You are here: Home / Archives for Christina
Jan 14, 2011

Giving In

By ·

When it comes to school lunches, we prefer to pack for our daughters. I’ve seen Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution, I know how nutritionally deficient most school lunches are. French fries and ketchup count as vegetables – don’t even get me started on ketchup packets where tomatoes aren’t the first ingredient. Everything is breaded and fried and/or processed and prepackaged. The school menu looks like one processed food item after another, filled with artificial ingredients, fat and sodium.

Packing lunch has never been hard for Cordy. She’s a creature of habit who generally avoids new foods. And so every day she is thrilled to eat her PB&J, goldfish crackers and Annie’s fruit snacks. She even turns her nose up at chocolate milk because it’s different. (And we’re not about to try to push her on that, either.) She comes home each day with an empty lunchbox and usually a little peanut butter still on her mouth.

Mira is another story. At the beginning of the school year, she was thrilled to have a packed lunch like Cordy. She carried her lunch bag with pride, pointing out her name written in Sharpie on the top. But then she arrived at school and saw what the other kids were eating. And she saw the chocolate milk. She begged for chocolate milk – after all, chocolate ice cream was great, so chocolate milk must be awesome, right?

Even though she didn’t pay for a lunch, her teachers started giving her small cups of the chocolate milk because they always had extras. We frowned on it, but didn’t outright forbid it, and quickly learned that her teachers – like so many others – aren’t immune to her charms. So she started drinking chocolate milk with lunch.

But then I noticed she’d come home from preschool and some of her lunch was still in the bag. Sometimes she’d walk in the door and immediately tell me she wanted to eat her goldfish crackers, so I figured she was simply saving them for an afternoon snack. Occasionally I’d see notes from the teacher that she ate some of the school lunch, too, and they didn’t mind because they always have extras. Okaaaaaay then.

Over the past few weeks, though, Mira has come home with most of her lunch still tucked safely in her lunch bag. It’s frustrating to have to throw away an entire PB&J sandwich, and Aaron (who makes the lunches in the morning because I’m at work) was getting increasingly angry with her. He decided to try a different approach, thinking that maybe Mira wants more variety in her lunch. He began asking her each morning what she wanted for lunch, and then packing her requests. We hoped this would solve the problem.

However, earlier this week she brought home a salami and cheese sandwich, untouched, along with her other lunch items. Despite asking for it that morning, she decided not to eat it and ate the school food again instead. Throwing another wasted sandwich in the trash, Aaron declared that he was done making lunches for her. I agreed.

I’m a little surprised at how easily I agreed to let her eat the school lunch. But I can’t stand to see the food that we pay so much money for wasted every day. It still makes me cringe to think of some of the foods she’s eating. The little comfort I have is that, unlike Cordy, Mira appears to have no food sensitivities to artificial ingredients, so at least the junk food doesn’t affect her behavior.

She’s a stubborn three year old and she’s found how to get her way on this issue. (Please don’t think she gets her way with everything, though. Her pout and fluttering eyelashes have only limited power on Aaron and I.) She manipulated her teachers into letting her eat the school food even though she had a perfectly good and delicious lunch in her bag each day. And she pushed us to the point where we have given up and stopped packing her lunch.

She won. Or at least she won one battle. She’s already upset that she can’t take her Thomas the Tank Engine lunch bag to school anymore, and I’m not giving in on that. There’s no point in taking an empty lunch bag to school.

Sigh. I can already tell Mira is going to be a challenge as she gets older. I only hope I can convince her to use her master powers of manipulation for good, not evil.

 T.R.O.U.B.L.E.
Filed Under: healthy living, Mira, school ·


Jan 6, 2011

Resolutions Are For Quitters

By ·

Well, look at that. It’s 2011. And I totally missed out on the whole end-of-the-year wrap up and making resolutions for the new year. Good thing I didn’t resolve to be more timely with my posts, or I’d already be a failure.

Actually, I think it’s for the best if I don’t make any resolutions this year. After all, most resolutions end up forgotten or quietly swept under the rug before the after-Valentine’s Day chocolates clearance at Target, so why would I set myself up to be reminded that my life is too complicated and busy for lines drawn in the sand and declarations etched in stone?

That doesn’t mean I have no plans for this new year, though. Oh no, I’ve got a lot riding on this year, and I expect great things before Santa returns in 2011.

Last year I took the progress I had made towards a healthier me in 2009 forward to lose another 12 pounds and completely run my first 5K. This year is going to see that snowball keep a-rollin’ down that hill. I’d like to lose another 20 pounds and run more 5Ks, but honestly as long as the scale is at least a little lower by the end of the year and I’ve participated in at least 1 or 2 runs, I’ll still be happy.

In 2010 I changed jobs when it was clear my unit was soon to be eliminated, and I like my current position. I never imagined myself here, but now that I’m living it, I’m content to stay. This year I hope the company will agree with my desire to stay and upgrade me from a contractor to a permanent employee, with all of the benefits that go with that. *cough*healthinsurance*cough* We’re hoping 2011 will also be the year Aaron finds more permanent employment as well.

I completely failed at my resolution for work-life balance last year. It wasn’t going too bad until a work crisis erupted in early fall and I found myself working massive overtime (along with everyone else) to keep up with the crush of work. It was heartbreaking to go days without seeing my children for more than 30 minutes each day. And when I did see them, it was often over the top of my laptop screen. I should have put down the computer more, stopped checking work e-mail from home, and enjoyed more play time.

As I look around me and see others with their new babies, I’m reminded just how fast the time goes. I’ll admit I don’t want my children to grow up so quickly. I don’t know how Mira transformed from a toddler into a funny, potty-trained, opinionated preschooler. I can’t keep thinking that they’ll wait until I have time for them, because when that time comes I’m going to find they’ve continued to grow up – without my permission – and I didn’t notice. My girls are here with me now, at this moment in time, and I need to appreciate them for who they are in this moment.

2008 remains one of the worst years of my life. 2009 was somewhat of an improvement, and 2010 was better than 2009. If that upward trend can continue, then 2011 is looking mighty promising for me. Hopefully it’ll be promising for all of us.

So yeah, a lot of hopes and plans for 2011, but no firm resolutions. Less stuff. More love. Less stress and worry. More family experiences. Less me. More us. Learn more. Do more. Be healthier. Be more interesting. Be happier.

Live whole.

Filed Under: me me me, memories ·


Dec 27, 2010

Christmas Gift Hall of Shame

By ·

On Christmas night, after everyone was gone, the wrapping paper bagged up, and the kids put to bed, I (of course) went to Twitter to see how everyone else spent the day. I found myself quickly reading through a hilarious list of worst gifts of the year. Some were embarrassing, some were funny, some were just plain odd.

And then I realized I had nothing to contribute.

We had a really good Christmas this year. We saw a lot of family, had a great meal, gave some fun gifts to everyone, and received some really nice gifts in return.

Quick tangent: Cordy even handled the day better than she ever has. When the room got too loud, I noticed her slowly pushing herself deeper into the sofa cushions, as if she was trying to disappear entirely. A few family members drew attention to her, and she closed her eyes to block it all out as I reminded them that this was her way of coping with the sensory overload, and it was best to not engage her at that time.

Soon she had had enough and quietly slipped upstairs to her room. When I went up to check on her, she told me that she went to her room because she needed some quiet time. Wow…I’ll gladly accept that response to being overloaded rather than her previous response of having a massive meltdown. And after a little while, she came downstairs again, ready to join in and play with her toys some more.

OK, back to the story: Both Cordy and Mira had several fun toys and books to choose from, and Aaron and I received gift cards to several of our favorite places. There was no gift Hall of Shame, no WTF gift of 2010. I found myself a little sad about that fact.

In the past, we could always count on my Great Aunt Dot to provide some weird, off-the-wall gift that she purchased on the 90% off rack at Macy’s for Christmas. Sometimes it was a tin of stale, outdated cashews, or a bunny that said “Happy Easter” when you pressed it’s ear. Sometimes it was a bag of toilet paper with one roll missing from the pack or some gaudy piece of costume jewelry with the price tag still clearly attached, red lines showing the markdowns. Sometimes it was a map of Millersburg, Ohio with no explanation.

As a kid I hated opening all the weird stuff from her. I didn’t even like her all that much – she was mean and liked to tease me. Later I learned to laugh it off and remember it’s the thought that counts, and as an adult I understood that the teasing and the gruff exterior were how she dealt with a lifetime of disappointment. She died just over two years ago, and since then Christmas gifts have never been the same at our house.

So this year I once again pulled out one of her last gifts for Cordy and played it for everyone just before we sat down to eat. (Thankfully, Cordy isn’t scared of it anymore.)

Aunt Dot’s Gift from Christina M on Vimeo.

A family friend who joined us this year looked at it and said, “Shouldn’t you take the price tag off that?”

“Of course not,” we replied, “That’s just how Aunt Dot gave it!”

We may no longer have her with us, but when we see that deer (moose?) in a bathrobe singing “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” while it rocks in the chair, it’s like Aunt Dot is still celebrating with us in spirit.

Filed Under: Cordy, holidays, memories · Tagged:


Dec 23, 2010

A Fair and Balanced Christmas

By ·

I thought I had most of the Christmas shopping done long before today. But then when I paused for a moment to do a quick recap of the gifts I have for my two cherubs to unwrap on Christmas morning, I realized I had made a grave error.

Mira has over twice as many gifts as Cordy.

It’s not like I intentionally tried to stiff my older child. Mira is just far easier to shop for, thanks to being very outspoken about what she likes. I know that if I find anything involving Thomas the Train, polar bears, or the color pink, she will squeal with joy and proclaim it the Best Gift Ever.

(Until she opens the next item that fits one or more of those categories, where she will yet again declare it the Best Gift Ever. She never leaves a gift giver disappointed by her reaction.)

Cordy, on the other hand, is a little more difficult. She wants a blue bunny. And maybe a superhero sticker book. Her requests are very specific, and not always items that can be obtained. Guess wrong when presenting her with a gift and you’ll be met with the silence of indifference as she sets it aside and never glances at it again.

So it was an honest oversight that I picked up significantly more gifts for Mira than Cordy. Which means I get to join the crowds today to find at least one more gift for Cordy.

Sure, I could hold back a few items for Mira, but if I did that it would be holding back all of the toys/games, because the polar bear clothing can’t wait until her birthday in May, when it will no longer be winter and she’ll likely be near the end of this clothing size. And even though I know she’ll love the clothing, I can’t make her open only clothing from Santa.

Thankfully, both of my girls don’t have expensive tastes, so I’ll only need to find a good book or an interesting small toy to make up the difference. Sometimes the least expensive item is often Cordy’s favorite. But they’re both old enough now to notice if one has significantly more presents than the other, so I have to at least make sure the gift load is balanced.

My mom was lucky – she never had to deal with the issue of gift equalization. I was an only child, making Christmas an easy task for her – if Santa brought me only one gift, I had no one else to compare it with. But possibly because I grew up as an only child, it’s also not a topic in the front of my mind when buying gifts for my children.

(For the record – I’m not saying I wish I had only one child. They just don’t cover this in the hospital when you give birth to your second child.)

I suppose this will be good training for the years to come, because while they will only notice the number of packages at the moment, I’m sure in the future I’ll have to dodge the “You spent more on her than me!” teenager whine.

And that will be the day I give them equal gift cards and let them pick out what they want.

Filed Under: being a mom, Cordy, family time, holidays, Mira, sisterhood ·


Dec 17, 2010

Dear Santa

By ·

Hi Santa. I know you get a lot of requests this time of year, and many of them come from those far more in need than me. While my own two children are busy thinking up all of the toys and books they want you to bring them, I thought I might go ahead and put in a few requests of my own.

Santa, for Christmas this year I’d like the gift of time. As a busy mom of two who also works full-time, this seems to be the one thing I’m lacking the most in my life. I want more time to give my daughters the attention they so desperately need, and time to give my husband the attention he deserves. Too often I look back on a day and wonder why I didn’t get a single moment to focus all of my attention on each family member individually. It wouldn’t have to be a lot of time – just enough so that each of them knows how much they mean to me.

With more time I could also once again find joy in hobbies I’ve left behind, take better care of myself, and visit with friends I so rarely see. I’d use some of that time towards my work, too, thinking up new ways to make my job more efficient and more valuable.

I could even write more.

The next thing on my wish-list would be patience. You see, I’ve been good this year, Santa, but I’ll admit I’m far from perfect. Not having enough time has resulted in more stress, which too often manifests in a lack of patience towards everyone around me. I don’t want my daughters to have another year remembering their mother as that woman who looks over her laptop monitor at them and continues to work as they talk to her, or answers every question with, “Can you just wait a minute? Mommy’s busy,” or who won’t wait for them to do things that kids naturally take more time doing, like getting dressed or eating. I want to yell less and say “yes” more, allowing myself to move at their pace instead of my own hurried pace.

And Santa, if I can squeeze in one more gift I’d like for Christmas, it would be a two-fer gift. You know I hate feeling insecure – a need for security has been such a strong influence in my life – so I’d love to feel more financially secure in the next year. A permanent position with my job, health insurance, a permanent job for Aaron – that would be an awesome gift. But to go with that gift, I’d hope to receive a hefty dose of gratitude as well, so that I may appreciate what I’ve been given and be presented with opportunities to use those gifts to help others as well.

I know moms probably aren’t on the top of your list, Santa, but I hope you’ll consider my requests. If you can’t find such rare gifts, I’ll understand – after all, I do have a lot of good things in my life right now that are gifts I get to experience everyday. These wishes, however, would be totally better than any pony I might have wished for in years past. (Ahem…or every year from 5-10 years old.)

Thanks for your time, Santa. We’ll leave cookies and milk out for you as always.

Love,
Christina

PS – Just to be clear, Santa, I’d never turn down gift cards or a spa treatment, too, in case you were wondering.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Filed Under: holidays, me me me ·