A Mommy Story

Now that we’re in the season of Lent, temptation seems like a topic worth discussing. Seems like everyone I know is giving up something for Lent, with the most popular shunned items being desserts, chocolate, or candy. It’ll probably only be a few days before some of them will be faced with temptation as they walk past the pastries in the grocery or are offered a chocolate by a friend. They’ll have to make the conscious decision to say no and accept that they can’t have that food they so long for.

I’m not participating in Lent, but I’ve been feeling the steady pull of temptation for months now as I work at giving up my old ways to create a healthier lifestyle and body for myself. I’ve had to look temptation in the eye and say “no” many times. This includes second helpings of dinner, bags of potato chips and chocolates placed in front of me, and the urge to remain on the couch rather than make the effort to exercise.

When I first started this, I had to go nearly cold turkey with many foods. It was too tempting to have a bag of chips in the house, because I knew that even if I only meant to eat a few, the urge to finish the bag would be too strong and I’d lose my willpower. Seemed easier to simply avoid my trigger foods as much as possible until I could learn to live without them.

But I knew this wasn’t a good long term plan. If you cut out all of your favorite foods forever, you’ll eventually be overcome by temptation and feelings of being deprived. You know where that leads: eventually you scream “Screw it!” and dive into a bag of Hershey’s Kisses mouth first. After you polish off the bag, you’re left feeling miserable, both from the physical stomach-ache and from beating yourself up mentally with guilt.

I completely avoided trigger foods for a short while, then began slowly allowing myself reasonable portions. I still don’t keep potato chips at home, but when I see them at work, I allow myself to grab a handful and enjoy them slowly. At work I’m less likely to overeat, so it was the perfect place to reintroduce trigger foods. I’ll even buy foods I love and bring them to work rather than take them home – sharing them with others helps keep me from overeating.

However, this time of the year – and I’m talking about Shamrock Shake and Girl Scout cookie season for those who might not know – is particularly hard for me. I know these are LIMITED TIME foods that I’m urged to shovel into my mouth as fast as possible because soon they’ll be GONE GONE GONE! The marketing message is clear: eat all you can while they’re still here!

In the past, this trick worked well. I love Shamrock Shakes, so once the sign was up at my local McDonald’s, I was making sure to get one each time I stopped by, and I was more likely to stop there for a meal because of the shake. When they’d run out before the end of the month, I was genuinely sad. I didn’t know if I had managed to drink enough of them to satisfy my craving until the next year.

Sad, isn’t it?

This year? I have yet to have a Shamrock Shake, but I won’t go without. I’m planning to get one on St. Patrick’s Day, and I’m going to love every last sip of it. I’ve told myself for weeks now that I only need one shake to enjoy the taste – 12 shakes aren’t going to help me remember the taste for the rest of the year any better than one.

As for the Girl Scout cookies – we’ve purchased several boxes, and in our house they tend to go quickly. This year I bought snack-sized baggies and we opened up each box and immediately separated the cookies into individual serving size baggies. If I want Thin Mints, I grab a bag, which has a single serving size of 4 cookies in it. It reminds me what a serving is and keeps me from absentmindedly eating an entire sleeve of them or letting temptation whisper in my ear: What’s one more cookie? Look, it’s right there, no one will notice. Now how about another?

Losing weight sucks. It involves making several hard choices every single day, often choosing against behavior patterns I’ve been set in for years. Sloth and temptation are my enemies, disguised as the “old” me. But I’ve learned their game, and I know that it’s not an all or nothing deal. I can still have foods I love, just in moderation. I won’t let an ice cream cone bring on waves of guilt or shame – I’ll savor every bite and remind myself that small treats are awesome occasionally.

Temptation won’t defeat me.