Proving I Don’t Have It All Together

I like to think that I’m a fairly responsible parent, and try to do what I can to not let people down or make dumb moves. But like anyone juggling multiple balls, plus a pie, a knife and a flaming torch, sometimes you make mistakes. You only hope it’s not a mistake that leads to someone getting hurt, burned, or ends up with pie on their face.

Yesterday I managed to fail twice in one day. Twice within a couple of hours, honestly. That has to be a new record.

Around 4pm, I was head down over my computer working, when there was a knock at the door. I noticed the person was peeking in the window, and at first I wondered who would be at our door. As I got up and walked towards the door, though, I suddenly recognized her: Cordy’s new behavioral therapist.

Oh shit. It’s Thursday. We were supposed to meet on Thursday.

And Cordy was still at camp.

I was mortified as I opened the door and she asked how things were going. I had to confess that I had forgotten and that Cordy wasn’t here at the moment because I didn’t go get her like I should have.

Thankfully she was very understanding, and decided we could still take advantage of the time by discussing goals for Cordy without her. I managed to reassure myself that this wasn’t a complete disaster because it gave me the chance to talk about what worries me the most about Cordy without her being here to hear it. See, a positive, right? OK, maybe not, but I still think it wasn’t a total waste of time for her to be here.

I also partially blame my calendar app on my phone. I recently changed phones, and when we imported my old data to my new one, apparently this appointment didn’t sync on the calendar. Technology has no feelings, so I can blame Siri.

After dinner, when the kids WERE home, Mira asked me to check if she had any loose teeth. She’s only lost a few so far, and is anxious for more Tooth Fairy visits. Nothing new was wiggly.

Cordy, however, has had a wiggly tooth for two months. It’s a cuspid, I think? We’ve been waiting for this tooth to fall out because she has the permanent tooth for it already coming in, but pushed in front of it because the baby tooth has yet to vacate it’s spot. To make it even more complicated, she has a premolar (bicuspid?) immediately under it also trying to find space to come in. Her dentist didn’t want to pull the tooth at the last visit, but noted that it needed to come out to give the other teeth a chance at space.

Side note: there’s still not enough space. By far. The kid is looking at major orthodontia in the future.

I asked Cordy to show me how her wiggly tooth was doing. I pushed against it a little, and it easily moved back and forth, like it was just floating there. So I decided to try giving it a little tug, thinking it would either pop right out or nothing would happen.

I’d strongly recommend not taking this course of action without at least first warning your child.

(Warning to those who are squeamish about teeth: this next section is not for you.)

With only the most gentle of tugs, suddenly the tooth popped up. But not entirely. One root was still hanging on as best it could, unwilling to release. So now there was a tooth dangling by a single root in her mouth – not able to stay in place, but also not able to come out.  And blood, of course.

Cordy immediately could tell there was something wrong and started to freak out. I tried to keep her calm while asking Aaron to hurry it up with those tissues and help me.

It was quite a scene: Cordy standing there with blood in her mouth and a tooth hanging from her lower jaw, starting to yell and cry, not out of pain but panic. Me, reaching over for tissues with one hand and the other hand on Cordy’s face, paralyzed by the indecision of leaving the tooth alone or trying to pull it all the way out. Aaron trying to move his laptop off his lap to come help, and both of us calmly telling Cordy it was OK and she was fine and think of the Tooth Fairy! And Mira, suddenly very interested in all of this, saying “Let me see!” and trying to maneuver herself beside me to see the tooth dangling because that sounded SO COOL.

The tooth couldn’t stay like that, so I tried again to gently pull on it, but that last root wouldn’t budge and she said it hurt. So I spun Cordy around to face Aaron, telling him, “It has to come out.”

“Cordy, do you want me to pull it out or do you want to try it yourself?” Aaron asked.

“You do it,” Cordy whimpered.

So he did. It took maybe five seconds and one short squeal from Cordy, but the tooth came out.

Exhibit A: the cuspid

Cordy got some milk “to wash it out” and soon calmed down and started discussing what she hoped the Tooth Fairy would bring her. I felt awful for starting the whole debacle. I should have left the tooth alone until that last root was ready to let go.

The Tooth Fairy gave her an extra dollar for that tooth – guilt money.

My goal for the next week is to try again at giving that illusion that I know what I’m doing as a parent. Or at the very least not miss any scheduled appointments and leave everyone’s teeth alone.