Christina, Author at A Mommy Story

Jan 14, 2010

A New Year, A New Blog, A New Weight

Last year I found myself depressed by my weight, wanting to do something about it before going to BlogHer in July. Thankfully, I wasn’t alone, and several others banded together to support each other in our efforts to shape up and feel good about ourselves in 2009. I did it by my Hot by BlogHer challenge, and by joining up with the Shredheads.

Overall, I lost 20 pounds last year before BlogHer – not a bad effort for five months! I felt so much better about myself, too. But after BlogHer, I came home to a new full-time job, with new full-time exhaustion, and most of my exercise habits slipped away as sleeping became my top priority. I kept some of my eating habits, but I’ll admit even those suffered when your job doesn’t give you a set lunch break and you have to grab something on the go most of the time.

So of course, when the new year started, I knew I wanted to get back on track again. I don’t have as much leisure time to exercise when I want anymore, but I know I’ve got more weight to lose and I want to get motivated again. Hence, this new blog: Losing My Hind. I could have gone back to Hot by BlogHer (and may bring that up as a challenge again), but I wanted a blog that didn’t have a time limit, so I could use it year round.

Thankfully, I’m still not alone in my goals. The Shredheads are going strong, and Loser Moms just gave me an ideal jump start: they’re having a Biggest Loser challenge, where $$$ is on the line for the winners. Sure, a smaller dress size is a great motivator, but a little cash to buy new dresses is a powerful motivator as well!

Yesterday I began the Loser Moms challenge, which involved my first weigh-in. I hadn’t stepped on the scale for awhile, and was worried I’d crept back over 200 – something I vowed to never do again. The scale gave me my starting number:

193.6. Woo-hoo! I already feel like I’ve won, considering my lowest weight last year was 192 pounds. Sure, I haven’t lost anything since BlogHer, but it means I really haven’t gained, either. I’m hoping to lose at least another 20 pounds this year before BlogHer, and hopefully at least 10 for the Loser Moms challenge.

This time, working a full schedule (on nights, no less: 7pm-7am is murder on your metabolism and circadian rhythms) will make it difficult to do a structured, formal weight-loss program. Weight Watchers was great, and I still believe it works well, but I need even less to think about at the moment. Instead, I’ll focus on smaller portions, less processed foods, and lots of whole grains, vegetables and water. Exercise will be sporadic on my days off, although some nights at work could probably count for exercise.

I’m ready – let’s do this!

Filed Under: weigh-in · Tagged: the plan

Jan 12, 2010

2010: Now This Is More Like It

By Christina ·

I wanted 2010 to be the year of everything awesome. And so far, it’s not too bad. In fact, today kind of feels as far from 2009 as it could possibly be.

After a year and a half of unemployment (aside from a four-month contract job), Aaron started a new job today. It’s only a three-month contract for now, but the plan is to hire him on as a full employee at the end of the contract. Basically, the contract is his trial period. His first day went well: the job is creative and challenging and his coworkers are friendly and welcoming. I’m hoping it works out and he’ll be happy with his work.

As a result of his new job, we had to juggle our childcare situation. Aaron will be working traditional office hours, and while I work nights, we still need someone to cover on the days when I’ve worked and need to sleep. Cordy’s in school full-time, but Mira had only been in preschool two half-days a week.

So today Mira went back to her school, but into a new classroom. She’s attending three full days a week now, giving me a chance to sleep more, and giving Mira what she wants – the chance to spend more time at school. (The other days will be covered by a friend and family.) At two-and-a-half, Cordy hated being outside of the house, and would have fought going to preschool each day. But Mira, our little socialite, loves school and would complain when we picked her up each day.

I worried that a full day schedule might be too much, even for Mira, but when I picked her up at 5:15pm, she responded to seeing me with, “I don’t wanna go home.” Apparently she had a fantastic day, and is thrilled to go back again tomorrow. All is well with the changes in her schedule.

OK, nothing much has changed for Cordy. Other than she will now be sent home with homework starting this week. Homework? In pre-K? School has changed a lot since I was a kid.

As for myself, I’ve got a few days off right now and I’m finding myself happy to be more involved in directly caring for my girls again. Since starting work, I’ve been on the periphery at home, with Aaron taking on the bulk of childcare while I have waffled back and forth between being a day walker and a child of the night. Adjusting my schedule back and forth is terribly hard, leaving me feeling like a shell of myself at home with my family.

But with Aaron working now, I have to step up and force myself to be more involved again – and I like it. I like being the one preparing lunch, doing the school drop-off routine, reading with Cordy, playing games with both girls, etc. I missed doing all of that. Well, maybe not all of it, but a lot of it. We’ll see how things go once I’m back to work later this week. I hope I’ll be able to find some inner strength to be everything to everyone without cracking.

Even our house got a little update today. Thanks to an awesome Black Friday deal, we got a new microwave. Our current one is on a little stand taking up way too much room, and I wanted something above-the-range so I could replace that little stand with a pantry. Today, part one of that plan was accomplished:

Before:

Um, yeah, ignore the mess around the range.

After:

Shiny! Pretty!

So yeah, let’s keep 2010 moving right along on this positive wave, OK?

Filed Under: Aaron, being a mom, daily life, family time, Mira, the J-O-B · Tagged: childcare

Jan 6, 2010

Guinea Pig, Part Two: For Reals This Time!

By Christina ·

Just before Christmas, Cordy finished the first ten week segment of the clinical research trial I took a gamble on earlier in the fall. The study offered us the chance at parent training in behavior modification and/or a medication that can help attention-deficit symptoms in children with autism. In our case, we were randomly selected for the medication-only group, not knowing if we had the actual medication or a placebo.

At the end of ten weeks, the results were less than encouraging. Cordy’s behavior was practically unchanged. Still unfocused. Still unstoppable energy. Still struggling to finish a task without becoming distracted. But there were a few small changes that showed a glimmer of hope. In that ten week period, she stopped hitting herself, and although she switched to verbally abusing herself instead, it was still an improvement. We also noticed a slight decrease in the amount of “flapping” she does, too.

So did we have the medication? If we had the medication, I felt it was a big, fat failure. I mean, I wasn’t expecting miracles in a pill. I knew it could help calm Cordy and help her focus so she could accomplish more, but I knew it wouldn’t turn her into a typical kid. But I was expecting a little more than a couple of stray behavior changes.

At our last meeting, the doctors in the study looked through all of the data and determined Cordy was a non-responder. As a result, the seal was broken to find out the truth: it was the placebo.

I was a little disappointed that I forced Cordy to go to weekly visits, endure two blood draws (not fun for anyone involved) and take a lot of pills for no benefit. But honestly, it wasn’t that bad. Cordy quickly loved going to “the office” as she called it. She loved “her work” and the student assistants who work there became her willing slaves. All of the staff have been incredibly kind to her. While at each meeting, she was given an unlimited supply of organic fruit snacks, animal crackers, juice, toys, markers and adoring fans. Hell, I kinda wish I got all that stuff instead of a big stack of papers to fill out each week.

But it doesn’t end there. That was just part one of the study. Knowing that she was on the placebo, we are now entering the open-label phase of the study, allowing her to start all over with the actual medication this time. (Those who were on the medication in phase one are allowed to continue on the medication for phase-two.) The dose will be increased ever-so-slowly and we’ll watch her closely for any improvements as well as any side-effects.

I’m back to being excited at the possibilities and yet again a little nervous about medicating my daughter. Only this time I know for certain it’s the real thing. We’ll see what happens.

To end on a cute note: I was told by Cordy’s teachers today that all of the boys in her class are in love with her. Not just love her – are actively IN LOVE with her. They’ve been back from winter break for just two days now, and apparently the boys pester Cordy all day with, “Do you still like me, Cordy?” She’s the queen of the classroom, with five little boys willing to do anything for her. I love that about her – despite her social difficulties, she has an aura that attracts people to her, even without trying or encouraging them in any way. It’s an amazing gift to have.

Filed Under: Autism, Cordy, love ·

Dec 31, 2009

Buh-Bye 2009 & A Look Ahead

By Christina ·

Another year, another decade, gone. Seems a lot of people are really glad to see 2009 on its last few hours. Me? Eh, I could take it or leave it. No matter how I look at it, it didn’t suck as much as 2008 did.

Sure, Aaron was still mostly unemployed for all of 2009. And the first half of the year was quite a struggle for us financially. Cordy had a roller-coaster of a summer with camp, and then broke a tooth and had to endure general anesthesia to fix it.

But there were several good things that happened this year, too.

I graduated from nursing school. I got a job. And health insurance for the family again. Our cars continued to function. (Knocking on wood furiously at this point.) Cordy started full-day pre-K and is making a lot of progress. I ran/walked my first 5K and lost 20 lb. with the Shredheads. I got to travel to Blissdom and BlogHer and roomed with some fabulous women. And right before Christmas, Aaron was offered a job that we hope will be an amazing opportunity for him.

Yeah, 2009 wasn’t too bad. But I’d like to think it was a transition year between the suck of 2008 and my wish for a lot of good in 2010.

Resolutions generally aren’t my thing, but if I had to pick one for next year, it would be to find more happiness and balance in my life. While I’m glad that I found a job after graduation and have been able to keep our finances afloat as a result, I’m finding that going back to work hasn’t given me all of the satisfaction I was hoping for. I mean, I like what I do, but my work/life balance is utterly screwed up right now.

I miss my girls fiercely, wanting to be more directly involved in their care like I used to be, yet too tired to be a fully-functioning parent. I’m a zombie on my days off, going through the motions despite my best attempts to wake up. Cordy could use more assistance reinforcing her therapy from school, and Mira needs more help from me with her speech. I used to do those things. I hate not being the mom that my two daughters deserve.

I also want to be better to myself, too. I’m doing far less of the stuff I like, and more of the stuff I have to do. Now, I know that no one can escape the boring responsibilities of adult life, but it shouldn’t completely take over my life, either. I haven’t been blogging as much, I haven’t kept in touch with friends as well as I should, I haven’t given Aaron as much attention as he deserves, and I rarely get to enjoy hobbies I used to love. I’m a shell of my former self.

So 2010 is my journey back to balance. I want to reach the end of 2010 and find myself satisfied with where I am at that point in my life. I have no idea how I’ll get there – whether it be a mental adjustment or more drastic actions – but I will find balance again and find my way back to happy. I’ll have more quality time with my family, I’ll do more I enjoy, my family will be happy as well, and strangely enough, it all turns out well.

How?

I don’t know. It’s a mystery.

Here’s to a fabulous 2010 that will put all previous years to shame for prosperity, joy and greatness.

Filed Under: holidays, me me me ·

Dec 26, 2009

Happiest Holidays

By Christina ·

To all of my friends and readers, happy holidays!

I hope you got everything you wanted this year. I can say with certainty that we did.

Cordy got to meet Santa, loving every minute with him and even interrupting others to go back and give Santa a hug after she opened her gift.

Mira received Thomas the Tank Engine trains, books and even underwear. I think she’s satisfied, don’t you?

Score!

Santa heard my plea and wasn’t about to let me be cut off from my ‘net:

Score!

And Aaron found out two days before Christmas that in the new year he will once again be employed. The new job looks promising, tapping into many of Aaron’s talents, and I hope it will be both interesting and fulfilling for him.

All in all, I’d call it a successful Christmas.

Add to it a lot of good time spent with family, an enormous (and delicious) meal this afternoon, and a lot of excitement, and you can see how Cordy ended the day like this:

What about you? Any good presents/stories to share?