Christina, Author at A Mommy Story

Jun 13, 2011

The World is Upside Down

Ya know, sometimes you do everything right and get nothing for your hard work. And then sometimes you let things slide and find yourself rewarded for slacking off.

Consider last week one of the latter situations.

Despite trying to see the positive side of a plateau, I was still feeling irritated about being unable to make the scale move. That irritation translated into sloppy habits: grabbing not one but two cookies at work, eating fast food more often than I should, and choosing to not log my calories for a couple of days because it was just too tiring to think about.

I did go to my bootcamp class on Tuesday night, where I was completely whipped by my trainer. Not sure if that night’s routine was harder or if my lazy self was getting weaker, but I really struggled through it.

And then, on Saturday morning I stepped on the scale, fully ready to take the beating I deserved for a week of indulgence.

The number displayed was 166.8.

Not only did I finally break the 169 plateau, but I slid down over two pounds. I’m officially at my lowest adult weight ever.

I felt good, too. Looking in the mirror, I could see the two images of myself switching back and forth – still seeing the “fat me” that my poor, troubled brain perceives, but also seeing the muscle definition, the smaller waist and hips, and the healthier version that the mirror is really reflecting. I’m becoming healthy. I’m witnessing my risks for several diseases drop with each inch that disappears from my waist.

(And then I celebrated by eating too much that night and having cake for my husband’s birthday the next day. Eh, you win some, you lose some. No way I’m stepping on the scale again until I’ve had some time to detox from food overload. I seriously doubt I could get that lucky with the scale ever again.)

Filed Under: success, weigh-in · Tagged: off-track, plateau, the numbers game

Jun 8, 2011

School’s Out For Summer! Everyone Panic!

By Christina ·

The school year was officially over last week, leaving me to explain the concept of summer break to Cordy and Mira. Neither of them really understands why they have to take three months off of school – I assured them that someday they might be more in favor of the idea, and that if I had it my way they’d be in school year-round.

In the meantime, summer camp is often the solution to the “what do I do with these kids when I still have to work?” problem, and both will be attending a day camp for most of the summer. This year we decided to be smart and send them both to the same summer camp, saving us from having to drive all over half of Columbus to take them each to camp every day.

Cordy and Mira will be in different age groups, and will likely not see much of each other during the day. This is a blessing for their teachers – no one wants to listen to those two bicker and tease each other all day. I have no doubt that Mira will march into her summer classroom and take command of it. When she’s not pretending to be shy, she’s a very outgoing little girl – she’s not the kid who cries at drop-off, but rather the one shoving us out the door. I never worry about that kid in new situations. I could drop her off in a biker bar and she’d be running the place by the end of the day, sporting a pretty new spiked collar she convinced some guy named Pitbull to give her.

On the other hand, I’m preparing for a lot of anxiety with Cordy. She’ll be in the older kids class this year, and will be required to do more on her own. For example, in the pre-camp letter, they explained that kids in her class will need to reapply their own sunscreen during the day. Reading that set off red-alarm sounds in my head. Cordy hates having sunscreen put on to begin with – whether it’s lotion or spray, the feel of it is a major sensory trigger. Having to actually touch it with her hands? That might send her over the edge. I’m already preparing an e-mail to the camp director to address these issues upfront so we can find a solution that won’t stress this kid out.

I fully expect it to be a good summer, though. I only wish camp would have started this week. Instead, it seems all camp programs in our area start next week, leaving a one week gap for parents to scramble for back-up babysitting. Or, if you’re me, selling your kids on the idea of a “movie day” where they can watch every Disney movie with bowls of plentiful snacks around them as long as they’re quiet and let mommy get some sleep on the couch after working the previous night.

(Before you call me out as a bad mom, it was just one day, and it wasn’t the most well-thought-out plan when it came to me getting any rest. Aaron took yesterday off so I could sleep, and my mom is keeping them entertained for the next two days. Sadly, I am not a supermom who can stay awake for 48 hours at a time – although it would be an awesome superpower to have.)

I don’t know how other working parents manage the gap. Do they have backup babysitters on speed-dial? Burn precious vacation days to stay home? Call in the extended family? Turn on PBS, leave out some Goldfish crackers and juice and set up a nanny cam to watch them from work? (Kidding on the last one. Think of all the calls you’d have to make to the answering machine when you see the kids getting into things they shouldn’t.)

By the end of this week Cordy and Mira will be begging to go to camp. And we’ll be happy to take them.

And then all will be right with the world again.

At least until August, when camp ends and there will be a two and a half week gap before school starts.

Better start looking for babysitters now.

Filed Under: being a mom, Cordy, Mira, school, the J-O-B ·

Jun 6, 2011

Plateau, For Better Or Worse

By Christina ·

I had planned to write a post about how much I hate this plateau I’m stuck on. I spend each week putting so much effort into losing weight – tracking calories, staying under a set amount, exercising with a mix of strength training and cardio – that it’s really frustrating to step on the scale at the end of that week and see no change.

I’m so close to a goal weight and yet so far from it. Plateau must be French for torturous insanity.

Then I went shopping this weekend for a new pair of dress pants and a few new shirts. I still had my usual experience of hating nearly everything I tried on myself. But I also discovered I was comfortably wearing a size 10 in my pants. Not skin-tight, suck-in-to-button, but slightly snug with some room for movement.

There, in the dressing room at Kohl’s, I suddenly came to two realizations. First, that just because I’m not losing weight doesn’t mean my body isn’t changing. And second, when I look in the mirror, I still see the fat girl who used to be me.

The last time I was at 169 pounds, I didn’t comfortably fit in a size 10. I was usually a size 12, and occasionally a size 14 to some cruel-hearted designers.

So either Lee is trying to make me feel better about my weight through some generous vanity sizing, or these legs and hips are part of a 169 pound body that has more muscle than before.

Yes, I still have tree-trunk legs, they’re just firmer tree trunks.

Which brings me to my second realization. Losing weight doesn’t mean you automatically lose the self-loathing that can continue to weigh down the perception of how you see yourself.

In my case, my brain has turned the mirror into a funhouse mirror – I look into it and where I should see myself smaller and healthier, I instead only see fat and imperfection. I feel heavy. (Which of course begs the question: how in the world did I manage to move around when I was 50 pounds heavier? Or 80 pounds heavier?)

The most frustrating part is that I KNOW I’m smaller! I see the numbers on the scale, I can wrap the measuring tape around me and see inches gone, I can put on jeans that used to be tight but now fall off of me without unbuttoning…all of these are indisputable evidence of losing weight. So why do I still see the fat girl looking back at me?

Maybe a plateau isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe my body is giving my brain a chance to catch up and realize all I’ve accomplished?

Working on shedding the heavy self-image may be even harder than losing the physical weight, though. You don’t find nearly as many guides for that sort of thing – is there a diet for losing a negative self-image?

Filed Under: Uncategorized · Tagged: plateau, the numbers game

Jun 1, 2011

Our Day Out With Thomas

By Christina ·

I’ll admit I was a little lazy this year and didn’t throw a big birthday party for Mira. However, I’m not totally to blame – I had the option of throwing her a party, or instead taking her for an amazing day out with her favorite TV celebrity, Thomas the Tank Engine.

Sure, Mira likes cake and ice cream, but the opportunity to ride in a train car pulled by Thomas? What can top that?

Mira may be a girly-girl who loves pink and dresses, but she’s also a Thomas fanatic. Her blankets are Thomas. Her pajamas are Thomas. Her entire room is decorated in Thomas and the other engines. I read her a Thomas book every night at bedtime. If this kid could write, she’d probably be sending creepy stalker love letters to Thomas.

Our day started out bright and early with a long drive towards the Cleveland area. The Day Out With Thomas event travels all across the country to different scenic railways – it’s a great way to connect train-obsessed children with the local railway resources in their areas. Our stop was at the Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Railway, which had been taken over with everything Thomas for that weekend.

Aside from the train ride itself, there were lots of activities at the event. They had bounce houses and an activity tent filled with Thomas train sets to play with and activity sheets to color. The story time tent featured live readings of Thomas stories and occasional videos as well. You could also meet Sir Topham Hatt and get your photo taken with him. They had live music and a magician, a spot for kids to get free temporary tattoos, and of course a huge gift shop.

Mira gets her Thomas tattoo

Thomas was the main attraction, however, and Mira was asking where he was from the moment she stepped out of the car. We weren’t there long before our boarding group was instructed to come to the station to line up. And then, from around the bend, we saw him chugging along on the tracks:

De traaaain, de traaaaain!

I thought Mira might faint from excitement at that moment. Even as an adult, I have to admit it was pretty cool. The engine looked just like the toy models on TV, complete with moving eyes and puffing steam. We waited for the previous passengers to unload, then found our assigned car and climbed on board. Two little girls could not be happier.

No, really, they’re happy. Even if they are trying to throw the other to the floor.

The train ride lasted about 20 minutes and took us through some beautiful woods and fields. During that time Thomas music played from the speakers (very quietly) and a short Thomas story was told. A costumed conductor came through the car and punched our tickets, chatted with the kids, and near the end presented each child with their own Jr. Engineer certificate.

When the ride was over, the girls asked for a quick photo by Thomas and then they played in the activity tent for bit.

We played for a short while longer, then took a peek through the gift shop and let Cordy and Mira each pick out one souvenir before heading for home.

Did Mira have a good birthday? Well, this was her 5 minutes after leaving the Day Out With Thomas:

She later declared it was the best birthday ever. Considering all of the birthday parties she’s attended in the past month for her classmates, I felt pretty good that we came through with something that didn’t involve spending a lot of money to rent out a party facility. Parties with friends can come later – for a four year old who likes trains, I think this was a pretty awesome birthday.

Full disclosure: I did receive complimentary tickets for the Day Out With Thomas event in exchange for sharing my honest opinions of it. It was a fun family outing, and I can already tell you we’re planning to purchase tickets for when Thomas travels to southern Ohio in the fall.

Filed Under: family time, growing up, Mira, pop culture ·

May 30, 2011