Back To School, Back To Routine

Yesterday was the first day back to school for my two. Cue angels singing, right? It’s no surprise that I was happy to send them back to school after a week and a half with them at home while I tried to work. No one was having a lot of fun and they need the structure of the school routine.

We spent the weekend furiously getting everything ready for the school year. Washing new clothing, stocking the pantry with single-serve pouches of food for their lunchboxes, buying school supplies, and determining wake-up times for school mornings that would still have them ready for the bus on time.

The bus was a bit of an issue. First, they sent us our bus route information with no route assigned for Mira. This had happened last year, too. Since our school is outside of our “neighborhood” area, they don’t usually provide busing for us. But Cordy’s IEP means she does have an assigned route, with door-to-door pickup. Last year it was easy to get Mira assigned as well, once we pointed out that they live in the same house, and will be going to the same school – letting her sit on the same bus seemed like a no-brainer. Why this note for her didn’t carry forward into this year, I have no idea.

We were also concerned about the bus situation when we received an automated call the night before telling us there would be bus delays across the district. They’re short about 100 drivers – with new drivers unable to complete training before the end of September – so there would be district-wide delays. Beyond being angry at the district for not having a backup plan (their plan to contract in more drivers fell through) I wondered how slow this would make the buses now?

The kids were up early yesterday morning, excited and nervous for the day ahead. We had them ready long before the bus arrived and I exercised my parental right to torture them with first day of school photos.

 She’s grown a foot since last year, I think.

Mira still looks like she’s a small version of 16 years old.

Amazingly, the bus was only about five minutes late, so I had high hopes that they’d get to school on time. I grabbed all of their school supplies that didn’t fit into their backpacks and tossed them into the car, planning to meet the kids at the school for their first day. I left 30 minutes after they did. When I got to the school, about ten minutes before the start of classes, I found their bus hadn’t arrived yet.

I stood at the entrance and talked with the teachers while waiting on the bus. The bell rang to start classes and the bus still wasn’t there. I took Mira’s supplies down to her classroom and chatted briefly with her teacher, then went to the library for the first day welcome for parents. I chatted for about ten minutes, then walked back towards the front of the building to see if the bus had arrived yet.

Cordy was sitting at a table in the gym, eating a quick breakfast while Mira was tossing out her trash. (Both kids always accept the free breakfast, despite eating a big breakfast at home. I can’t seem to break them of this habit.) They had arrived five minutes before that, almost 20 minutes late for class. I asked Mira if she wanted me to show her where her class was, but she skipped off down the hall, waving back at me and saying, “No, it’s OK – I know where it is!” That kid will be in charge of the school by the time she’s in fifth grade.

But Cordy had a panicked look on her face. Having the bus bring her late can be a major anxiety trigger for her. She doesn’t like being late to something, and she told me over the summer that she gets nervous walking into a classroom when the other kids are already seated and working.

Her aide was with her and said she’d take her down to class, but Cordy’s eyes were large and she was clutching her chest (rapid heartbeat from anxiety) as she squeaked out, “I’m nervous…the other kids are already there and they’ll stare at me. I don’t want to go.”

I took her hand and leaned down to look at her. “Want me to go in with you, too? With me and Mrs. F, we’ll make sure you get started OK.” She nodded and we walked down to the other end of the building.

As we walked into the room, Cordy pulled back and tried to hide behind me. The other kids were sorting the supplies they brought in and no one was looking in her general direction. Her teacher this year is the same teacher she had for advanced reading last year, so they’re already familiar with each other. I tapped her teacher on the shoulder and let her know Cordy was late due to the bus.

Cordy’s teacher immediately welcomed Cordy back and called over her helper to meet Cordy. She asked Cordy to sit next to the helper so Cordy could catch up on what they had already sorted from the school supplies list. I handed my kid her supply bag, kissed her on the head and whispered, “You’ll have a great day. It’ll be better than you think it will.”

I wasn’t so sure of my own words. Walking out of that classroom, I wondered if Cordy would lose that grip on her anxiety and have a panic attack. She was with a familiar teacher, in a class where she already knew some of the kids – this should be a good setting for her. I hoped that the bus issue wouldn’t ruin her entire day.

As I was home working all day, I waited for the call from the school, expecting that something would come up. But there was no call.

I let them ride the bus home yesterday, hoping that by some miracle it would arrive by the scheduled 4:15pm drop off. Ha. It finally arrived at 4:45pm, just as I was reaching my upper limit of tolerance. The driver said it would be this way for about a month, but should then get better when they hire more drivers. I told her about the anxiety being late caused that morning, and asked if she could possibly start her route sooner to get them there on time. She said she’d look into it. I’ll give it a week or so before I decide if I start driving them to school or not.

The kids? They both had a great first day. Cordy immediately told me, “You were right, mom! The day went far better than I thought it would!” She did recognize kids who are friendly to her, and she even asked a very smart question to the principal during the school assembly on expectations for the year. Her question – what are the social rules for work time in the classroom?

Mira gave me a full recap of all of the friends who were in her class, and those who aren’t, as well as who she played with on the playground. She’s been assigned a task of carrying the lunch basket each day, too. She told me she already got her behavior card moved for – no surprise – talking. Her biggest problem in kindergarten was talking too much when she shouldn’t, so this year she may be in for a lot of behavior modification. But she plans to do better at not getting her card moved next week. It’s an ambitious goal, but one I’d love to see her meet.

I’m so proud of Cordy and Mira for handling themselves well on the first day. Cordy held back her urge to fall apart in a new situation, and Mira’s confidence is shining through as she tries to take leadership roles within her class and probably within the school later.

And they didn’t fight (much) with each other for their first morning back to school!

While I’m a little sad to see my two girls growing up so fast, I think they’re going to have a great school year. If we could just buy a new house closer to the school so we don’t need the long bus rides, we’d be set. Maybe that’ll be a goal for next summer.