A Mommy Story

I am the voice of calm in the middle of the night for many new moms.

When they’re up at 3am with a crying, fussy baby, I’m awake, too. I wait for them to call me, with their questions like Is this normal? and What am I doing wrong? I can hear the frustration and worry in their voices.

I go through my standard series of questions for them, quizzing them as much as they quiz me. Once I feel like I’ve gathered enough information, I give my best educated opinion on the issue. If they need to see their pediatrician, I tell them that upfront. If the situation warrants it, I provide suggestions and tips they may not have thought of. When possible, I share my knowledge with them so that they may be better educated.

The truth is, rarely are they doing something wrong. If anything, these parents who call in the middle of the night are only proving to me that they are dedicated, loving parents, looking for answers to provide comfort to their infants as well as peace of mind for themselves. Babies don’t have instruction manuals, and I’ve yet to meet two infants who are exactly alike. Life with a baby is a series of trial and error, and while that doesn’t always mean making mistakes, it often means having to make several adjustments until the right routine is found. (Wait. I think that applies to life with a child at any age…)

I never talk down to them. I remember being a first-time mom, too, wondering if “colic” was really doctor-speak for “ineffective parent” as I tried anything to soothe my screaming child. Had you talked to me at 3am on one of those long nights as I held my daughter while bouncing on an exercise ball, you might have thought I was out of my mind. The advice I give now is 3 parts nurse, with 1 part experienced mom thrown in for good measure.

Even though I’m no longer in a clinical, hands-on practice, each new caller provides me with a patient, and I give them as much attention and care as I would for someone I was working with in person. I want them to feel confident in their parenting skills, and I genuinely want their infant to be content and healthy.

Some have been kind enough to call back and give me updates on their children, even occasionally thanking me for a tip I provided or a few reassuring words that helped them through the night. I remember those moments when I deal with a difficult parent who doesn’t like the advice I’m giving and instead takes their frustrations out on me.

I sometimes hate the hours I work. It’s hard to stay awake all night and sleep all day, only to turn my schedule around on my two days off so I can spend time with my family. I miss sleeping in the same bed – at the same time – with my husband. It’s not all bad, though. I enjoy the stillness of the night. I like the quiet office. And those middle-of-the-night calls, by weary, sleepless parents, are often some of the most rewarding.

I’m a phone triage night nurse, and if you need me at 3am, I’m here and ready to help.

(This post is totally at the request of nicurnmama, who insisted I write a little bit about my job, even if I can’t go into a lot of detail for privacy reasons.)