It’s a tradition in my family to always pick out funny cards for any occasion, including Mother’s Day. So I was quite proud of my accomplishment this year, when I selected a card that read on the outside: “Mom, now that I’m a parent, I understand what you went through in raising me…” On the inside: “Hell. Happy Mother’s Day.”

I know I wasn’t the easiest kid to deal with, and I’m glad my mom had the patience to deal with a kid who was really too smart for her own good.

I never suspected that my mother had any regrets in how she raised me. After all, I graduated near the top of my class, attended a well-respected university where I graduated with honors, spent a summer studying in England, married, bought a house, and gave birth to two beautiful daughters of my own. Sure, I’ve got my share of problems, too, but I thought mom had to be pretty proud of her job as mother. In fact, I often wondered how I could ever measure up to her standard in raising my own children.

A few years ago, mom gave me a small piece of advice that made me realize that no matter how well we do, guilt can plague any mother. I don’t remember how the conversation came up, but at one point she became very serious and told me, “Just promise me one thing: when your daughter is sick, take your sick time and be with her. Because no matter what’s going on at work, no matter your deadlines or how much people say they need you to come in that day, they don’t need you as much as your kid.”

Truer words never spoken.

My mom went on to say that she regrets not staying home with me more when I was sick. Instead, she would go to work, believing that they needed her more at work. She usually called in my grandmother to be with me for the day. But she was right – I didn’t want my grandmother, I wanted my mom. My mom was the one I felt most comfortable with, and even though it was the same Campbell’s canned soup, chicken-noodle soup somehow tasted better when my mom made it.

When she retired a few years ago, she had nearly a year of sick time saved up from her 30 years of service. One year. And she could only cash out a tiny fraction of that time. She looked at that lost time as lost opportunity to be with me when I needed her. I’ve tried to tell her that I understood that she needed to work, but I don’t think she’s fully forgiven herself for it. I sometimes think she is trying to make up for that time by spending more time with her granddaughters now.

And so I’ve taken her advice and vowed to spend as much quality time with Cordy and Mira as I can. When one of them is sick, I do all I can to be there for them. And I remember that work will come and go, but nothing can replace the comfort a mother can provide to her children.

Happy Mother’s Day, mom. You probably don’t believe me, but I do actually hear your advice. Sometimes I even follow it. And I want you to know that while we may not have had as much time together as we both would have liked when I was a kid, it was always quality time.

me & my mom, 1976
Christina

Christina is a married mom of two daughters from Columbus, Ohio, and has been blogging at A Mommy Story since 2005.

Share
Published by
Christina

Recent Posts

Star Wars: The Force Awakens In Your Living Room

I am days away from getting on a plane to go run in the Star…

9 years ago

Recap: runDisney’s Princess Weekend 2016 Enchanted 10k

Well, a late recap is slightly better than never, right? Things are finally slowing down…

9 years ago

Escaping Everyday Stress at Castaway Bay

How's 2016 been going so far, you ask? Well, the two words that best describe…

9 years ago

Yet Another Update On My Shoulder

It's flu shot season, which means that the traffic has started to pick up on…

9 years ago

Marvel’s Ant-Man Available on Blu-ray and Digital HD.

Disclaimer: We were provided a free digital download of Marvel’s Ant-Man for the purposes of…

9 years ago

My First Half Marathon: Columbus Half Marathon

Ever since I ran the Princess Enchanted 10k at Walt Disney World earlier this year,…

9 years ago