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Feb 12, 2008

The No Good, Very Bad Day

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So far today:

– I walked outside yesterday to get the mail and discovered a flat tire on the SUV. The tires are only two months old. Took the car in this morning, meaning I’m without a car for the day. I hope the leak can be plugged, because I really don’t want to buy another new tire.

– While getting Mira out of her crib for her overnight bottle, I notice my nightshirt is suddenly warm and wet. Then notice she’s wet. Then check and find the entire crib wet. Change the leaky diaper, her sleeper, the sheets, and my shirt before putting her back to bed. (No, she didn’t get a bath before I put her back to bed. Call me a bad mother all you want – at least I’m a bad mother who got a little bit of sleep.)

– Wake up again to find Aaron standing beside the bed telling me to go downstairs and watch Cordy because he can’t stand to be near her at the moment. Find out that she knocked his computer off the couch (while he was trying to get her to stop jumping on the couch), and now it won’t start up again.

– Aaron calls tech support, who walks him through dismantling half of the laptop to diagnose the problem. With every non-essential piece spread out across the table, we find out it still won’t work. The motherboard is possibly fried, and the in-home support tech may not be here until tomorrow.

– Cordy didn’t have school yesterday because of a teacher training day. Today?


Snow day. (You’d swear we lived in the south – this warrants a day off?) So no school again, and she’s starting to go manic. And I’m starting to consider if cocktails at noon is such a bad thing.

– Mira is also cutting one of her top teeth. She’s Cranky McCranker-Pants today. And she’s stepped up her attempts to eat all the paper, hair and carpet fuzz she can find.

– Just a few minutes ago, Cordy went up to her room to play, and I heard a *thunk*…*thunk* coming from her room. Walked in to find her in the glider, rocking it hard enough to slam it into the wall, forming a lovely dent in the wall. At least I caught her before it progressed to a full hole in the wall.

Can I get a break, please? Surely all of this is building up some good karma for something, right?

PS – It’s only 10:45 am.

Filed Under: Cordy, daily life, Mira, rant, snow ·


Feb 8, 2008

Haiku Friday: A Hair-Do

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Cordy’s new breakthrough:
Her hair is OK to touch
Without a meltdown

Rubber bands and bows –
Ringlets cascading downward
She looks so girly



Cordy’s sensory issue with her hair has been a problem for over a year. Those gorgeous curls are always begging for attention, yet any attempt to touch them is met with screams and wails. This is especially a problem for distant family and strangers, who seem to be drawn to those Shirley Temple ringlets with a burning desire to pull one of those little golden springs.

Every time we wash her hair is a battle. While she likes to splash and play in the bath, she despises water on her head. And combing out her curls takes an entire episode of Bunnytown, since we have to distract her with TV to even have a chance at getting a comb near her. Sure, she has pretty hair, however, you wouldn’t want to be the one to care for it.

But this week we were greeted with a surprise when she came home from school on Monday. The hair on either side of her face was pulled up and secured with a ponytail holder. She now asks for bows in her hair, too. Who is this child? Where did she come from, and why is she asking me for bows?

Her teacher told me she’s been slowly working with Cordy to reduce the sensitivity, and as a result she will let us pull her hair up. Amazing.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below or at Jennifer’s blog with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). If you need help with this, contact Jennifer or myself.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

Filed Under: Autism, Cordy, Haiku Fridays ·


Feb 7, 2008

A Turning Point

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Quick quiz: How many months pregnant was I in this picture?


4 months? 5 months? 6 months?

Nope, all wrong. The answer is: I’m 8 months postpartum.

(Did I just lose subscribers over that? I think I heard someone click that unsubscribe button. It’s OK, I understand. I’ll spare you from the belly shot without clothing. The stretch marks alone would scare the rest of you away.)

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before making a change. And right now? This is me, hitting hard on the cold stone floor. And damn it hurts.

I know I said I wasn’t making any New Year’s Resolutions, and I’m not. But it’s time to admit that I’m really not happy with myself. I don’t like being overweight, I don’t like all of the extra curves on top of my curves, and I’m really sick of being asked, “So when are you due?”

I don’t always look like the picture above. I’m amazingly adept at sucking in my stomach and holding it all. day. long. But eventually I have to breathe, or I forget for a moment, and suddenly I look pregnant again. Even Spanx can’t hide it all.

Beyond the physical, my mental health is also suffering. I had depression when pregnant with Cordy, and I worried about developing PPD after Mira was born. I think I was too busy trying to deal with two kids early on to let myself feel down. Now I can feel the darkness quietly creeping in again, and I think it’s partially motivated by my unhappiness with my physical appearance.

So it’s time for a change, and that change can begin by asking myself: what do I really want? I want to be healthy, in body, mind and spirit. I want to eat better, get more exercise, and lose weight. I want to feel good about my body instead of ashamed of it.

And to be completely honest?

I want to be hot by BlogHer ’08.

OK, it’s a little shallow, I’ll admit. But I’ve been to the BlogHer conference twice now, and both times I felt like the “big girl” hanging out with all of the pretty girls. There’s a lot of gorgeous women in the blogging world.

This past year, I had an 8 week old excuse:

Mira’s first BlogHer, sleeping through the party

But the year before, there was no excuse:

BlogHer ’06: The year of the pasties

I wasn’t always this big. In fact, just five years ago I felt pretty good about how I looked. Amazing how having two kids and letting yourself go a little can wreck your appearance.

Our honeymoon: Florida, 2003

BlogHer ’08 is my goal date. I want to be hot by BlogHer ’08. And by “hot” I don’t necessarily mean skinny. Skinny isn’t going to happen – my body isn’t built that way. Instead, I’m setting realistic goals:

– I want to be at a healthier weight. I have no set number I must reach – that will only depress me. Instead, I’d like to see myself in a smaller clothing size (no particular size, just smaller), and not look like my uterus is currently under lease for another few months.

– I want to eat more natural foods, and less fat and fried foods. Mira has officially weaned as of this week, so cutting back on calories isn’t a bad thing. I can’t eat like a breastfeeding woman anymore. More fruits, veggies, and water, and more emphasis on portion control. I’m not giving up the foods I love, but I will remind myself that there is no threat to the world’s chocolate supply, so I don’t need to eat it like it’ll all disappear tomorrow.

– I want to enjoy exercise again. There was a time I actually liked exercising (or liked it as much as a sane person can really like exercise). I was happy to see the changes it caused and marveled at what my body could do. But I need to find a form of exercise I like enough to do more than once.

– I want to be satisfied with what I see in the mirror. This is quite an undertaking, because it will involve mental as well as physical change. I need to start working with my body instead of against it, thinking of it only as a shell I wish I didn’t have to lug around with me.

– I want to be happier with my life, giving off waves of self-confidence and satisfaction. While times are tough for us in some ways, I have a lot of good things happening right now. It’s time to focus on what makes me happy and not on the things I’m unhappy about but can’t change.

Yes, I know there are far better reasons to want to be healthier: living longer, setting a good example for my daughters, and a lowered risk of heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. I want all of those, too, but it’s hard to get motivated by those long-term reasons.

But – hot by BlogHer? (I love that phrase. I swear I’m going to make a button for that.) That’s a goal in the near future I can work towards.

I’m ready. I’m motivated. I’m determined.

Can I do it?

I think I can.

(Anyone want to join me?)

Coming up soon: Specific plans, a full round of starting pictures, my past history with my weight, and detailing how I’m going to keep myself accountable by blogging.

UPDATE! We now have a button, thanks to the design mastery of Mother Bumper! Feel free to add it to your blog (but link back here so people know what you’re talking about, m’kay?).

HotByBlogher

Filed Under: BlogHer08, me me me · Tagged:


Feb 6, 2008

Who Really Cares About Seventeen Anyway?

By ·

“OK Cordy, what comes after thirteen?”

“Fourteen!”

“And what comes after fourteen?”

“Fifteen!”

“Good! Now Cordy, what comes after fifteen?”

“Sixteen!”

“And what comes after sixteen?”

“A bunch of bigger numbers!”

Filed Under: Cordy, kid logic ·


Feb 5, 2008

There’s No Such Thing As Equal With Siblings

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I was an only child, so I never had to deal with some of the issues siblings have to deal with. For example, I was the one in all the pictures. I never had to worry about having my firsts remembered because I was the only baby.

Some friends warned me that second children get shorted when it comes to stuff like photographs and baby books. OK, so Mira’s baby book is still sitting on the shelf, with only about a page worth of stuff filled it, but at least I bought one, right? I can still go back and fill it in, even if I have to make up some of the dates.

But on the topic of photographs, I figured I was winning. I’ve become more camera happy as time has gone on, and looking through my records, I think I have more pictures of Mira as a baby then I ever did of Cordy at this age. So while everything isn’t equal, I’ve compensated where I can.

And then my mom asked me this weekend, “When are you going to get some studio photos of Mira? I’d like some nice pictures to frame and put in my wallet.”

Oh yeah. Forgot about those.

Cordy had a lot of studio time in her first year. Thanks to all of the coupons for free sitting fees and free photos from the local portrait studios (LOTS of free coupons), we took her for pictures nearly every month. I was young, I was foolish with money, and I wanted to preserve every tiny change as she grew. By the time she was nearing 12 months old, she was a pro at posing for pictures.


But Mira? Well, there was the hospital photo…and I took her to Target once at three months old for some photos that didn’t turn out all that good because she cried a lot…but that’s it.

So on Sunday afternoon I trudged out with Mira to make sure the grandparents, great-grandparents, and all of the other relatives who have been hinting that they want new pictures would be happy with new photos to display on their mantle. Honestly, how can you say no to family members who simply want to show off pictures of your adorable children to all of their friends?

The results weren’t bad:


The reason she’s smiling for the camera in these pictures was due to the herculean efforts of her mother as I danced around, made faces and goofy sounds, and provided enough entertainment to cause other people walking by stop and stare into the room to figure out what all the commotion was.

You may be asking: But where is that serious baby with the icy stare we all know? No worries, folks. She gave the photographer (and me) the evil eye plenty of times.

So. not. amused.

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Filed Under: Mira ·