In the Details

OK, so it’s obvious that my plateau has me feeling a little down lately. More than a little down, really. I step on the scale and curse the number. I look in the mirror and wonder why my stomach isn’t flatter, why my hips are still so large, and why I still have the lumpy saddlebags hanging off the sides of my legs.

I know the self-hate does me no good. It provides no motivation. It zaps my energy. It only tears me down when I should be working towards building my self-esteem up.

So I take a deep breath. And then I look a little closer in the mirror.

My upper arms have definition when I flex them now. I can see the smooth contour of my bicep forming a small hill along my upper arm. And even with the floppy skin underneath, it’s obvious that my arms are smaller than they once were.

I need to have my wedding ring re-sized because it’s now loose enough that I worry about it slipping off when I’m not noticing.

My face looks thinner compared to the photo on my work ID badge. That photo was taken a year ago.

I’m wearing one size smaller in my favorite Lee jeans. My old “tight” jeans have become my “loose” jeans. XL shirts now look ridiculous on me.

I no longer have those bulges above or right below my bra strap. (You know, that icky back fat.)

I can go up a few flights of stairs without getting winded.

There are so many positive changes happening in me. Sometimes I need to remember to look beyond the total image and instead focus on the small details.

And if I still need something more dramatic, there’s always this:

Yep. Definite progress right there.



Mother’s Day Presents

Scene: In the car the other day.

Cordy: Mama, it will be Mother’s Day soon. What kind of present do you want?

Me: I don’t know. What do you think I’d like?

Mira: Mommy, you like flowers!

Me: Well, yeah, flowers are OK I guess.

Cordy: No, Mira! Mommy likes chocolates more! You want chocolates for Mother’s Day, right?

Me: Ummm…I am trying to diet…

Mira: Flowers! Mommy wants flowers!

Cordy: Chocolates!

Mira: Flooooowers!

Cordy: Chooooocolates!

Me: What about sleep? I’d like that for Mother’s Day.

Mira: Mommy, that’s not a present!

Me: Oh, you’d be surprised what mommies would consider presents…

Later…

Cordy: Mama, I know what your present will be! Us! We’re your presents, mommy!

Me: Well, yes, but actually, you’re the reason I get presents on Mother’s Day.

Cordy: (panic in her voice) But we can’t get you anything because the Toys R Us doesn’t have anything you like!

Me: Um…well, I guess that’s true…

Cordy: So if you don’t like anything from the Toys R Us, we won’t have anything to give you! Can’t you like a toy that we like, and then we can get you that?

Me: I think you’re missing the point now…

After that conversation, I’m a little scared to think what will be waiting for me on Mother’s Day. It’ll either be nothing, flowers, chocolates, or a new Thomas & Friends train set with some easy reader Backyardigans books.

Note to self: teach my children what “spa” means and why mommies like it.

And I still argue that sleep can be a present.



Do You Trust Your Mechanic? Are Your REALLY Sure?

(I don’t like to do this, but I’m totally calling out a company for bad service. Actually, make that dangerous service.)

We are a family of two cars – one small sedan and one SUV. The rule is that we run them until they die, and then we replace the dead one with another similar in style. That means we usually only have one car payment to worry about, although we are often playing the game of “When will this car decide it’s done?” as we squeeze the last drops of life from it.

Our current sedan is the very first new car I ever purchased on my own. It’s a 2000 model and currently has 189,000 miles on it. Yes, I’ve tried to take good care of it to get it to this point. The dealer is fairly far from our house, so for the last year or two we’ve been taking both cars to NTB (National Tire & Battery, a division of Tire Kingdom) for minor services because it’s just down the road.

A few months ago, I had taken the sedan to NTB for service, and while there they told me the brakes would need to be replaced soon. I asked if it needed to be done that day, and they told me it could wait a little longer. Having no money to get it done at that time, I was glad to hear we could wait a little longer.

Fast forward to mid-week last week. The sedan had started making a grinding sound when braking (aka: we may have waited a little too long), so we took it back to NTB and asked them to replace the brakes and rotors. They took the keys and told us it would be done by the end of the day.

When Aaron came back to get the car, they told him that they didn’t change the brakes because the brakes were fine. We were completely puzzled by this – didn’t they tell us last time they needed replaced? And if they were fine, what was that grinding sound? The mechanic told Aaron that the pads were fine and the brakes just had a rust ring on them that was causing the grinding noise. He advised us to “ride the brakes hard” to help clear off the rust and said nothing more needed done at this time. We trusted this assessment and left, happy to save some money.

But the story doesn’t end there. That grinding sound? It only got worse. In fact, braking seemed to get harder – I felt like I had to shove my foot through the floor to brake. I couldn’t be reassured by the diagnosis that our brakes were fine. I’ve been with this car for most of its 189,000 miles – I know when something feels wrong.

Being the constant worrier, I asked Aaron to take it to a different mechanic for a second opinion. On Sunday he took it to a different local shop, asking them to check our brakes. At that point an entirely different story about our brakes was relayed to us. The brake pads still had thickness on the outside, but the inside of each pad was shot. We could see the rotors were damaged, and the calipers needed replaced as well. We were lucky that we hadn’t suffered a complete brake failure before bringing it to them.

So one day and $640 later, my little sedan was fitted with a new brake system that doesn’t make a peep (or grind) and kicks in with the smallest amount of pressure on the pedal. And at 189,000 miles, it runs like it’s barely at 100,00 miles. I didn’t like spending all the money on it, but I’m so thankful to the second mechanic (Firestone, if you’d like to know) for taking the time to properly inspect the brakes and show us exactly what the problem was.

I can’t say for certain if NTB carelessly neglected to do a full inspection of the brakes and instead only took a quick glance at the outside of them, or if they lied to us because they were busy that day. Either way, I’m horrified that such neglect for safety was displayed by NTB. We trusted them to keep our car maintained so that it was safe to drive, and they let us down in a dangerous way.

What would have happened had we continued to listen to their advice? Would we have continued being hard on the brakes, trying to wear off that rust, until one day we press the pedal and get no response as we slam into whatever is in front of us due to brake failure? What if our daughters had been in the car with us? We could have been hurt, could have hurt others, could have been killed…

There are certain occupations that we must place our trust in for our safety. We trust our police to keep our neighborhoods safe. We trust our doctors to make the right diagnosis to keep us healthy. We trust cooks to prepare and handle food safely to keep us from getting sick. We trust engineers and architects to design safe structures for us to dwell in and travel on.

As a nurse, were I to give the wrong medication to a patient that risked a life-threatening reaction, you can bet I’d have to deal with some serious consequences. I could lose my job or even my license. I could also be sued if I caused harm to that patient. But I know how important my job is, and in that case I’d check and double check to make sure I had the correct medication for the correct patient, because that person’s safety is in my hands.

Mechanics are part of that trusted group as well. If our vehicles aren’t given proper safety inspections, our lives are at risk. We trust those mechanics to properly service our cars and tell us when something is a safety risk.

NTB destroyed our trust last week and I’m still very upset at the risk they exposed my family to through their neglect. Small mistakes are forgiveable, but life-threatening mistakes cannot be brushed aside.

I’ll be blunt: we will never use them again, and I caution others to think twice before you put your car and your safety into their hands. Just because it’s close by and convenient doesn’t mean it’s safe.



Anglophile

Yes, I’m watching the royal wedding this morning. Well, I’ll be recording it this morning, since work and taking Mira to preschool will be cutting into my royal TV time.

I know some people can’t wait for the wedding to be over with, but I’m giddy with excitement. Truth is, when storks were dropping off babies in the 70’s, my stork clearly read the address wrong and brought me to Ohio when I should have been delivered to some family in the British Isles.

I’ve been an anglophile for many, many years, appreciating nearly everything about the British people, culture and government. I spent a summer in London in college, and during my time there I felt more “at-home” with my surroundings than I ever have in my life. I considered skipping my flight home to pursue citizenship, but came to my senses when I realized I had no money and still no college degree yet. I left that country vowing to return again someday.

When Diana Spencer walked down the aisle to become Princess Diana? I watched it. I was proud that her first-born son, William, was born on my birthday. (Although a few years later than me.) During my time in England, I lived in a dorm in Kensington and remember playing soccer on the green just outside of Diana’s primary residence, Kensington Palace.

Many years later, when Diana was in the car accident that took her life, I watched the story unfold on CNN. I wished and prayed that she would survive, and then sobbed when they announced that she had died. I watched her funeral from start to finish, stunned that this stunningly beautiful humanitarian – a woman who used her power and influence to bring notice to those who suffered and needed help – would be taken from us so young.

And now her son is marrying his college sweetheart, and I couldn’t be happier for them. The royal family may seem like an out-of-place establishment in the modern world, but I think it still has relevance. They provide a living connection to the history and very nature of their culture. And as I’ve often joked, a monarch that is groomed from the beginning for their role in the government (even if it is a very minor role now) provides stability and continuity that I often feel is lacking in our constantly rotating parade of politicians in the United States. Prime Ministers may come and go, but they have the benefit of seeking advice from the one person who has seen the government through many changes and is well-educated on the topic.

(I don’t want to get into an argument over which government system is better or calling for a return to the feudal monarchy system – I’m just pointing out that there are some advantages to a constitutional monarchy.)

Anyway, I’m looking forward to the wedding. I can’t wait to see demonstrations of the history, ceremony and style of the British people, but even more, it’s about the pleasure of seeing the genuine happiness of two people who love each other very much making the ultimate commitment to each other.
And to get in the spirit, Mira is already practicing her royal stiff upper-lip while wearing her tiara. She’s available for any discussions of betrothal contracts with princes who like trains and can promise her lots of dresses and a pink castle.

Formal portrait of HRH Miranda of Ohio


Is The Night Shift Keeping Me Fat?

Overall I’ve been pleased with the progress I’ve made in losing weight and improving my health. But this recent plateau has forced me to look at every aspect of what I’m doing and figure out what’s holding me back.

I’m working out and pushing myself hard each week with a combination of cardio and strength training. I’m tracking my calories and remaining under my allotment each week. I’m trying to eat more vegetables, more protein, drink more water, and take my vitamins.

My sleep? Well, that’s not so great. I work an overnight shift, so when most people are happily asleep in their beds, I’m hard at work at my desk. In exchange, I sleep during the day, although that sleep is never as restful as it is at night, even with room darkening curtains. Obligations always pop up, too – always during my sleep time, of course, since the rest of the world is on a day schedule.

At night, there’s no cafeteria open to serve fresh food. Pizza is available for delivery early on, and there is one 24-hour McDonald’s. Our food is whatever we bring in to eat, which often consists of snack foods and frozen meals. My frozen meals are often low-cal choices, but when I’m tired, snacking helps wake me up.

I know there are plenty of studies linking night shift work to poor health conditions. We’re more likely to be sleep deprived, have a higher risk of heart attacks, have weaker immune systems to fight off illness, and more likely to be overweight. Just the hours of my work make it harder for me to lose weight.

Is my unusual schedule playing some part in my plateau? Possibly. But this is one factor I can’t change. While working third shift isn’t ideal, I really like my job so I have no plans to give it up.

So if I can’t change it, I’ll have to find some way to counter this disadvantage. Finding new ways to get more sleep would be nice, as well as making better choices at which snacks I choose to indulge in at work. Maybe I can even go for a walk around the building on my lunch break to squeeze in a little more exercise?

Working night shift may make it harder for me to reach my goals, but it doesn’t have to stop it entirely.

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