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Aug 1, 2011

Double Agent

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As I prepare for BlogHer this week, I’ve been bubbling over with excitement about seeing old friends and immersing myself in 5 days of IRL blogging heaven. This has occasionally resulted in my having to explain my excitement to those around me, followed by not taking their strange looks personally.

It’s hard to be a blogger, yo.

I often feel like I’m living two lives. One life is a nurse, working a steady full-time job, going to the grocery, picking my kids up from summer camp, sitting through business meetings at work, doing laundry, keeping strong opinions to myself, occasionally meeting up with friends, and watching TV with my husband in the evenings.

But then there’s my other life. In that life I write about my inner thoughts on the internet, converse with friends I know in person and those I’ve never met across the globe, share openly my struggles with ADD and my daughter’s autism, attend conferences of like-minded geeky people who like to talk with each other on the internet, leverage my virtual soapbox to give my opinion on products and services and provide feedback directly to big companies that otherwise wouldn’t notice me, occasionally discuss money, politics, religion or some other topic we’re not supposed to discuss in polite company, and freely dance my way across social media platforms, interacting with those who cross my path.

My other life sure seems like a lot more fun sometimes.

I often look at my two separate-but-not-equal lives and wonder which one is the real me? Or are they both different parts of me, like the Freudian id and ego?

My daily life requires me to constantly censor myself to fit in, molding every action and word to fit in with what is expected of me. Some of it is the real me, but parts are an act, an elaborate character I play when the need arises. Stick to the superficial when interacting with others in public, bury deep your true feelings so as not to offend anyone, try to blend with the crowd. And for goodness sakes, don’t talk about your blog or anything geeky, lest you be branded a complete weirdo!

In college, I was praised by my sorority (wha? yes, I was in a sorority – stop laughing) for being great at the small-talk required during rush. But small talk was easy; scripted conversation starters with a mental list of how to respond to various answers made it a game. Ask me to have more in-depth conversations, though, and the conversations quickly deteriorated as I lost my ability to be chatty and instead panicked.

Online I still must censor myself, but in a different way. Here I hide specifics of the superficial details: my daily schedule, where my children attend school, details about my job, etc. Yet here my inner soul is on display, and writing serves as an outlet for that part of me that is kept bottled up every day. My interactions here are with people who I share something in common with on a more personal level, instead of the superficial level of proximity. On my blog, I don’t feel the need to hold back on my opinions – anyone who reads them is here in my space and free to leave if they disagree.

So which is the real me? Blogging conferences always put this to the test. My online self is on display in person, interacting real-time with those I enjoy talking to online. Only without the luxury of taking the time to craft a thought-provoking or witty response. (There’s no backspace key in real life.) I always worry I’m going to disappoint people who know my online persona once they meet the physical person. Depending on what point of the day you meet me, I could be shy or very outgoing – it all depends on how overwhelmed I am at the moment.

But thankfully, most people attending BlogHer will be feeling the same way. From past experience, I know that once the initial nervous jitters pass, I find it very freeing to let my two halves loose at the same time. BlogHer makes it possible to be yourself – whichever blend of “you” is the one you feel most comfortable with.

Hopefully I’ll be seeing some of you there this week. If we haven’t met yet, I hope we’ll find the chance to say hello at some point.

Filed Under: BlogHer11, me me me · Tagged:


Jul 28, 2011

My 6 Rules For Guilt-Free Fast Food Meals

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I can say without hesitation that fast food helped me get fat.

That statement, however, is not me casting blame on the fast food industry for my problem. Although their food is laced with crack to keep you coming back for more (well, if crack = salt, sugar and fat), I can’t hold them accountable for my actions. Ronald McDonald and Wendy didn’t sit on me and force feed me burgers and Frosties until I was obese – I made that choice for myself.

Now, I will take them to task for creating a mass-appeal product that is simply too much for the average human diet. No one needs a value meal that contains nearly a day’s worth of calories in one meal. I mean, “calorie dense” is an understatement when it comes to fast food; laws of physics are bent to jam that many calories into something so small.

But the truth is, fast food is all around us. It’s convenient, it’s quick, and it’s tasty. Even if you’re not addicted to the stuff, many of us still have to rely on it for an on-the-go meal now and then. And while I would love to tell everyone to boycott fast food until the restaurant chains vow to make their items less junk and more food, I know that fast food is a hard habit to break.

If you’re a slave to the Burger King, it’s still possible to enjoy your burger without damaging all the hard work you’ve put into getting healthier. I believe it’s all in moderation.

Want to know how I still eat fast food and keep losing weight? I’ll share with you my own personal rules on visiting the drive-thru:

1. Double-anything is too much. (And “super-size” makes more than your meal larger.)
If something starts with the word “double” then chances are it’s too much food. Double cheeseburger. Double whopper. (Or TRIPLE whopper!) You get the idea. Twice the burger for just a little more money might sound like a deal, but twice the calories won’t do you any favors.

Same goes for super sizing your meal – do you really need a popcorn bucket size serving of fries and a 32 ounce drink? Get the single size sandwich and go with the smallest combo for all the taste with less impact to your waistline.

2. Fries are a side, not a second entree.
If your fry box is as big as or bigger than your sandwich (and that sandwich isn’t a double, right?), then it’s too big. Think of it this way: if you order a cheeseburger and large fries, you’re getting more calories from the fries.

3. A milkshake is not a drink. It’s a second meal.
I love milkshakes. Especially when the shamrock shake is in season. But at McDonald’s, the smallest shake (without whipped cream) will still add 420 calories to your meal, and a large could be over 1,000 calories! Do you really want to go through a day’s worth of calories in one meal?

If you really have to have something sweet, go for a kiddie ice cream cone at the end of the meal for only 45 calories.

4. Fast food restaurants can find a way to make a salad bad for you.
So you vow to eat better and decide you’ll stick with the salads when going out to eat. Smart move, right? Well, maybe. You still have to be careful with which salads you choose. For example, Wendy’s Baja salad (with dressing and tortilla strips) will cost you 730 calories. Sure, the vegetables are healthy for you, but you could get fewer calories with a junior hamburger and value fries.

My advice? Read nutritional information carefully and go for a large salad if you’re really craving a salad. Or split your interests and go for a junior hamburger and side garden salad with low-cal dressing.

5. Kid size portions are often just right for an adult.
I’ve heard a lot of people complain that kids’ meals are too high in calories for a child. Coming in around 550 calories or so, these critics may be right. But a kid meal can be just the right portion size for an adult. A 4-piece box of chicken nuggets and small fries with a water is just enough to feel full without overdoing it. Switch out the fries for apple slices for an even better choice. Bonus: some of the toys can be cute!

6. All rules were made to be broken on occasion.
Look, fast food is sometimes hard to resist. I know this. And breaking that addiction can be hard, too. There will be days when you really want that milkshake. Or when you must have those large fries.

To that, I tell you: it’s OK.

Really. As long as that craving isn’t hitting you every day, and as long as you adjust your eating for the remainder of the day (or even the next few days) to counteract the caloric damage, I say it’s fine to indulge now and then. Holding yourself back from everything you love will only make you miserable and more likely to fail.

If you eat well 90% of the time, what’s wrong with a little indulgence for that other 10%? It’s how I lost 80 pounds (so far!) and while I still eat fast food, I’ve been slowly weaning myself away from the addiction by following these rules.

Filed Under: food · Tagged:


Jul 27, 2011

A Car Story, Part Two: The Ford Fusion Hybrid

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I was a little misty-eyed when I had to give the keys to the Ford Focus back to the Ford representative after five days of fun. But my sadness quickly dissipated when he handed me the keys to the Ford Fusion hybrid waiting in my driveway.

Shiny!
I’ve only had the chance to drive a hybrid once before, and that was for about 5 minutes back in 2006. Hybrid vehicles have come a long way since then, and the Fusion is nothing like the ultra-small original hybrid cars.

My first impression of the car was that it felt so…grown up. I don’t mean it looks old by any means, but it presents an image of professionalism, success and distinguished style. It reminded me a lot of the Ford Taurus with a fresh twist on the trustworthy mid-size family sedan.

Inside the car was certainly nothing old or predictable. Sitting in the driver’s seat, I was immediately impressed by the enormous amount of space. Lots of leg room, lots of head room, and plenty of width, too. My husband and I could sit in the front seats without bumping elbows, and the girls had plenty of room for each of their booster seats in the backseat, far enough apart that they couldn’t easily annoy each other. If needed, there was enough room in the backseat to squeeze an average sized adult between the two booster seats.

In the center of the dash was the Ford SYNC touch screen computer, with many of the same features as the Ford Focus. The menus were designed to look a little more subdued than the same menus on the Focus, but were still just as easy to navigate. The steering wheel also contained the same controls for music selection, volume, and the voice-activated command system.

But the real test was driving the Fusion. Would a hybrid be able to deliver as much power as a traditional gas engine? I turned the key…and heard nothing. My first thought was that the car had somehow died in my driveway, and panic set in as I wondered how I was going to get them to come fix it. Sure, the radio came on and everything on the console had come to life, but there was no sound from the engine.

Then I noticed the air conditioning was working. Hmmm, I thought, the air conditioning usually doesn’t work unless the engine is on. So I slowly placed the car into reverse and attempted to back out of the driveway. And there was power! I did not expect that the Fusion would make NO NOISE AT ALL when I started it. Amazing!

(Side note: parents, don’t buy hybrids for your teens. You’ll never hear them sneaking out of the driveway in the car.)

After recovering from the shock of the whisper-quiet start, I then noticed the rear-view camera display on the touch screen. It gave me a clear view of everything behind the car when it’s in reverse, and even beeps if it thinks I’m getting too close to anything. This could be a very useful feature for parents of small children, or anyone who lives anywhere near small children and animals. When I shifted back into drive, the camera display vanished again.

But how does it drive, you ask? Well, it drives just like any other car. I didn’t notice any lack of power and I didn’t really notice when the car was using the battery versus the gas engine power. In fact, the Fusion hybrid has an impressive acceleration. There are displays on the dash that show you when you’re using battery power and when you’re recycling braking energy back into power for the battery. It was difficult to not watch the little meter going up and down at first – watching where I was driving was more important!

On the right side of the display is a fun little graphic of a vine with leaves. The more responsible you drive (driving in such a way as to use the battery more than the gas engine and be eco-friendly) the more leaves appear on the vine. It’s like a game to see how many leaves you can get on that vine, and you find yourself competing against…well…yourself, trying to get more leaves with each trip.

Lots of leaves – I win!

What I really like:
– the display told me I had 580 miles to go until empty when I first got the car…580 MILES on one tank of gas! And by driving the car responsibly, I kept that number fairly high.
– the amount of room in the Fusion is incredible, making it very comfortable to drive
– the hybrid’s battery usage display is fun to monitor, challenging you to drive better to preserve gas
– such a smooth, easy car to drive with no noticeable shifting from battery to gas and plenty of power

What I don’t like so much:
– this hybrid is not for you if you make a lot of stops close together. Stopping and starting means you rely less on the battery and more on the gas. If you run lots of short errands, a traditional Fusion might be a better choice for you.
– the backup camera can be distracting at first. Backing out of a parking space or my driveway, it always caught my eye, but I still felt like I needed to look behind me as well. If you’re as easy to distract as me, that camera could do more harm than good.

Overall, the Ford Fusion hybrid was a gorgeous car that I enjoyed driving. I received a few compliments on it from strangers at the grocery store and the mall, and I felt rather proud of driving such a stylish and eco-friendly vehicle.

If I had to choose from the Fusion or the Focus, which would I pick? Tough call. I think at this point in my life I’d probably pick the Focus. It has a slightly younger, zippy feel to it, and while it is smaller I actually like the cozy feel for a sedan, especially since we also have an SUV if we need a larger vehicle.

But at the same time, I can see myself preferring the Fusion when my daughters are a little older, have more stuff to carry around, and need even more space apart from each other.

(Full disclosure: Ford let me borrow these two cars for five days each. No other compensation was provided, and I still had to buy my own gas.)

Filed Under: daily life, reviews ·


Jul 26, 2011

Fun in the Sun

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Cordy and Mira demonstrate proper head and eye protection in the sun.  Too bad Cordy already scorched her shoulders in a sunscreen mishap earlier last week.

sunglasses

(Yes, this is totally a shameless photo filler post. But hey, look at the cute kids!)

(No, really, my review of the Ford Fusion is coming soon. Although I nearly typed Ford Fission when I wrote that, which would be an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT kind of car, wouldn’t it?)

(And did I mention the cute kids on this little mommyblog?)

Filed Under: Cordy, daily life, Mira, mom blogs ·


Jul 21, 2011

Picky Eater

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Going out in public with my children can sometimes be a challenge. Especially if going out involves eating, and that eating is taking place either in someone else’s home or at a restaurant my girls aren’t familiar with. Far too often I deal with someone looking at my children at one point and sighing, “So what WILL they eat?”

I have picky eaters.

I’m well aware that my kids have a small list of foods they will eat, and I’ve probably already heard every criticism and judgment someone could think to throw at me. I didn’t expose them to a wide enough variety of foods when they were younger. I didn’t expect them to eat a bite of everything placed in front of them. I gave in to their demands for the same meals over and over. I’m raising children who will have a limited experience with food and force others to bow to their whims.

Yep, I’ve heard it all, and honestly? I don’t care. I know I’m doing the best I can to give them healthy foods to eat. I still make the effort to have them try new foods, even while I give them the foods they like most of the time. And if anyone claims to know anything about dealing with a picky eater, it should be me – I was one of the worst picky eaters as a child, and now I love trying new foods.

Mira is the more adventurous one when it comes to food, but even she can be picky. Occasionally, she’ll try something new, but only if we make it seem like we want it all and really don’t want to share it with her. If we’re asking her to try a bite, then clearly it’s poison and must be avoided at all costs.

(Although it’s hilarious when she does beg to try something and doesn’t like it. She’ll take one tiny bite, force a smile and say “Yum! I like it!” just because she doesn’t want to admit that she begged for something yucky. Ask her if she wants a second bite, though, and she’ll suddenly become generous and say, “No, I just wanted one bite.” Sure you did, kid. Wish you only ever wanted ONE bite of my garlic bread.)

Cordy is far more cautious with food. Her autism and sensory issues make food a very touchy subject. She likes mac and cheese, but at home it has to be in an easy mac bowl. (And she really likes it to be neon yellow, which she can’t have due to her sensitivity to dyes. It’s been a long journey to get her to eat the white cheddar mac and cheese.) Milk has to be white – no flavored milks for her! Applesauce must be unflavored.

She refuses to drink water and will let herself get dehydrated rather than drink it – a splash of 100% juice makes it acceptable to drink. Any foods she normally eats that are presented in an unfamiliar way (like potato wedges vs. french fries) are usually rejected.

But even with her picky eating, Cordy’s short list of acceptable foods includes several healthy options. She loves salad, as long as it is lettuce and dressing only. She’ll eat apple slices and sometimes bananas, although all other fruit is unacceptable. And while she certainly likes cookies, crackers and gummy treats, I try to only buy organic and dye-free varieties for her.

It took some effort to convince her the cheese wasn’t carrots because carrots cannot exist in salad. 

I know it frustrates my family that Cordy and Mira often refuse the foods they made for all of us to share. My mom has commented on more than one occasion that they’ll never eat healthy by being this picky. However, I think that the years have clouded her recollection of my youth.

Here’s what I remember from my childhood. For main dishes, I ate only a handful of foods: mac and cheese, spaghetti, pizza, ham sandwiches, or fast food. I gagged at the very sight of rice. (Thanks a lot, Lost Boys – it took me years to overcome that aversion to rice.) The only vegetables I would even allow on my plate were green beans and occasionally carrots. My mom would beg me to try new foods and I’d turn my nose up at everything. She never forced the issue, though, and more often than not she would give in to my demands for a familiar food.

From that history, you might assume I grew up to have a limited palate. But instead, my tastes matured as I moved into my twenties, and I sought out new foods. I ate new vegetables. I actively tried new foods at parties. Chinese food became a favorite – yes, even the rice! As I matured, my food interests matured with me.

Now? I love food. There are only a handful of foods that I’d politely refuse to taste. And most of those are due to being forced to eat them at some point as a child, creating an aversion so strong that I don’t even like the smell of those foods.

I have faith that no matter how picky my daughters are now, they will not remain this way forever. I refuse to start a negative relationship with food by forcing strange foods on them. So we are short order cooks in our house. Aaron and I have our dinner, we invite the kids to join in on those foods, and if they don’t want to, we make them something else. Occasionally they eat the same thing we do, and we heap praise on them for trying something new.

Out in public, both Mira and Cordy understand that if there’s nothing they’re willing to eat, they may go hungry. I usually have snacks available if I know we’ll be gone for more than one meal, but otherwise I leave them at the mercy of their picky natures. If they’re really hungry, they’ll eat something, even if it is just a hamburger bun.

Someday they’ll be ready to try new foods, but it will happen at their own pace. And when they’re ready, I’ll be waiting to introduce them to all of the delicious foods I’ve discovered after my days of picky eating.

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Filed Under: being a mom, big issues, Cordy, daily life, Mira ·