart ache to see her hurting so much.

So far the post-partum hormone dump is only affecting me minimally, but I’m still waiting for the fallout. I had one sobbing fit on Monday night in the hospital, when Cordy came to visit for the first time. Aaron brought her in and said, “Look, there’s mommy!” She walked right up to me, looked at me, and then replied, “That’s not mommy!” Ouch. She eventually warmed up to me, but then when it was time for her to leave, I had to endure seeing her realize that I wasn’t coming with her, and see all hell break loose. Strapped in her stroller, with large tears streaming down her face, she cried out “No! Mommy! Mommy!” and tried to reach for me as Aaron took her out of the room. I could hear her screams all the way until they reached the elevators.

Physically, I’m still down and out. It isn’t as bad as a c-section recovery, but I wasn’t quite prepared for this. My nether-regions are unrecognizable, with the swelling, the stitches from the giant tear, and the hemorrhoids. Pooping is an ordeal that requires mental preparation. And I’ve already warned Aaron that sex is unlikely for a long, long time. Are there any good remedies for healing my girl parts? While I love the Dermoplast numbing spray the hospital gave me, it only masks the pain, and the Tucks pads aren’t that helpful. Things will go back to normal down there, right?

Mira is so far very different from Cordy. From the beginning, Cordy seemed to be angry at the world for being pulled out of her warm home in my uterus. She wanted nothing to do with nursing, and spent a lot of time crying. Mira took to breastfeeding like a pro from the very beginning, and so far (knock on wood, or well, wood laminate for me) she’s generally not too fussy. We had some issues the first two nights at home, when she would only sleep up against me in bed, but last night she slept in a sleep positioner and managed a 4 hour stretch. She also went out with us for the first time today, and slept for most of the trip. I keep hoping that she will be different from Cordy entirely, and we might just skip that whole colic phase.

Having Aaron home for two weeks full time, and then four weeks part time makes me want to send flowers to the State of Ohio as thanks for their parental leave policy. With Cordy, Aaron only had a couple of days off, but now he’s here for two full weeks to help make that adjustment. I honestly don’t know how I would manage without him right now.

So, we’re doing our best to find normal in our lives again. At the moment everything feels so overwhelming, but I know that eventually we’ll fall into a routine and I won’t feel so out of control. Until then, I have to struggle to find ways to make room for two needy little girls on my lap.

Filed Under: being a mom, Cordy, daily life, Mira ·

May 12, 2007

I Still Don’t Have A New Shirt

By Christina ·

Last week, I spent a little time to go out shopping for myself. Knowing I’ll be able to ditch the maternity clothes soon, I wanted to grab a few new summer t-shirts. I do have several older t-shirts in my closet, but many have been stained thanks to the serious efforts of a toddler I know to drop things on me and use me as her personal napkin and tissue. I figured I deserved a little something new for myself.

I walked into Old Navy, started to look through the summer specials on the tables in the middle of the store, examining all of the new summer colors and thinking about what I could pair different shirts with. But then I absentmindedly wandered away and soon found myself in the section of the store that doesn’t fit anyone larger than 4T. I browsed the sale racks, looked at the new tank tops, and oohed over the cute summer dresses.

Twenty minutes later, I left the store with two t-shirts and a tank top – all sized 4T. Oh, and just to make sure I didn’t forget anyone, I also bought a sleeper for the new baby, too.

What happened to my plans to buy new clothes for myself? I wish I could claim this was an isolated incident, but this is often how it happens. I have every intention of splurging on myself, but then my “mommy brain” takes over and suddenly my wants are in the back of my mind, and replacing them are the needs for my child.

A few weeks ago, I sorted Cordy’s clothing and found that my Amazon child had outgrown 99% of her clothing from last year. That left her nothing for this summer, requiring an entire new wardrobe. I bought her a few things at a local used clothing store, but it still wasn’t much. I didn’t even have an entire week’s worth of outfits for her.

So naturally, when I walked into Old Navy last week, that little subconscious part of my brain directed my feet back to the children’s clothing section of the store, and I left with nothing for myself and more summer clothing for Cordy. Eh, I guess new clothes for me can wait. I’m not the one changing sizes every season.

This ability to place my child’s needs above my own is only one part of what makes me a mother. And thinking about this topic reminds me so much of my own mother. My parents divorced when I was a baby, and we had very little when I was growing up. Yet my mom always made sure I had new clothes for school, and even occasionally let me buy brand name clothing that cost way too much. One year, she even bought me one pair of Guess jeans – I was in heaven.

However, as a self-absorbed teen, it didn’t occur to me that my mom never had new clothing. It wasn’t until college, when she showed up for my honor society induction in a dress I wore to a dinner my freshman year of high school that I realized that I could recognize every outfit she ever wore. All of her clothing consisted of gifts, really old and well-worn jeans, or clothing that I had cast off in favor of clothing that was more “cool”. She never bought herself new clothing, because she felt she needed to provide for me first.

And now I see that the same instinct is alive and well in me. It’s not just my love of cute clothing for toddlers that keeps me from buying more for myself – it’s all part of being a mom.

Parent Bloggers and Light Iris are having a Blog Blast asking everyone, “What is it that makes YOU a mom?” They’re giving away a $100 Spa Finder gift certificate to one lucky writer who addresses this question in a blog post. If you want to enter, you’ve got until midnight tonight.

Edit: This post was one of the winners in TheGoodBlogs Mother’s Day contest – yay!
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