Don’t Mess With My Money

I’m generally an easy-going person. It takes a lot to make me really angry, and there are generally few topics that can make me go totally unhinged. Messing with my kids tops the list, of course, but other notable triggers include social injustice, intentionally rude people, and cheating me in some way.

I’m also very protective of our money. Not that we have a lot at the moment, with Aaron unemployed and all, but what we do have I guard over like it’s the lost treasure of Atlantis. Every penny is accounted for.

Which means you can imagine how I flipped when I recently discovered someone was writing forged checks from our checking account. They had somehow stolen our bank account number and printed up new checks with a different name, address and phone number.

At first, I tried to give them then benefit of the doubt. Oh, maybe this guy got new checks and accidentally wrote down the wrong account number, I thought. This will be an easy fix by the bank, we’ll get our money back, and I won’t need to turn into the Incredible Hulk.

But then my theory fell apart. The address and phone number on the check was for a business in Indiana. The name on the check was not associated with the business. And the bank listed on the check was also not the same bank as ours, despite having the same routing number. It was definitely a forgery.

The bank has been very kind in helping us through this, especially considering I must have looked like a crazed woman as I fumed at being told I’d have to shut down my checking account and get a new one. I’ve had that account for over 15 years. The account number was never listed anywhere because I had it memorized – and now I have to learn a new number, as well as change all of my direct deposit and debit information for the bazillion utility bills and loans attached to the account.

I feel completely violated that my checking account number was somehow found and used to steal money from our account. Not as violated as I felt when our house was broken into and robbed, but enough to wish a lot of karmic harm to that individual. It’s a struggle to earn what money we have, and it pisses me off that someone thinks they can earn their living by stealing accounts and using the money from other people.

The stolen money has been given back to us by the bank, thank goodness. But I’m still angry about the incident. When we filed the police report, the office gave us our report number and basically told us no one would be looking into it. I appreciate the honesty, but it frustrates me even more that this guy (or woman – the check was written to a plus-size women’s clothing store) got away with it because it isn’t enough money for them to bother investigating it further.

We have a new checking account now, and once we pick up our new checks and check cards we’ll even have access to it. (Seriously, waiting a week for my check card is like making me live a week without any money at all – who has time to physically go to the bank for cash?)

I know we’re lucky to have caught it right at the first fake check. The check number wasn’t even that far off from our current sequence, so it could have easily slipped past if I wasn’t (obsessively) examining the account daily and looking at every check image that shows up in our account.

The funny part? When I told my mom our account had been compromised, she immediately launched into a lecture about how this will be all the more common now because of how we use plastic cards for everything and it’s so easy to steal credit card numbers electronically. I think she’s convinced the world will someday end because of our reliance on computers, like our computers will suddenly steal our credit card numbers and buy parts to start building Terminators to enslave humanity. I cut her off with, “Yeah, but this wasn’t my check card – it was all paper fraud, mom! Old-school paper checks!” Ha.

I hope you check your accounts online daily. It’s too easy for a scammer to steal a little bit here, a little bit there, and you might not even notice. Don’t let them take money from you, too – keep your account passwords safe, destroy any paper account information and monitor them vigilantly.

And if you ever meet someone who thinks it’s no big deal to use forged checks? Kick him in the balls for me, OK?