Christina, Author at A Mommy Story

Dec 28, 2012

The Last Week In Photos (and A Little Text)

Whoa, hey, how’s it going? Amazing how fast December can fly by when your to-do list is a mile long, right?

We’re in the first week of winter break here, which in our house results in two kids who are really hyper, with one of them having a very hard time being off of her usual routine. I’m doing my best to control the chaos, which would be a lot easier if I could remember where I stored their snow boots from last year so they could go play in the snow.

I’m a little short on words, so here’s a photo journal of the last week.

We went to the zoo for Wild Lights and of course had to see the polar bears:

Unfortunately, we learned that the excitement of zoo lights can sometimes be too much for a five year old. She hasn’t had a potty accident for a year and a half, but she was so excited she forgot to tell us she needed to pee until it was too late. So I spent half an hour in a cold bathroom with her while Aaron ran to the gift shop to spend way too much money on sweat pants and socks.

We didn’t get to see as many of the lights as we had planned.

Next, Cosmo got a check-up at the vet, and we celebrated having him with us for one year.

He’s quite dashing in his sweater. He may weigh 95+ pounds, but he has little fur and gets cold easily.

I then had an experiment in baking and made candied almonds. Amazingly, it turned out delicious:

Recipe can be found here.

Mira watched The Wizard of Oz for the first time over the weekend. Other than the wicked witch, she liked it.

She liked cuddling on the couch with Cosmo, too.

Christmas Eve was spent with extended family at my cousin’s house. We enjoyed catching up with everyone and Cordy and Mira had fun playing with the other kids.

Getting them to hold still for a photo was tough, though.

Christmas Day was filled with the tearing of wrapping paper and squeals of joy.

Unwrapping their Furby toys.

Cuddleuppet, Tooth Fairy pillow, and a very happy Mira.

Also on Christmas Day, Aaron and I slipped away to go see the movie Les Miserables. Amazing movie. I loved it, even if I sobbed through a large part of it. It’s very similar to the stage musical, only now the actors are up close and the emotion is super intense.

I’ve seen the musical a few times and know it by heart, so I also had to resist the urge to criticize any cuts to the score or changing of lyrics.

And then, the day after Christmas, the snow came.

Now if only I could find our snow boots.

How has your week been?

Filed Under: Cordy, Cosmo, family time, holidays, Mira, snow ·

Dec 19, 2012

Our Friendly Neighborhood Santa

By Christina ·

I wanted to write about all that has been going on in my head the past several days. About the heartbreaking tragedy of Newtown, Connecticut. About my anger over the media trying to (wrongly) link Aspergers and autism to violent behavior. About my own daughter with autism, and how she is so afraid of violence she won’t even watch Harry Potter because she can’t deal with the idea of Harry’s parents being killed.

But...I can’t. It’s too much to process right now.

So instead, I’ll share with you a happy story, about two little girls who got to walk to Santa’s house to meet him and have a snack with him.

One of our neighbors is a professional Santa, and his wife dresses up as Mrs. Claus. He lives one street over, and we see him occasionally throughout the year. He’s clean shaven from January thru late Spring, then begins growing the beard back in for the holidays.

This year they sent invites to the neighborhood to come to Santa’s house for milk and cookies one Sunday afternoon. Their house is always well-decorated for Christmas, including an extra mailbox for letters to Santa. The invite was to all kids to come to Santa’s house and meet with him.

Our kids were confused as to how Santa could live in our neighborhood. We explained that Santa has lots of homes all over the world, and visits each of them often so he can keep an eye on all of the good little boys and girls in that area. When he’s not there, he has helpers who keep up the house for him. For two little girls who love Santa, that was an easy story to buy into.

So we took them to our neighbor’s open house, and we were greeted at the door by Santa. Cordy and Mira were stunned into silence for only a moment, before bursting through the door and telling Santa how much they liked his decorations. Mrs. Claus then appeared and guided the girls into the kitchen to pick out some cookies and snacks.

We chatted a little bit while other families arrived. Then Santa sat down in his chair and invited the kids to come talk with him. Each took their turn telling him what they’ve been up to lately and what they hope he’ll bring them on Christmas. Mrs. Claus took photos of each of the kids with Santa, too. (Likely better than my blurry iPhone pics here.)

…and I want a Furby, and more Skylanders, and Pokemon, and a kite, and…

Having “Santa” as a neighbor is helpful, because he knew right where they lived, and he already knew they had a dog named Cosmo – they really believed he was watching them all the time. Getting that kind of confirmation from him reinforced for them that Santa was real.

This is type of gesture that reminds me there are still good people in the world. There was no cost for this open house, although donations of canned food for our local food bank or gently used coats for the homeless shelter were encouraged.

They opened their home and their kitchen up to all of the families of our neighborhood. They had been baking sugar cookies for days to prepare, and the snack spread was impressive. Time, energy, and money were given out with no expectations in return.

No child left that home without one-on-one time with Santa, and the room was filled with lots of smiling little faces as it sunk in that they were visiting Santa’s house. It was pure joy and love.

I don’t think any other Santa will be able to top that experience for my kids. Or for me.

Filed Under: family time, holidays, love, people who don't suck ·

Dec 14, 2012

What’s In A Name?

By Christina ·

Yesterday as I was driving the kids home from school, somehow the topic in the car shifted to names.

Mira: “Mommy, my teacher’s last name is the same as her husband’s last name.”

Me: “OK.”

Mira (suddenly sounding upset): “A friend in my class said that a family is everyone with the same name.”

Me: “Well, that’s not quite true…”

Mira (now more upset): “She said that if you don’t have the same last name as us, you must not be our real mom, and you must be a stepmom.”

Me: “WHAT?”

Mira: “That’s what she said. And it made me mad! But you’re our real mommy, right?”

Years ago when Aaron and I got married, there was a small discussion about changing names. I was in grad school at the time, expecting to make a name for myself in academia (hahaha), and I wasn’t all that keen about changing my name. Aaron was completely indifferent to the idea. He was OK if I took his last name, and he was OK with me keeping my name.

I wasn’t really trying to make a feminist statement with my last name. After all, it’s a paternal surname. But it’s the name I’ve had since birth, the name I graduated from high school and college with, and the name I had for the start of my career. I’ve had to spell it countless times, sound it out slowly when people mangled the pronunciation, and agree with hundreds of people that yes, it is an unusual last name. I’m acclimated to handling anything involving this difficult name now.

Aaron’s last name, while not as hard to spell as mine, is equally as unusual and often mispronounced. I didn’t feel like trading away one difficult name for another. I didn’t want to go through the hassle of giving up my public identity and changing every legal document to become a different identity that was still the same person underneath.

Besides, both of us felt strongly that a name wasn’t what tied a family together. A name is deep on a personal level but superficial when it comes to connecting with others. Your family are the people you love, including some who may share the same surname, but certainly not limited to that group. And names can easily be changed, while the person who carries that name remains the same.

We’ve had a few moments since having children where eyebrows were raised that I had a different last name. Most times a quick “we’re married, I didn’t change my name,” is enough to clear up any confusion. If needed, we have miniature, laminated copies of our marriage license. It’s not a big deal to most people.

I still answer socially to Mrs. hislastname and I don’t mind if I’m called that by others or receive letters addressed to that name. I’ve even said that if the name thing ever became an issue, I’d change my name if the situation required it. But for now my legal name is the same name I was born with, and there are no serious objections (from those who matter) to make any changes to that.

I never expected that a kindergartener would suddenly bring the issue to the forefront of our kids’ minds, especially in a school where there are so many families made up of different names, some married, some remarried, some not at all. Of all of the situations I imagined in my head, I never thought it would be the youngest generation making sweeping statements about what defines a family.

Mira was shaken by the declaration from her friend. She knows I have a different last name – which also happens to be her second middle name – and she’s never questioned it until now. I reassured her that we were just as much a family as any other family, and that having a different last name didn’t make me any less her mommy. My name may be different, but she still grew inside my belly.

She’s going back to school today certain that we are a family, and ready to tell her friend that whether you change your name or not doesn’t define how strong of a family you are. A woman changing her name or not is a personal decision that in no way reflects on the love she has for her family or her dedication to that family. Love bonds families together, not names.

Filed Under: being a mom, big issues, love, other people's kids, school ·

Dec 10, 2012

Our Life As Seen Through Holiday Decorations (& Giveaway!)

By Christina ·

Shortly after Thanksgiving, as soon as Aaron felt well enough after the flu, we pulled out the holiday decorations and set up the Christmas tree. I love that we always decorate the tree as a family, with everyone involved in dressing it up with garland and ornaments.

Our tree’s ornaments are an ever-evolving group, which started originally with ornaments from when I was younger. You could say it’s one big geek tree. My mom used to buy me a new ornament every year, usually a Star Trek or Star Wars ornament. I then added some Disney ornaments to it in my early 20’s.

The Next Gen Enterprise – one of my favorites from high school

Once Aaron joined the family, my mom picked up on his interests (comic books and superheroes) and went to Hallmark for a new superhero ornament every year. This was one of the first she gave him:

flying near the top of the tree, of course

There are plenty of other sentimental ornaments on the tree, too. There’s the Siamese cat that reminds me of our first Siamese. And the Irish dancer glass ornament from when I used to dance. This is one we bought at Walt Disney World when we were on our honeymoon, nearly ten years ago:

As soon as Cordy and Mira were old enough, we began taking them to Hallmark to pick out a new Keepsake ornament each year as well. It’s so much fun to open the box of tree decorations and see a visual history of our daughters’ interests by what they picked for their special ornaments at different ages.

This year, the store was full of possibilities. So many different ornaments that they liked, but our limit was one each. They walked back and forth considering the possibilities for nearly 15 minutes before making their choices.

So. many. choices!

For Mira, it was Rapunzel from Tangled. She loves the Disney Princesses at the moment. For Cordy, it was Snoopy, since it reminded her of our trips to Cedar Point this year.

My mom has already picked out two for Aaron this year, although he doesn’t know what they are yet, so I can’t share here. But Hallmark also sent us an ornament for him, too:

Thor’s mighty hammer will crush any tree invaders!

This is one of three Avengers ornaments that come with bases that can join together for a tabletop display. Thor is now joining his superhero friends on the great geek tree, near Iron Man and the Hulk.

Beyond the Christmas tree, Hallmark also sent us a gift for the kids. (Mira, really.) Meet Christopher, one of the Interactive Story Buddies:

He’s not just a stuffed animal that accompanies a storybook. Inside that plush covering is a smart little electronic box that not only lets Christopher speak, but is programmed to listen to you for certain phrases and then respond, as if he’s listening to the story and can’t help but chime in. Just like your kids do when you’re reading a story they already know.

I have to admit, this is a super-cute idea. Mira adores this bear, and his book, Christopher Can’t Sleep!, is a favorite request for her bedtime story. I’m amazed at how well he recognizes the trigger phrases to respond to when I’m reading the book. (The phrases he responds to are a different color in the book, so you know when to speak clearly and not skip a word, like I sometimes do when trying to hurry through a book.)

He’s not a one-trick bear, either. Besides the book and respond-along CD that come with Christopher, Hallmark already has other interactive books that he interacts with, and there’s an iPod/iPad app for him, too. He’s one of several different Interactive Story Buddies, each with their own theme and books to go with them. You can check them out at Hallmark’s website or in stores.

Giveaway!

Hallmark is giving one lucky reader a Thor ornament to start (or continue) your geek tree, as well as Christopher, the Interactive Story Buddy! To enter, please use the Rafflecopter widget below. Giveaway is open until the end of Saturday, December 15.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Full disclosure: I received the two products mentioned above from Hallmark for review. All opinions are my own, including my belief that the best ornament ever was the Star Trek Shuttlecraft Galileo with Spock’s voice wishing us a happy holidays. And yes, I have that on our tree, too:

After 20 years, it still lights up and talks. A testament to a true keepsake ornament.

Filed Under: family time, holidays, memories, pop culture, reviews ·

Dec 7, 2012

A Love Letter To A Dog

By Christina ·

It was just over a year ago that our family visited the local shelter for their Mingle with the Mutts event. It’s a chance to see the dogs that the shelter has for adoption, and local rescue groups are given space to bring their dogs as well.

Until that point we were strictly a cat family. Our Siamese cats acted like dogs, anyway. But the thought of adding a dog to the family had been growing, helped by professionals telling us that a dog could be good therapy for Cordy, and a good way to teach responsibility for both kids. I spent some evenings staring at Petfinder, and this one sad-eyed puppy face kept popping up on my screen with every search.

The wrinkled brow and those floppy ears got me.

It was at Mingle with the Mutts that we first met Cosmo. He was late to the party, and all four of us had already found (separate) dogs we were in love with. When we met the little pup who connected with my heart online, I thought…maybe this dog is a little too crazy for us.

Unlike some of the other puppies at the event, he was all over the place, pulling hard at the leash and trying to lick every face he could get to. His energy was tremendous. And Cordy loved him at first sight.

Places to go, people to sniff…

Even though I was concerned about his energy, and Aaron really liked another dog we saw, we arranged for Cosmo to come over for a home visit. He was still bursting with puppy energy and at that visit we learned the finer points of puppy-proofing as he sniffed out and ate three crayons while he was here. (He still has a supernatural ability to find – and eat – lost crayons.) We were convinced we wouldn’t be approved to adopt based on that incident, and there were also other families who had put in applications to adopt him.

Somehow, they thought it was a good fit and we received an email saying we were approved. Just before Christmas, our first dog joined the family and we began adjusting to life with a dog.

It hasn’t been easy. Cosmo had mastered many of his puppy manners, thank goodness – he was housebroken and crate trained and knew a few commands. But he was still a five month old puppy, and a puppy who had been found on the streets nearly starved to death. The puppy we met at 25 pounds was 40 pounds when he came to live with us and 60 pounds a month later. He’s now over 90 pounds and still considers himself a lap dog.

He’s chewed up pillows and blankets. The kids have learned that all stuffed animals and small toys must be kept off the floor or he will chew them. Despite my original plan that he wouldn’t be allowed on the furniture, he has claimed the couches and can often be found stretched out asleep on them. And he still tries to lick our faces.

But after a year, I can’t imagine life without him. He’s so patient with the kids, even if they handle him too rough occasionally. He’s helped provide a new source of love for Cordy – she can turn to him for comfort when the human world is too overwhelming, and he’s right there to accept her love.

He’s given Mira a purpose, and she happily accepts the responsibility of feeding him and letting him in and out. He even listens to Mira when she issues commands, which is impressive when you consider he’s twice her weight.

Future dog whisperer?

While I work during the day, Cosmo often sits next to me and rests his head on my arm. If anyone is down or sick, he’s right there beside them. He’s always ready for a game of fetch or a walk, and when we’re happy he absorbs that feeling and acts like that puppy we first met.

I should add that the cats have not been forgotten. They all get along relatively well. Dante, our older Siamese, is particularly fond of him.

I’ve also never had cleaner kitchen floors in my life. That dog lets no crumb remain on the floor.

Cosmo has also earned his keep as a fantastic guard dog. He barks at any outside threat (real or imagined…seriously, Cosmo, the squirrels are NOT a threat to us) and is the absolute best solution for getting door-to-door salesmen to accept “no thanks” the first time I say it.

He’s never been aggressive to any visitor to our house – he follows our cue that if we’re friendly with someone, he should be, too – but the occasional growl I hear from him when I’m nervous about a situation reassures me that if there ever was a real danger, he would try to protect us.

Standing, er, resting guard on the couch.

He’s an absolute goof who usually wants nothing more than to please us and maybe get a few belly rubs. He can get in the way or be a bit of a punk at times, but overall his needs are so small. He asks very little from us and provides so much love in return.

After a year of having Cosmo in our lives, I can say with certainty now that I’m so happy we got a dog, and that we got this dog. I am a dog person now, and our family is better for having him with us.

I utterly love this silly mutt.