A Mommy Story

A week ago, I was looking at the date and thinking November 22 should mean something to me. It felt like a date I needed to remember. After some thought (and looking through my archives), I realized it was the date that I had started this blog.

Woo! Happy blogiversary (or blog anniversary, or blog birthday, or whatever you want to call it) to me!

Yes, I started my blog in the pre-Twitter, pre-Facebook, pre-Instagram days. Actually, I had a LiveJournal blog for a few years before this one. Not quite a blog pioneer, but I was quick to jump on that next round of wagons heading down the dusty Internet trails before they were paved over to become super highways with outlet malls and flashing neon billboards.

I feel like I should have some kind of wisdom to pass on for having blogged this long. Wisdom I’m not so sure about, but I can share some of my observations over the years.

Nine things I’ve learned in nine years of blogging

1. Being a big blog is nice, but not necessary. Some might argue that if I’ve been writing here for nine years and still haven’t made it big, I must be a failure. (No really, I’ve had people tell me something similar to that.) I’m not regularly featured on top sites, I have no book deal – just nine years of a little blog. But being “big” wasn’t why I started my blog, so I can’t be upset with the results.

I started my blog when Cordy was just over a year old, and I found myself seeking out other parents for camaraderie and to learn from. Most of our friends were childless, and those with kids lived out of town. But the internet was full of other parents sharing their stories – rather than only being a regular commenter on all of their sites, I decided to carve out a little corner of the ‘net to share my stories as well. No one made serious money from their mom blog back then.

Nine years later, I make enough from my ad revenue and the occasional sponsored post to cover my hosting, my site monitoring, and if I’m really lucky, a conference fee each year. I’m still small, and that’s okay.

2. Friendship knows no geographical boundaries on the Internet. I have friends that I see maybe once a year at best, and yet when we do see each other in person, it feels like we hang out together every week. I’ll be the first to tell my kids to be cautious about people they meet online, because people can give a false idea of who they are, but these are time-tested (and IRL-tested) friends. They’re people I’ve known online for years and years, shared highs and lows with, and people who, in-person, are just as friendly and supportive as they are online.

I’m truly thankful for all of the people I have the privilege to meet and be friends with that I might never had met if I hadn’t put myself out there online with my blog.

3. Do as I say, not as I do. In nine years, I’ve learned a lot about how to be a successful blogger. Just don’t expect to see me put it all into practice. I’ve read so many posts on successful blogging, attended countless conferences and taken pages and pages of notes. You’d think I’d have everything down to a science by this point. But…I’m a lousy example of good blogging. I’ve coached others on how to start a blog and grow its audience, and have seen those blogs grow bigger than my blog quickly, yet can’t seem to follow my own advice.

You could say I’m a little disorganized.

The difference is that my blog isn’t my job, and in the mix of work, family, homework, therapy appointments, etc., blogging is often the item that gets pushed aside to make room for everything else. I have a long to-do list for this blog, and an equally long list of post ideas I want to eventually get to, but I’m always limited by time and energy.

It frustrates me at times, but I try to look at the positive: at least it’ll always be here for me when I have the time and energy to put into it. I’ll never be bored with blogging when I’m always wanting to do more with it. In the meantime, I’m always willing to share what I know with others who want to start.

4. I’ve learned a lot, but I still don’t know what I’m doing. This may seem counter to what I just wrote in #3, but it really isn’t. With how quickly technology and best practices change, it’s impossible to keep up on everything unless it’s your full-time job. Yes, parts of it are my full-time job (I can talk ad viewability and mobile options for hours) but I can’t possibly have the time to keep up on all of the ideal times to post and what topics are trending and what the proper spacing is between sponsored posts. I still have a lot to learn, and that’s okay.

5. Success is random. I know this isn’t true for everyone, and some bloggers work hard for their success. I can write long, heartfelt posts that barely get noticed. But then sometimes you write post about a creepy Furby, never intending it to get much attention, and find you have 1,000+ pageviews on the day after Christmas. (I feel your pain, other parents. I really do.) If required, I couldn’t reproduce that kind of successful post on demand – I’m really not very good at humor when I try.

6. It feels good to make a difference for someone else. Probably my favorite part of blogging is when I share a story of something that happened to me, or a solution I found for something, and have a reader comment or email me to say, “That happened to me, too. I’m glad to know I’m not alone.” Which is really the whole reason I started blogging – to know I wasn’t alone in the parenting struggles I was experiencing. Or school transportation struggles, as I saw last year.

Most recently, the post about developing bursitis from a poorly administered flu shot has opened my eyes as to how big of a problem this is. So many other people have had a similar experience, and my story has helped them know it isn’t all in their heads, and given them ideas on what steps to take next. That’s powerful.

7. You have to accept that you never know who will find your blog. It can be fun to look at your site stats and see where everyone is coming from. Like when I saw several visits from the City of Columbus to my blog last October. (Tell me again that “random” tax audit was unrelated to my position against last year’s levy, Columbus? *waves hi*)

Over the years, I’ve become more aware that anyone can find my blog, and so it’s wise to carefully consider what I put here. I’ve made some revisions to older material to avoid some embarrassment to my kids (like removing a photo of a bare baby butt), and I’m more cautious with what I choose to share. I can still cringe in embarrassment over some of my earlier posts, but overall I’m content with what others may find here. Even my kids’ teachers.

8. Blogging can be the start of great things. While my blog may not be big, I can’t deny that it has led to some big opportunities. I’ve been to the Johnson & Johnson headquarters and heard from top execs, saw how Cheryl’s cookies are made, gone on tours of the Ohio dairy and beef industries, experienced the sights of Lake Erie and many happy visits to Cedar Point, and even went to Disneyland for the first time.

If I hadn’t started this blog, I wouldn’t have met the people who helped me navigate the world of autism when Cordy was diagnosed and helped me be the best possible advocate for her. And without my blog I wouldn’t have found the awesome job I have now, with the best coworkers ever.

9. Just as people grow and change, blogs grow and change. And that’s okay. Nine years ago, I was an exhausted mom of a toddler. I’m still exhausted, but I’ve changed a lot since that time, and as a result much of what I write about has changed, too. I think it’s only natural for a blog to grow and change with the author. I write more about running, education and family travel now, and less about the embarrassing antics of my kids.

As Cordy and Mira have grown older, I’m finding it more of a challenge to share their stories in a way that hopefully won’t be used against them by their peers as they grow into teens. They are both aware of this blog and they generally get a say in the posts I write. If they don’t want something shared, I won’t share it. Luckily, both are usually okay with anything I write about them. Maybe they’ll start their own blogs someday.

I’ve noticed an ebb and flow with my writing, too. Sometimes I have a lot to say, and sometimes I have long stretches between posts. I still usually have a lot to say in those moments, but I’m too busy to find time to write. My drafts folder is a little overgrown at the moment, and it’s been hard to give myself permission to let it go – I feel guilty if I’m not writing regular posts, which is silly. I’ll get to those posts eventually.

I’m working on letting go of the shame when I don’t write for awhile.

Lately, I’ve also been struggling with the name of my blog, considering (for the umpteenth time) re-branding to a new name that better reflects how I’ve grown and changed. I’m nearly beyond the “mommy” days now – even now, Mira only calls me “mommy” when she wants something, and otherwise it’s “mom.” It may happen, it may not – I’m sure I’ll debate the idea in my head for months to come.

Either way, I still enjoy blogging and will keep on keeping on for the foreseeable future. Thanks to everyone who has stopped by to read, left a comment, or shared a post. I will never take for granted the honor of having someone choose to read my words. I’d still be here writing if no one stopped by, but having readers along for the ride makes it so much more rewarding.