The Story of Miranda, Part 1

Two short years ago, it was Saturday and I was massively pregnant. My due date of May 21 had come and gone, with still no signs of labor. Since I was past due, I was being checked by my doctor every other day. That entire week was tense: lots of “still not really dilated yet” and “are you sure you don’t want to go for a c-section?” from my doctor, along with the reminders of “we can only wait so long” and “remember you can’t be induced” to add to my stress.

I knew well that I couldn’t be induced. Cordy had been a c-section due to a complicated breech presentation, and I was determined to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) this time. My doctor was completely on-board with the idea, as long as it fit the guidelines: no pregnancy complications, no breech, and no trying if I hit the 42 week mark. Of course, I couldn’t be induced or have labor sped up either due to the risk of uterine rupture, so I was responsible for going into labor and keeping it going on my own. It was a long list of caveats, but I was still determined to go for it.

My entire plan nearly derailed when I was 32 weeks pregnant. The baby flipped into a breech position and I immediately went to work to convince her that head down was the more popular choice. I went to a chiropractor for the Webster Technique – a pressure-point exercise that is supposed to help babies turn – and at home I spent many evenings with my head on the floor and my butt on the couch with a bag of frozen peas placed on the top of my belly, encouraging her to flip. She hated the cold peas – I could feel her squirming away from them. But it worked – by 36 weeks she was head-down again.

But I still had to go into labor on my own. And by Saturday, May 26 – nearly a week after my due date – there were still no signs of labor. A non-stress test done the day before was completely normal, and thankfully the baby was surrounded by plenty of amniotic fluid, so my doctor signed off on letting me continue to be pregnant. My birth plan was written, the doctor OK’d it, and the hospital already had a copy. All we were waiting for was the baby.

I remember it was hot that day. Really hot. It was Memorial Day weekend and we couldn’t go out of town in case I went into labor. Aaron was restless and suggested we go downtown to the convention center. Marcon (sci-fi/fantasy convention) was going on, and he wanted to at least walk through it. We put Cordy in the stroller and walked through the (blissfully!) air-conditioned convention hall. Then Aaron remembered the Zombie Walk was being held nearby at Goodale Park, and asked if we could walk over to see it. I said sure, hoping that all this walking might convince a stubborn baby that she’s missing something exciting and needs to come out to see.

We walked up the (non-airconditioned) street to Goodale Park. There were hundreds of people gathered in the park, some already dressed as zombies with zombie make-up in place, others waiting for an available make-up artist to get a little help looking their zombie best. Aaron wanted to get involved, but we agreed that should I go into labor, a zombie daddy might not be the best look at the hospital. Once everyone was gathered and ready to do their zombie shuffle down High Street, we decided to leave. We were walking down one side of High Street as the zombies were staggering down the other side. It was fun to see, but I was sweating, uncomfortable, 10 months pregnant and pushing a heavy stroller, so we went home.

The entire way home, I felt miserable. The heat had been too much for me, and I had every A/C vent pointed towards me in the car. At home, I felt better, but I noticed the occasional cramping sensation. Aaron started dinner while I rested. By the time I finished eating dinner at 7pm, I noticed there was a pattern to the cramping. I was in labor! Aaron joked that the zombies were responsible for sending me into labor.

The contractions were every 4-6 minutes and felt like small cramps. Barely noticable at first. Since I never went into labor with Cordy, I had no idea what to expect. I was excited at this point, thinking we were finally reaching the end. I called my doula and told her to stand ready, and then went back to watching TV and timing the contractions. I also called my mom to come stay the night for Cordy.

The 4-6 minute pattern continued for several hours, but the intensity of the contractions increased. Now it was impossible to not notice them, but it was getting late and I was tired. My doula advised me to eat something and take a nap if at all possible. I did as she suggested and slept for a couple of hours before my contractions woke me at 1am.

At this point we called my doula and asked her to come over. The next few hours were spent practicing my breathing techniques while timing contractions and wishing it was over already. Contractions were now about 3 minutes apart and lasting over a minute. By 4am, I started trembling from the pain, and my doula suggested it might be time to go to the hospital. Trembling and unbearable pain can be a sign of transition in labor. Aaron called the doctor, I grabbed my iPod to try to focus on music, and we left for the hospital.

I still remember the song I focused on in the car at 4am on the way to the hospital. It was “Broken” by Seether and Amy Lee. I don’t know why, but that song was very soothing.

At the hospital, it took 20 minutes for me to get from the parking garage to labor & delivery because I had to stop every few minutes to weather another contraction. I was doing my best to look calm and pull inward, but inside I was screaming. Despite the pain, I was still thrilled to be going through labor this time, confident I could have a VBAC.

We got through the paperwork quickly and they settled me into a triage room. The nurse finally came to check my progression around 5:15am, and I expected to hear that I was nearly complete after 11 hours of labor, or at least pretty far along. What I was not prepared to hear?

“You’re not quite three centimeters yet. We can’t admit you until you’re a full three.”

Part two coming tomorrow, as I celebrate Mira turning two and wallow in my sadness of WHERE HAS MY LITTLE BABY GONE?



Haiku Friday: First Harvest

In just one short month
my garden experiment
has produced results

This brown thumb has now
somehow coaxed from the earth a
bunch of broccoli:


And those are just the
first of the season – more will
be coming later

My first garden is already a smashing success as far as I’m concerned. I love broccoli, and these were transplanted in mid-April to the fledgling garden. I didn’t expect to see results so quickly, but we had to take the heads off of each plant today to make room for the new stalks of broccoli growing underneath.

We also planted carrot, cucumber, and sunflower seeds today. I already planted sweet peppers, lettuce, and some herbs a few weeks ago, and I still need to plant zucchini and green beans. I don’t know if they’ll all be as successful as the broccoli that even I can’t kill, but I hope we’ll have plenty of our own veggies this summer.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!



Collecting Good Thoughts Here

The end of nursing school is now just weeks away, and the focus has shifted from exams and clinicals to job hunting. Unlike many parts of the country, there is no nursing shortage in Columbus. Plenty of nurses, fewer jobs as hospitals cut back, and a slew of new nurses coming out of the 8+ nursing schools around the city.

I went into nursing for a single reason: to work with new moms and babies. I’ve happily (and not-so-happily at times) endured my turn through all other areas of nursing, understanding that we need to have a basic knowledge of how different hospital areas function and getting a wide variety of clinical experiences.

But my mind has been set on working with moms and babies from the beginning. It’s why I started on this journey. It’s my calling, I guess you could say. Sure, some of my class aren’t picky about where they’ll work, but I’m nearly 33 – I know where I want to work, and I don’t want to waste time getting there.

I’ve applied for probably 10 jobs so far, all in labor & delivery units or NICUs. The biggest challenge is that I’m up against so many other applicants, several with experience. No one seems to want a nurse fresh out of school.

However, last Friday I had to complete the last of my clinical hours, choosing to shadow at a birth center in my hometown. My mother has worked at that hospital for over 30 years, and I thought it would be nice to see how a smaller hospital works. I had also noticed that they had job openings in the birth center, and I applied for a job as well.

It was a wonderful experience, and I really enjoyed how nice everyone was and how well the team worked together. The nurse manager answered all of my questions, and at the end of the day, she interviewed me for the open job. I think the interview went really well, even though it’s been four years since my last interview and I’m a little rusty.

She told me that she hopes to make a decision on the job by the end of this week. You can imagine that I’m crossing fingers, toes and eyes hoping to get this job. I liked the other nurses, I liked the nurse manager, and I think I’d love working there.

I believe in the power of positive thinking (OK, maybe not as far as The Secret believes it can go), and I need help here. If all of you can spare a few good thoughts, some positive energy, prayers, or whatever it is you do for me this week, I’d appreciate the help. I’m so anxious this week – I want that job. I think I’d be an asset for them.

It’s also time to see an end to the bad streak of luck we’ve had. Aaron’s one last freelance writing job – a job he hoped to see go full-time – ended abruptly last week in a rather unprofessional way (unprofessional on their end, not his), and I’m a little tired of being thrown under the Karma bus. I want some good news for once. And you’d probably rather read some good news, right?

Let’s hope I impressed them enough that I get to be the next new OB nurse at that hospital.



Reply Hazy, Shuffle Again

Am I the only person who uses her iPod as a Magic 8 Ball far too often?

Think about it: thousands of songs with meaningful titles loaded onto that little device. And a great shuffle feature.

How often have you pressed shuffle and had a song come on that you really, really needed to hear? Or one that so perfectly fit your mood, it’s like it was hand selected for you? Same principle, just applied a little more directly.

More than once I’ve had it with me while on my way to some important function, or been driving while anxious about some topic or another. Think about a question, hit the Shuffle button, and all is revealed:

Will Aaron get over this fight?

Shuffle – Won’t Go Home Without You (Maroon 5)

Whew.

Will these kids stop fighting with each other today, or should I abandon them in a cornfield? (Hush, you know I’d never do something like that!)

Shuffle – Keep Holding On (Avril Lavigne)

They should be happy it didn’t play Thnks Fr Th Mmrs (Fall Out Boy).

How should I spend the evening?

Shuffle – Drink the Night Away (Gaelic Storm)

I knew I loved you, iPod!

Will I get this job?

Shuffle – Pray (Once On This Island, musical)

Hmmm…is that good or bad?

Please, please, please let me pass this exam!

Shuffle – Boulevard of Broken Dreams (Green Day)

Oh shit.

It doesn’t always work out so smoothly. Today I asked if the car would keep running, and it replied with Legal Assassin from the movie Repo! The Genetic Opera. Um…is someone going to assassinate my car? WTF does that mean?

These are the times when interpretation must come into play. No simple “Reply hazy, try again” answers here. That means I often skip to the next song until I get something that matches up with the question at hand a little better. In the question of my car, I got to Daughtry’s Breakdown, then decided that I probably shouldn’t have asked to begin with.

OK, maybe I am a little crazy to look to my iPod for advice. Like a Magic 8 Ball, it’s all random chance, even if my old Magic 8 Ball did have a scary-high percentage of accuracy.

iPod, will my readers flee after reading this?

Shuffle – The Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room – WHA? Hmmm, try again?

Shuffle again – Sympathy-Tenderness (Jekyll & Hyde the musical)

Oh, I hope you’re right…



Haiku Friday: Nearly Done

An accomplishment:
one hundred twenty eight long
hours are complete.

My clinical time
for my final quarter is
done – well, almost so.

Sixteen hours are
left to shadow in other
areas we like

Today, I will spend
eight hours in a place I
love: a birth center

For my final eight,
I’m hoping to observe on
a NICU unit

Graduation is less than a month away, and I’m finished with the bulk of my clinical hours, or at least all the hours that require me to jump in and do something. I’m a little bummed that I have to be completely hands-off for my shadowing experiences, but I understand why.

Today I’ll be at a small hospital observing their labor, delivery and postpartum unit. It’s actually the hospital in my hometown, a hospital my mom worked and still works at, and a place I spent a lot of time at as a child. I’m excited to not only be visiting an area I’d like to work in, but also my hometown hospital.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!

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