I’m in Dallas now, and I can confirm I still hate flying. I tried to play it cool when I got on the plane – sat down, pulled out my knitting, and looked like I did this all the time. Too bad I blew my cover after liftoff, when I started practicing Lamaze breathing (wow, I guess I did finally get to use it), and grabbed the arm of the (amazingly understanding) older gentleman when we were hitting some bumps. Yeah, it was clear at that point that I was a fraidy-cat.

My lamaze breathing and panic continued until we reached cruising altitude and they pulled out the drink cart. At that point I was begging for them to hurry up and get to me. One travel bottle of chardonnay and three Advil later, I felt a little more relaxed. The dynamic duo – advil and alcohol – once again saves the day. I even mostly finished the knitting project I was working on. Anyone going to BlogHer who can loan me a Xanax for the ride home?

Some questions about flying: why is the pilot the one who gives you all sorts of details about your destination? Shouldn’t she be the one focused on flying the plane? Also, what’s up with the contortionist device they call a lavatory? Thanks to the alcohol, I had to pee while on the plane, so I had to maneuver myself into that broom closet. Wait, I think broom closets are bigger.

And Dallas is so far unimpressive. (No offence to anyone who lives here – unless you live in the airport.) It’s 100 degrees outside, for starters, so getting anywhere close to an outside door bakes you slightly. And while Columbus was a free wi-fi area, Dallas charges for the service. It is interesting how every sign in the airport is in both English and Spanish, though. I’m learning a little Spanish while I’m here.

I will repeat the medicinal combo for the second flight today. Maybe it will help me rest a little. Going across two time zones is bound to screw me up, and I’m already tired from getting little sleep the last two nights. I’ll get into San Jose around 6pm, get to the hotel hopefully by 7pm, where everyone will want to hang out. 7pm is 10pm for me, and I’m usually heading for bed by 11pm. If I can just stay up tonight, I’m sure I can get myself on track for pacific time.

I’m now at the Columbus airport, waiting for my first flight. I managed to keep down a light lunch, and I am mentally rehearsing getting on the plane every five minutes or so.

(Stand up, get in line, hand them the boarding pass, walk onto the plane. Stand up, get in line, panic and run away…no, wait, hand them the boarding pass, walk onto the plane.)

My mother is watching Cordy today, and she also dropped me off at the airport. I took a pic of Cordy and I in the backseat of the car. Saying goodbye to the warrior princess was probably the hardest goodbye I’ve ever done. I cried, I hugged her, I held her hand in the car. She responded by picking up her Blue’s Clues toy, hugging it, and saying “Awwww…itza Blue!” Thanks kid, good to know where your loyalties lie.

I’ve left her before, but usually only for one or two nights, and Aaron was with me. This time I’m all on my own, and I’m going to be much further away. I can’t get to her right away if I’m needed.

I’ve also made a fool of myself in the airport already. I haven’t been on a plane in 10 years – a lot of things have changed since then. For one, it was weird to not hand my luggage to the people at the counter, but to take it to the TSA people and hand it over to be searched while I continued on. I also didn’t realize what going through the security checkpoint was like. I had to give them my purse, my laptop bag, my laptop (YES! I have a laptop for the weekend! It wasn’t an ideal situation for us, but we put it on a credit card. Anyother 3 years of debt isn’t that much more, right?), and then they asked me to take my shoes off. Shoes? Yep. I’m wearing sandals, so I felt a little odd walking through security barefoot.

So, I will get on the plane, and I will hopefully update when I get to Dallas. One more big thank you to everyone for your support after we were robbed. It is a very sucky situation, but deciding to head to BlogHer will help me with getting my life back to normal. So thanks – you’re all awesome, and I wish all of you could be at the conference!

Now I must go pee before the plane is here. There’s no way I’ll be able to manuver into one of those airplane bathrooms.

I’m currently sitting on my couch watching my daughter dance to Blue’s Clues. I know I need to finish packing, and I will soon. I’ll be leaving for the airport in 2 hours.

I had wanted to show up in San Jose looked polished, poised, and ready to party hard. Sadly, with the way the past two days have gone, I will show up looking disheveled, stressed and tired. I’ve barely slept the past two nights, so I have a sleep deficit of a size I haven’t seen since Cordy was much younger. I’m going to have fun, and I’m going to enjoy myself. I just may need to skip one of tomorrow morning’s sessions to catch a little extra sleep.

The issue of flying is hitting me hard right now. I really wish we had health insurance this week so I could ask my doctor for a Xanax for the flight. (Our health insurance is back as of Aug. 1.) I woke up this morning feeling sick to my stomach. I know I’m not sick, because this is how I feel anytime I fly. Whenever I’m nervous, scared, or stressed, I always feel like I’m about to vomit. And flying makes me more nervous than anything. It’s been 10 years since I last stepped on a plane, and I’ll happily go another 10 years without being on a plane after this. It’ll all be fine as soon as we land in San Jose, because then I’ll only feel excitement.

And I’m going to miss Aaron and Cordy. This is my first time away from both of them at the same time. Aaron is a great dad, and I know he’ll keep Cordy entertained all weekend, and hopefully keep her distracted from wondering where I am. I’m so lucky to have them both.

Well, time to get packing. Depending on time and internet options, I’ll try to give updates from the airports.

Now that I’ve calmed down a little (still trying to figure out how to deal with the $1000 deductible for our homeowners insurance, and worrying that they won’t give us the full value of each item), I can reflect on what has happened in the past 24 hours.

First, it’s quite possible our thieves are reading this blog. After all, my blog is the first bookmark in my browser. If you are reading this – we have your blood, dumbass, and the police are working on extracting DNA to catch you. Next time you want to rob someone, pick someone with more money who won’t miss their stuff as much. We’re too poor to simply let it go.

Next, it’s interesting to see what was left behind. Clearly they only left with what they could carry, which is why my hulking desktop computer is still here. But for once I can finally claim that being a slob has its benefits. Thanks to our incredibly messy house (which was particularly messy this week – after all, we didn’t realize we’d be having guests over to steal our stuff), they missed some valuable items.

The gorgeous necklace from Blend Creations I got for my birthday? Buried under a pile of stuffed animals in my nightstand drawer, that they rummaged through but didn’t get past the stuffed animals. The digital camera? Sitting right out in the open on our table, although flanked on all sides by clothing, papers, and other clutter, making it more obscure. My iPod? Sitting on the tray table in plain sight, right next to the window they broke to get in. But also surrounded by clutter, and so easily missed. So to all of my family, who criticize the mess we call our house, I say: See? Clutter can be a good thing! And now I’m less inclined to ever clean it up!

I also learned that either they were interrupted in their looting spree, or to thieves we have lousy taste in movies. Our DVDs are on a set of shelves, and we keep them in order. But the thieves had taken them off the shelves, and had sorted through them, but didn’t take a single one! Is our taste that bad? Surely if you’d just give Strictly Ballroom or The Princess Bride a chance, you might like them!

One of the scariest moments was when I walked in the door and wondered where the cats were. Luckily, we found all three, although Kit, who is usually the most outgoing of the three, was scared out of his fur. He’s still not quite back to normal yet.

Cordy was less than pleased with the turn of events, either. She was kept from her normal evening routine, and was. not. happy. You know, in the screaming, crying, thrashing kind of way. She wasn’t allowed to touch anything until the police dusted for fingerprints, she wasn’t allowed on the carpet due to all of the broken glass, and thanks to cables being ripped out in a hurry, the TV was not available. So no Oobi, and no playtime. Although she was perceptive to notice the hole in the window: “Owtsiiide!” “Yes, Cordy, there is now a hole to the outside.”

This has also not been a good week for other relatives as well. On Saturday, Aaron’s younger brother came home from work late at night, and was then robbed at gunpoint as he got out of his car. Not only did they steal his money, they tied him up and took him hostage in his own car for several hours. He had no cash on him, so they took him to the ATM to get money (they could only get $200 a day at the ATM), and then drove around until it was after midnight to get another $200. The things they said to him were simply surreal. He has a blog, but I can’t link to the entry because it’s protected, but trust me, it was a scary experience. I’m so glad he wasn’t hurt.

I called our insurance this morning, who took down my name and address (shouldn’t they already have that?) and said someone would get back to me in the next 24 hours. Which is the same thing they after-hours person said to Aaron last night. It’s early, but I’m already beginning to think our insurance doesn’t give a damn about helping us out.

The window is sort-of replaced. It was a double pane window, so they’ve ordered the window and put in a single pane for now. $320 for that bit of damage. Aaron’s parents came over last night and helped us clean up some of the glass, as well as helped occupy Cordy. I’m so thankful they were able to come help us.

Oh, and in cleaning up the glass we found what they used to break the window:

Yeah, you’d better believe that we’re keeping this rock. After all, it’s a damn expensive rock. Might even give it a special place of (dis)honor on the bookshelf.

Thank you all for your support. I love blogging for the community it provides, and you’ve all been a big emotional support for me. I’ve had my car broken into more than once, and while it was a pain, it wasn’t that big of a deal. This, on the other hand, has sent me into an emotional tailspin, and I’m still trying to come to terms with it all. So thank you for the kind comments you’ve left. You have no idea how much it means to me.

We were robbed.

I can’t think of any clever ways to say it right now, and I really need to vent, so it’s going to come out exactly how I’m feeling: We were fucking robbed.

Aaron came home tonight after picking up Cordy to find our house ransacked. A rock had been thrown through our living room window (in the back of the house), and they had their pick of all sorts of goodies.

We’re still trying to figure out what was taken, but here’s the short list:

– Aaron’s laptop computer
– My BRAND-NEW-BOUGHT-FOR-BLOGHER laptop that arrived less than a week ago
– All of the peripherals for both laptops
– A laptop bag, to carry out the laptops, of course
– Our PlayStation 2, which also doubled as our DVD player
– All of the PS2 games we owned (don’t really care about those)
– Several pieces of jewelry

Before you say it, yes, I know we’re lucky that we weren’t home, and we’re all safe. We’re very blessed in that regard. But with our financial problems this month, this is the last thing I wanted to deal with. We have no money at the moment, and I get paid Friday, but it’s not much. Aaron’s first paycheck doesn’t come until Aug. 4. I have been eBaying things around the house to make a little extra money. (OK, and to just get them out of our house, too.)

My new laptop was going to be featured tomorrow in the blog. I was going to tell you all how wonderful it was, and how it will help me blog better than my clunky, ancient desktop computer (which the thieves didn’t take). It was faster, had awesome software, and was so lightweight. I was preparing it for Blogher – loading up music to listen to, pictures of Cordy to show everyone, and anything I might need for blogging the conference. It had a media card reader to make photo transfer from my digital camera easier. It cost a lot, but my mom was helping me out with it, since she knew I really wanted to blog at the conference. I haven’t even mailed the rebates in yet. But now I have a huge credit card bill for a product I don’t even have use of, and don’t get to take to Blogher.

The jewelry taken hasn’t been fully inventoried yet. We think they stole my engagement ring, which is a very sad thought. They also took my sapphire and pearl ring. My mother and I each received one during Christmas 2004 – Cordy’s first Christmas. The pearl is my mother’s and my birthstone, and the sapphire is Cordy’s and my grandmother’s birthstone. Both rings had sentimental meaning to me, far beyond their costs.

Aaron’s laptop had a lot of files that will be difficult to replace. Including the completed novel he wrote last year (we do still have one paper copy), and the novel he was working on recently.

I can’t stop crying this evening. I feel so angry, but I also feel naked and vulnerable. These thieves not only took away expensive stuff, but they took away any feelings of security I had. I don’t feel safe in my own house now. The window is being replaced as we speak, but I don’t know if I’ll even be able to sleep tonight. I’m too scared they will come back.

It is just stuff. It can be replaced, and we do have insurance. But we also have a large deductible that we will have to get past first. Which means even if it is all replaced, we’ll still be at least $1000 behind where we currently are, which is still behind where we need to be. $1000 – that’s a monthly mortgage payment. The credit cards are pretty high right now, so we can’t finance any replacement items on those.

I’m sick at the thought of some asshole breaking into our house and going through our stuff. They were in all of the rooms of our house. They even went into Cordy’s room and knocked books off her bookshelf and went through all of her things. Who the hell robs from a baby? I feel so weirded out that this person or these people went though all of our things. They went through my nightstand, with all of my personal belongings. They went through my desk, with receipts and all sorts of materials to steal personal identity information from. It’s possible they stole a credit card, too. I’m still looking for it.

I nearly decided that I wasn’t going to Blogher. Our house is in shambles, our life on hold while we try to figure out what’s missing and what these people have taken from our lives. I’m terrified of leaving Aaron and Cordy in the house, afraid these delinquents will come back and hurt them. How can I party now? But the flight was paid for months ago, and I know I can’t let the thieves take away dreams I’ve had of meeting everyone as well.

So I will still be going to Blogher. But I will have no laptop with me to blog the experience. And I’ll be calling home more often than I had planned, to make sure everyone is alright.

Damn, damn, damn. This just isn’t how it was supposed to work out. And I can’t stop crying.

Update: I just realized that our video camera is gone as well. Along with all of the video we’ve shot of Cordy. I can deal with not having the video camera, but I wish they would have left me the tapes instead of the battery charger.