A Mommy Story

There are some months that are just so full – of both good and bad – that you want them to be over as quickly as possible, if just to catch your breath and get back to some sense of normalcy. That was March for me. We’re already halfway into April, and I’m still trying to recover from the previous month.

Just a week after returning from Disney, I received a call from my mother on a Saturday morning letting me know that my grandmother had died. I want to add “unexpectedly” to that sentence, but at the same time I know that when you’re 94 years old, it isn’t an unexpected event for the body to decide it’s done. But she was tough, and despite some setbacks she had still been living on her own.

My mom found her that morning when she went to her house to pick her up for her hair appointment. They were able to reconstruct that it happened the night before, after dinner but before she went to bed. The TV was still on, and her crochet project was unfinished. There was comfort in knowing that it was likely quick and painless – she didn’t even have time to push her Lifealert button. If only we could all be so lucky to live to at least 94 years old and pass so easily.

Cordy and Mira were devastated to learn about their GG being gone. The funeral was difficult, especially since my grandmother had requested a closed casket and Cordy wanted to see her one last time. Instead, Cordy and Mira asked for paper and they each wrote GG a letter to say how much they loved her and how much she’d be missed. The funeral director then slipped the letters inside the casket after the funeral for the girls.

My grandmother was the definition of a strong woman. Raised during the Depression, she then went on to join the military in WWII as a WAVES recruit. She then married and lived on a farm without indoor plumbing for many years while raising three daughters. She helped ensure that all three of her daughters went to college. My grandfather died in 1976, and she carried on by herself after his death. She was the most practical person I’ve ever met. And while I can’t remember ever hearing the words “I love you” ever spoken by her, she showed her love for others through her actions.

She’ll be missed.

Grandma Straley with Cordy and Mira in 2008

In-between the news of my grandmother’s death and her funeral, Aaron and I celebrated our 12th anniversary. With everything going on at the time, we weren’t able to do anything grand on that day, but we still went out to eat with the kids and told them all about our wedding day (again). We really weren’t planning to do much, anyway, since our trip to Disney was our big anniversary gift to each other.

Twelve years has gone by quickly, and I couldn’t imagine being here today without Aaron as my partner. I hope we’ll have many more anniversaries to celebrate together.

March was also my follow-up appointment after my miscarriage. My doctor shared that the lab results showed there were no chromosomal abnormalities detected. While we’ll never know exactly what caused it, it was likely the result of something going wrong in cell division. We also found out that “it” was a “she” even though I had a feeling it was a boy. I guess that means we’re keeping our unbroken record of three generations of all females on my mom’s side.

Cordy also had some rough moments at school near the end of March. She’s had some trouble handling all of her emotions lately, and frustration/anger has been the hardest. A few bad choices in response to a change in her routine landed her in the resource room one week and the principal’s office the next week. Cognitively she knows that if she starts to feel angry she should stop, take a few deep breaths, and find a healthy way to express her anger. But she has no filter between brain and action, and so when she’s in the heat of the moment, all of the rules that she can recite so easily are forgotten and it’s game on. We’re trying to teach her to put a big red stop sign in her head whenever her anger rises, to keep her from saying or doing something she shouldn’t, but I have a feeling this will take a lot of repetition before it sticks.

There was some good school news in March, too. The gifted service plan was changed, after months of work from the gifted workgroup (which I was a part of), and the district approved all of the changes, including forming our first gifted academy. The self-contained school will be made up entirely of gifted students, and will allow the teachers of gifted classes the chance to collaborate in one location. Both Cordy and Mira are eligible for the new school, and it’s my hope this will be a good change for them. It was a tough choice, though, because I love the school they’re currently at, but the new school will be closer to home, and will serve grades 3-8, meaning Cordy shouldn’t need to switch schools again for middle school.

And then, just to make sure we weren’t getting complacent at the end of March, Aaron’s car decided it had reached its limit, and the repairs needed were more than the value of the car. We were hoping to make it until the end of the summer without needing to buy a new car, but instead we found ourselves with two days to pick out a new car. Lucky for us, there were some great sales going on at the end of March, and so we found a new car that (mostly) meets our budget.

Our new commuter car.

After March, I’m ready for a few quiet months. Boredom would be a welcome change.