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Oct 31, 2012

Shaking Up The IEP With A Frankenschedule

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Two weeks ago we had our annual IEP meeting for Cordelia with her teachers and support staff. After the problems we’ve been having with her at school recently, this meeting couldn’t have come soon enough. We were already talking with her special needs teacher before the meeting and all in agreement that something had to change to get Cordy back on track.

At the start of the meeting we went over Cordy’s testing results. She’s reading at a beginning fourth grade level now. (She’s in second grade.) It’s possible she’s reading at a higher level than that, but she got annoyed with the testing and wouldn’t go any further. Her math scores are equally impressive, scoring off the charts on many of her timed math tests.

Her greatest challenges are linked to her anxiety. She tries to avoid anything new, she’s very sensitive to noise in the classroom, and she’s prone to overreaction when her behavior is corrected. This leads to many of the problem behaviors she’s been having recently, landing her in more and more trouble. She’s unable to self-soothe when she gets anxious and instead self-destructs. She also is bothered more by sensory stimuli when she’s bored and not focused on the task at hand.

We set up new goals for her to accomplish during the next year and then we discussed how to make school a better environment for her. We agreed that her current classroom was not working for her – it’s too loud and Cordy is bored with the level of work. It’s not the teacher’s fault, as she’s doing her best to deal with a class of kids who are just particularly rowdy. But there was also a disconnect between Cordy and the teacher, and it seemed like the best response was to switch classrooms to send her to the other second grade class.

So far, it’s going well. She likes the other teacher and says he has a “quiet, calm voice” that makes her feel less anxious. We haven’t had any calls home since the switch, and the end of the day reports are generally positive. She did get upset one day because she was caught reading in class (when she should have been focused on the teacher), but we used the Flummox & Friends video to remind her when she needs to be “in the group” and when it’s ok to not be in the group.

(Side note to parents of kids with autism, ADHD, or even neuro-typical kids: go watch Flummox & Friends. They only have a pilot so far, but they need to get this show produced. The episode has already given us new ways to cue Cordy on social behavior. No, I’m not an affiliate or anything – I actually gave them money through Kickstarter to help produce their pilot and I think they have a great idea.)

Back to our story –

We also met with the principal to discuss higher level reading and math for Cordy. After talking it through, we all agreed that skipping Cordy ahead an entire grade level might not be the best idea, as she’s already behind socially, but we clearly have to address her academic needs, too. I give the principal credit, she’s doing a lot of string-pulling to get the best possible education for our daughter.

This week we started our new Frankenschedule for Cordy, just in time for Halloween. They’ve cobbled together a work-in-progress new schedule for her that involves remaining in her new second grade classroom for most of the day, but attending third grade reading and spelling each day, and getting supplemental math homework supplied by the third grade math teacher while still attending second grade math.

Of course, reading times between grades don’t line up, so she’s missing reading one day to make sure she attends her required gym class each week, and going to music each week with the other second grade teacher’s class so she won’t miss music. She’ll have an “independent study” time on Mondays, too.

It sounds messy, and at the moment it is. Cordelia has had some anxiety over the changes, but I’m told she’s handling it fairly well. She told me she’s nervous about being with third graders, but lucky for us she was in a split level class last year (first and second graders taught together) so she knows a few of the kids in her third grade reading class. An aide is also going with her for now to provide reassurance and stabilize her emotionally.

It’s also still just a test as we see if this Frankenschedule will work out – five different teachers and the principal are working together to coordinate their efforts for my kid. If Cordy continues to excel at math, she may be moved up to third grade math, too, meaning another re-write of the schedule.

Aaron and I are also just as involved with this change. The new schedule requires a lot more effort from us at home, too. Her third grade spelling class has required assignments every night, all requiring parent participation, so we’re required to be more involved with her homework. And the supplemental math homework coming home is a form of self-study to keep her challenged and assess her abilities for a higher level of math, which means we’re the ones teaching it to her at the moment. (Thank goodness I was a math scholar in high school!)

The principal also agreed with the special needs teacher that Cordy should be re-tested in math as soon as possible. She missed the “gifted” in math assessment by a single point on the standardized test last year and they’d like to see that corrected. They’ll also be bringing in an evaluator to assess her for “superior cognitive ability” with an IQ test. They strongly suspect she’ll test in the gifted range, which will then make her almost guaranteed to have a spot in the fourth/fifth grade gifted & talented class when the time comes. That class is very non-traditional and everyone I’ve spoken with about it believes Cordy would thrive in that setting.

I can’t tell you how relieved I am that the school was willing to take action after the problems Cordy was experiencing a few weeks ago. She’s still anxious over all of the changes (she hates change) but she’s already showing signs of being more relaxed and there haven’t been any new incidents. We’ve agreed that she’ll no longer be sent to PEAK and lose recess for any outbursts, but will instead be sent to the special needs classroom for appropriate redirection and consequence if needed.

I’m crossing my fingers that the new schedule will work for Cordy and she’ll rise to the challenge. She’s getting a semi-custom education now, and it’ll be a tough adjustment for all of us but I think it’s worth it. We’re making active progress at controlling her anxiety so she won’t get in the way of herself. I have high hopes this kid will do great things.

There aren’t a lot of public role models for girls with autism out there. I look at Temple Grandin, and I’ve read her mother’s book about raising her and fighting to make sure she succeeded, and I can only hope that Cordy will be just as successful because of her autism and not in spite of it. She has unique gifts that will hopefully guide her purpose in life, and we’re here to nurture them and help clear any roadblocks for her.

There’s no chance we’re giving up on this kid.
Filed Under: Autism, Cordy, people who don't suck, school ·


Oct 29, 2012

Busywork Backlash

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How do you know when your super-smart second grader has reached her limit of doing worksheets at school?

When you get answers like this:

In case you can’t read it, her answer is “My teacher said so.”
 Well…she’s not wrong.
Filed Under: Cordy, school ·


Oct 26, 2012

Virus vs Willpower: Virus Wins

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Saying “I hate getting sick” is a ridiculous statement. I don’t know a person who LIKES to be sick. Well, maybe kids trying to get out of an exam, but that’s about it.

Most illnesses I fight off quickly and get back to business. Anything involving vomiting will keep me down for a few days, but other than that? I’m usually able to push past it and keep going. If I’m out for a day, I worry everything will fall down around me, because I’m always juggling so many items so very carefully.

But I’m sick. There’s no denying it. Two weeks ago I felt the start of a cold and beat it into submission with vitamins, sleep and spicy foods. That weekend the cold vanished and I gave a sigh of relief that it wasn’t going to get in my way.

Then last Tuesday, while on an Ohio Dairy Adventure trip (more on that later), I started to feel the stuffiness in my nose and a slight sore throat. By Wednesday the congestion had completely overtaken my sinuses. Daaaaaaaaaamn. Still, it was just a cold. Take some decongestants, vitamins and some strong coffee to keep me going and I’d be fine.

By Wednesday night, though, my voice was completely gone. Just a whisper. That’s fine, I’m still feeling OK other than no voice and general cold symptoms. My voice came back over the weekend and the cold seemed to go away. No cold is getting in my way.

But then then cough started. Oh my goodness, this may be the worst cough I’ve ever had. I’m on a steady diet of cough suppressants (including honey) and ibuprofen, but I cough day and night, my head and muscles ache from the coughing, and I’m utterly exhausted. No other symptoms – just a hard, dry cough that won’t stop and leaves me gasping for air at times.

I’m so frustrated because I have no energy or breath to get everything done. It’s maddening to see my to-do list keep growing and not be able to check off items fast enough. 

Next week I hope to bet better or at least have more energy, because I have SO much to write about. Cordy’s IEP meeting happened, and as a result big changes have been going on with her at school. And I want to tell you all about what I learned from meeting these gals last week:

Filed Under: me me me, plague ·


Oct 23, 2012

Politics On The Playground

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It’s no secret that the political atmosphere is about as thick as it can get at the moment. You can’t watch TV, listen to the radio, check your mail, answer the phone, or drive anywhere without having political ads in your way.

Even schools are getting involved with “Kids Choose the President” type events. This weekend Cordy and Mira told me all about their discussions of the elections at school. Cordy told me there is a website for kids to go to and choose who they would vote for if they had a say in picking the President.

I asked her what her teacher said about the candidates. Cordy rattled off some very basic information about how and why we vote, Obama being the current president and going for his second and last term, Romney being the challenger, two political parties with different ideas for ways to do things, etc. It was very non-partisan, and sounded like good information for the kids on how the political process works.

I asked Mira if she had similar discussions in her class. She then responded, “Mommy, I was told President Obama was a bad man.”

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. “What?? Your teacher told you that?”

“No, mommy, some of my friends said it. Their parents said he was a bad man who spent too much money and wants to hurt us. They said we have to vote for Romney, but I don’t think we want to do that, do we?” She then went on to say some friends have been saying these things for weeks now, with one child even making it clear that kids who like Obama aren’t good kids.

I’m really, really uncomfortable with this. Five year olds. Spewing political hate and propaganda to their five year old friends on the playground to take home and share with their parents. What parent thinks this is OK for their children to say?

My children have asked who we’re voting for, and we’ve told them we’re voting for Obama. They’ve asked several questions about why we prefer him, and we’ve always kept it high-level and age appropriate. We explain that each candidate has different ideas for how to be president, and we agree more with Obama’s ideas, so he’s our choice.

We’ve also told them it’s OK for others to have different ideas, and they’re not bad people because they think a different plan is better. Voting is how we all say which person and ideas we like the best, and the person who has the most votes gets to try out their ideas.

We’ve talked issues a little, too, but they’re too young to understand many of the issues at stake, so we keep it general and non-scary. We’ve also told them it isn’t polite to tell other kids they’re wrong about which candidate they prefer, even if someone tells my kids they’re wrong.

NEVER would I tell my child that a presidential candidate wants to hurt them or is a bad person. Who instills that kind of fear and hate into their children? It’s not OK to make children hate their president or fear the government of the country where they live.

What happens if Obama wins this election? Do these children spend the next four years having nightmares that their president will snatch them from their beds and hurt them? Do their five year old hearts harden towards the president and any who agree with him, turning them eventually into angry, prejudiced adults who can’t see any further than the rage and fear programmed into them?

I have no concerns with our school teaching proper government education to our kids (I respect those who have different views, but that’s not the topic at hand), but I do worry about what inappropriate opinions kids are bringing to school from home. A child telling friends that kids who like Obama aren’t good kids is the same to me as a child telling friends that kids who like Christians aren’t good kids. It’s hateful and divisive and shouldn’t be said at school.

In our home, we believe in the political process and want to make the idea of voting and choosing a new president (and other political offices) interesting and thoughtful for our kids, not scary and traumatic. Sure, I have much stronger political views online and in the presence of other adults, but around my kids that subject is reigned in. At their age, they need to learn about democracy and government structure, not about the negative ads, accusations, hate and gridlock that tries to tear down that system. They’ll be exposed to all of that too soon, sadly.

(Yes, they went with me to an Obama rally in 2008. Mira was just over a year old and Cordy was four and slept through nearly the entire thing. I would not take them to a political rally at their current ages, although I happily take them with me to vote.)

My daughters aren’t hearing attack ads – there are no political ads on Nick Jr, and I turn down the radio during commercials in the car. Our discussions are upbeat and positive so they will like the political process, not fear it. And even when teaching differences of opinion, we still point out that, even if we think differently from others, we’re all a part of the same country and still have to get along.

I don’t understand why any parent would knowingly teach fear and division with the topic of politics. Teach your kids about why voting is important to you and give them a general view of why you prefer one person’s ideas over another, but leave the hate out of your message and don’t scare kids. Instead, emphasize that there are many different ways to approach the same problem, and that in the end, we’re still all one people that need to work together for the greater good.

These are our future voters and lawmakers – let’s teach them to do a better job than we’ve done.

Filed Under: big issues, other people's kids, politics ·


Oct 19, 2012

We Might Belong On The Gluten-Free Bandwagon

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Gluten-free seems to be the new big thing in food lately. Some say that switching to a gluten-free diet will cure nearly anything bothering you. While that’s certainly not the case, there is a growing body of evidence that many people might be sensitive to gluten, even if they’re not completely unable to eat it. And for those who truly need to be on a gluten-free diet, the influx of new products in the grocery and restaurants with labeled gluten-free menu items has made it a lot easier for them to find foods that comply with their dietary needs.

I’ve wondered if my family would see any benefit from going gluten-free. I have no digestive problems, but I do have a constant battle with low energy, especially after eating. Aaron, on the other hand, has a long history of stomach aches, cramping, and other digestive problems. But I’ll admit I also feel like gluten-free is the new fad that, while necessary for a small percentage of people, is being adopted by some for no reason other than being trendy.

While at BlogHer in August, Udi’s Gluten Free Foods was there as a sponsor and suggested I try going gluten-free for 14 days to see if there was any benefit to it. I expressed interest, and they sent me a sampler of some of their products to get me started.

I’ll confess: I did the challenge more for Aaron than myself. He’s never talked with his doctor about his digestion issues, and I suspected something in his diet was probably the culprit. If he was willing to try it with me, then maybe we’d have a clue to his stomach issues, or at least be able to cross one potential cause off the list. (Note: we didn’t have the kids go gluten-free. I didn’t feel the need to stress them out with a sudden shift in their diets for such a short period of time.)

We started on October 1 and stayed gluten-free for 14 days. The Udi’s bread, cookies and muffins were great to help with our craving for baked goods, but we didn’t limit ourselves to those items. I found a gluten-free pasta at the grocery made from corn and quinoa that was just as delicious as any wheat-based spaghetti.

It was HARD to go out to eat. Everything had to be carefully scrutinized, ingredients checked, restaurants vetted over the internet before we made a choice, etc. And even then we still ran into problems. We carefully checked before going to a local pizza shop for dinner one night. They advertised their gluten-free pizza crusts – too bad they were all out of gluten-free pizza crusts at the time. I had a salad and some baked gluten-free fries for my dinner that night.

I also found that gluten is in nearly everything. Sauces were a big hidden source of gluten, especially soy sauce. Even some lunch meats have gluten.

But there were also several foods we already were eating that were still safe to eat. My ham sandwiches were fine as long as they were on gluten-free bread. Pirate’s Booty cheese puffs and hard cheeses were still OK. Our Indian dinners we make at home were also naturally gluten-free. Some McDonald’s entree salads were still fine, too. And Nutella? Still gluten free. (Yay!!)

While we did have to be more careful and switch some of our usual products to gluten-free versions of the same food, it wasn’t as hard as I expected it to be. I didn’t feel deprived of any food. And the gluten-free foods tasted really good, too. Udi’s whole grain bread has a lot more flavor and texture than the bread I had been using. The bagels and cookies are also delicious. They were moist and had plenty of flavor, erasing my worries of food that tasted bland or had a hard texture.

At the end of 14 days, it was time to return to gluten. To make it even more of a gamble, it was the same day I was leaving for a three-day trip to Cleveland. I hoped that nothing horrible would happen to me.

The results: I do not appear to have any gluten sensitivity. While I enjoyed the foods, and did notice that I wasn’t quite as foggy-headed after eating, I didn’t notice any significant differences overall.

Aaron, on the other hand, was a different story. Throughout the challenge, he said he didn’t feel all that different. I started to doubt that gluten was a problem for him. But then he went back to his usual diet and, well, Monday was a rough day for his insides. Not to get into too much detail, but he felt pretty lousy from the stomach cramping and intestinal upset. He’s already returned to eating gluten-free to see if it will calm his digestive system down again, and will be seeing his doctor to get more information.

(If he’s willing to call the doctor and talk about this, then I know it must be pretty severe. He hates going to the doctor and hates discussing this topic even more.)

The next step will be deciding if we’ll try going gluten-free with the kids. Mira’s pediatrician has said it would be worth a try since she had a blood test for allergies that resulted in no actual allergies but an elevated IgE level, meaning she was having an inflammatory response to something. And if one or two members of our household are gluten-free, then there’s a good chance most of the food the other members eat will be gluten-free, too, just for ease of food preparation.

I’m not exactly thrilled with the idea of having family members who need to be gluten-free. It is a little more expensive – or a lot more if you buy mostly convenience items – and requires more thought and planning to eat outside of the home. But if it’s needed for the health of my husband and/or my kids, of course I’ll suck it up and do it. At least it’s easier to find products and support for it now.

Big thanks to Udi’s for giving us the push with the 14-day gluten-free challenge! It helped us think more carefully about what we eat and may have even uncovered a clue to Aaron’s health.

Full disclosure: Udi’s sent us product samples and coupons to help start the 14-day gluten-free challenge, but we still supplemented beyond that. And while most beer has gluten, I can happily report that most vodka is gluten-free.

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Filed Under: Aaron, daily life, healthy living, me me me, reviews ·