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Aug 13, 2012

Strutting My Stuff In NYC

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Last week I spent four fantastic days in New York City for BlogHer ’12. I was completely thrilled to go, looking forward to visiting with old friends, meeting new ones, and participating in the first BlogHer Fashion Show.

This is quite possibly the first conference I’ve been to where I was excited about every outfit in my suitcase. I had a dress for every night, and cute tops with Lee jeans for the day. Lee sent me a pair of the newest Fall denim to wear to BlogHer before it was available for purchase. (Ivy Slender Secret bootcut, in case you’re curious. I haven’t seen them on the Lee website yet, but trust me, they’re gorgeous. You’ll want to check out these jeans and see if they make your butt look as good as they did mine.)

And? I rocked those jeans.

Mirror shot while waiting for the elevator.

It sounds shallow, I know, but it felt like such a victory when anyone told me how good I looked. The self-esteem boost was tremendous. I felt more confident and happy, which in turn probably helped me look even better. It’s the vicious circle in reverse: feel good, project happiness, glow with beauty, which then makes you feel good. Much better than the hate yourself, project negativity, mask any inner beauty, which then makes you hate yourself even more.

I apparently suck when it comes to taking photos of myself in my clothing, so I can’t show off all the dresses I wore. Here’s me in Times Square one evening. This dress is a size eight, and was almost too big in the top.

I need to track down photos from others that I might be in. And then of course there was the BlogHer Fashion Show. I can’t fully describe how awesome of an experience it was. Well, I guess I took a stab at describing it over here. It was the cherry on the top of hitting my goal weight!

Soaking in the moment, blogger style: taking a photo on the runway!
Photo credit: Leslie Fandrich

I was still trying to make good choices food-wise, but of course I was in New York and had a world of food in front of me. On Wednesday I wished I had brought some Slim-Fast snack bars with me, just to have a good snack around when I needed it.

Slim-Fast answered my wishes, however, by sending me a large box of snack and meal bars (plus coupons) to hand out to friends on Friday. I kept one box of Chocolate Nougat Gone Nuts and one Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough bar for myself (and oh how I needed those at the airport on Sunday!) but shared the other boxes and coupons with friends and other bloggers.

Otherwise, I ate a little bit of conference food here and there, pizza and Chinese food for a couple of dinners, and of course had to have a cheeseburger at the CheeseburgHer party on Saturday night.

I didn’t drink enough water, and by the time I arrived home on Sunday, it was obvious. My pants were tight and I felt uncomfortable. So for the past week I avoided the scale, focused on drinking plenty of water and went right back to the Slim-Fast plan. It took about five days to reverse the bloat, but now my pants are already loose again and this weekend’s scale check has me at 159.2. Slightly higher than before BlogHer, but within a margin of error for weight fluctuation.

I should also add that one of the things I love about BlogHer is that there are so many women of all types represented. While losing weight and getting healthier is important to me, I wouldn’t have been treated any differently had I weighed 50 pounds more. Or 100 pounds more.

Some of the folks who hugged and chatted with me this year at BlogHer 2012 are the same folks who welcomed and befriended me at BlogHer 2006, when I weighed over 60 pounds more than I do now. They don’t care what I look like – they care that I am healthy and happy. We value each other for our thoughts, not our looks. But they know that losing weight has been important to me, and they’ve been supportive during the journey.

BlogHer ’12 will have a special place in my heart with a lot of positive memories of laughing with friends, meeting other friends in person for the first time, and once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. I can’t wait to see what BlogHer ’13 in Chicago will hold!

Full disclosure: This post was created in connection with my appointment as an Ambassador in the Slim-Fast® Summer Slim-Down Challenge. Visit www.facebook.com/slimfast to join the conversation. 

Also, the Lee jeans I mentioned were a complimentary pair provided by Lee, although being free doesn’t change how well they fit. All opinions are my own.

Filed Under: photographic evidence, success · Tagged:


Aug 13, 2012

Life Isn’t Fair, Kid

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Conversation with Cordy last Sunday after I got home from BlogHer.

Cordy: Mommy, life just isn’t fair.

Me: Oh? Why do you say that?

Cordy: Because sometimes there are things you can’t do that others get to do.

Me: Yes, that’s true, sweetie. Life isn’t always fair, but you should be thankful for what you do have. Are you upset I went to New York and you didn’t?

Cordy: NO, mommy! I mean like saying things. Grown ups gets to say things that kids would get in trouble for. It’s not fair.

Me: Sorry, Cordy. There are just words that are only for grown ups to say and even then we probably shouldn’t be saying them.

Cordy: Like the other day when daddy called a man f**king…

Me: YES! Uh, yes, like that. Daddy shouldn’t have said that word. At least not in front of you. And you shouldn’t repeat it either.

Cordy: See? It’s just not fair.

Me: No, no it isn’t.

(Psst: If you weren’t at BlogHer and want to see a clip of me in the fashion show, check out the BlogHer TV widget over at the top of my sidebar! They currently have the fashion show running!)

Filed Under: being a mom, Cordy, daily life ·


Aug 10, 2012

Dish Suds, Domestic Disasters, and P&G Deals For You

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As has been established, I’m useless when it comes to basic domestic activities. We all have our talents – mine are recalling large amounts of information, figuring out technical subjects, math, directions, and sticking my foot my my mouth (figuratively, not literally on that last one, although that would be a talent). Cooking, cleaning, organizing? Not my best subjects.

So the first time I ever washed dishes, you can guess it was a disaster. I had watched in commercials as Dawn dish soap was squirted on dishes and the oily grime just ran away in fear, or at least that’s how it looked to my eight year old self. I figured I could help my mom out by doing the same. I grabbed our bottle of Dawn and went to work in the kitchen sink.

I squirted a little on the glass casserole dish, the plates, the cups…and nothing happened. So I squirted a little more. Or maybe a lot more. Then I remembered that I’d need a lot of water, too. I’d watched my mom add Dawn to the water, so I continued squirting Dawn into the sink as I plugged the drain and turned on the hot water.

As you probably know, a little Dawn goes a long way. And a lot goes, well, an even LONGER way. I wasn’t paying attention to the sink filling as I reached under the counter to get the dish drainer and set it on the counter, so I missed that all of that dish soap was quickly creating a mountain of suds that would quickly erupt into an avalanche.

When I saw the suds had claimed the sink and were now creeping onto the countertop and over the side, I quickly turned off the water. I had a mix of horror and delight at the sight in front of me. I didn’t plan on creating a suds monster and would have to somehow clean it all up, but also WOW look at all the fun suds!

It was still disappointing to me that the food didn’t magically disappear from the dishes, but it did come off fairly quickly with a little work. Too bad I didn’t understand rinsing, as I set the dishes in the drying rack, still with some suds on them. Or that suds on the floor still needed to be cleaned up – I assumed that since it was soap, it was doing the floor a favor and no further assistance was needed.

My mom (who amazingly kept her composure) appreciated the gesture when she saw it, but then asked me to not help with the dishes again as she re-washed all of the dishes and cleaned the dish soap from the counter and floor.

So I’m better at it now and can wash a sink of dishes successfully. Aaron generally handles the dishes now, but when I do it I try to make it as pleasant as possible. I still like Dawn dish soap, although we’ve moved beyond the old blue formula to their new Dawn Ultra Hand Renewal – Olay Beauty Pomegranate Splash Scent. It smells great, and the formula actually moisturizes my hands.

Love the Pomegranate scent!

My eight year old self might not have minded the dry, tight feeling from having my hands in hot water for a long period, but at 36 I’m doing my best to keep my hands from getting ahead of me in the age game. This Dawn helps my hands feel soft and smooth while still getting our dishes clean. I’m all about multitasking.

And here’s the whole point of this story: I’m partnering with Procter & Gamble to help promote their new P&G eStore. Nearly every product made by P&G can be found in their store, including the Dawn Ultra Hand Renewal – Olay Beauty Pomegranate Splash Scent. I’ve looked around and found their prices to be as good as or even better than the store sale prices in our area.

Some products have instant coupons that can be applied immediately – no need to hunt around for coupon codes. They currently have some back-to-school and Olympics themed product bundles right now, helping you save even more for products you already use.

You’ll get free shipping for any purchase of $25 or more, too. I don’t need to tell you how fantastic that is – why haul all of your favorite home and personal items from the store (large size Tide containers can be heavy!) when you can have them delivered right to your doorstep for free?

Plus, if you shop through my specific link, you can also get 10% off your entire order this month. I must point out that I receive a commission from anything you buy in the P&G store from my link, too, which is mighty helpful with all of the back-to-school expenses coming up. So really, you’re getting a deal for yourself and helping me afford shoes for two children who grow too quickly. Or Dawn dish soap, if they take after me in their dish-washing abilities.

Feel free to pass my link along to friends and family so they can get in on the deals as well – I only get the commission if you shop through my link.

And if you do take advantage of the 10% off and shop through my link, please leave a comment and let me know what you bought! (Unless you’re buying personal items you’d prefer not to share. Or maybe you do want to tell me about your tampons – I’m OK with it either way!)

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to go buy my Puffs and Bounty multi-packs for our school supply lists.

Filed Under: domestic zero, memories, shameless promotion, sponsored ·


Aug 9, 2012

That One Time I Walked In A Fashion Show At BlogHer ’12

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You may have seen the reports that while I was at BlogHer ’12, I was in a fashion show.

I know, I know. Stop laughing – I’m serious!

When I was first contacted about participating in the first ever BlogHer fashion show, I almost wondered if I was being punked. Except the email was from Elisa and I know she’d never do that to me. She had noticed me discussing BlogHer fashion on Twitter – of course, I was discussing why my jeans are perfectly acceptable conference wear, since that’s how I dress in real life. My jeans are practically my brand!

I’ll admit I went through a lot of emotions on the subject. First, I was completely flattered to be asked – what an honor that my name was considered to be in such a big event! I’m not a big name blogger by any means, and fashion is not a topic I generally write about.

Another emotion was giddy. Never before in my life have I considered being in a fashion show. Ever. While some little girls dreamed of being a model, I dreamed of being an astronaut. And as I got older – and heavier – it simply wasn’t on my radar. When you’re presented with quite possibly a once-in-a-lifetime experience like this, it’s easy to quickly add it to your bucket list.

But then the fear set in. Me. On stage. Dressed up. And walking. Being on stage I can handle, even being on stage and dressed up. But add in walking or talking and I suddenly fear making a fool of myself in front of a crowd. I have lost a lot of weight, and I’m ready to celebrate that, but I’m not model perfect.

Would people make fun of me? The big girl on stage wobbling in her heels? When I was younger I was the fat, ugly girl, a message I internalized after so many others had declared it to be true.

I didn’t want fear to win this time, so I quickly accepted before I could talk myself out of it. But even in the days leading up to it, that nagging voice of low self-esteem kept filling my head with doubt. Even at the fitting it was hard to accept a compliment from anyone. And being unable to fit in the first dress I tried on just provided ammo for that little voice that I would fail. I anxiously awaited Saturday night.

Then the magic happened.

I was still feeling like an ugly ducking as I sat down for makeup just hours before the show. I joked with the Elizabeth Arden team that my usual makeup regimen was face wash and a moisturizer with sunscreen. For special occasions I’d switch to a tinted moisturizer. Rebecca Restrepo, a woman who deserves the title of world-famous makeup artist, took her time and provided tips on how to use makeup to highlight my own natural beauty. She took my own makeup habits into account and created a look that was natural and simply luminous. I glowed.

No really, I love this woman. She works magic.

Next, the Paul Mitchell team took control of my hair. My stylist asked what I’d like, and I showed her a photo of my outfit and gave her free reign to do what she thought best. The finished result was stunning.

We had to wait to get dressed, and I remember going into the bathroom and just staring at myself in the mirror.

bathroom instagram

I was beautiful. But my hair wasn’t drastically different. And my makeup wasn’t that heavy either – hell, she used a tinted moisturizer as a foundation! So with the changes being so minor, why did I feel and look like a different person?

It wasn’t until my dresser had helped me into my outfit (jeans! imagine that!) and I turned around and found myself face-to-face with a different me in the mirror that suddenly it all made sense.

All of this fuss to make me look beautiful for the runway also made me feel beautiful on the inside, and what was reflected in that mirror wasn’t just makeup, hair and clothing, but also an inner beauty and self-confidence that had been hidden for most of my life. A simple trick of prettying the facade had convinced my self-esteem that I really was beautiful now, but logic also kicked in to say look closer – it’s still the same you. You just never noticed.

We were then lined up and prepped backstage for our big moment. The nerves were still there, but they were partially mixed with excitement. I had made a last minute decision to keep my phone with me, and even though we hadn’t rehearsed it, I was going to photograph the crowd at the end of the runway. This was a blogger fashion show, right? Well, that’s what this blogger would be doing in this circumstance!

The walk was a blur. I remember taking a deep breath right before I climbed the stairs to the stage. I remember the cheering and hearing my name, although I couldn’t see out into the crowd because of the lights. I remember letting those cheers fuel my walk as I strutted to the center of the stage.

Photo credit: Mark Von Holden Photography

I remember lifting my sunglasses and giving my best surprised act – omg! look at all of you out there! how ya been? – at the end of the runway. I remember my sunglasses falling low on my nose as I tried to take a photo of the crowd (it didn’t turn out – too bright) and fumbling with my phone as I tried to get it in my coat pocket.

Showing the crowd some photo love. (photo credit: Melisa Wells)

I remember walking back towards the main stage and seeing friends in the front row, yelling and cheering me on, and then as I neared backstage seeing Kelly standing in her row of chairs and whooping as loud as she could. And as I stepped backstage, I remember thinking wait – it’s over? No! I want to go back out!

Now I had all of the confidence in the world. I was unstoppable. I sat backstage while others took their turn on the runway and couldn’t stop smiling.

And after? I felt like a new person. It was amazing. I felt beautiful. Powerful. Worthy. I happily jumped into photos with friends at the CheeseburgHer party. I even photobombed a few folks, too.

Sorry, The Next Martha, I couldn’t resist.

I didn’t want to go to bed that night, mostly because I didn’t want to wash off the makeup. I took self-portraits in my hotel room bathroom before pulling out the face wash, sad to remove this pretty face. But you know what? I still woke up beautiful. (Well, aside from the bedhead and lines on my face from the pillowcase.) Taking off the makeup didn’t remove what I had discovered the night before.

Thank you, BlogHer, Kathryn, Darlene, Sheila, 6pm.com, Elizabeth Arden, Paul Mitchell, Petsmart, all of the other fantastic blogger models, and everyone involved with the fashion show, for giving me the experience of a lifetime, and helping me find my inner beauty.

You helped this 36 year old mom, who has never in her life considered herself worth a second look, much less a fashion show walk, blossom into the swan I always wished I could be. It was there the whole time, but I couldn’t see it until now. Real beauty is feeling comfortable in your own skin, accepting who you are, and loving yourself.

(And a special thank you to two lovely women I had never met before who approached me at CheeseburgHer to tell me how fantastic I was in the fashion show. You have no idea how much your kind words meant to me!)

PS: The full video of the fashion show can be found at BlogHer.com. Elizabeth Arden has a great set of photos from the event, too.

Filed Under: big issues, BlogHer12, love, me me me, shameless bragging, shameless promotion ·


Aug 7, 2012

What Happened At Home While I Was In NYC

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While I was on a plane to New York last Wednesday, this happened:

severed cable/internet line

That’s the buried cable line for our house, no longer buried and no longer intact. The idiot apartment builders behind us (Ardent Communities, for those who would like to know), having no respect for us or our property, trespassed onto our land and ripped up the top layer of the back property line, about four feet beyond our property line. The grass was torn out, and they cut the cable line, leaving Aaron with no ability to work from home that day.

Why did they do it? They told me yesterday that they had to clear space to put up the fence that should have been in place months ago. This is of course the complete opposite of what they told me several weeks ago, when they promised that nothing on our property would be affected by putting up the fence. They also told me that the cable line was cut because it wasn’t buried, which is a lie – I watched the cable company bury the line years ago. And you can still see where it disappeared into the ground before it got ripped up by their machinery.

They didn’t ask if we could clear our land. They didn’t ask permission to come onto our land. And they didn’t give any notice of doing it. It was trespassing and willful destruction.

Yesterday they tried to say that I was wrong about where the property line was and that really most of what they took out was their land. Um, this stake below? It’s labeled Property Line, and they were the ones who placed it there. I see a hell of a lot of dirt and missing greenery on the left side of that stake, also known as OUR LAND.

(We won’t even get into the health issues I’m suffering resulting from their unwillingness to follow the rezoning guidelines. If I’m forced into another sinus surgery because of the dust, I’ll be providing their address as the responsible party for billing.)

I finally reached my limit yesterday when I watched a Bobcat pick up a few pallets of wood from a spot about 10 feet from my property line to then drive them onto my land and dump them there. A gift of wood? I considered going outside to thank them for the peace offering and asking them to help me carry my new wood planks into our garage, but decided that sarcasm would likely be lost on these guys.

Is it our 5th anniversary already, Ardent/Village Communities? Aww, you shouldn’t have.
(Property line stake, you ask? Hidden behind & to the left of the guy in the photo.)

So instead I took photos and then emailed the City of Columbus contacts I’ve corresponded with before (two city council aides and a person in zoning) asking them for guidance on who to contact to report the damage to our property, the failure of the company to meet yet another deadline that has long passed, and to have the wood removed.

I’d also like to take the time to call out the City of Columbus as a collection of cowards. I continue writing to them for assistance in this matter, considering that’s part of what we pay our taxes for. And instead of responding to me, like I asked them to do, they forward my emails on to the apartment developer, like they did yesterday.

Stay classy, Columbus government – nice to see you’re doing your part to look out for and help your citizens. Or is it your political contributors? I’m fuzzy on the details. If I had more money to donate for election campaigns would I at least get an email response? I’ve got $10 – could that even get me an automated response?

And so Ardent Communities continues to “apologize” for screwing up over and over, when it’s obvious they are doing it on purpose. For a company that claims to have been in real estate for so many years, either Ardent Communities is utterly incompetent at what they do (making me wonder how they’ve been doing this for so long) or they’re simply evil bastards who are too used to getting their own way and will trample, ignore and try to destroy anything in their way to get what they want, with no respect for others. I’m betting it’s the second option.

Too bad (for them) that they had to build next to me.

I can’t stand seeing companies (with some unwise opinions about race) break the rules at the expense of everyday people just because they have more money and power. This is about waaaaaay more than a strip of land and a fence. This is about homeowners’ comfort, safety and health in their own homes being disregarded for the wants of the privileged.

Had I not complained as much as I already have, there would still be a 30ft deep pit on the edge of our property with nothing to prevent children from falling into it. There would be no partial fence on the other edge of the property line already. And they wouldn’t have even started this side of the fence.

Had I not complained and rallied the neighborhoods before the rezoning, they would have crammed even more apartment buildings into the space, with no attempts at providing any privacy screening or rules preventing convicted sex offenders from renting those apartments. We were unable to prevent the rezoning, but I was leading the community to get a few demands from the neighborhoods into that rezoning. (Which the company is still partially ignoring. Hence my continuing to shout loudly.)

The company is acting like a spoiled child who has never been told no. They drag their feet at what they’re required to do and do it poorly in the hopes of making us sorry we even demanded it in the first place. Fortunately, I have two children who have tried these tactics and been shut down before it got out of hand. Someone needs to tell these guys no as well. They need a time out and they need their toys taken away.

I don’t look kindly on entitled asshole businessmen who are so shady they renamed their company after earning a bad reputation and had an F rating with the Better Business Bureau. (The new company name has a C- so far.) They have a track record for trying to screw the average person, and that’s not right.

It’s on like Donkey Kong.

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Filed Under: rant · Tagged: